separation anxiety
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=12691
Printed Date: 01 November 2025 at 2:17am
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Topic: separation anxiety
Posted By: Mum2ET
Subject: separation anxiety
Date Posted: 03 December 2007 at 8:44am
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At what age did your babies become Ok with you leaving them with other people? Since she was 3 months I have tried leaving Ella with my Mum for an hr every week so that she can get used to spending time alone with my Mum (she also sees her in the weekend while I am there)....but she always cries and grizzles the entire time. Even if I leave the room for a minute then starts crying as soon as I leave the room. At first I wasn't too worried about it, as I figured that she will eventually get used to it....... but I am starting part-time work in early Jan and will be leaving her at homebased care during that time I am really worried about how she is going to cope. For those of you who work, how long did it take for your baby to adjust to being with a child minder? and is there anything that you did to help make the transition a bit easier? At the moment she doesn't have a comfort toy (just her thumb ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Replies:
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 03 December 2007 at 2:07pm
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Ella was fine from day one...and only rarely (very!) does she drop a lip when i go to leave....actually would be nice once in a while!!!
I never waved bye bye to her tho - altho we do now...and she waves back!!! I think it is more about having faith that they will get over it once you go.... I had a mum talk to me in tears at DC a few weeks back about her 18 month old being soooo upset at her leaving...I went in to room to drop Ella and this kid was dancing on the stage singing and no tears anymore...I felt like running after her mum and telling her to watch - she was talking about taking her outta DC cause the bubba wasnt coping etc etc..... |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 03 December 2007 at 8:27pm
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Right now Ella hasn't learnt that when things disappear they don't always come back but she will learn that in the next couple of months so even tho she won't be too pleased with you leaving she will be fine after a few minutes because she will know you will be back. Make sure you say bye to her and don't run away when shes not looking.
Although this is what I have read, I don't have any personal experience sorry. |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 03 December 2007 at 8:41pm
| yeah must admit i still take off when she isnt looking a lot too...she is so happily playing and could care less whether i am leaving or not so I dont rub it in....she knows what DC is all about |
Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 04 December 2007 at 8:36am
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I hope she learns soon that once I leave I will come back- it is so heartbreaking to hear that she is crying the whole time. I could handle if I knew once I left she was fine and happy again.... ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 04 December 2007 at 1:24pm
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For those of you who work, how long did it take for your baby to adjust to being with a child minder?
I returned back to work part time when Gina was a few weeks old, however I don't have her at DC - my gran takes care of her. Gina was OK with it from the start. and is there anything that you did to help make the transition a bit easier? We made sure Gina had spent time with gran before we left them alone for a whole day ie I'd leave them together in the room and just go and do something else in another room. So Gina got used to being alone with gran. We've only ever had family baby-sit her and she's familiar with them so that has been OK too. At the moment she doesn't have a comfort toy (just her thumb ), but I was thinking about getting her something with my scent on it to give her comfort when I am not there. Gina has a 'comfort' bee rattle that goes with her everywhere - not sure if it helps or not. 
....any other suggestions? Maybe try playing together - all 3 of you - and when she's happy and distracted, leave the room then. Maybe try for short periods at first so Ella will realise you're coming back, then build up on that. Good luck  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 04 December 2007 at 8:21pm
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When we were looking at putting Isla into daycare or homecare to give me a few hrs break a week, they suggested that for a baby it needs to be 2 hrs twice a week, as they forget week to week. One hour once a week doesnt sound like enough to get her used to it. I would try twice a week. Have a routinue where u tale to her when u packing her back, getting ready etc so she can learn to know whats happening next.
Also play lots of peek-a-boo games with her. She still doesnt have the consept that when something can not be seen, its not actually gone forever. |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 04 December 2007 at 8:41pm
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Andrew was always (and still is) a bit funny when we drop him off at daycare. Some days he went as happy as and then we have days that we have to run out and leave him crying. Best thing is to get that attachment with your mum now, maybe seeing throughout the week as well and you giving Ella to your mum and you just going to get a drink or something out of her sight. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |