What do you argue about?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=13946
Printed Date: 02 October 2025 at 1:38pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: What do you argue about?
Posted By: Maya
Subject: What do you argue about?
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 7:45pm
|
What do you and DH/DP argue about?
Willie and I hardly ever argue, it seems to be only when we are tired/frustrated/hot/kids are playing up. We had a big blow up this afternoon coz I asked him to cook mushrooms for dinner (he does them a special way) and I was trying to make salad and the kids were under our feet so I asked Maya to take the gremlins into the lounge and she erupted so the gremlins started howling then Willie started yelling at me that it's not fair to expect a 4 year old to look after the babies, even tho all I asked was her to take them out of the kitchen and play with them so I yelled back and so on and so on. But it got me to wondering, what do other couples argue about? We never argue about serious stuff like money, trust etc. coz we're both pretty independent and trust each other, we just seem to argue about petty, stupid stuff. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Replies:
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 7:57pm
|
We don't tend to argue at all. Occasionally when we are both stressed we might snip at each other, but we stop it pretty qucikly and get out what is the problem.
Neither of us like arguing at all, so we pretty quickly learnt to share things honestly as the alternative is bottling it all up which isnt any good either! -------------  
|
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 7:59pm
|
Yep us too. silly little stuff, mostly over pretty quickly cos we tell each other to pull our heads in and usually the other ends ina bit of a huff but sees the point once they're a bit more level-headed. Never in front of the kids, especially in regards to the princess parenting thing (oooh my god if he was any tighter wound round their fingers they'd fall off!) cos it just feeds into the knowledge that they can get mummy and daddy to disagree.
Mainly disagreements about fairness and parenting. ie.. mike says yes, never says no really, I am the mean mum who has some idea of trying to have a few more rules, and yeah sometimes he does pull me up when i am unreasonable but lately it's been a fair bit more and feels like he's undermining me - ie Paris now looks straight to him instead of actually doing what i ask, she stops and waits to see if he'll bail her out. To which i enlightened him and told him to stop treating her so much like a princess. Ie: when my sis was down recently i decided we'd take her kids to the movies as a shout for their birthdays (one turned 13 that day the other has birthday in march and i won't see her) i said to paris that because it was going to cost a fair amount for movies, that we'd get lollies and a big thing of popcorn from the supermarket and we'd take our own instead of paying $8 for a skimpy thing of popcorn each. I then have her telling me the next day that She will be getting movie popcorn, because dad told her supermarket stuff is gross and that he'll buy her movie stuff cos it's better. I went off my nut at him cos 1, I had already told her that was how it was going to be, and 2, out of fairness to the other kids I told him under no circumstances would he be doing that, yep when it's just us fine, but after paying out close to $70 just on tickets for us, they could make do with supermarket popcorn, especially since I'm the only breadwinner in the house right now so money is kinda stretched during study break, he's got expensive tastes and tends not to worry much about money, till it's all gone and he asks me for more. (see, silly little things) oh, that and disagreements about my incessant needs to have a baby even though in my head i can plan it all out what we're supposed to be doing in the next few years and it doesn't pan out and it would be so expensive and i know he'd not be happy. I tried to explain to him that i have no idea why i want one i just do, and well, that didn't wash. So again, we are back to the no more babies thing. ARGH i give up. Something we're never going to agree on, and in our disagreemnt on that he wins out really. I shouldn't be angry at him, but i am - he's sensible and down to earth and i still have head in clouds and it's nearly a year on. so yes a bone of contention there. lol and the laptop debate... he Needs one apaprently, lol I think not. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
|
Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 8:13pm
| Emma, it seems we are similar on that count - it is almost always little things and there are always other factors too. Can't actually recall having had any super duper argy bargy blowups, although one incident comes to mind where he wasn't listening to what I had to say in a calm and patient manner and therefore I got quite upset (long ish story) and it wasn't until I was an absolute mess that he seemed to snap out of it and listen to me - and my fuzzy memory tells me that was about a year ago at that. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 8:23pm
|
LOL Pearls I remember when Willie and I hadn't spoken to each other for days, can't remember why but something stupid, and he was sleeping in the spare room and I went in at 1am to talk to him coz I wanted to sort things out and you could see he wasn't listening to a word I was saying, he was sitting there trying to work out how long he had to listen for before I'd let him get his leg over. Men!
Janine - the baby thing is a hard one. Willie was adamant no more after the gremlins (and who can blame him, I was a complete wreck for 18 months) and I felt this desperate need to have another baby to 'fix' eveything that went wrong last time with bonding etc. We did eventually agree on one more, altho not quite as soon as it happened! I hope you and Mike can come to a resolution that you are both happy with. Much as I despise Little Treasures, there was a great quote in their latest issue - "you never regret the kids you have, you regret the ones you DON'T have". LOL at the popcorn thing tho, Mike and Willie sound sooo alike. I am the Big Bad Wolf. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 8:37pm
|
Well we have been arguing all week I think basically it's because I have been tired and I get at Jesse because sometimes as it seems he pretty much for example he eats all, of James' food and gets all testy when I pick him up on it but when I have only had 4 hours sleep and trying to get James' lunch ready for daycare and there's nothing really to give him i get a little sh*tty.
