Do you regret....
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13803
Printed Date: 23 August 2025 at 9:38am
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Topic: Do you regret....
Posted By: rosewood
Subject: Do you regret....
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 8:24pm
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We wanted to know what we were having but baby decided to firmly cross its legs! So its a surprise now for us.
For those of you that have found out if its a boy or a girl do you regret finding out? ------------- Gill http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 8:26pm
| Hell no, I loved finding out and will do it again with #2 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 8:26pm
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I didn't regret at all not finding out what Maya and the gremlins were, it helped me to bond with them before they were born, and with the gremlins made the practical stuff much easier to organise.
We've decided not to find out this time tho, as the scan gets closer I'm getting more ambiguous, like "oh it would be so nice to know" but I am determined to exercise willpower and have a surprise on the big day since this is our last baby. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 8:28pm
| I didnt regret it at all. It totally helped me bond with them and I loved being able to give them a name, it made it all seem much more real to me |
Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 8:32pm
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Didn't regret at all - definitely helped both me and DH to bond. Also good in the practical sense, getting stuff ready.
Some people say it spoils the surprise but i figure - either u get the surprise at the scan or when they're born! And there's heaps of anticipation wondering what he's gonna look like etc. ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 8:32pm
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Not at all! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 8:37pm
nop not at all!! like Emma said it helped me bond with my boys and especially Bay because i was so sure that he was a girl and was really wanting him to be so im glad i found out because by the time he came i was so over the moon about having a boy!!
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 8:38pm
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We didn't find out with #1 and did with #2, albiet at 35 weeks, so we could tell my dying father. I didn't want to know, and as someone who has done both, I personally don't believe I bonded any better with C knowing she was a girl and choosing her name etc. If anything, it made the pregnancy much longer. We didn't tell anyone we knew, though, so it was still a surprise, even for my midwife (hospice organised the scan so it was off record)
Actually, I am very old fashioned in the fact that I am TOTALLY against it (finding out), I hate knowing what people are having and can see no benefit at all to knowing. After all, shops are open to buy pink or blue stuff when baby is born... Its not that long ago that you had to have a VERY good reson to find out the sex of your baby. Answer to your Q. Yes and no. I only found out so we could tell dad before he died, and I HATED knowing. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 8:39pm
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oooh no offence intended by my post, either.. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 8:40pm
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Not at all. I couldn't find out at the scans with Andrew so didn't know he was a boy just had a feeling he was. With Josh he was happy to share with us at the time and it made it a lot easier to organise things. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: rosewood
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 9:01pm
We were convinced that our DD was a boy In the UK our hospital didnt tell you even if you asked.
We are now glad that we dont know and that it is going to be a surprise for us. DD seems to think that it is going to be a boy - Called "Shaun the Sheep!" Good to see others opinions though! ------------- Gill http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 9:04pm
nope I dont regret it at all, we still get a suprise when he is born cos we dont know what he looks like  We always talk about what he might look like, and we will never know until we lay eyes on him ------------- |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 9:05pm
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LOL according to Maya baby is a girl, and names on the cards are Sooty and Sweep - methinks her grandad has been winding her up! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 9:09pm
we found out with jack....i wasn't sure if i wanted to know, but then couldn't help myself by the time i was at the scan....i kinda figured it out anyway when i saw the screen
i don't regret it at all. it meant we could buy everything before hand. especially as we were totally renovating a house so we knew what colours to do in his room. it was nice calling him by his name before he was born too with charli, we left it as a surprise. we figured we had everything for a boy, and if it was a girl, we'd go shopping big time! it was really nice to have a surprise, and she sure was....i was 95% sure she was a boy! ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 9:28pm
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I love knowing that our baby is a girl we have set up the nursery and everything with her name already, it was fun! And I like saying "she's kicking" etc instead of "it"... I was just too curious to not want to find out!
We told other people, which I don't regret either, but maybe next time we would keep it a secret... just got given WAY too many pink things  ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: floss
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 9:35pm
| I loved finding out esp with the twins cos I really hoped that one was a boy and then it made it eaiser to get the stuff ready |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 21 January 2008 at 9:36pm
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I had to know, I'm shocking at surprises. I had a "feeling" that they would be what they were, all that the scan did was confirm what I already knew. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: hooper
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 7:51am
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yer i had to know as well, i think its nice know.
with this one i was sure he was a boy, and only found out to make sure, but each to there own. ------------- Desiree 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 8:50am
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my Dh really was against it and i really was for finding out..but because after the mc he promised me i could we found out..he was gutted about finding out..so for that reason we probably wont next time..but I am over the moon...i had my heart set on a boy but really if it was a girl I wouldn't have cared..i just needed to know for a variety of reasons.. just about everyone i know over 50 hassled me for finding out though) one of the reasons was there are only boys in Dh's family and my DAd was really wanting a girl so i wanted them to have time to get used to it if he was boy(which he is) I don't think I've ruined anything I still wonder every night what he looks like and I don't regret it...:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 9:03am
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i dont regret finding out my 3 girls i loved knowing to prepare myself for names, clothes etc... and call them girls instead of its.
im sad i couldnt get a definate sex on this bubs for those reasons but in a way it is nice not knowing too and im not normally one to like suprises. im over everyone asking what we are having and i didnt want to tell people anyway so its nice being able to say i generally dont know!! EVERYONE assumes we want a boy i dont care either way, to me another girl would be easier!!! one thing i hated was after kayla my 3rd was born people were another girl... and expected us to be dissapointed!!! eek!! cant win. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 9:25am
Me too! Not that I mind if baby is a boy, but just quietly boys scare me! I know what to do with girls, boys are a whole new bag of tricks! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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mum2emj wrote:Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 9:39am
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yeah, I didn't want to have a girl, AT ALL, and was gutted whn I ofund out, which I think made the pregnancy even longer, and to top that off, people saying "oh you'll be hoping for a girl, pidgeon pair" etc etc and when I said NO WAY I do NOT want a girl, people looking at me like I had grown an extra head.
I never called either of my 2 "it" Baby was always Baby or Axl/Elvis (Jake) and Elwood (Charlotte) Personally, I think the bonding thing is a bunch of baloney. JUST MY OPINION THOUGH!!! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 9:46am
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Maya and the gremlins were never 'its', I was really conscious of not calling them 'it', but this one has been 'it' since early on, I am too tired and lazy to keep reminding myself not to call it "it" lol. Besides, it's baby #4, it's just going to have to fit in! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 9:46am
haha thats how i feel! |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 9:58am
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people were always saying to me 'i bet you're hoping for a girl to complete the set'.....WTF???
i was actually hoping for another boy and thought i was going to get one, but i wouldn't change charli for the world
its funny how people just assume you want a different sex to what you already have ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MonicaMouse
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 10:44am
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I told DH once the pregnancy was confirmed that I wanted to know. I figured out that it was going to be exciting enough meeting baby, that finding out the gender earlier wasn't going to make a difference. Besides DH was totally convinced we were having a boy, and I wanted to give him as much time as possible to adjust in case he was wrong. ------------- 
Blair 15/10/2007 Daniel 30/07/2009 |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 11:53am
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No, I didn't regret finding out with Ella, but I do really admire people who can wait until the birth to find out! I don't think it helped me bond any easier at all, but one thing that was handy (that totally took me by suprise), about finding out was that little did I know, at least 2 family members very much wanted the baby to be a boy, so at least they got their stupid comments out of the way and came around to the idea of a girl before our little princess arrived. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 12:05pm
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Yeah that's another reason I liked finding out... DH's friend convinced him a boy was better first time around, so finding out that it was a girl at the scan gave him some time to get used to it... not that he wouldn't have loved that it was a girl if we only found that out when she was born. Just gave him some time to get used to the idea I think! Especially since he is from a family of boys, haha.
I have heaps of respect for people who can wait, by choice, to find out the sex... my mum wanted me to wait and see but I was just WAY too curious ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 12:36pm
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I think finding out just make practical things easier like buying clothes, thinking of names etc. So I don't regret finding out ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 12:44pm
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We were told 'accidentally', and to be honest I ended up being very pleased we knew as I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wanted a girl. It took me a while to get my head round baby being a boy.
Now I'd prefer a boy, but if a girl came along then that would be cool too. So I guess, next time round I'd leave it as a surprise seeing as I'd not really mind either way too much. Does that make sense??! |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 1:24pm
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Nope I don't regret finding out. I agree that on a practical side it is easier to find out the sex. I don't think I bonded with either babe because I found out though.
I have no issue with people who do or don't find out, in the end it really is their decision. I have had a friend say 'oh what a shame' when I told her I'd found out - WTF???? ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: BabyOnBoard
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 1:44pm
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I am s glad found out and plan to for a ll my kids. I like to be organised and loved being able to say 'She' when I was pregnant
------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 2:31pm
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We had legs crossed too, but had to have a scan at 34 weeks so found out then. i am so pleased we got to find out,even with only 6 (well, 8 it turned out to be) weeks to spare.
I just felt even closer to her i guess, and it did mean that people could buy specific gifts which I know I alays prefer doing for friends so I am sure they did too. -------------  
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Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 3:12pm
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We didn't find out for DS, though we both had suspicions that he was a boy. I had nothing wrong with picking out gender neutral clothes - they have a really nice selection in NB/0-3 I'm not sure yet whether to have no scans at all, or to have a gender scan for the next bubs... -------------  
 
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Posted By: MelandBri
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 3:22pm
| I don't regret finding out at all. It was great to find out if the little bub inside me is a girl or boy. |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 4:06pm
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i loved finding out. i remember at the scan watching this little thing on the screen...as soon as she told me it was a boy things just immediately changed, i was looking at my son!
DH was desperate for a boy, and he is constantly talking about him, to him etc.. hes even nicknamed him "munter" alot of people dont understand why we wanted to know what the "Flavour" was.. someone at work told me id made a horrible mistake finding out. he told me hed burst into tears when his son arrived. i burst into tears when i found out at the scan as well, so i figure you either get the suprise at the start or the end.. ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 4:55pm
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don't regret finding out. I really,really,really wanted a girl and wanted to find out just in case we were having a boy so that I could get my head around it (I have 2 brothers and always wanted a sister so me having a daughter was the next best thing). Luckily it all worked out...... for #2 (when we have him/her) I am not really fussed if we have a boy or girl but will probably find out anyway (I am really bad at surprises). ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 5:27pm
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I found out with Caitlyn, I didn't have the willpower not to,I didnt mind what baby was and it had nothing to do with bonding, I just wanted to be able to tell everyone it was a boy or girl!
Next time i would like a surprise as i honestly dont mind if its a boy or another girl. |
Posted By: rosewood
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 7:57pm
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Its good to see that there have been no real regrets then. ------------- Gill http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 8:02pm
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I loved knowing, i loved it being like me and Mike's little secret and had we had the chance i am not sure what we would have done with #3, probably found out so we knew what to get if anything. I love the surprise factor like we had with Paris, when in that moment she came out and i cuddled her before someone told me she was a girl - nothing would have changed that either but I liked knowing with Ayja, and again in that moment she came out, lol you still check anyway, so it's sorta a surprise anyway to find out they were actually right.
Either way is all good. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 22 January 2008 at 8:13pm
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I loved knowing with DD, like mum2paris said it was DH and my little secret (we didn't tell anyone else), although I wouldn't say it helped me bond with DD any more than with this baby. Because she was my first I loved buying little pink things and made picking a name a bit easier.
This time around we haven't found out, wanted to have the 'big reveal' at the birth and I have also really enjoyed speculating along with everyone else. It's kind of freeing to be able to wonder about it out loud and not watch what I'm saying. Having two names to think of is fun too. In both cases, we made the decisions for our own reasons and have been really happy with them. I'm excited to find out what the gender is at the birth, but am sure it will be the last thing on my mind at the time! ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 1:36pm
makes complete sense to me, that's exactly how i felt with both my 2 ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 9:10pm
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I wanted to leave Caprece a surprise but Ben was in hosptial at the time of the scan and wanted to know so I found out. I was soooo pleased when I found out she was a she. At her birth she came out so fast and I kinda lost the plot for a wee bit there so I don't think it would of been as exciting finding out then anyway.
If if if I have another I'd really try not to find out just so i can see what thats like but either way its still an exciting surpise when you do find out. |
Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 25 January 2008 at 9:14am
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I hate surprises so had to know both times. The first time we wernt 100% sure but had been expecting it to be a boy, so when I was told there was a chance it could be a girl it gave me a chance to change my thinking and get excited about having a girl. Same with the second.
I am such an organised person I like to have everything all ready and knowing makes it that much easier, although am still trying to make sure if they got it wrong at the scan that its not going to be toooo much of a shock at the birth. I figure I still had a surprise, I just found out 20 weeks earlier ------------- 
 
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 25 January 2008 at 2:22pm
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We were dying to know and had a CVS at 13 weeks so knew by 14 weeks that we were having our baby girl, which is exactly what we wanted. I do believe it helped us bond, she had a name and everyone would talk about her referring to her as Charlotte.
I will find out with number two, while sometimes I think it would be cool to have a surprise, I think I will be better prepared knowing the sex. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 5:44pm
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we never found out what we were having I didnt want to...my husband wasnt too fussed.
I really wanted a girl for my first and was worried if if I did find out before the birth and it turned out to be a boy I would be disappointed or if I was told we were having a girl and actually gave birth to a boy so I figure the less I know the better. although for some reason I suspected I was having a girl and it only once she was born that my suspicion was confirmed. If we have #2 I think I will find out merely for curiosity. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 8:41am
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I've found out each time... no regrets here, although my husband does regret it a little this time, as he sort-of wanted the surprise. We talk it through beforehand, and found out for different reasons each time.
Kiya - I was a single mum, I wanted to know what my baby was and I was too impatient to wait! Josiah - We were on a tight budget, and knowing made it easier to prepare. I had kept very little of Kiya's baby stuff (not knowing how long it would be until I met someone, never mind having more children!) so we had to get practically everything. We didn't tell anyone until a couple of weeks before he was born, when I just couldn't last any longer and let it slip a couple of times. Xavier - I had PND, and wanted to find out to see if it helped me bond. I struggled to remember I was pregnant, never mind making any sort of connection with the baby and being able to talk to him by name really helped me. Jackson - purely practical, this time... mostly along the lines of how we're going to organise the bedrooms when he moves into a cot! Because Kiya will be so much older than all her brothers we are reluctant for her to share a room so that she has her own space where she can have her "big girl" toys in peace and quiet... having 3 boys in one room will actually work out kinda good. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 8:48am
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Oh, and believe it or not, DH and I struggle to find boys names we both like! Josiah was easy, but that was the only name we had we both liked (and his middle name is the same as my DH) so finding out has meant the difference between keeping on looking for a name or not ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: BabyKiwi
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 5:37pm
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Yep, no regrets here either!! I had a feeling I knew what bub was but again, the scan confirmed it for me, although we did take it with a pinch of salt incase it turned out that the bub was the other sex!
I have very personal reasons for finding out and if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have asked! |