Sad and mad all at the same time
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13594
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Topic: Sad and mad all at the same time
Posted By: Kels
Subject: Sad and mad all at the same time
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 10:09am
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Ok so some of you may know it is Mercedes 7th Birthday today...HAPPY BIRTHDAY MERCEDES Getting back to rant/vent. So Dad is not around very often (was when we were together so a daddies girl). Last week she saw him for 5mins and he said he would come and see her today (havent heard from him yet). Now getting to the sad part. She asks me if she can give her dad $10 of her birthday money because she wants him to buy her a birthday present Hearing that just brought tears to my eyes. I said no and tried my very best to explain the he is an adult and should be finding money himself to get her a little something. What a loser he could just pick sopmething up form the $2 shop and it would make her day. I doubt she will see him as he is really off the rails at the moment (no excuse in my books) but even a phone call would be the light of her day........ Arghhhh heartbroken for my wee girl, pain I cant comfort or protect her from ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Replies:
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 10:13am
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Awww thats so sad but I guess she will have to learn all on her own what kind of person he is.
Happy Birthday Mercedes 
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Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 10:17am
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Firstly ~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY MERCEDES!!!!
It is very sad, but unfortunately I dont think Dad is going to change. It is just sometng Mercedes will have to come to terms with. Give her a hug!!! We are all thinking of her today on her special day!!! ------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: Gracielou
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 10:20am
Big hugs to you and Mercedes. I really hope he makes some sort of effort today. Poor Mercedes, daddies are so special for little girls. ------------- 
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 10:24am
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Happy birthday Mercedes!
Kels, that breaks my heart. Sounds exactly like my dad. Big hugs to your girl - know that having such a great mum really does count for a lot and helps with the let down from dad. ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 10:24am
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Happy Birthday Mercedes
Not sure what to say about the other tho, Yes she will need to find out for herself, but it's still hard to understand when you are 7 years old. Give her a hug from Fay and maybe we can bring a cake on Friday when we picnic to make her feel special to us ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 10:28am
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That really sucks. As an adult he should be able to do something small for his daughter on her birthday. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 10:35am
aawww HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! and what a loser her father is!!!! my father is much the same!!! he couldnt even remember my birthday! infact he can hardly remember my name half the time!
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 10:51am
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That is really sad, and it must be so hard for you to hear from her, on her special day no less!
Like Mazzy said, having a great mum counts for so much. My mum was both parents to us for most of our lives and now as adults, and even as teenagers we realised just how much she did for us emotionally as well as all the practical stuff. What I'm trying to say is that you can be enough for them and more. Even when our dad kept letting us down we knew our mum was always there to do what he wouldn't and your girls will love you that much harder because of it. to you and Mercedes, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 11:20am
| Happy Birthday! |
Posted By: shaz
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 11:35am
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Happy Birthday Mercedes
And big Kels. It would be so much easier if we could protect our kids from all the hurts in this world. Kids just don't deserve it and for Mum's it can be so heart breaking. But I'm sure as she grows she will appreciate you even more as she has seen the other side. ------------- Mum to Natasha Aroha 9/12/1995, Alexandra Makareta Waimarie 22/4/1998 and....Alyssa Frances Hopaea 18/03/2007 
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 11:40am
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Happy Birthday Mercedes!!
Awww, Kels that is so sad. It would just break my heart to hear my kids say stuff like that. Hope she has a fab day today anyway. Big hugs. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: AnnieB
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 11:41am
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Happy Birthday Sweetheart!
What a d*ck! hugs to both of you ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 12:12pm
Happy birthday Mercedes
And to the later that totally sucks!!  ------------- 
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Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 12:25pm
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Happy Birthday Mercedes
Hope your dad shows up  ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 12:38pm
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Happy Birthday Mercedes ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: hooper
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 12:52pm
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Happy Birthday!
Hope her day gets better.  ------------- Desiree 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 1:41pm
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wow seven!!! thats so old ! , she'll be a teen before you know it!
My daughters father lives in australia and calls once a week, provided he remembers, like most little girls she loves her dad to bits, and it breaks my heart when she asks why he doesnt want to live near her, or if hes forgotten about her. Its a sucky situation kels, im so sorry |
Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 3:11pm
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Happy Birthday Mercedes
Sorry about her dad being a Pr^%k Kels. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 4:09pm
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Happy Birthday Mercedes
I'd be mad too - hope he shows up ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 4:15pm
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happy brithday dear wee girl
kels im so sorry this is happingi,m relly not looking forward to the day james asks big big hugs ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 4:28pm
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Argh, posted a long reply but then internet disconnected!!
Happy Birthday! I too grew up in a similar situation. My Mum and dad divorced when I was 4 and the last time I saw my Dad was when I was 7...he never showed up after that. I remember the odd moment of sadness as a child BUT I have no such feelings now. I have no sadness, resentment, anger...nothing. I do feel sorry for him as I feel any man who stops seeing his kids must be a very hurting person on the inside. I'm incapable of holding grudges and I know not everyone is the same but I feel I received everything I needed from my Mum as a child. Rest assured that it is possible that she won't carry this hurt forever and this whole situation may even strengthen her as a person in the long term. Hugs for today. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 8:48pm
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Thankyou everyone for your well wishes. I too was only brought up by my mum as my dad left when I was 5mths old. I feel I never missed out and didnt really care that he wasnt around as when he was I was soooo scared of him. Mercedes tho was a daddies girl right up until I had Alize and we broke up. SHe has cried many tears for him and went thru a really bad patch fretting for him. REcently she had settled down but I guess special times like birthdays and christmas stir up the feelings she has for him. Ihave never bad mouthed him but I also refuse to lie and make excuses for him like I have in the past. Other than that she has had a great day and I even made her a pretty pink love heart cake! (I dont/cant bake so that was a challenge) she is now watching hairspray for the 4th time today lol. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 14 January 2008 at 8:55pm
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Happy Birthday!
That is just so sad I told my DH and he was furious! He told me to ask you if you want him to go around and have a 'talk' to him (considering we live on the other side of the world and hes a pasty scrawny accountant I totally understand you not taking him up on the offer!) 
I grew up with a Dad who was terrible at keeping promises- still haven't got that trip to Disneyland lol! I honestly think as heartbreaking as it is, its a lesson that she will learn on her own. Mum said it was just awful watching me get my hopes up each time just to be let down. But no matter how much she warned me I still got hurt each and every time. It wasn't until I was 16 and got a 1982 Toyota Starlet instead of the brand new MR2 I had been promised that I finally realised he couldn't be trusted to come through (ridiculous thing was that I would have been rapt with the car if he hadn't promised the other one first). Was a tough lesson for both of us- especially as he really had to step up to the plate at that point if he wanted to be a part of my life. He did and we are ok now. Hopefully they can do the same at some point ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 15 January 2008 at 9:05pm
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kels big hugs for Mercedes and you cause it is heart breaking to see your kids go through it and theres nothing but to be there for you kids to pick up the peices time and time again. Your girls and alize are a reflection of you as they are lovely kids (I can say this whole heartedly as I have met them IRL)
Mercedes unfortunately will have her bubble burst a few more time by her dad. Brooke has been thru what Mercedes is going thru now. Brooke has wised up to her dad BUT I am sure if he waltzed into her life again she would get the high hopes again only to be squashed as soon as he feels like it(granted he does always send birthday and christmas presents but she hasnt seen him in nearly 3 years) So once again give Mercedes a huge hug for her birthday from me and an extra special one for the dissapointment in her dad... ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |