The dummy debate
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13427
Printed Date: 14 September 2025 at 4:33pm
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Topic: The dummy debate
Posted By: porcelina
Subject: The dummy debate
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 3:18pm
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My little angel Ruby doesn't like going for a sleep in the day anymore and basically uses my boobs as a dummy. We have bought some dummies for sanity's sake (and my boobs' sake!!) and Ruby is in her cot happily sucking on one.
I guess I wanted to ask who is/has used dummies and how much of an issue has it been for anyone who has had to wean their child off having one? I don't know why I have such mixed feelings as I have worked in neonatal wards and seen how they can be a lifesaver for babies that won't settle well. How does everyone else feel about them? -------------   
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Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 3:22pm
| Daniel had a dummy at about the same age. We used it for naps. He eventually decided one day (at 2 and 1/2 months) that he didn't want it anymore. I don't think they are a big deal if you don't make them reliant on them. |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 3:27pm
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Josh had one for the same reason as you. He gave it up about 3 months old no problems. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 3:30pm
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I always said that Sam wasn't having one, but had the same problem and between a dummy and me, I choose the dummy. Sam still has it now, but it mainly stays in the cot as a bedtime thing.
It doesn't bother me the way I thought it would as it makes her contented and she sleeps better. If it becomes a problem in the future then the dummy fairy will have to pay her a visit  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: porcelina
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 3:32pm
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It's so good to hear that other parents have done the same thing for the same reason! Have already had the guilts over formula top-ups and don't need guilts over dummies too! So far no wails from her room which is great. -------------
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Posted By: bub
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 3:36pm
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Brianna had a dummy till she was about 2 1/2 as well it was only for bed time and in the car. one day i just decided to take it off her i just told her i forgot to get it from somewhere in your case shes alot younger and may wean herself off it if you decided to give it to her i dont think they are a problem i thort it was great. ------------- mother to Brianna, Amelia & Mathew. http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 3:37pm
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Everyone in my family is dead against dummies..but i have worked with many children and realise it's necessary for some children.. so i have one on hand just in case..I'm trying to do the my baby my choice thing... :) (if i tell myself this now when the time comes hopefully i wont feel too bad) so we will see how it goes..anyway I'm glad you posted this as I was interested in how others viewed this topic.. if he needs it i will be weaning him off young though as my friends 3 yr old just won't give hers up:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: mylilmosaic
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 3:53pm
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Hi guys, my son had a dummy from a week old and it was a life saver for my sanity especially when I was very sleep deprived. I had no problems weaning him off it as once he had chewed holes in it I just never replaced it and he didnt seem concerned about it. It always went in the fridge when he was up so it was only for sleep time, and this meant he was never reliant on it during the day when awake.
Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about your decisions especially when your child is so obviously happy 
One thing I have noticed with some children that use dummies is that they don't end up sucking their fingers, which in some cases seems to effect their teeth, my neice will need braces from thumb sucking. |
Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 4:27pm
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I offered Ella a dummy when she was a couple of weeks old but she refused to suck it, as I never bothered again. When she got to around 3 1/2 months she discovered her thumb and now sucks on it constantly (me & my brothers all sucked our thumbs when we were younger but have never had any teeth probs). ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 4:28pm
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Cooper was the same as Daniel, one day he spat it out and never took it again... You may find Ruby does the same thing...don't feel guilty either you do whats right for you and Ruby. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 4:31pm
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Paige had one and threw it away at around 6 months never to be seen needed again........
Blake had one from word go as unsettled baby...still has it for sleeps and SOMETIMES to calm him down now and then....I will throw it out when he is two if he hasnt already given it up..Dont believe all the nonsense about weaning them etc. Expecting a few days of grizzle.... unsettledness but no big deal! -------------  
 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 4:31pm
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I was dead against them too and now would not be without them. I read somewhere that most people have no problem with the concept of a dummy, its the concept of a 5yr old with a dummy that scares people!
