how to tell
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1327
Printed Date: 01 October 2025 at 6:16am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: how to tell
Posted By: james
Subject: how to tell
Date Posted: 04 January 2006 at 4:51pm
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my little boys sprem doner wants nothing too do with his son hasnt even seen him and hes almost 7 months i dont even no how too tell him please any seggestions too make this easry will be much apperatied ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Replies:
Posted By: crazy_crazy
Date Posted: 04 January 2006 at 8:27pm
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bash him ------------- http://www.youngnutrition.net"> 
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Posted By: crazy_crazy
Date Posted: 04 January 2006 at 8:33pm
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mot james his father lmao ------------- http://www.youngnutrition.net">
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 04 January 2006 at 11:13pm
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My daughter is 14 months old and has no father. I have no idea where he is and he doesn't know she exists.
I figure I will wait until she asks. Don't think you have to worry about this for a couple of years. And who knows, you may have found a new partner by then??? |
Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 05 January 2006 at 6:03am
| I said from little, but I think wait untill he can understand... 4-5? |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 05 January 2006 at 7:03am
| I agree with Nikki. If I was in that situation I think I would just wait til he asked and then deal with it. |
Posted By: crazy_crazy
Date Posted: 05 January 2006 at 12:28pm
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i still still say bash the father over the head but thats only coz hes my nephew heheh ------------- http://www.youngnutrition.net">
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Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 05 January 2006 at 12:32pm
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Me too, I agree with Nikki. When he asks then tell him. Who knows, by then his dad may have grown some balls and it won't be an issue. ------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 05 January 2006 at 1:10pm
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Yep, or you might have found a new partner who is prepared to be his Dad in which case it won't be an issue.
My friend's little girl is nearly 3 and her Dad has seen her twice - at 6 weeks, and again when she was 2 1/2. It broke my friends heart, after the last time he came she was sure he wouldn't be able to ignore his daughter any more, but he never came back. In some ways tho, I think it's better to have a Dad that's not involved at all than one who comes and goes at random. Before Willie and I got back together I would never tell Maya when he said he was coming over, because he often didn't show up and she would have been so disappointed. If he had never been involved in the first place, she would have grown up to accept that as normal. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 06 January 2006 at 9:39am
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Yeah in some ways I think Hannah is lucky. No expectations.
I would like to know where he is though so I could bash him over the head. So maybe you could consider that as an option??? |
Posted By: tania4
Date Posted: 06 January 2006 at 9:48am
My 5 year old daughter has had no contact from her father since she was 1.I am happily married now and she calls my hubby(who is the father of my 10yr old,long story)Dad..then out of the blue we recieved a letter saying 'father' wants dna tests i was sssooo mad.Went to a lawyer and she says he has left it too long and if he pushes it then he will have to pay for lawyers and tests.We think he is just trying to get out of paying child support(how selfish!!)anyway we told my daughter that she has a dad that made her and she told my hubby that he is the number one dad Dont think she quite understands whats going on but you really have to judge how much your child will understand and go from there
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 06 January 2006 at 10:01am
kool guys thanks it helps too no there r outher people out there with the same prob nicki my sis and u have the same idea would be nice (give him he bash) but hes that type of guy too go running to the cops and i not going too jail for him i think my boy is better of with out him he has his grandada and uncles so that will do for now ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 06 January 2006 at 12:47pm
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Hi there my boys havent seen their dad since 27th Nov 2004 - just after they turned 1 and even then it was only a couple times in the previous 6 months. He keeps saying he wants to see them although havnt heard from him in about 4 mths and got sh*tty at me when i told him that i have no expectations of him therefore cannot get upset when he doenst do what he says hes going to. I find it really sad that all these guys out there can just cruise along with their lives not giving a crap about the little ones they are abandoning. Anyway back onto the topic i talked to a professional this year about the boys dad as there were other issues like violence, cheating and alcohol probs (all his i might add) and we talked about what i tell the boys and when and i was told to tell the truth basically and to not put down the dad yet say i didnt like his behaviour and to start telling them when they are old enough to start asking questions - usually when they head off to school.
Hope all my ramblings make sense lol ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 06 January 2006 at 12:58pm
It breaks my heart when I hear these stories of little bubs with no dads  My dad died when I was very little so I know what it's like to be fatherless - and I can't say it's very nice. I remember asking Santa every year for my daddy to come back from heaven, then when I knew that couldn't happen I used to wish that I had a new dad that was just like my old dad. While my mum did a wonderful job raising me and my brother, there is certainly a gaping hole where a dad should have been. It took me a long time to be able to have a healthy and loving relationship with a man - I kept expecting them to b*gger off, or not be around as that was what I was used to. I would love to shake these men and make them see what damage can be done to children who miss out on their dads. It's like a whole generation of men just decided to upsticks and b*gger off. Grrrrrr ------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 06 January 2006 at 2:00pm
On the positive side... Zeke is out playing with Hannah now while I waste away the beautiful sunny day on here 
Went to a friend's house in Nelson and her Dad was talking to Zeke who told him that he wa my boyfriend. He assumed that Hannah was Zeke's and when Zeke corrected him he just laughed it off and said "She's yours now too mate" hehehe |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 06 January 2006 at 2:00pm
And funnily enough that didn't scare him off. He's actually been closer to her than ever since then 
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Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 06 January 2006 at 2:41pm
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Oooh, he's a lovely boy Nikki ------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 06 January 2006 at 3:22pm
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Keep him Nikki! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 06 January 2006 at 3:26pm
Yep totally agree Emma! He sounds lovely Nikki. Hows it all going then?! (Nosey, nosey... ) ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 06 January 2006 at 7:08pm
| Dammit, i should've asked to have seen a photo at Te Papa Nikki!! I was being on my best behaviour however. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 06 January 2006 at 9:16pm
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hahaha I hated him at that stage. (Well not 'hate' I guess, but I wasn't very comlimentary!! )
Had issues with him being an only child and not very willing to help out in my family situations, when I have been brought up to always pitch in. Had a word to him about it and it's going very well now. I feel I am learning a lot about relationships. (Have been an absolute screw-up with guys up until now) Had a great holiday together and I have kidnapped him for the two weeks until he goes back to work. We've even come to a compromise about the internet - I get to spend time on OhBaby and he is allowed to play Stick Cricket. hehehehe |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 06 January 2006 at 9:22pm
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Nikki!! Zeke sounds like a keeper! Go you!!!! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 07 January 2006 at 10:32am
| stick cricket?? |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 07 January 2006 at 10:54am
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thanks guy preggy sunflower u almost made me cry i agree that its prob hard without a dad but as i said he does have his grandfather and uncles so its not that bad sometime i feel like finding him and yelling but that would be talkig to my self and you never no i might find a man(not a boy likes james,s dad) so theres always hope all my friends family no all about what happen i am very open about it but i dont want my baby being hurt or felling negetled i have a counis in the same sution and he turned out fine my uncle just filled the roll of dad and before he came along my pop did so i say its takes a man too raise a kid and they dont have too be he sperm doner ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 07 January 2006 at 5:58pm
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Lizzle... geeky internet online games. apparently the whole law firm (that Zeke works at... no names) uses client $$$ trying to better their score on games like 'Heli Attack'
I think Zeke has been getting crap at work for being unco ordinated at Stick Cricket and has decided to use half his holidays building up his skills so that he can wow them when he goes back to work. (Hmmmm... future of New Zealand?!?) |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 09 January 2006 at 1:11pm
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LMAO!!! Glad to see it's the important things keeping them busy... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 09 January 2006 at 4:52pm
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ok loseing the plot here guys ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 09 January 2006 at 5:03pm
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ooops! LOL, haven't you noticed that it always happens here James? Sorry! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 09 January 2006 at 8:07pm
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thats ok i have notice its funnyzc ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |