MIL madness
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Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1381
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Topic: MIL madness
Posted By: newmum
Subject: MIL madness
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 9:48am
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Ok, I don't want to sound like a terrible DIL because overall I know I have a great MIL but sometimes she drives me insane!! I thought I would start a thread where I can moan! Feel free to join in, hehehehe
So my inlaws arrive from Germany on the 28th of Jan and are staying at our place until the 21st Feb, aaaargh!! Here are the things that have annoyed me already and they aren't even here yet!!
AAAARRRGGGGHHHHH   Give me strangth!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 9:51am
 Big hugs, Ana!
I may not be joining this thread to complain about my MIL as she's really wonderful, but can I complain about my husband's MIL here? ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 9:54am
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lolololol go ahead! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 11:14am
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OMG Ana!!! Joey is SO NOT overweight. I would make up something that "your plunket nurse" said to you about joey being appropriate weight and healthy.
as for the routine, you need to be superstrict i think. When it comes down to it, he's your baby and he won't be happy if he doesn't get enough sleep and stuff. i can't belive they said some of that stuff!!!! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 12:06pm
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Oh dear... I just dont understand them sometimes. Why would you even say stuff like that. Be strong Ana. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 12:18pm
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My MIL manages to get under my skin alot. When he was 6 weeks old she tried to give him some solids and when I said no he can't start anything like that until he is at least 4 months old, she told me all the doctors, nurses, plunket, and researchers no nothing. She gave my son a GLASS of WINE when he was 8 months old! I mean WTF??? And the lastest one is that he should be completely potty trained already. And she is forever going on about me breastfeeding Alex still. She talks about it with everyone else too. I don't think its such a big deal that I'm still b/fing, I planned to keep it up until he was 2 anyway. It's not like he is always on my boob & doesn't eat anything else. And I don't know if its just me being weird but I dislike my MIL talking about my breasts with every Tom, Dick & Harry! ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 12:21pm
oh toni!!  We could start a MIL anonymous group hehehehehe I am scared to leave Joey with them in case I come back and they are feeding him Schnitzel or something, LOL  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Popsicle
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 1:26pm
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Newmum - you have cured my Monday-itis with that list of annoying things. I think because I can totally visualise my MIL saying stuff like that. My MIL means really well but yes - I go insane at the littlest thing. They are wonderful to our daughter but she has this knack of making me feel totally incompetent. She feels the need to point out every scratch, itchy bite, bruise, broken nail, mark, cough, runny nose as if I didn't already know about it. Talk about make me feel like I'm not looking after her precious grand-daughter! Then the outfits she makes for her are something from the 70's because she has had the pattern and the fabric for 28 years. She then thinks we're ungrateful because we are not leaping all over the show with joy at this FABULOUS new outfit! She only wears them when she is going around there. Even my partner struggles to put his little girl in these dresses (with the matching bloomers)! Sorry - I could go on for ages but the last thing (for now) is they have been giving her juice to drink. Although diluted, now all my daughter asks for is juice when she used to be such a good water drinker. So now because I won't give her juice all the time, we have tanties. GRRR! |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 1:36pm
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OOooh a MIL rant thread hehehe
Mine is a bit strange.. hmm should I say very strange!! Luckily she stays away most of the time now, but when we see her it's very full on! If I'm feeding Ella something then she'll grab some food too and say Ella, come here and eat this.. I'm like WTF, I'm busy feeding her!! I was so happy I was able to breastfeed for 13.5 months as it meant she was never able to take Ella off me to give her a bottle! ooh is that mean?! There are so many other things about her but as this is an NZ site she might come across it and read it here so I probably shouldn't say anything else! Good luck Ana!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 1:36pm
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Oh and you stick to your guns, yes they are coming over here to see their grandchild, but you're the mother and they will do as you say!
OR ELSE! :P ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 2:13pm
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lol, thanks Kat
Popsicle, hehehehe I feel for you mate!! Glad I could cure your monday itis! How old is you daughter?