Tom's stays in his bed or in the car (I also have one with me when we go out in case the proverbial sh*t hits the fan. His dummy is only for comfort when he is tired and at 4 months I think he realises, dummy means time to quieten down for sleep. |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 4:37pm
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We used a dummy for Paris, and not for Ayja. The problems we had with using a dummy for paris was that i didn't really have her own feeding cues etc downpacked when we introduced the dummy. As long as you are sure as sure that she's fed and full and just being a bit of a whinge then it's ok.
Just remember she's still at the age where she'll prob be having a few growth spurts, I remember the 6 - 9 weeks time being full of them for both my girls. We made rules about paris's one once she was a few months old, that it only be used for bed or for comforting when hurt or really upset, not just cos she liked to suck. This went well as she got older as we didn't have an issue with weaning, she was used to it only being for bed anyway and we already had a special cuddly toy she'd had for bed etc since really little so she still had one comfort thing. It's about putting boundaries on their use.. same as in neonatal units. In ours once they are big enough to be demand feeding - we encourage parents to not really use them so often, just feed instead. The other thing you could just re-check is that you are picking up on her sleep cues early on. We did the 1 hour turn around thing and always made sure they were back in bed before the hour was up, going to bed awake, despite them sometimes being bright-eyed and bushy tailed. If they didn't settle after 10 - 15 minutes I would get them back up for another 10 mins and see if they wanted a top-up then straight back to bed again. So easy to get them overtired without knowing. Sometimes they really do just need something to take their mind off the fact that they're supposed to go to sleep cos some kids will fight it like heck and just get crazy and dummies help break that cycle. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: porcelina
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 4:54pm
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We have our sleeping routines down well now, I can tell which cry is sleepy, hungry etc and she has set times in the day when she is tired and things. It's more of a case of being fed and clean and just wanting comfort feeds all the time, she will fall asleep snuggled into me or on the breast when full and cry anywhere else, I can't have her attached to me all the time or I will go mental! Sometimes she will lie there quietly but more often than not if she's awake she thinks she is missing out on something so won't tolerate being in her bed.
I know those growth spurts, she has been having up to 200ml formula bottle at night plus what's in my boobs which is a lot for a little baby - I think she will pop but she keeps it down well, so it really is a mummy is my dummy attitude I think. We are hoping to just use it for her day naps so I can have a little time to myself and she can have a snooze so she can grow  -------------
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Posted By: NikkiB
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 5:07pm
I was also dead against using a dummy and thought they were 'dirty' (I think my mother drummed that into me  ). But we introduced a dummy to Rex when he was about 6 weeks old for the same reasons as you. I only used it in his cot. The way I looked at it, I had a quiet content baby rather than a crying baby - I felt better and I'm sure Rex felt a lot better too. When I realised this, I was much happier about using the dummy. As Rex got a little bit older, I stopped using the dummy when I put him to bed and only used it if he doesn't settle. Now I only seem to use it at night when (every so often) he wakes too early and I know he can sleep for longer.
I also found that the hour turn around time help to reduce the use of the dummy ------------- A very lucky mummy to two gorgeous boys: RB 3/10/2008 JB 29/12/2009 |
Posted By: ShellandBella
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 5:11pm
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Yup, we use a dummy too. Only for in the cot or when Bella is overtired and we're out and about (we never use it to 'shut her up')
My sister has had children that have used both - dummy and thumb and she is finding that her 3 year old won't stop sucking her thumb, but the other girls (who had a dummy) just stopped one day. I always say, at least you can take a dummy away but you can't chop off their thumb! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 5:15pm
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Both my bubs have had dummies and Benjy still has his for sleeps or special circumstances.
I'm the same as Kelpa, if he hasn't ditched it before then we'll get rid of it at age 2. With Ella it wasn't hard to get rid of, it genuinely got lost one day and she managed to have her day sleep without it so when I found it later I didn't tell her  ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: BabyOnBoard
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 5:25pm
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I was seriously against dummies but sometimes it is the only thing that gets Arabella to settle.
My cousin sonvinced me when she told me that she didn't give a dummy to her first baby and she is now 6 and very clingy and wants to sleep with her parents every night and needs someone else to help calm her. She gave dunnies to her other 4 kids and they all know how to self soothe . . So it can be used as a tool to help them self soothe ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 5:29pm
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my son is just over a year and he still has his. He rarely has it outside of bed time. I don't see the problem with it and if it makes you feel better research has shown that it may help stop SIDs.
My older 2 had one as well and each gave it up before they turned 2. I never got into giving it to them all the time and so it was purely for bedtime. even now if Rhyley is upset (hurt himself etc..) he gets cuddles not the dummy. Don't feel guilty I would rather my kid took the dummy and had my sanity than sitting feeding all the time. beside she might end up suck her thumb ...and you do see kids still sucking their thumb after 5 (very rare will you see a kids over 5 sucking a dummy) You can take the dummy of a child you can't take the thumb. ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 5:35pm
I've never been anti-dummy as I'd rather have a dummy than Gina sucking her tumb. However, we never had any sucess giving her a dummy but thankfully she does not suck her tumb either  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 5:39pm
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Spencer had one from a couple of weeks old for comfort, he only ever had it for helping to settle and sometimes his day naps but he rarely actually went to bed sucking on it. At around 3 months he discovered his fingers and everything else around him and was no longer interested in the dummy, in actual fact if I tried to give it to him to calm him down it made him angrier. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 5:44pm
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SARAH HAD 1 from when she was a few days old as she would scream nonstop, she had it untill she was 2 just to sleep really then 1 day she threw it out the window and that was the end of it.
jett has 1 he doesnt have it often but he was the same when i was BF hed just use it as a dummy it drove me mad, or hed suck his hand & ended up with sucking blisters  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: porcelina
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 6:11pm
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The 1 hour turn around thing doesn't work for us, often Ruby takes that long to get all my milk (I think my let down is a lot slower than most people) plus I don't think my boobs hold a heck of a lot so she is still hungry and needs a top-up in the evenings of formula on top of the BF. So she is up quite a while in order to get the most breastmilk she can. And it doesn't help when she comes off the breast to give me a big gummy smile all the time
This has been the best afternoon sleep she has had in a long time! She quickly closed her eyes and when she woke up a few times earlier I popped it back in and the same thing, straight back to sleep. -------------
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Posted By: NikkiB
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 7:54pm
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Porcelina, this may be a stupid question, but have you tried to build up your milk supply? I use to have a low milk supply and now drink herbal nursing teas to help keep my supply up. Its also really helped with my let down. ------------- A very lucky mummy to two gorgeous boys: RB 3/10/2008 JB 29/12/2009 |
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 9:01pm
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Caleb is a really 'sucky' baby and I gave him a dummy from a few days old to alleviate my nipples. He used it for about three months then gave up on it. Sometimes he'll suck his fingers or thumb now. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 9:01pm
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We use them.. and they are great for calming, bedtime, when she is sick etc. She doesn't go out in public while it is in. Lucy is 2 and still demands
" dummmmyyyy " and now she has 2!! We are going to wean her off soon, gees, hope she grows out of it. Zoe has one now too, it's great, she spits it out tho which is a good thing. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: porcelina
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 9:25pm
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I did think about the herbal teas, are they awful I'm not a hot drink person, I had to force myself to drink all that raspberry tea at the end of my pregnancy! Plus do you have to keep up with them? The idea of that turns me off too. -------------
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 9:26pm
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I think whether or not you use dummies depends a lot on the baby. I was never against it but like someone said previously, I was worried about a 5yo with a dummy.
Our girl isn't a 'sucky' baby so we might not need one but if we do then so be it. My DH had one when he was little but me and my sisters didn't and none of us were thumb suckers either. -------------  
 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 10:11pm
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Yeah caitlyn had one, i was never for or against them, it worked fine, soothed her etc, she had it till she was about 2 and a half then i put holes in them and she threw them away in disgust....but unfortunatly she then discovered her thumb, and still sucks it sometimes, tho not as much, but APPARENTLY its against the law to cut their thumbs off *grumble grumble*
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Posted By: MonicaMouse
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 10:12pm
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DH picked up a dummy one night after Blair would not settle (he was under 6 weeks old at the time) as it turned out in the time DH left the house and got back Blair had settled and was just about asleep. We used it a couple of times but often had problems keeping it in his mouth. We misplaced it after a trip away, and as of yet have not replaced it. Blair has however discovered fingers and thumbs and will often put these in his mouth himself.
If its getting the extra sleep and/or time for yourself (in a purely unselfish way) and you feel happy about doing it - go for it! ------------- 
Blair 15/10/2007 Daniel 30/07/2009 |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 07 January 2008 at 11:01pm
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A friend today reccomended this tea as a nicer tasting one and highly effective - even one a day increases her supply hugely - Organic earth mother Angel Baby Milkmaid tea.
Re dummies, we were happy enough to use one, Lily rejected it around 2-3 months from, memory. I remember doing the walk of shame with a screaming baby the length of sylvia park back to the car wishing she still took it! I reckon you do what works. -------------  
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 08 January 2008 at 7:28am
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Charlotte has had a dummy since she was about 6 weeks old and still demands it at all times of the day/night. We tried recently to throw them away but she was hysterical so I gave that away. I have been told by a lot of people they do self wean off them and we try to give it to her only at night and in the car but she has about 8 of them getting around so I always turn around to find she has dug one out from somewhere.
I do try to encourage her to take it out when we go to the shops or the mall or visiting. She is fine about it and happily pops it into my bag. Its her comfort thing. Like a comfort toy or blanket I guess. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: porcelina
Date Posted: 08 January 2008 at 8:09am
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Looks like Ruby may only need it in the day, she woke up in the wee hours because it was so hot, she had one and a half sides and I popped her back before the hour was up. Got a dummy to see what she thought and she spat it out She would rather lie there happily during the night. Went back to sleep no worries. The daytime however will probably be a completely different story (I can hear her right now). -------------
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Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 08 January 2008 at 8:37am
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haleigh had a dummy for a few weeks but she never really liked it she couldnt seem to suck on it right but she ofund her thumb at 6wks so she a thumb sucker.
james needed somethng to suck on from dy one, the nurses inhospital had me wear a glove and hold my finger in his mouth to suckle (not fun lol), so he has a dummy for sleep and settling. now jsut to think of how to wean him off it haha ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 08 January 2008 at 9:02am
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i was not going to use a dummy but after 4 weeks of screaming and trying everything else i had to give him one thankfully he gave his up at 1 and ahalf yaybut they are a god send if bubs is a comfort suxer like james ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 08 January 2008 at 9:44am
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when we were pregnant with jack, i got given a couple of dummies at my baby shower....i threw them in the bottom of his drawers because we were so dead against them......luckily, he never wanted one anyway.
charli on the other hand! she was alot harder to settle to sleep and by the time she was 6wks, we'd had enough. got a dummy to try her on and never looked back. she would suck on it til she was asleep, then spit it out. by about 4mths, she decided sucking her thumb was better, so we threw the dummy away. she was about 7mths when she stopped sucking her thumb too. every baby is different and has different needs, so never feel guilty for doing what you do to get a happy healthy baby!!
BTW....charli was having a bottle of formula before bedtime from 10wks old and she slept so much better for it and so did i ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 08 January 2008 at 9:55am
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Both of my girls have wound up with them. I was dead against them and tried to hold off both times (6 weeks with Charlotte and about 10 days with Kate lol!) but both have been 'sucky' babies and liked the comfort.
