Discipline
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=12629
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Topic: Discipline
Posted By: Kellz
Subject: Discipline
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 5:05pm
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Is Isla too young(13 months) to use a variation of the SuperNappy naughty stool method,...ie- get down to her level,...use a stern voice to say what we dont like about what shes done,...then remove her from the area- corner of lounge- where she can still see me,...ignore for 1 min,..then go back to her and say eg."mummy put you here cos you bit mummy and its not nice to bite,",..then hugs.
She seems to get the message! But is she too young? And is there something else that I should do instead? ETA- I do not want to bite her back which has been sugested to me 
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Replies:
Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 5:13pm
| I will be interested in what other people say to this. I have been wondering about discipline things for this age too. |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 5:29pm
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sorry to lurk i know i cant comment as i dont have a child yet but for that age at work.. we didn't put them in time out(cant at preschool) but we did do similar and if i was at home I would have.. as you say we got down to their level and said 'We don't bite each other at preschool, please be nice to your friends' and removed them from the play and then showered attention on the other child.. we would go back and see them after 1 min and talk to them about what they had done..even very young they seemed to understand.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 5:48pm
| Thanks Kaww. Yeah Isla seems to defiantley know that I am not happy with her,..she burts into tears. It doesnt stop her doing it again tho, but I guess nothing will at that age! But if we are consistant she will recoginse when we not happy with what shes done. |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 5:52pm
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yeah that is exactly what they teach us at college and what seems to work with under 2's (did that for 4 years) ...i feel weird answering this topic when I don't have a baby yet:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 6:15pm
| Kellz - jake bit a lot and mum bit him back. he laughed at her then smacked her in the face. she never bit him back again. he eventually grew out of it. we started time out for him at about 18months - the plunket lady suggested it and it worked really well. |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 6:43pm
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yeah before that is a little young for time out..but still removing them etc works.. I'm not a fan of biting back either..it's a normal developmental stage.. will have to talk to my Mum about it and she believes in biting them back.. :( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 6:52pm
I think you're doing fine Kellz. When Hannah was that age I didn't do the whole talk thing but I would put her in the hallway (with a firm voice) and she could come back when she was going to be better behaved. Of course repeat actions got repeat consequences and she didn't like it much  Just stay consistent  -------------  |
Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 7:07pm
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She is defintely not too young! if she is giving you "that look" then definitely carry on with what you are doing!
Good Job! ------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 7:09pm
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What I do with Rhyley if he hits or head butts is say No very stern and place him away from me and not talk to him - look away - for a 20 seconds (this seems a long time to him and me) and then if he does it again i will say No again and get up and walk away. It hasn't totally worked in the fact that he still does it but it stops it at the time - hes only 1 so don't expect something to work first pop. ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 7:52pm
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Kellz, DD has started biting too (14 months) and pulling my hair - it's her favourite game and she calls it 'ow' and laughs. We are trying something similar, but she just laughs at us and thinks it's all a game. It's like she doesn't get it that we don't like what she's doing...am not sure what else to do, but hoping consistency will win out. So hard to keep it up when it doesn't seem to have any effect though! ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 8:27pm
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when i was nanying in states my youngest charge watched her brother getting time out...we had a chair in dining room away but close to other rooms, and set the kitchen timer and he came out and apologised when timer went off. Well at 12 months old she watched this - he got a few time outs! One day she was naughty and i told her off quite sternly...she marched herself to the chair, got on it and sat there looking serious...I was sooo taken aback and trying hard not to laugh (or cry) and set timer for 20 secs and when it went off she jumped down and came told me sorry....I tell you my eyes leaked!
she comletely understood what is right and wrong and what the method was....at 12 months! I Will never forget that! 
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 8:40pm
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What is wrong with DD then?? It really annoys me when she just laughs at me when I talk to her sternly (low voice, at her level etc.). Although she probably does know what she's doing is wrong because she watches me while she does it and laughs. Maybe she just likes the attention and I need to do more with her during the day...something to think about. Have been so tired lately I think I've been letting her down with that one. ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 8:40pm
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We used the stern voice with Andrew from about that age. We got the timeout spot from about 18 months. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 8:50pm
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Mazzy - Rhyley laughs at me too and goes to do it again - thats when i have to walk away - and thats what he doesn't want me to do so its easier for me to walk away than trying to get him to stay away (it just wouldn't happen) ------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 8:56pm
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Good point Ann, I think I will give that tactic a try and see what happens. ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 9:11pm
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Yeah I think definatley the ingoring part will work best for you Mazzy. When I put Isla in the corner of the room, even tho Im only a few metres away where she can see me, I sit half facing away from her, and pick up a book or something so she can see Im ingnoring her. Maybe you need to pick her up and put her by the door or something, then walk down the hall or next room etc, so that shes not getting the attention she wants from doing the hair pulling etc.
Also I remeber Super Nanny always reinforced to the parents that the other side of the naughty stool thing is postive praise,...praisng the child often, and being positive, giving lots of attention when they are doing things well, being good etc,...then removing this when they do something you dont like. Good luck! Thanks everyone for all your comments! Edited to change spelling from 'Super Nappy' to 'Super Nanny'! Lol! Opps! |
Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 9:19pm
Hee hee - super nappy! Sorry, had to giggle. Thanks Kellz, will be trying a combo of all of that. Will see how it goes! ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Kellz wrote:Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 9:21pm
| Lol! Im a dork! |
Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 9:27pm
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Good thread Kellz I have also been wondering what to do with James. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 9:31pm
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I think your doing fine. I use a firm voice on Alize and he responses really well to being off. I think he understands the whole cocept as he sees his sister getting told off and he tries to put his stern voice on and get all mouthy with me telling them off lol.. Kellz I think she will response really well, ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 9:46pm
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Elle either laughs and keeps doing it or she totally ignores me until I remove her from the situation. If I say "stop", she laughs and starts running in the direction she knows I don't want her to go. When I take her by the hand to lead her in the right direction she has a total meltdown and struggles and cries. If she's in the kitchen she'll head for the rubbish bin saying "no, yuck" but will dig into it anyway and keep trying to go back to it.
So I'm not help...we have a very cheeky & determined little mite on our hands! She seems quite defiant although that word sound a little harsh for a 15mth old. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 9:53pm
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Caitlin is such a lil madam! She knows what she's not allowed to do (like put her hands on the oven or play with the stereo (Daddy's toys lol) she even says "NO!" when she does it!
The only thing that works with her is telling her no and removing her from the situation, then distracting her. I've tried a couple of times to do Time Out or stand in the corner for 30 seconds thing and I swear it was more trouble than it was worth and I got more rilled up from trying to keep her there than I ever was over her touching stuff she knows she shouldn't! I think time out would work better when they understand consequence. Knowing right from wrong is a whole different skill IMO. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 29 November 2007 at 9:58pm
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Teehee, Gabrielle has learned how to say a sentence that sounds just like a telling off. It always starts with "no, no do dat" and then she adds in a little bit of gibberish but uses inflections in all the right places. It is so cute but it may be sign that we talk that way too often!!! LOL
I find she gets upset if I try to do time out, I guess 'cause she senses I'm really angry (internally) so I prefer the walk away method for now. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 01 December 2007 at 4:08pm
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Another thing is to show her how to be nice. We used to stroke Jack or the cat and say 'nice and gentle' and then so whenever he was going in for a bite or hit we would grab his hand and say make him stroke and say nice and gentle. Then he would get lots of praise for being nice and gentle. It wasn't long before he picked it up.
At more 18 months time out worked wonders for his biting. but we had to put him in an area (the hallway) where there was nothing to do and he couldn't get out of. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 01 December 2007 at 4:56pm
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Hannah was a biter. Finally has grown out of it!!!! Yay.
Anyway, like everyone else, removing from the situation and ignoring seemed to work well for us. Just generally not rewarding her with attention for bad behaviour as well as firmly telling her that biting really hurts. I think like Liz, I introduced time out around 18 months... I think. Anyway, I remember it worked well. |