He just thinks about himself but of course it is my fault and I'm always in the wrong and the sun shines out of his ar$se apparently and also it's because I get quite grumpy the week before AF arrives this makes me sound like a right Bit%h. Probably not the best time to write this post. But other than that we get on really well 90% of the time I try to not snap at him and talk to him about stuff but he gets quite defensive just things we really have to work on is communication I guess. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 8:47pm
|
Oooh us too on the food thing, altho it's more the mess he leaves in the kitchen when he gets up for work at 4am and then I get up at 7am with the kids to find empty corned beef tins and raw onion etc. on my kitchen bench while the girls are all hollering for breakfast. Generally tho I'm over it by the time he gets home lol. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 8:48pm
|
We don't argue much but according to DH I nag him a lot...not sure about that. I have been on a diet for the last couple of weeks and AF is due any day so that has made me very grumpy and picky...probably equals nagging!
|
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 8:59pm
|
We hardly ever argue, in fact the 8 years that we've been together, I can't really remember us having a real doozy.
Until yesterday. I found some photos of him and a girl at BDO and she is gorgeous, young, blonde and they looked really good together. I was so angry and so sad, it kind of gave me a wake up call, that maybe I'm holding him back. I'm 7yrs older than him, and I think he misses his old life. I lost the plot out of jealousy etc; as a result we aren't talking, we went to bed angry and he's gone to a stag do, and I am dreading him coming home. The stuff that we do tend to niggle about is his parents. Their attitude to Conor, in fact his whole families attitude to Conor. But that's another long sad story. We also niggle about his and Conor's relationship. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
|
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 9:03pm
|
lol ok you girls are going to laugh at me probably, but i get grumpy because mike's so organised,
I work lots, and i mean LOTS, for example the last month or so i have done so many afternoons that I can't really remember the last sit down family meal we had as just us... I'm either Alone at home while he's out on a saturday night, or we have a few hours together either end of the day around my work hours where we try to catch up on housework, and sleeeeeep, or he's alone at home with the kids (another arguement for not wanting another since he does the main caregiver thing, fair enough). So he's stepped up, but whoa, he puts huge expectations on himself (he says he feels he has to make up for the fact that he's not working) he does the dishes a certain way, he has a system for hanging out the washing, he doesn't want me to do things in case i "do them wrong" I mean WTF, how is there a wrong way for hanging out washing each to their own and i feel he's becomming a desperate housewife., he just does things without having to be asked, and i mean all the time. He knows more about what's going on at daycare, and even down to the fact of i got up first the other morning and let him have a sleep in day, ayja had a big tanty so i gave her brekkie and left her to it, wasn't going to bother with the trying-to-get-dressed battle before i had to. He got up at 10am, and immediately was like "why isn't she dressed, when i have them i like to make sure they're dressed first then i do this this this and this" I felt like he was telling me i had no idea and didn't know how to look after my own kids!!! I sometimes feel that my role as a mum has been filled by him, I feel that the purpose in my life is gone cos he does it all. Stupid probably i know, but it's horrible feeling like i have no idea. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
|
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 9:10pm
|
We argee over the little things - but it has been 3 weeks since one We mainly argue over the house work (I like to leave it to the night time and do it all at once, he likes it done in the morning). ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 9:10pm
| house-work...oh and cleaning, and sometimes for fun we argue about housework. |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 9:13pm
|
lol forgot to say though, i love him for it, i love i don't have to battle to get him to do it. I'm just a bit of a sooky-la whinger, lol ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
|
Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 9:29pm
|
We fight over big stress like money etc. even tho he in charge of it jsut the way I like it I still can't seem to let go I feel like I need to be in control.
Oh and lately my driving again tho he makes some pretty valid point's. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
|
Posted By: baalamb
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 9:36pm
I can't post in here because DH lurks  HAHAHA no, we don't argue much at all. Usually, it's about insignificant little things that matter at the time but blow over after a couple of hours, if not minutes.
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 9:44pm
|
LOL Janine, I feel your pain! Willie just had a weeks holiday from work and much as I love him and it's bee great being able to sleep in while he gets the girls up and he's been a legend with looking after them, I am SO ready to send him back to work and regain control! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 9:47pm
So should we all be sayig hi to Krsten' DH. I would love DH to lurked now and then just get a btter idea that I not as abnormal has he seem's to think I am. LOL ------------- Deborah Mum to:
|
baalamb wrote:Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 10:01pm
|
DH and I dont really fight about much , we have disagreements where we have our say and huff under our breaths and then both wander onto a different much calmer topic which defuses the situation.
