Not sure how I feel
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13142
Printed Date: 19 August 2025 at 9:12am
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Topic: Not sure how I feel
Posted By: Gracielou
Subject: Not sure how I feel
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 10:36am
I haven't posted for awhile, but need to release some of the feelings I'm having. I found out this morning that I'm pregnant. This was not planned, and as aweful as this sounds not something I wanted, but I also believe that what is meant to be will be. But I just don't know how I'll cope with 3 kids, I'm not coping very well with 2. And I know the rest of the family won't be impressed. Sorry for the rambling, I just needed to get it off my chest.------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 10:50am
I think that it's rude of your family to not be supportive and to make you feel that you have to justify it being unplanned!  I think once you get your head around it, it won't be so bad. How does your DH feel? You might want to keep it close for a couple of weeks until you adjust.
As for not coping - 2 and then 3 can be hard alright but there are heaps of groups and activities etc. Did you want to put your eldest into kindy next year so you can have time out when needed? -------------  |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 10:52am
 Debbie!
Don't worry what the rest of the family think, at the end of the day they will love this new little one just as much as they love your other two, regardless of what their opinions are about it initially. Things have a way of working out and I've seen for myself just how much you and your DH love Jasmine and Stephanie. You are a wonderful mum and your gorgeous girls are an awesome testament to how well you're doing. You still have 8 or so months to get used to the idea of being mum to 3 and I've been told it is easier going from 2-3 than from 1-2. If you ever need a friend to chat to or some time out, I'm just around the corner. Congratulations too chick, it will be ok!! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 10:55am
Hugs Debbie! Maybe once you've had a bit of time to get used to the idea, it will feel better. Hope that your family support you as well. And congrats.  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Gracielou
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 11:09am
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Thanks guys for the support, it feels better too release it. Its starting to sink in. When I told bruce (hes at work but thats a new post) he was in shock and his first words were "if you want to get rid of it I'll support you" but as I said he was in shock. I'm starting to think that a spirit wants to be born and it has chosen me to be its mother and thats a huge honor.
And I'll take you up on your offer Mel, after the silly season we really need to get together, those park morning "thingies" would be fun for everyone. -------------
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 11:32am
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Hugs Debbie! I can relate to how you're feeling, I had many of the same feelings myself when those two horrid blue lines came up. And Willie's answer was similar to Bruce's - "it's not the right time, we should get rid of it". That was never an option for me, but he's slowly coming around, I even managed to get him to look at the u/s pics.
I still have my moments of wondering how the heck I'm going to cope, but I found out how I really felt about this pregnancy when I had a week of spotting and had to have a scan to check on baby, even tho I thought I'd be ok with losing baby I was so happy to see that heartbeat on the screen. More big hugs! Looks like we are going to have babies born a few weeks apart again! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Gracielou
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 11:47am
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I did think of you Emma, so I now know how you felt. And it looks like our kiddlies will be very close in age. I have no idea how far along I am, AF still hasn't returned since having Steph, so will have to get a dating can done after the silly season. And I think Bruce was in total shock, we'll have to have a good talk when he gets home. -------------
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Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 1:03pm
| Big hugs and congratulations.I'm sure everything will work out |
Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 1:18pm
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oh debbie that is such surprising news for you all right! i like the way you are thinking, very positively. i am sure things will settle with the girls, in time for the new arrival. for what its worth my dh reacted very similar when i told him i was pregnant with xanthe, and he is the most besotted dad to her you could imagine. i am sure once it becomes real to your dh he will step up and be a fantastic support to you. why do you think your family will not offer support to you? i hope they do.
------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe - my big 4 year old 
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 2:48pm
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aww Debbie... I sure at the moment you don't welcome my comment but THATS COOL NEWS... now 's to you. I don't know how I would feel if I got pregnant now as I am so not ready but as you said if its meant to be its meant to be. I have got to know you on this board (mainly thru our november mums and bubs) and for what its worth I think you are an amazing mother. your kids always look happy in the photos and what about making all those nappies now only a 'supermum' could do that and look after 2 little kiddies. ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: Gracielou
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 3:45pm
Thanks Ann and Lyla, you guys are great Bruce is home know and we've had a chat, he's had the day to think it over and is actually keen on having another one, but he said he'll support me whichever way I want to go. But our family was obviously supposed to have another member to it. And it does mean I get to sew a lot more teeny weeny nappies … 
We're going to keep it to ourselves (so you guys heard nothing right?) until I have a scan and see how far I am, then we'll tackle the family as a team. I know they'll support us but it will be a surprise, I don't want to tell mum as she gave me one long speech when Steph was born about how a 3rd would be a really bad idea. -------------
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 7:00pm
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------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Smartmum
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 7:21pm
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You only found out this morning, it's only fair that you have a bit of shock, but i see your husband is supporting this, so that is the most important factor. Like you say, your family was meant to have 3 and this is the easy way about deciding when to do it...NOW!
Your mum was probably just worried and thought she was helping by giving you a speech, but you know what, We ALL COPE! Yup it might get difficult, financially restricting etc etc ( whatever her worries were) but so many people make do....and you know when they all grow up and come to your place for xmas lunch, it will be a nice big family gathering ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 22 December 2007 at 11:11pm
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You will have 3 kiddies who will enjoy growing up together. It might be hard in the beginning but well worth it in the long run. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 23 December 2007 at 6:17am
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I have no advice to offer but I do hope that the rest of the family gets past the surprise and be supportive and happy to welcome in a new member of the family!
Big hugs and Big Congratulations to you!!!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 23 December 2007 at 8:28am
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Wow - that 's big news and I wanna congratulate you! OK now if you're not in a place for receiving congrats, then just give my post the big finger, remind yourself that I've never been in your shoes and ignore it! I also want to send you great big hugs, because that sure is big news and a lot to adjust to. BTW - that seems pretty mean timing for your mum to give you a speech on the merits of having a 3rd child! Ouch. I hope she sees it differently now that it's a reality. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 23 December 2007 at 11:58am
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Debbie, I don't have any advice only to say that I have had to deal with unwanted/unplanned preg before and it takes a bit of getting used to which ever way you choose to go. I sure with the support of you hubby you both will have the strength and support to get thru this suprise. Enjoy your family Christmas and deal with this when you are ready, congratulations ------------- Kerryn, Mum to Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09) |
Posted By: emachan
Date Posted: 23 December 2007 at 11:08pm
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Debbie, everyone else has said what I would've said, if I had got to this post sooner.
I know that you will have a few things to think about in the next few days, but look on the bright side, it may have not been planned, but a new baby will come soon and it will be the best thing ever! Your mum isn't you, so don't let her make YOUR decision! Hope that you have a great christmas! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD#1 Sept 08 DD#2 Oct 09 |