Just take him and don't worry about it. I took Josh to a baby shower when he was 3 months old and didn't take any room and was a good boy the whole time (apart from when he exploded in his nappy ). And anyway its a baby thing that woman and babies go to.

I wouldnt even go if that was the case. I would just say I either come with my baby or I dont come at all. DOnt ever let anyone make you think your own opinions are overreacting its your right at Ollies mum to chose when and where you are ready to leave him.

I'm sorry to say that I can actually see the cousin's point of view, although it definitely sounds like there is more going on than just hormonal irrationality on her part. My SIL gave birth a month before me, and brought her newborn to my baby shower, where everyone oohed and aahed over her and the baby and generally ignored me while she "held court". It is *her* baby shower, so of course she is the centre of attention, whether she deserves to be or not.

I think that if you had a five-day-old baby or a five-week-old baby, I would certainly not expect you to leave him to come to a baby shower (especially when demand breast-feeding). So perhaps because he is five months old, she thinks that you'd probably be okay with leaving him home with his dad, and that four hours isn't a very long time (it's not a whole day, after all). Obviously she doesn't have a baby of her own, and I remember how naive I was before my daughter was born!!!

Despite the cattiness, I'd be inclined to give the cousin the benefit of the doubt. I remember how I felt toward the end of my pregnancy -- I was pretty invisible during the whole thing because my SIL managed to hog the limelight all the time, being pregnant at the same time as me. So by the time my baby shower rolled around, I was completely fed up. It sounds like your cousin might be jealous of you and doesn't know how to rationalise her feelings (and what pregnant woman should be expected to, LOL) and is obviously expressing herself to you in an offensive way and reacting quite rudely to you. She may simply think that some time on your own might be quite a refreshing change for you and doesn't at all realise that what *she* wants you to do isn't what *you* want to do.

Whatever the reason, I think you have to stand up for yourself in a polite, adult, mature, elegant way, instead of letting her make you feel unwanted and offended. If you don't feel comfortable leaving Ollie, send your gift with your mother along with your best wishes, and don't go. Better to set the stage for how you intend to act now, rather than have this kind of thing keep cropping up and making you fume more and more each time. Good luck!!!

I don't think it's a tricky situation at all, I think it just seems incredibly tricky when you're stuck in the middle of it.  While I can understand all the focus of attention stuff and all, at the end of the day it's no big deal to take your baby to a baby-shower!  She just needs to get over that and be a grown-up about it.  In my books, babies are welcome at baby-showers, but guys aren't unless it's a couples thing rather than a girly event.  And I don't think it's fair of your family to tell you what to do about it either - make up your own mind about what to do, and stick to it, because maybe it's more important that you get to make this choice yourself (whatever you choose - it's not like one choice is great and the other terrible, they both look perfectly reasonable to me), rather than have your family do it for you and tell you what you'll be doing on the day!