If we have big fights its usually about BIG things such as money etc. Im a grumpy huffy person who has to have things my way and DH is a calm/doesnt like to fight kid of person so i usually blow my fuse and he calms me down and then its all over (about half hour all round! lol) |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 10:19pm
Must be the day for it, Emma  ------------- |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 26 January 2008 at 11:46pm
|
We dont have arguments really, more discussions... Usually about me feeling like I am a slave around here (how hard is it to put your dishes in the dishwasher?!), him spending too much time doing stuff for other people/car stuff, and occassionally money, tho thats usually more if we are both stressed about it not cos one of us spends a lot. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 12:33am
We don't normally argue that much...more just bicker over silly little things...normally when he has said something in a totally guy way that comes out completely wrong and in a way that offends us females!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 1:25am
|
We don't really argue either. In fact hardly ever.
The one thing we've argued lately over has been Gina's lack of sleeping and how to handle it - still sorting this out but it has been left up to me to handle so no more arguing. Mind you it's me that's awake at 1am now!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 4:41am
We are such geeks- our main arguments are about politics, philosophy, society and race  DH was raised by very conservative, uneducated close minded people where as my parents are both very educated and liberal thinking so we have some very heated debates! I LOVE it I don't think of myself as an argumentative person but I find it so stimulating arguing these kind of things with him.
Our proper, real life arguments were always about money- since we've been over here its not an issue anymore so life is pretty peachy  We disagree about little things but our arguments are few and far between- when we do have them its usually about his family or me not getting my own way about something.------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
|
Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 8:52am
| Now there's a good point Jennz, we 'debate' similar kinds of things here too, but I wouldn't call them arguments - our latest one was over whether NZers should have "the right to bear arms" after those beatings on the North Shore in Auckland. |
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 9:39am
Housework and money mostly. Money arguements are getting fewer and fewer but division and completion of household tasks is causing a few problems atm.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: hooper
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 10:02am
|
[Paws] We don't normally argue that much...more just bicker over silly little things...normally when he has said something in a totally guy way that comes out completely wrong and in a way that offends us females!
Yep same here for me and my DP. ------------- Desiree 
|
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 12:29pm
| money here, he thinks because he works for the money he should get most of it. I only ask for money to buy the kids stuff never for myself while he has a $10k car sitting in the garage that he is always buying bits for, its wheels are worth more than my whole car but he thinks he deserves it because he works. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 3:46pm
|
DP and i argue over really silly little things as well, so silly and little that i dont even remember them
Emma , i never knew you hated little treasures.... |
Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 4:12pm
|
All sorts. The sorts of things that we 'find' to argue about change all the time though. We've argued about dishes, washing, money, cars, jobs, all sorts....... I think because we've argued about, learnt from it, come to a happy median and moved on.
DH was a single person for a long time and I'm a worse case scenario Taurus!! Arguing is healthy in my opinion as you're challenging each other but also learning from each other. I think when you have an argument over something with someone you should be learning just as much about them as you are about yourself. We always argue with a respect for each other if that makes sense?? When I'm grumpy and tired I always warn DH and vice versa by simply saying I'm tired and grumpy so you have to love me lots tonight. That way we don't bring up anything 'challenging' like mowing lawns, doing dishes or anything that could be taken as criticism when you're already feeling grouchy. |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 4:43pm
|
We don't really argue over much, we do sometimes get on each others nerves when we are tired, hungry or hot. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 5:24pm
|
Yeah Aprilfools, I agree that arguing can be healthy. So long as you can fight fair and there's an end to the argument, it can turn out to be a good thing! We argue about renovations (yes, I can sense some of you rolling your eyes!) and also about DH charity-working on so many other people's houses instead of ours... and I'm not saying that I'm always right in these arguments either. We see money issues differently, and did right from the start, so every now and then something will pop up about that and we'll have a doozy. But something I really appreciate about DH is that if an issue needs to be worked through he'll usually go there rather than brush it under the carpet and hope for the best. We're fiesty, but that works for us. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 7:17pm
|
Ah yes Andie, the feisty redheads - just wait till Ella gets older!
LOL Kelly, nope I'm not their biggest fan to say the least ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 8:07pm
|
Not much, have argued about money in the past when things have been tight, but normally is just stupid things like whose turn it is to make the tea... ------------- 
 
|
Posted By: 3boys
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 8:07pm
|
I also find Little Treasures a little hard to swallow!
Anyway - we don't fight that much, but when I was prego with Cohen and he had been having a bit too much fun at golf (came home plonked and I was totally OTP emo) I let rip. I don't want to give away too many details, buts lets say he didn't appreciate potato salad all over his golf clubs! I can laugh now, but I the time I though they should have arrested me for having a third child when I was a total wreck already with two.... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 8:36pm
|
[QUOTE=Maya]Ah yes Andie, the feisty redheads - just wait till Ella gets older! And I'm loving the potato salad move BTW! He he he ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Tricia
Date Posted: 27 January 2008 at 8:40pm
|
We don't really argue but DH gets really annoyed at nearly every other car driver on the road! From the minute we set off anywhere he starts whinging about them all! Drives me mad!!
Then when he gets together with his Dad he has the same conversation again!!!! Arrgghh!! Love him to bit though:) |