My Mum talked me into it with Charlotte- she basically asked me why I was against it and I said how I hated how they looked and seeing 3 year olds with them in the Mall etc, embarassed to use it etc. She just said that thats not something I would ever let happen anyway (which is true) and that if its about what people think vs my baby getting comfort then surely my baby should come first. That sold it for me- I had a much happier, rested baby after that and have never looked back! My girls were/are ONLY allowed them for bed- Charlotte posted hers to the dummy fairy when she turned 2 no problems ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: Bianca
Date Posted: 09 January 2008 at 1:34pm
| Hi There - I know exactly how you feel! My son is 2 in April & I swore I would never use a dummy but we all know that as a new parent you'll desperately try anything in the name of sleep. We tried so hard not to use a dummy mostly because of what other people thought especially my mother. My son wasn't a good sleeper during the day & after 6 weeks of endless breastfeeding & falling asleep on the boob I gave in to the dummy which he willingly took to. 18 months later we were hopelessly hooked on the dummy especially my husband & I. We mostly used the dummy to help him go to sleep but found ourselves breaking all the rules - getting up in the middle of night everytime he woke to put the dummy in his mouth and started using the dummy during the day when he was grizzling. Even my parents asked if we had packed his dummy when they looked after him. We couldn't imagine life without the dummy until I forgot to pack the dummy when he went to preschool which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. When I picked him up the teacher said he happily went to sleep without it. I was dumbfounded! My husband & I courageously decided not to give him the dummy that night. I heard it takes 3 days to make or break a habit & from my experience it's true. I always felt embarrassed about using a dummy infront of other people because very few of my friends used them & no one at pre-school had one but I don't regret using the dummy. I did everything I could to get my son to sleep & the dummy turned out to be a life saver. My son has a 'blanky' that he uses to go to sleep & he is a great sleeper during the day & night. I'm really pleased we weaned our son & ourselves off the dummy before 2 years because he's a toddler now that is more aware & independent. We also learnt that we were probably more dependent on the dummy than he was & sometimes choose the easy way out for a bit of peace & quiet. The choice is yours & I've always said 'do what's best for you & your baby'. Best of luck! |
Posted By: porcelina
Date Posted: 09 January 2008 at 3:25pm
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So far she has taken the dummy twice and spat it out the other times so I am thinking she knows that it's not something to use all the time She really seems to have issues with a day sleep despite being tired, I guess sometimes I do have to let her have a cry -------------
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Posted By: Lua
Date Posted: 09 January 2008 at 9:17pm
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I always thought i would never use a dummy, gave one to my son at 6weeks for sleep times to help him self settle. He would fall asleep sucking on it then it would fall out. It lasted about 2 months then he decided he didnt want it. Tried giving it to him one night and he definitly told me he didnt want it anymore. Now self settles himself (apart from the odd bad days). If it works - then go for it
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Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 09 January 2008 at 9:55pm
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Keziah was in the NICU for a few hours and they gave her a dummy to establish the sucking motion.. But when the lactation consultant came into see us and saw the dummy she threw it away.. Sooooo, when we left the hospital we went out and bought her a new one cause she was quite unsettled at first!! Lately I have noticed she's not really interested in her dummy but will suck her fingers if the need be.. We do take the dummy with us when we go out just in case she gets unsettled, but it's never a case of shove the dummy in to keep her quiet -------------  
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 09 January 2008 at 10:31pm
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Lauren has a dummy and I use it for many of the reasons already mentioned. As soon I see she is getting tired in goes the dummy and her eyes automatically close and she's out like a light! Its like a signal to her that its sleep time!
Whatever works - do it is my theory!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 09 January 2008 at 11:45pm
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I have nothing against dummies. Briahna uses one and she will use it for as long as she likes. I guess when i think shes too old for it then it will go (unless she weans herself off it!) ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: Mikaela
Date Posted: 10 January 2008 at 12:43am
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Alex has a dummy but he's just not that fussed about it. It wouldn't bother me if he loved it though, whatever makes life easier for the parents without harming the children has to be a good thing in my book! ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com"> 
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Posted By: cheekymonkeysmum
Date Posted: 11 January 2008 at 3:05pm
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I wasn't wanting to use a dummy but my husband wanted so I gave in (let him win something). We tried the dummy when Hayley was 3wks but the dummy didn't last long. It was used to get her sucking so when we fed she was settled (she went hammer and tongs as soon as you stuck the bottle in her mouth and the dummy settled her). The dummy for us just sits there and has been for months but she has discovered her thumb as of this week and that settles her (which is another debate)
http://lilypie.com">   
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 12 January 2008 at 11:03am
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Kylah has a dummy. She uses it often. She likes having something to suck on. I dont mind them at all. As others have said if it makes it easier and it doesnt hurt the baby, go for it :) ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 13 January 2008 at 8:28pm
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Hannah always sucked her fingers, from about 2 weeks old. We got Briona a dummy cause she was refluxy and so very unsettled without the sucking to ease her tummy. Kryssi suckles her fist lol. I didn't jump in and buy one for Kryssi but I would if we had a reflux issue again. -------------  |