wedding invites
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11740
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Topic: wedding invites
Posted By: lizzle
Subject: wedding invites
Date Posted: 23 October 2007 at 8:25pm
| well, have been talking to lewis about this wedding thing, and assuming poeple don't die from now til we get married (possibly 3 years time), we have over 200 people to invite - seriously, how can you invite people when you can't remember their names - anyway, i digress. just wondering married ladies, what percentage of people actualy come? just cause i've been looking at a few venues and most can cater up to 130 sitting - and that is the larger places. |
Replies:
Posted By: KH25
Date Posted: 23 October 2007 at 8:29pm
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I think its on average around 80%? ------------- Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 23 October 2007 at 8:41pm
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I'm not sure, but I was really mean and told people they couldn't bring their kids (please don't hurt me). We got married abroad so only had a reception at home and it wasn't sit down or anything, just finger nibbles.
I also wonder the point of inviting peoples whose names you don't know, the amount of people that were at ours that I had never met before seems a bit ridiculous. My MIL had loads of random people that she wanted us to invite and DH wouldn't say no. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 23 October 2007 at 8:45pm
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200 people?? holy!!!
We had about 90% of people say yes.. we also said no kids but this was because our venue was a bar (the bathhouse) and more of an evening thing than day time so we didn't feel it was suitable for kiddies.. |
Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 23 October 2007 at 8:50pm
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in hindsight after ours i would have culled the guest list a whole lot more, make it a strict rule that if you havnt heard from the person in 6 months to not invite them (thats for friends though)
too many people i havnt seen since the wedding, and am wondering WHY they were there! ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe -  my big 4 year old 
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 October 2007 at 9:05pm
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We invited 120 and 98 came, 100 had said yes, but Ana and Peter didn't come. We also didn't invite kids, and no cousins/aunts/uncles other than the ones we see and like. no "partners" for the terminally single. Had a massive lunch at the pub the next day to share with those we couldn't stretch to invite. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 23 October 2007 at 9:09pm
| 90%??? bugger. might have to cull a few i think. problem is that at most of the weddings held in his communicty and family the invitation is more general as in "Darren and Sharon are invited.." means, darren, sharon, their kids, their kids friends, the random cousin and a couple of random children will turn up. i we get married in Palmy maybe not so bad, but gisborne will definitely be everyone and the dog. - but there at least we have the marae for koha. |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 October 2007 at 9:15pm
I think ours was only around 70% but it's hard to remember - especially since Mum & Dad footed the bill  Also it may be lower since we married in Palmy so some family had to travel from Auckland etc, whereas not all friends will travel that far. I think we got a good turnout to our reception actually. It was hard to organise cause we had about 80 extended family  and only 120 seats! And some friends would be preferable over family lol!
We did invite children but not many, my parents had quite a few under 12 still. We did a big list and went through with priorities: A = family B = close friends C = lowest priority. Then we added up the A's and B's and that was still too many, so all the C's weren't invited (and we had to re-prioritise the B's). It was the easiest way for us. ------------- |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 23 October 2007 at 9:19pm
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We did the 6 months rule and it was really good. Once the invites had gone out a few high school "friends" called me but there was no way they were coming. We just invited auntys and uncles and the oldies on my side and DH's oldies and a few of his cousins (as he is the youngest). The conventions centre is pretty big that would seat that many you need to sit. We invited 102 and 94 came but 98 RSVP'ed to come and 4 didn't come ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
. 2 for good reasons and the other well they are just known as my nana's children or my mum's brother and sister.Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 23 October 2007 at 9:32pm
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The wedding mags recommend you allow for a 90% turnout, we had about 92% (yes I'm a geek and worked it out), and that included people travelling from all over incl Aussie. We did the no kids thing as most of our friends said 'um OK would rather not have my kids there as I can have a night out by myself!' so it was settled.
We did the 6-month thing too, and if any single friends didn't have a partner 6mos out from the wedding but got one closer to the time, it was tough luck. We had 3 people not turn up - 2 had a good reason, 1 just 'didn't feel like it' (DH's cousin who was just an obligatory invite anyway) so DH's aunty brought a guy she'd been on 1 date with! Rrr in-laws. Can't live with them, and it's illegal to bump them off!
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 12:29am
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lizzle We are getting married in March and our guest list started at 125 people. We did a major cull and decided that only immediate family including cousins and friends we'd associated with in the last 3 months before we moved to Aus are invited.
