Need Advice.Feeling guilty
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1376
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Topic: Need Advice.Feeling guilty
Posted By: Roxy
Subject: Need Advice.Feeling guilty
Date Posted: 14 January 2006 at 4:46pm
Hey guys at the moment Brooke(8wks5days)is upstairs screaming her head of.Rod put her up there when she woke in her buggy after yet another 20min sleep.Thats all she been sleeping for during day for last cple days.Very hard to get anything done and give Caleb one on one attn.She waking fair bit at night too......Rod reckons we need to get hard and leave her to cry if she wakes after such short time???????But she works herself up soooo bad.(dripping with sweat etc)You guys think she too young for that??I dont no why she has started sleeping so crap during day.........Another thing...shes used to me going up snd getting her as soon as she starts crying.She is feeding well and full of smiles for short time after having her up then yawns and gets bit grumpy so I put her to bed????? ------------- Caleb 15/11/02 Brooke 14/11/05 |
Replies:
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 14 January 2006 at 4:52pm
sorry no ideas here i feel for u thou and i think u r do8ing the right ting as long as she has no medical probs maybe if u can take it in shifts then u can one on one with your older boy ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 14 January 2006 at 4:53pm
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oh poor you. One thing i would suggest if you have definately decided to do the CIO method is to not give in once you have started. As babys are very smart little creatures and learn that if they cry long enough then mummy will eventually come in and get them out of bed and let them play. I found with mine it would take a few days, like 3. I would leave them 10mins then go in and reassure them that im here not going to leave them, if the crying is really incontrolable id give a quick cuddle or rock in the rocking chair in their room then put back into bed. Then leave them 15 mins I never went over the 20 min mark though as there was no need.
Another thing is she isnt too hot is she? I dont know if you are still wrapping her or not but maybe you could try her unwrapped? ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 14 January 2006 at 4:55pm
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my boy just started sleeping less in the day too and i think i had him too hot... so now i just put a sheet on him and yesterday he had much longer sleeps.
maybe when she waskes up leave her and see if she will resettle and if she works hersulf up maybe go and take some blankets or clothes off calm her down and try again. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 14 January 2006 at 8:13pm
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When Jake was littler, I used to be quite firm on the up, feed, change, play, down routine my plunket nurse told me about. The whole thing should take no more than an hour. The idea, i think, is to get them back into bed within the hour. They do get used to it. Another thing, have you watched the sleepytime vid from plunket? I found it good in helping me see other sleep cues apart from the yawn! Also, like Angelnz said, you do have to stick at it. (huh, all this coming from a mum whos baby sleeps like poos at night! Excellent day sleeper, though) ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Roxy
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 10:54am
Yep did the up fed play and down in an hr thing this morn and so far so good.Was up 5times againin the night thou...Im naughty though and offer her the breast everytime.maybe I should give her a cuddle and see if I can settle her without feed everytime???God Im finding things stressful this time round!!!Am being very grumpy mum to Caleb today.Poor bugger.And hubby been crook so grumpy too.Fun household. Will ask plunket nurse if they have that video.how did jake sleep lastnight?------------- Caleb 15/11/02 Brooke 14/11/05 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 2:10pm
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Maya was a great sleeper (which I'm sure was 90% luck), but I did find Family Centre were great in putting a sleep routine into place. We went when she was 5 weeks old, and they did the whole up, feed, play, sleep thing that jacobsmama mentioned, but they also told me not to feed her more frequently that 3 hourly during the day (from start of feed to start of feed). So I would feed her around 7am, then 10am, then 1pm, then 4pm etc. At around 7pm she would have a bath, pyjamas and feed and off to bed. I would then give her what Janine (Mum2Paris) calls a 'dreamfeed' at around 10pm before I went to bed. With that routine we got her sleeping from after her 10pm feed until around 7am uninterupted by 7 weeks.
Not saying that this is a quick fix, but it sure worked for us, and Plunket were really supportive. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 3:16pm
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Emma, whats the family centre? Is that somewhere in Auck? Do you know of somewhere similar in Manawatu/Hawkes Bay?
Rox - dont have any more ideas sorry but just hoping that things get better for you soon. Hope Rod is feeling better too. Can Carol look after Caleb for a day or something? I know you want to spend time with him, but you really need to have a rest mate, especially if you are getting up 5 times at night. We'll catch up this week, ok? Good luck.  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 3:33pm
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Aimee, there should be a family cente near you somewnere, there are several in Auckland and I know there is one in Whangarei, thery are all over the place. Just ask your Plunket nurse or look up Plunketin the local phone book and see whether there is one listed.
------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 4:43pm
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here you go Aimee
AREA 10 - HAWKES BAY Napier Family Centre 7 Lowry Terrace Marewa NAPIER Ph: 06 843 4309 Fax: 06 843 4857 AREA 11 - MANAWATU / WANGANUI 42 Albert Street PALMERSTON NORTH Ph: 06 356 7248 Fax: 06 356 7801 130 Heads Road WANGANUI Ph: 06 345 2011 ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Roxy
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 7:25pm
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Hey I actually went to the one in albert st palmerston north when Caleb was a baby.I spent the day there.They were really good but I didnt really stick to what they said and so Caleb never really got any better till older with the sleep thing.Im going to ring them tomorrow and beg for help Brooke is yet again screaming in her cot.Spent ages up there trying to settle her.........really hate the leaving her to cry thing...she gets so bloody worked up.Me and Rod fighting lots at mo cause he wants us to just leave her screaming and I cant do that.Feels like all he does is pick at me and how I do things with Brooke. ------------- Caleb 15/11/02 Brooke 14/11/05 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 8:05pm
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Try getting him to pick her up and cuddle her, reason with him that the smell of your milk is making her worse. my Rod is the opposite, he HATES the crying, but I can leave it. I think she might be to little to stop feeding her through the night, but maybe don't offer it to her every time, she should be able to go four hourly over night. My plunket nurse advised me to get rod to get up to him in the night as he will settle better without a feed if he can't smell the milk, and he knows dad means no nonsense!!
Jake woke at 2.am, Rod went in, cuddle, put down, cried for about 3 mins, then asleep... for 10 mins then same thing. Did that about 4 times, then eventually went to sleep around 2.45, waking at 4.30am for his feed, which I figure he ahs gone 10 hours, so I do feed him then. Up at 6.30m for the day, though!  fingers crossed for a better night for the 2 of us tonight!! (You more, though, I'm used to it!!) ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Roxy
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 8:36pm
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6.30 an early start eh.Caleb Usually got me up by then.have to fight to get my eyes open!!!!Thats so good that your Rod gets up to him.And sounds like it'll work for you guys if you keep persisting....Well I left Brooke to cry like Rod wanted and she was hysterical for awhile.I was getting Caleb to bed.and Rod felt bad for her so went up and rewrapped her and cuddled her and put her back dwn.She went straight to sleep.So now he knows how hard it is to let her get that upset!!!I would say she was overtired again tonight as she has only had very short sleeps today.I kept putting her down when I saw tired signs and she would go to sleep only to wake twenty mins later and not go back to sleep......God I hope the plunket family centre can help us!!!!!!!! I really want to start enjoying her.Dont even mind getting up to her couple times in night just want to get the rest sorted ------------- Caleb 15/11/02 Brooke 14/11/05 |
Posted By: fairsk8
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 8:41pm
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I'm sure it will get better Roxy, i'll cross my fingers for you. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 8:52pm
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Thanks Maria and Emma - was asking for Roxy. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 8:55pm
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Hang in there Rox. Are you still taking Brooke to the osteopath this week? ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Roxy
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 9:04pm
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Thanks Aimee your a doll!!!!Im of to Christine Thrush the Osteopath with Brooke tomorrow.Maybe she will work a miracle and we will have a happy baby after that???? Rod heaps betternow.Just grumpy.Lost four kilos from that bug...thankgod we didnt get it!!!!!!!! ------------- Caleb 15/11/02 Brooke 14/11/05 |
Posted By: Roxy
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 9:10pm
Hey thanks everyone for listening to my complaining and for giving me advice.So nice to be able to get everything of my chest and get other peoples thoughts.......YOU GUYS ARE GREAT!!!!   Hopefully at some stage I can end up giving someone some good advice------------- Caleb 15/11/02 Brooke 14/11/05 |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 9:32pm
hey roxy, i have no imput to your situation but just wanted to give you big 
hang in there, things will improve soon for you and your family ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 9:44pm
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i relly do hope and pray that pluket can help with bubs sleeps be storng and big hugs[ ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 15 January 2006 at 11:24pm
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Good luck with Plunket Roxy!
Hope things start getting better soon.. even if just between you and Rod
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