I want to stop breastfeeding....
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Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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Topic: I want to stop breastfeeding....
Posted By: Lisha
Subject: I want to stop breastfeeding....
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 7:36am
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I am thinking of stopping altogether and going onto formula. Zoe has had a great start to life, she was a whopping 10lbs 10oz and now is nearly 12lbs and is only 1 month old. She is gaining alot of weight rapidly, and is a healthy wee bubba.
The thing is that we are having major issues with her wind as I am lying down to feed her. Using infacol all the time. I know that formula feeding her won't stop the wind. 
Zoe is so different to Lucy who was a boob hog and breastfeed perfect, Zoe on the other hand is really fussy, and has just started to refuse the breast and this makes it really stressful for me and I know that she knows when I am stressed. She takes the bottle fine, so going to give it a trial run today. But why am I feeling so guilty for wanting to make this change? I have good milk flow, just a fussy baby. I know that there are tons of woman out there that can't breastfeeding, and I am giving up!  I am not worried that we won't have a close bond as we do already.------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 8:24am
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(((hugs))) Lisha, you need to do what you think is best for you and bubs, and i know that people say breast is best, but i stop bf Rhiannon after 4 wks and there is nothing wrong with her at all.
As for the feeling guilty i think thats just a natural feeling that most if not all mothers go through when it comes to deciding whether to breastfeed or not. Good luck today, i hope it all goes well ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 8:50am
Thanks so much! so nice to hear that others are the same out there! **big hugs** to you too! How is the pregnancy going?  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 8:56am
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Have you thought of expressing and giving that to bubs?? ------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 9:08am
| i guess you have to decide to either feel guilty or be unhappy and personally i think you will get over the guilty feeling quicker than being unhappy, i know i did. You gave it a go, again more than i did and Zoe is not going to suffer if you stop. Just do what you feel comfortable. My only piece of advice is if you do decide to stop, dont let anyone make you feel bad, be confident in your decision and know you are doing whats right for you all. First time round with Kobe i let people make me feel horrible about it, with Addison I was happy with my decision, i knew she wouldnt suffer and i was just a lot more positive about it. |
Posted By: ShellandBella
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 9:17am
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And the guilt does pass...I felt awful when I gave up breastfeeding, but it was more about how I felt, and not how Bella was. Zoe will thrive either way ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 10:05am
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That's a thought. Got a breastpump from TM that doesn't even work, might have to get an electric one. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: floss
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 10:20am
| Big hugs I have just given up expessing for Noah & Lola mainly cos they both have reflux and needed the thickend formula, but I had the major guilts till I realised that I'm less stressed and they are much more happier with a less stressed mum, so don't feel bad she is going to thrive either way. |
Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 10:21am
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These days formulas are so close to breast milk that there is minimal difference, the guilt passes if you deal with it and you are stopping for yourself and not doing what other people feel you should do. It's not giving up or failing it making a positive decision. You could express and if you want to do that long term then from my experience an electric pump and a good book are the way to go, Neil used to laugh about me going to the 'dairy' each time I disappeared to express.
I hope whichever way you go that you end up with happy baby and most importantly a happy you, as one will lead to the other Edited as English appears to be my second language today  ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 10:26am
Haha, yeah off to milk the cows is what my sister in law used to say!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 10:40am
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I want to stop bfeeding too and the guilt I feel is unbearable when my son is tugging at my top and trying to flip himself sideways at my boob (hence why I am still feeding ) . I think deciding to give up at any age for any reason is a guitly process. Try not to beat yourself up tho, you are doing what is right for you and yours! Like Claire said, Happy mum=happy baby and vice verser ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 10:42am
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I am seeing my MW for the last time next week, do I tell her or just leave it? nervous about telling her! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 10:48am
Thanks for your support all the same  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 10:54am
Um no that is not true sorry Anyway like what Robyn said don't let anyone make you feel guilty, be proud that you have grown her this big. |
Redbedrock wrote:Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 11:06am
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Liasha, if you really want to stop and are not wanting to talk about other ways to try and address the issues, then maybe don't tell the MW, just in case she is one who is really antoi formula. If she isn't then maybe tell her and she can suggest which ones to try (that might help with wind etc).
If you are still in 2 minds then discuss it with the MW to see what options she can come up with to address the issue. in the end whatever you do has to work for you both. While I am now hugely pro breastfeeding, that is because it works well for me, I don't believe in people feeling bad for wanting to do the best for their babies (which sometimes means doing the best for themselves). -------------  
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 11:09am
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I expressed full time for a while, I started with an avent manual pump (that i had bought to the odd bit of expressing) and then when I stopped latching him altogether I got a medela double electric one from breastmates. It worked really well and only took 10mins to express. I learnt to balance the bottles on my knees so I could read my book...haha.