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 2:29pm
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I left my son with my MIL for 3 hours once, he had a bag with all the nappies & wipes he could need, spare clothes, a sun hat & sunblock. I came to pick him up & he had an overflowing nappy, no clothes left (they had been pooed all over, and the WORST sunburn I have ever seen! His skin bubbled right off his face! And she wonders why I won't let her babysit
And the worst thing is that she is actually a qualified nurse. Makes me wonder about our health system really. ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 2:40pm
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OMG toni!! I would be have been livid, I know I would have sworn and yelled at her if it were my MIL.. The sunburn thing makes me really mad, I feel so sorry for your poor little man :( :(
on a side note, my MIL's mother (my grand-MIL? lol) has this thing about making some little comment everytime I mention that I'm putting/have put sunscreen on Ella.. and when she was a baby I would have the sunshade on in bright sunlight. She always says that I don't let her have enough sunlight, hello?! Ella was a newborn when she first started making these comments! Of course I wasn't letting her sit in direct sunlight! And now, Ella is outside most of the time, so of course I'm going to protect her skin with sunscreen, esp with the ozone hole being so bad here. oops sorry for my rant haha ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 2:50pm
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OMG Toni, that is terrible!!! That would have made me sooo upset!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 2:53pm
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The worst thing was that my sister in law was their at the time & said that my son was left asleep on a swing outside for an hour, which is how he got the sunburn. Apparently she said to her mother that it was too hot outside, & was told "nonsense". I was not impressed. It was right up there on my list of "REALLY STUPID THINGS" along with the glass of wine she gave my son. ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: Popsicle
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 3:37pm
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My daughter is now 19 months old. My MIL said to me about the dress (and don't forget the matching rompers) that when she out grows it next summer, she can just add longer straps on it because she still has plenty of that fabric left. Oh Yay I said!!! At least the straps will still match the dress because she wouldn't have worn it often enough for the dress (and matching rompers) to fade!! I laugh now but if only you could see it!! |
Posted By: fairsk8
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 4:00pm
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The only prob i had with my MIL is that she insisted on being their for the birth. Tried explaining to my partner that there are some parts of me that his mother should never see, but she did not mind, she abit hormonal at mo(menopause i think) and got really upset when he tried to tell her i didn't want her there. She made it sound like Dan didn't love her anymore. Ended up having and emergency c-section so she wasn't there in the end anyway. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
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Posted By: Popsicle
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 4:28pm
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God Toni - I can't believe that about letting your little boy get so sunburnt. Hasn't she been watching the telly and all the bad press about staying out in the sun and what it does. Poor wee boy, it's not as if he can say "Nana (or whatever), I'm getting sunburnt, can you please put some sunblock on me"! What on earth was the glass of wine for - to numb the pain?!!! Man, you certainly have your hands full there, makes my "hideous dress" story seem so trivial!
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 5:14pm
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My MIL is dead, unfortunately, but apparently we would have go along great. But, Rods, MIl on the otherhand.... Was just reminded by a post above about her almight tanty when I said i only wanted Rod watching baby be born, cos she wante to come as well..... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 5:38pm
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Well, I can't complain. My MIL is lovely. We are very similar. Lewis is identical to my dad, very scarey.
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 16 January 2006 at 7:30pm
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Yeah I'm lucky....my MIL is fantastic... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 17 January 2006 at 9:34pm
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And I'm even luckier coz I don't have one LOL. Willie's mum passed away a few years before I met him.
-------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Popsicle
Date Posted: 18 January 2006 at 12:28pm
| My partners parents lived with us for what was supposed to be about 3 months, turned into 13 months!! That was pretty hard going and I would come home and find the cupboards re-arranged, things in the lounge moved and our garages were so full of stuff that I could hardly get to the washing machine to do any washing. Then (don't ask me how it happened) I fell pregnant about two thirds through their stay with us, so that made me even more agitated. One night it all came to a head and a blazing row broke out and MIL called us selfish. They "had always taken my partner back whenever he wanted to move home" (many years ago when one of his previous relationships broke up - he would have been all of 20). Well, that was it so I just lost the plot. Very horrible experience and they didn't talk to us for about 2 months. Imagine living in quite a small house with the Inlaws and they aren't even speaking to you? Cut the air with a knife - but things are OK now apart from the usual interferences and homemade outfits, but means well. |
Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 18 January 2006 at 3:48pm
Ahhhhh.... MIL's!!! Aren't they just a breed of their own!! Ana, your's sounds like an absolute nightmare. Stick to your guns and don't let her 1. Boss you round, or 2. Boss you round!! You are doing a superb job with Josef, and the last thing you need is a bossy old woman coming in and BOSSING YOU ROUND!!!! My MIL... we'll that's just something I like you guys far too much to inflict upon you, so lets just leave it as a story for another time (if you are all very very bad  )------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: emma
Date Posted: 23 January 2006 at 4:28pm
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i have two mothers in law ( oh lucky old me ay?)
one is lovely, a bit much sometimes, but still lovely!! the other is a deluded lunatic who i wouldn't leave a goldfish with, let alone my precious daughter!! ------------- Mum to Tiger-Lily D.O.B 07/05/05 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 23 January 2006 at 8:48pm
| Oooo do we get to hear stories??? I'm such a gossip queen! |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 23 January 2006 at 8:50pm
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I just don't think I'll get a MIL (if I marry Zeke, which isn't looking likely at the moment. Another story.)
Mind you, his Dad is bad enough. And they are so much alike!!! (Part of the reason why I can't stand him atm) |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 January 2006 at 8:57pm
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oooh Nikki? Wedding bells been silenced...? ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 9:21am
| come on nikki, you know we all live vicariuosly through you. you must tell ALL! |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 2:23pm
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hahaha Well I was living my little fairy tale dream that Zeke was the man for me.
I think I'm just going a bit crazy being at home for the past 4 months with nothing to do. He's driving me nuts because of little things, but mostly because I have realised how much he is like his Dad. Errol (Zeke's Dad) is right into the whole Steiner philosophy. Which is brilliant for the most part. Things that have been bothering me is stuff like Errol advising Zeke and Hamish (one of his friends) not to get Hannah duplo for her birthday as 'at her age she shouldn't be playing with plastic, instead go foraging in the bush for sticks and leaves for her to play with as she needs to be exploring natural textures', as well as Zeke not being able to buy her colouring pencils for her birthday as 'the marks made with pencils are too strong and definite, she should be working with something soft and flowing, like water colour paints' (now have you ever tried to get a one year old to hold onto a paintbrush, dip it in water, dip it in paint then draw with it on a page?!?!? Yeah, near impossible.) and the latest gem, which when I mentioned to Zeke that I had found some games to play with Hannah on the Fisher Price website (incidentally nothing to do with the computer, but games that I can play with her around the house) he replied something about how I was 'warping her mind'. I was sooo f*@#ed off!!!! I personally believe that providing a child has a balanced life, then computers can be educational. So because I was annoyed I ripped out the "She is my child" call, which I really didn't want to have to resort to, but I didn't appreciate the way in which he voiced his disapproval. Anyway, had a talk about it and now I keep finding stupid little things about him that irritate me. And I've been a mega bitch!!! I wish I could stop it! I think I need a holiday so might go home. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 2:27pm
| Ahhhhhhh *deep breath* Much better! |
Posted By: AnnaD
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 3:30pm
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Hey Nikki, I can imagine how frustrating that could be! Just so you know, I have been known to pull out the 'my child' line also. Once to Andy (?!? Go figure? I wasn't feeling very rational at the time) and I have also used it once in relation to the in-laws, also not my finest moment! ------------- Anna and Quinn 10 July 2004 www.quinnariki.blogspot.com and one more on the way.... http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 8:19pm
| OMG Nikki, I'm sorry but i cracked up at the "foraging around with leaves". Jake LOVES his duplo by the way! he has been "sharing " with Taine - which involves him chucking bits around the room. BTW, aren't a lot of plants poisonous?? She'll be exploring natural textures and end up in A&E |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 8:21pm
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omg, his dad sounds like a nutcase!! I know a few ppl who go to Rudolph Steiner, and neither they or their parents are like that! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 8:24pm
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I wonder how they will feel about natural textures when Hannah, out of complete boredom and longing for Duplo sticks her hands down the back of her naps and brings up "choccy" logs to "explore"... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 January 2006 at 9:50am
| it's all very natural...... |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 January 2006 at 9:50am
| sorry Nikki, making fun of Zeke!! |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 29 January 2006 at 10:14pm
So in laws have been her 24 hours and MIL has only said 9 times that Joey is too fat and I feed him too much sigh  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 30 January 2006 at 9:09am
| If you were cheekeir you could say pointedly "well, i wonder who he gets THAT from" and look her up and down...that said i would THINK that, but cuold never say it! I'm a wuss! |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 30 January 2006 at 1:14pm
Run Ana, while you still can. Take Joey and come and live at my house for a month. Leave Peter to deal with his parents 
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 30 January 2006 at 3:50pm
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only problem is she is tiny and I'm well, ...not really ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 30 January 2006 at 5:27pm
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Dammit, oh well, you wouldn't have said it anyway I'm betting !
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 30 January 2006 at 9:56pm
true true....  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Popsicle
Date Posted: 31 January 2006 at 11:00am
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What a bloody awful thing to say to you!!! God - how long are they with you for again? I didn't think babies overate anyway. They only eat what they need to and don't gorge themselves. Anyway - I would much rather see a healthy, bonnie baby than not. If your MIL has anything to do with it, your poor wee baby is going to end up with an eating disorder!! My MIL yesterday said to me that she got so annoyed when her friends grandson could pick the colours of the crayons. If his nana said "pass me the red crayon" he would pick out the red one and pass it to her. So now she's on a mission to teach Gabrielle the colours. I got really annoyed because Gabrielle is doing just fine and is progressing naturally so I pointed out to her that this little boy is about 4 months older than Gabrielle so to cut her some slack and not pressurise her into stuff (she's only 20 months old and this other little boy is 2 yrs old). Crikey - I don't want her growing up feeling incompetent. GRRRR |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 31 January 2006 at 2:15pm
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Going off topic here :P
Popsicle, all kids do things at their own speed anyway.. your girl can probably do things that this little boy can't.. but I know what you mean about the grandparents wanting to compare kids, my mum and my friends mum work together (my friend and I have babies two weeks apart) and they often say "so and so can do this now" to one of us.. I guess it's just because they are so proud of them.. but it can sometimes get annoying, and make you feel like your baby needs to do what the other is ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Popsicle
Date Posted: 31 January 2006 at 3:59pm
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Meow you are speaking my language |
so I know what you're saying. She is certainly very proud and is a wonderful nana to Gabrielle, but the comparison thing grates me - especially when she says that she "gets annoyed" when another baby is doing something that Gabrielle isn't. It doesn't annoy me because I never did the comparison thing. My MIL thinks Gabrielle is prettier than everyone elses baby that she has ever clapped eyes on, and while it's lovely, I'm not sure all grandmothers out there would agree with her!! But hey, she hasn't yet said that Gabrielle is "too fat", the words she chooses are "well covered"!!Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 31 January 2006 at 9:16pm
| well-covered is good!! Apparently the plunket lady told mum i was too fat. Then i got pneumonia and lost all, and looked like a child of famine. the nurses said that my "storage" helped me get better! |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 01 February 2006 at 12:02pm
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aaaargh!!!! They are driving me insane. FIL has heart problems so yesterday said they didn't want to do anything like sightseeing etc. because it was too hot, that's fine. Today I took Joey in for immunisations and I said I would prefer to stay home because I don't want him getting a fever or something when we are ou and about but they are welcome to borrow the car.. NO FIL doesbn't want to drive on this side of the road so he made me take him to buy all these garden tools and is now furiously taming our terrible garden AND WE ARE MOVING OT OF HERE IN 2 MONTHS!!!! He is bored he said. So now MIL has joined him and is WASHING DOWN THE WALLS OF THE HOUSE with a CLOTH..... I suggested if they don't want to drive they could go for a walk or take the bus or train but nononono we are fine...... aaaaarrrrgggghhhh f@*k ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 01 February 2006 at 12:37pm
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man if you wernt so far away you could hire them out to me to come and clean my house and do some gardening. Sit back and enjoy hee hee. Or if you want them to stop tell them the bits they are doing wrong like, "I can still see a bit of fly poo on the wall" ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 01 February 2006 at 12:52pm
| lol I like that idea.... when your MIL has finished entire house - "oh, you missed a spot!" |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 01 February 2006 at 1:12pm
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or when she asks you if its okay just sigh and say kind of off hand its okay ill fix it up later. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 01 February 2006 at 1:26pm
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Ohhh, Maria, that's nasty! I love it! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 01 February 2006 at 3:43pm
| thats fantastic maria. I'm so going to use that!!! |
Posted By: Popsicle
Date Posted: 01 February 2006 at 4:54pm
| Man - those are brilliant!!! I'm keeping them in mind for myself too! |
Posted By: Alan Mum
Date Posted: 02 February 2006 at 8:42am
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Well can't complain about my MIL she was wonderful, but like someone else has already said I will be back to complain about my husbands MIL. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 02 February 2006 at 10:21am
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dont forget tho ana they did things differently back then, and didnt know what we do about babies and eating and weight gain etc.
with in laws you have to develop a thick skin, practice the nod and hmmm at comments and then do what you want any way. and if they want to clean let them, maybe you could just go out and leave them to it - if you are moving soon what harm could there be.? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 02 February 2006 at 10:46am
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Right... now it's my turn to complain...
Josiah is going under general anestetic on Tuesday so the specialists can check the health and state of his eyes (non surgical proceedure). The appointment is for 7.13am and we don't know how long we'll be at the hospital so we've organised for my MIL to come and look after Kiya. THIS IS NOT THE PROBLEM The problem is my husband's MIL - I asked my Dad if she ould be able to come and look after Kiya, but at the time it wasn't going to work out (my brother and sister are still in high school) so that was why we made other arrangements. Now, my Mum is talking about coming down for a visit and taking Kiya back with her for a few days... never mind that its really short notice and we've got things organised now! AAAGGGHHH!!! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 02 February 2006 at 11:08am
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take a few deep breaths Becca. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |