Need advice for a friend (very complex)
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Topic: Need advice for a friend (very complex)
Posted By: kebakat
Subject: Need advice for a friend (very complex)
Date Posted: 10 November 2007 at 8:37pm
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Before you read this. It's terribly complex so its pretty long.
My friend D is being blackmailed and she has no idea what to do. That's the short of it anyway. Now for the longer version.. My old best mate H is D's older sis. D ran away from home and went and lived with H. H got preggers when she was 19 to this low life. She never really outright said but I don't believe she consented to sex with him. I just got that feeling from things she said to me and the way she spoke about him etc. H ended up getting a restraining order against this guy. She never told him she was preggers. H had a lot of health issues and was fairly well off so she moved over to Hawaii when she was about 5 months preggers because she wanted to get away from a lot of things. D went with her. H's health suffered greatly throughout the pregnancy, the meds she really needed to take she wouldn't take them due to the risks to the baby. She had A, A was sooo cute.. anyways H ended up passing away when A was only 4 months old. D (she almost 17 at the time) decided she was going to raise A. H had left everything to D so she had everything she would need to do it well. D had started developing a relationship with Nat while living back in NZ and D missed Nat terribly while in Hawaii and they decided together that D and A were going to come back to NZ and they would have a real go at the relationship. And as a little side note. Nat is a chick, so lesbian relationship. D moved back, her and Nat really fell for each other and were living together, got engaged etc. They are the best couple ever. A is doing wonderfully etc. Nat got offered a fantastic career opportunity in the USA (California) so all 3 moved over there and they have lived there about 6 months now. A is now 3. So has been living under D's care for 2 and 1/2 yrs now. Now for the crap.. The low life has found out about A. He's also found out that D and A inherited a fair amount from H. He's blackmailing D telling her that if she doesnt pay him a certain amount of money that he is gonna go for custody and have her up on kidnapping. And he's smart enough to say it verbally rather than writing it to her so she has no proof that this is what he is doing. I have no idea what to tell her. I don't think the kidnapping thing would actually get anywhere because it was decided between H and D that A go to D. However, I have no clue about the custody thing... She's seeking advice on Monday from a lawyer but in the mean time is stressing out big time. The only helpful thing I could say is make sure if he calls her that the conversation is recorded but I really don't know what else to tell her 
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Replies:
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 10 November 2007 at 8:49pm
Wow!  What a t**ser! I think shes doing the right thing seeking help from a lawyer- obviously once she knows where she stands legally then she'll be in a better position. Do you know if H had a will and if it specified anything about custody in it? If it is written rather than a verbal agreement that would help her position. I think the provious restraining order would help too- I would suggest D getting another one out him him now which would also help if it comes to battling for custody. Plus it means he can't contact her which will might help her stress levels!
I really doubt that any court would take a child off the only parents hes ever known at 3 years old! Especially if it was the birth mothers wishes. Maybe Bombshell can shed a bit more light from a legal standpoint. Hopefully this loser loses interest and leaves them alone- what a prat. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 10 November 2007 at 8:53pm
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I hadn't thought of telling to her to get a restraining order against him!
I know H had a will, but I don't think it was totally up to date. I'm sure that the agreement of D to raise A was verbal only. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 10 November 2007 at 8:54pm
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well it sounds like she is doing the right thing by seeing a lawyer. and if she has docs etc granting her custody of A then she has nothing to worry about ... i think that if he is a real low life that he prob wouldnt go past just threats cause he wouldnt really want a 3 yr old living with him...! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 11 November 2007 at 9:17am
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feel free to get her to call or email me - PM me for details...
BUT if they live central north island (or did) then I have a feeling someone has talked to me about this one before.....a year or so ago possibly? |
Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 11 November 2007 at 9:27am
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Is the prat named on the birth certificate of A???
I hope that D was given guardianship of A thru a will... otherwise it may be messy...  to your poor friend. What a horrible situation to be in.
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 12 November 2007 at 4:28pm
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yah I was gonna say that too...if Dad's name is not on B Cirtificate then the S^@!# Face will have to to get a test done and I doubt that that will be easy thing to do.
But I am sure that Bombshell would have given you good advice...let us know what happened?! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 12 November 2007 at 11:16pm
i have no advice at all but what a horrible situation for D to be in! poor thing must be beside herself with worry
------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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