I did feel really guilty when I stopped but it was the best decision and I know feel good about it and that i did the right thing by stopping. Breastmilk is better than formula but I think it is less important that having a happy healthy mummy. Oh and with the midwife, I would talk to her she may have some suggestions for you and hopefully she will be supportive and if not who cares you won't be seeing her for much longer. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: babyg
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 11:40am
Power to all Mummies - Breastfeeding or not  ------------- Ev, Mum to: Carys Ruby - 4 October 2007 Spencer James - 2 July 2010 |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 12:28pm
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Lisha what is your midwifes opinion on bfing? I know my first midwife really pushed me too, but my midwife with addison was just like oh well you know whats right for you so just do what you feel comfortable doing. Your the one who has to do it so you need to be happy.
I was told by a paed doctor that the forumlas are perfectly fine for babies, close to breast milk and not going to do any harm. |
Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 1:37pm
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I have one big boob at the moment, should I be expressing this one and still giving it to her? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 1:45pm
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I would try not to express from it as you may end up producing more cos of taking more out of it. I would just keep swapping sides at feeds and hopefully it will settle down. If you are getting sore though just use a warm flannel or express a bit off in the shower. -------------
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Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 2:28pm
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I totally agree that happy mum=happy baby!!
I gave B/F a shot with Ethan for 3 weeks. This time around if b/f doesn't wor i'll be investing in a double electric pump so bubs still gets breast. Do what is best for you and best for bubs Lisha. Hugs. Try not to feel guilty either... Easier said than done i know LOL... ------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 3:20pm
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Feeling better this arvo, apart from my big boobie! Zoe is taking a bottle from adam as we speak ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 7:11pm
Yep it is, they are as close as it is possible to make them, nutritionally they give everything that baby needs, but obviously not exactly the same tho. It is not the same as giving straight cows milk as an alternative ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com">
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Posted By: 3boys
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 7:41pm
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I am not sure that I agree that BM and formula are very close. I have had both bottle and BF babies - and what comes out the other end can tell that they are very different!
Lisha - more power to you hun. The fussiness does pass as they get bigger and better and feeding and the wind goes away. You could try stopping in the middle of feeds several times to bring up the wind. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: 3boys
Date Posted: 05 January 2008 at 7:45pm
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Hey Lisha - one last thing. I would tell your MW. I would ring and talk to her before her visit - that is what she is there for. IF you had a good relationship she should respect your choices but most importantly she may be able to help.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 06 January 2008 at 9:19pm
No its not the same |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 06 January 2008 at 9:33pm
That's what I've started to do with Rowan - She's pretty windy but if I stop and burp her 10mins into her 20 min feed then she's not as bad (usually). But I agree with what the others have said - do what is best for you and the baby. There's no point being miserable because of other people's expectations. -------------  
 
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 06 January 2008 at 9:45pm
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Grr! Just wrote a longer response. But basically....
I don't have much to add except to tell you that when I made the decision to stop breastfeeding DD at 15 months because I wasn't enjoying it (she definitely still was!) I STILL felt guilty and sad. So I think it is something we all feel, regardless of timing or reasons for stopping. It sounds like you have a healthy, happy wee girl and I'm sure that won't change with your decision.
Good on you for breastfeeding for these first weeks, that's awesome. ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 06 January 2008 at 10:07pm
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Hey,
I had no choice but to give up feeding Cooper after 3 weeks, and I was absolutely guttered. I fed my other two kids for over a year. For some reason this time around my body couldn't do it. I felt let down and did everything I could to keep b/feeding, but he was losing weight and was in danger of "failing to thrive" which was even more gut wrenching. He enjoyed the bottle, he took it well, slept well, and started gaining weight. I tried medication, expressing all sorts. In the end I accepted the fact that the bottle/formula was the best for both of us. I didn't want the stress or the resentment anymore, as a result he's turned into a real chubba bubba. I guess what I'm saying is you have to do what's right for you and your daughter. It will hurt you more than it will hurt her (I mean emotionally) Also there are lots of other ways you will be able to bond with her too. I know I felt like a loser, even embarassed that I failed to feed my baby. But in the end I feel that I made the right decision, and now I look back and think that I should never have gone thru that stress in the first place. Good luck in your decision... ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: 3boys
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 2:26pm
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.Mel - I feel very sorry that you had to go through that agony. It is such a difficult decision.
I think Mazzy you are right - to doesn't matter when you stop it is always going to be hard. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 3:02pm
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I did a Uni paper that covered the difference between breastmilk and formula. Basically, formula has similar nutritional composition to breastmilk (fat, carb, protein) but does not have the antibodies. ------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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