Same sex stuff
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13875
Printed Date: 10 October 2025 at 7:27am
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Topic: Same sex stuff
Posted By: kebakat
Subject: Same sex stuff
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:29pm
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I couldn't think of a better subject - sorry! lol
I've just been in a very heated "debate" with a friend on the topic of gay/lesbian people. It's a topic I usually argue with them over every year or so as we both have very differing but strong opinions on the subject.. and I'm curious how many people would share my views vs hers. So I was wondering.. Do you have anything for or against people being interested, or in a same sex relationship? What about them being parents? |
Replies:
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:32pm
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I personally think everyone is entitled to love and be loved, no matter if is same sex or not.
Am not too sure on the parentin thing tho. That said, one of my Best mates mum is a lesbian, but wasn't when she was concieved. Get my drift? ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: hooper
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:33pm
i say each to there own. its there choice and if it makes them happy well so be it.
------------- Desiree 
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:34pm
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My brother is gay and i wouldnt change him for the world! I think he would make an awesome dad one day too!
I have nothing against it at all ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:37pm
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I suppose I should really state my opinion since I asked for everyones lol.
I have nothing whatsoever against them. I lived with a lesbian couple. I have so many friends that are bi/gay/lesbian. In fact I don't think I have many purely straight friends at all lol. As for parents. I think they have every right to be parents. If they make loving parents why shouldn't they have a go at it? Some kids don't even get 1 nice parent so I don't see why a really good couple shouldn't get that chance.
My friend, has basically the opposite opinion to I. |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:37pm
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I';m sure we've talking about this before. I went to school with a number of girls that are/were gay and I had no problems with them; even thou they thought that I would have a problem (me being a quite out there girl in my 7th form year) knowing they were that way. Go figure. However with parenting. If 2 chicks were to have a boy I would feel for the boy, Young boys need male role models and i'm just noticing in Andrew that he is missing that male figure in the house. And I would say it would be the same for 2 guys if they had a girl she would need a woman role model. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:37pm
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I don't have anything against people being gay and have quite a few friends that are. I also don't have a problem with them being parents either. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:38pm
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I dont really have strong views on it but I hate it when people shove it in your face. Like the outrageously gay people who are way over the top. Im not over the top in my hetro relationship so i dont want to see others all over each other etc... each to thier own.
I dont think gay people make worse parents, again as long as the lifestyle is not the main focus but a loving family environment. |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:38pm
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When I saw the post I thought it was about actual sex and the same stuff all the time ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:40pm
Yes, thats how I feel. I hate PDA and all that with hetro as well. And I guess, some kids don't even get opposite sex parents who look after them well. At least with a gay couple, they have chosen to be parents. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
my2angels wrote:Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:42pm
I agree and disagree on that. Simply because it's not that different from a single parent who doesn't have a partner or doesn't date. And in both those situations there's always those peoples friends to be role models. And yup we have talked about this before. |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:42pm
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I have no problems at all with gay or lesibian couples or parents. What I do have a problem with is the P parents, the ones using weed and alcohol during and after pregnancy instead of looking after their baby, child abuse and the awful rates of sexual abuse on our babies that goes unnoticed...(ekk sorry Stacey off the topic) Ok getting back to lesbian couple I know. One is a primary school teacher the other a registered nurse both a loving couple brought their own home together etc. Decided on kids and now have 2 with the father being the same for both. He has contact and is a very close family friend. Their oldest is now 7 and youngest is 3. They are the most intelligent, stable and happy kids, I have babysat for them a few times and they used to have my girls for me in the holidays when I was working pre Alize!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:45pm
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Well Alize has no Dad and no uncles so he is stuck with me, his 2 older sisters and a nana!!!! That is all our family consists of HOWEVER I think I can do my very best to teach him a thing or two!!! BTW my lesbian couple friends have one of each ------------- http://lilypie.com">
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:46pm
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Yep I thought we had. Andrew still has males around him (and my friends DH even told him off on Monday) I think as he has grown up with DH in the house he is thinking he can get away with things. But like you said they still have role models. And plus they will have them from birth so be in that enviroment from day one. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:47pm
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No problem here, we have gay friends and it's just "normal" for us now. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 8:49pm
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One of my bestest friends is a lesbian and has been in a relationship for a long time, they were going down the adoption route but unfortunately her partner got a brain tumour so everything is on hold why they see what happens. (She had surgery last year but there is a chance it could return).
I would fully support them in it as knowing them I know that they would make great devoted parents. As for the role models I don't think lesbians raising a boy would be any worse than a single mum raising a boy, plus there are always lots of other male role models around like uncles and granddads etc, the same could be said for a gay couple not being any different to a single dad raising a girl. I think the most important thing is that the child would be raised in a loving family environment, be that a hetro couple, a gay couple, a lesbian couple or single parents. I don't like PDA either by anyone. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:02pm
| I don't really care about PDA's no matter who it is unless it's really full on. But that's probably because many of my friends have always been cuddly people. |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:03pm
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What is PDA??? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:04pm
| Public display of affection |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:04pm
Public Display of Affection. Not so much hand holding, but the kidding full on, groping etc, almost riding weach other walking down the street.  ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:05pm
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I think I got lost somewhere here and missed it lol ------------- http://lilypie.com">
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:06pm
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Ohhh I got ya now and I cant stand it! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:07pm
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Doesnt bother me either way. My female GP is lesbian and it never bothered me. I know it bothered other woman around here if they went for anything 'female' related, but I figured how different is it from a straight male doc looking down there? Anyway, they have one son and she is overdue (may have had it by now) with another now, and I think they would be awesome parents - way better than a lot of hetero couples. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:11pm
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public displays of affection
My step-sister is gay. her and her partner want to have kids, but at present are not entirely sure how they will go about it - well if they are, they haven't mentinoed it. i have no problem with either. |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:11pm
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I wouldnt have a prob either Aimee if my female GP was lesbian or vice versa ------------- http://lilypie.com">
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:22pm
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Doesn't bother me and I personally don't see why it should bother anyone else. Mind your own business I say.
As far as raising a child of the opposite sex, my brother was basically raised by two mothers and his three older sisters. Our mother and her best friend; she had two daughters and my mother had my brother and myself. He's turned out fine, if not better than a lot of boys (he'll always be a boy to me) his age. And his friends are always telling me what a good guy he is and the girls all fuss over him because he always looks out for them. He makes us all so proud. Bugger all male influence there. |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:23pm
| I wouldn't mind a lesbian GP. My doc is an older guy who likes to tell me that I need to have more sex while DH is with me haha |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:26pm
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i know a lot of gay and bi-sexual people and dont have any issue besides as you say the PDa...and that is with straight people as well..as far as parents i know couple who have two sons(lesbian) and everything is great...seems more accepted than two men having a daughter though which is sad:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:26pm
I think i would feel more comfortable with a women than a man, no matter what their sexual orientation. So I would feel more comfy with a lesbian woman than a gay man, does that make sense
Edit - I was talking about with a doc, not just in general -------------
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:30pm
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I love my male dr, he is so upfrount and honest with us, calls a spade and spade. I jsut want to say that what I was saying about role models was that Andrew has been used to having that other male in the house so what he has now is different. With a gay couple having a child the child is in that enviroment from day one. PDA's - even with hetros i'm not all that keen on it, there is a time and a place for it. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:34pm
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funny im more comfortable with my male doc..probably cause I've known him 16 years but i like his nurse as well.. as she is a lady..guess its just what Im used to...(they arent gay but wouldnt matter if they were. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:37pm
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I'm another one who thinks each to their own. If they aren't harming themselves or other people then whats the big deal? So don't get how some people are so intolerant when it comes to gay people when it effects them in no way what so ever.
I think if a child is raised by a loving family then thats whats most important- not what goes on in the bedroom. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:40pm
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That is something that really gets my goat, is that the minute someone says so and so is gay, people (men, mainly, I think) IMMEDIATELY think straight away about the sex, and I always say do you think about that when you meet hetros? ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:43pm
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I get what you mean becks. Kind of like you don't miss what you've never had?
With PDA's I'm kind of half and half. I don't like that full on snog where its just sexual tension and you clearly need to go home and do something about it. But when I'm out with DH sometimes he might do something cute and I'll give him a kiss, a little squeeze on his bum or stop for a quick hug. But it's purely to show the affection at that moment but I do try and make sure it's not over the top or in anyone's face. If any of that makes sense. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:46pm
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Yeah its only the over the top stuff I don't like seeing. People holdings hands or quick kiss etc is fine. It's just the people that are way over the top and trying to dry hump each other in full view of everyone around that I really hate. -------------
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Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 9:51pm
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Do you have anything for or against people being interested, or in a same sex relationship? I'm def OK with it, I don't think anyone should be judged as a person based on their sexual orientation alone.
What about them being parents? Again I'd be OK with it as long as they are really comitted to it, it does not have to be a man & woman to make a loving family. Also a close relative etc can be the role model if the couple have a boy. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 10:02pm
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i'm ok with gay/lesbian couples...it's not like they woke up one day and decided that's what they are going to be from now on....i think they should have the same rights as anyone else, re marriage and kids
as long as the family environment is loving and the kids have everything they need, why should it matter what gender the parents are??  ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 10:04pm
i'm definately NOT comfortable with my male dr if i'm going for anything invasive....but that's only due to the wee crush i have on him ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 10:08pm
You should change to my gp, no worries of a crush there. I'm actually quite comfortable with my male doc but chose to see a female one recently for a pelvic exam, thing is the last three times I saw my doc I got my boobs out cos of masitis so I thought he might think I was some kind of weirdo who can't keep her clothes on. -------------
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 10:08pm
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I'm OK with gay/lesbian relationships - each to their own and as someone said it's no ones business but their own. As for being parents, I agree that its more important that the child is in a loving and caring home. I do think that same sex role models play a part in most children's upbringing - doesn't mean a parent, but uncle/aunty, close friend etc. Guess I'm a little influenced by a book I've been reading 'Growing Great Boys'.
PDAs - over the top displays are yuck, have no problems with the small gestures though ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 10:14pm
im fine with gay couples! in fact i think they are halerious!! they always seem to have great personalities..well the ones iv had the pleasure of knowing anyway my DH is a huge homophobic! and it drives me nutts!! funny how he LOVES the thought of lesbians though!!!???
Im like some of the others - i dont mind the PDAs as long as its kept to a minimum! which is what i think about straight couples too! I also think that thats awsome if they want to have kids and bring them up in a loving enviroment
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 10:29pm
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I spoke to my friend about this and she has a friend who is in a lesiban relationship and she has had 2 chidlren and her partner has had 1. She said the cost of them to get the children was something that they couldn't just wake up one morning and go lets have a child. OMG Amber my dad is like that to with gay men but woman are ok, its like WTF?!?!?! ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 10:30pm
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aww now see i dont mind pdas, even full on ones. i just think it is nice that some people are so happy they cant contain themselves. and i would hope to teach my girls that too.
we are hicks from a hick town, as when in wellington last my dh's eyes were on stalks most of the time, so many gay women couples holding hands and kissing in public... he kept wanting to follow them lol. i have no problem with gay parents, as long as they are happy, kids are happy. i think its better to have a gay couple modelling a healthy, happy relationship, than an unhappy hetero couple, or an unhappy hetero pair who have split and use the children they have together as ammunition against each other. i watched an awesome documentary on the doc channel about 2 men who were trying for a baby with a surrogate, they took their sperm and mixed it together, and turkey basted the surrogate until she fell pregnant. she miscarried and they were so devestated. they tried again and got their baby, both were at the (water, home birth) and were besotted with their little girl. it was magic to watch, i cried the whole way through. and they did dna tests to see who was the father, and then about 18 months later they tried again, using the non-bio dad's sperm with the same surrogate, and were blessed with another little girl. ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe -  my big 4 year old 
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 23 January 2008 at 10:35pm
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May as well give my 2cents worth.
I don't have any problems or opinions regarding peoples sexual orientation that's a private matter and up to them. I don't broadcast my sex life to anyone else so don't see that they should either. On the subject of same sex parents in theory I would see there isn't any problem with this either. However I do know of two women who have children together, (some are from a previous relationship and they had a son through Fertility Associates.) I do wonder if some of the problems they are having with their older teenage son are to do with being raised by two women and no dad around. I don't think it compares to being raised by a single parent either. This probably goes against my normally liberal views, but if by being in a same sex relationship means that you are lacking in the vital components (X and Y) to produce children, them that may suggest that you shouldn't have children. Once money comes into it children become a commodity. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 7:24am
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My viewpoint is pretty simple...
Biblically I don't agree with it. But I do have gay friends and I love them to death...they do know my biblical standpoint but they also know it doesn't change the fact that I still love them, it's something I've always been honest about. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 7:43am
two of mjy friends were gay one man one woman and are now married to each outher with two kids they are great renets and it donst relly matter weather people are gay or not all that matters is if they are good pernets i worked in bars and the number of times i have had to kicked out gay bashers before they were going to bash some poor gay guy or girl is unbeliveble ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 8:06am
Perhaps but you don't know that either. Sometimes problems occur just because of a childs friends choice or random other things. My parents have problems with my brother, it wouldn't have made a blind bit of difference what sex my parents are. - - - So many guys are always like that, like lesbians but not gays. My ex was like that, loved coming to stay at my house with anita and selena living there and playing around in the next room with paper thin walls but if he saw people "who looked gay" he got really sh*tty. |
Posted By: Parki
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 8:49am
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Well I can speak about this from experience.
My Mum is a lesbian and is 'married' to another woman. I can safely say that she is the coolest, most LOVING, caring, honest, generous, HAPPY, giving, woman I have ever come across and I can also assure you that neither me or my brother or sister are screwed up in anyway because of it. Through my Ma, I know a lot of gay/lesbian couples, some with children, some without. I know two couples, two gay man, the other two lesbian woman. One of the men & one of the woman REALLY wanted a child so they used the turkey baster method and now they have a gorgeous, happy little toddler who is adored by all them. While I had my own reservations about this at the time, after seeing him with his parents they melt away. Gay/Lesbian couples still have the abiltity to love and care for a child the same and inmany cases BETTER than some straight couples. I don't see a problem with it at all. I also disagree with the comment about two males having a girl and needing a females role model and vice versa. There a a million and one single parents out there who do not have role models of the opposite sex for their kids and they do fabulously. I don't think its fair that just becasue hetrosexual couples are seen as 'the norm' that they shoudl miss out on the good thinsg in life, like marriage and babies. They are people too with the same feelings.... Imagine being told you weren't allowed to have a baby or worse still, imagine people telling you that it is wrong to have a baby. Im glad as the years go by it is becoming a more accepted thing in society, its about time! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 10:25am
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I too can speak from experience. My mum came out as a lesbian when I was 15 and is still with the same partner almost 19 years later.
I can honestly say it was a tough road at the beginning. Not so much the lack of male contact or role models... My father was killed when I was 6, so it had mostly just been me, mum and my brother. What was hard was dealing with the gossip etc which was rife, given we lived in a small town. That would be the one downside to having two mums. The upside is having two loving and supportive parents, who were absolutely amazing with their blended family (mum's partner has three children as well). |
Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 10:51am
This is exactly how I feel on this subject. Why say it again you have put it perfectly Parki. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: hailstones
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 12:07pm
Same here ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 2:28pm
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And again.
I know a number of gay/lesbian people who have children. As long as they love their children and raise their children to be loving members of society, it matters not what their family is like. Funny that Barney said it best - A family is people and a family is love...they come in all different sizes and different shapes and mine's just right for me. it is when it isn't right that problems start - as someone mentioned the P babies etc. Now those kids are the ones that need people to worry about them, not those in loving families. -------------  
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 8:40pm
I am with paws on this one. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 9:24pm
LMAO Miss but so true good old Barney |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 24 January 2008 at 9:52pm
I am sure they would feel the same about my large naked arse as well.
------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 25 January 2008 at 8:56am
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I have nothing against gay and lesbian couples. My tutor when I was at hairdressing school was gay and he was SOO funny, he had me in stitches he was just so funny lol.
However, I dont really like seeing them...in "action" so to speak, like in public it sort makes me cringe when they kiss and stuff, but thats only cos im not gay so I dont see what they see, if that makes sense. Just like, they may find it gross when a man and women kiss.. Other than that, I have no probs, and I dont see why they cant be parents, you have single mums and single dads, so why can you have two mums or two dads, no differene really ------------- |
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 25 January 2008 at 9:29am
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I think that so long as child is loved and wanted then it doesnt matter whether it has 2 mums or 2 dads or 1 mum or 1 dad or any other combination. We have a lesbian family within our family with 4 girls, and although they still have a great relationship with their dad they also have a great relationship with their 2nd mum. We have also got quite a few gay / lesbian friends that are single or in long term relationships and to be honest I dont even view them as being any different to our other friends. I wouldnt ask (or think about) my other friends sexual activities so why would I do it with my gay friends? I enjoy their company and love them to bits, but we dont treat them any different because they are gay. Role models dont have to be parents, my dad wasnt around a lot so my brother didnt get him as a role model (and when he was around he wasnt a good role model) but we always had my uncle and my grandfathers to look up to as role models. I agree with Barney! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 25 January 2008 at 11:36am
ok a few of you said lesbians raising boys and no father around I think kels made a valid point:
Its not just kels in this position (and not meaning to single you out kels) I don't doubt for a moment that Alize (male or no male around) will turn out to be as well mannered and lovely as his sisters. So the difference of lesbians and kels - except for the obvious (kels not a lesbian that is) it is females raising males ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 25 January 2008 at 11:42am
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I also have gay and lesbian friends - I also have been to a civil union with my lesbian friends which didnt seem weird. They are bringing up a teenage boy and he is really nice - hes always polite to me and others. and as far as I know he doesn't get into trouble at school etc.... hes the same age as Josh.
I also know a gay guy and a lesbian who had a child together (oh the modern world ) and hes a great dad. They have shared custody and the little girl is very rounded little girl.
So nope no worries here for me - although yeah seeing anybody PDA (over the top that is - holding hands don't bother me) ------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 25 January 2008 at 8:31pm
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No problem with it at all.
Like others have said, worse hetero couples out there raising kids! It's about the people, not the sexuality. |