We did the same as emz with partners. Our invites go out next month so tough if anyone gets a partner. We have also made it Adults only. Our venue can only hold up to 110 Max so thats another reason for the smaller list. Our list is now at 85 incl bridal party!! We are holding a BBQ the next day for those that couldnt be invited to the wedding. All the best  . It was probably one of the hardest tasks I have done so far. ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 7:49am
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wow we were really bad then..ours was strictly close family and a couple of very close friends... had 42 there in the end (due to venue being very small) and it was great..if we invited the whole family on both sides it would have been about 120 and I didn't want such a big wedding..jut an intimate gathering..and I loved it:) 100% turnout;) though a little different when it;s your closest family ! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 8:53am
Becks is right. They can seat 100s of people in some of the rooms. They are the venue for the Call Centre Cluster awards night and I think last year it was around 300 people, fully catered etc.. and they are really cool to deal with. |
mummy_becks wrote:Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 9:19am
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We invited 140 and 135 turned up. More than 5 had refused but there is an offset also for those who can't make it and the random people who manage to get a last minute invite.
We had no kids, and only put '& partner' if the person wouldn't know a lot of people at the wedding. Also that 140 was for the ceremony and the meal. We also had evening invites for the dancing and nibbles later in the night. This is common in Ireland and means that extended cousins and friends/acquaintances get included in this. |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 9:57am
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We're getting married at Caccia Birch they can take up to 120. We are only having a tiny wedding 50 guests and expecting all to come, our list consists of family and friends, we haven't invited cousins.
We aren't including work colleagues, and the few people that have kids have opted to leave them with grandparents etc. If you want to know anything about getting married in Palmy just ask, I've spent the last 10 months planning our nuptials for March. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 10:07am
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Lol, definately ask Fleury - I've fallen off the wedding planning track and still am at the "maybe we should just elope" stage again. lol.
I think convention centre would be a great place to get married really is you need to cater for that many. We are forever re-thinking numbers etc, really by the time it happens, most of my nieces and nephews will be in their mid teens so won't be too bad. I think the biggest thing for me now, is that ih aven't seen or heard from one of my bridesmaids that lives in palmy for at least 10 months, lol, am wondering if by the time we get married she'll actually be the right one for the job.
Go for as many or as little amount of people as you want. I think the barbeque the next day idea sounds all good too. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 10:22am
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We're having a BBQ lunch the next day, for everyone who we can't have at the wedding.
I've kept it small as I've been to big weddings where DF and I didn't really know anyone except the Bride and Groom and we didn't get to speak to them all day/night. Our venue probably isn't the right size for you, but do shop around. One of the advantages of Caccia Birch is its BYO alcohol and we provide our own caterrers, its a lot cheaper and we get to keep any leftover food for the BBQ next day. I would have expectations of 90% of invited guests attending, its surprised me the efforts family and friends make to attend a wedding. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 10:46am
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We had so many people to invite, so we had to do a lot of thinking about who was actually going to be involved with us and our marriage/lives! Didn't end up inviting some family that I haven't actually even seen since I was a baby anyway. We invited about 120 people and had 100 people there at the reception... there were more at the actual wedding, as we invited heaps of people to that and only closer family and friends to the reception. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 1:04pm
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we have just had a "discussion" about invites. we decided to word them with just parents names and figured those who REALLY want to bring the kids will then ring and ask - we can say "sure thats fine" and some will assume we don't want kids. then if they moan we can say "oh ,we must have worded it funny" - heheh - so sneaky
not sure if we'll do it here or in gisborne. Just i'm a bit over the marae/hangi wedding. i know it's cheap but getting bored of the same food trotted out time and time again. |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 1:14pm
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Janine if she hasn't contacted you in that long I wouldn't be giving her an honoured role like that. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 1:21pm
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I agree Janine. I had one girl who really wanted to be a bridesmaid, and she was a really good friennd, but she moved to nelson late last year and still hasn't aknowledged my Dad's death or even Charlottes birth, and is supposedly a "good friend". I ended up with just one, and she was perfect.
Liz, you could always send out an email to guests with kids asking if you need to organise babysitters, that gets the message across, I did that, it worked a treat and got the message across without offending anyone. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 1:23pm
The other way to reduce the numbers is to go to Fiji or one of the islands and get married that way you get your wedding and honeymoon all in one, and will weed out the family that really want to come for you and not the free party.  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 1:30pm
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lol Becks, you know who i'm talking about here too
She has a bit of a habit of kinda disappearing and not really staying in contact but usually will ring back at least if i leave messages on her answer machine. however that hasn't happened. Mike's been on for ages for me to cut it down to just the 1 anyway cos he doesn't get on with her and when we went trying on bridesmaid dresses, we had to reschedule 3 times, she then turned up, acted like she had to be somewhere, wouldn't even try the dam dress on, just chucked it up against her and said "choose what you like" and left again. Seriously haven't seen or heard from her since. hhhm I think that's my own arguement opened and closed really isn't it. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 24 October 2007 at 3:08pm
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Yep get rid of her, you don't need people like that in a wedding party - I have seen this with my friend but it was her own sister that was behaving like that. I did think that when we were talking about her a few weeks ago when I saw her with a kid. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |