When people drive you nuts
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1427
Printed Date: 12 September 2025 at 5:44pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: When people drive you nuts
Posted By: Paws
Subject: When people drive you nuts
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 11:44am
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Does anyone else find it totally infuriating and hard to keep your cool when people argue with you as to why thier advice is better??
I don't mind getting advice but I don't think I particularly like the feeling of it being rammed down the throat... This particular incident began because I said yes we are going to find out what the gender is...it's our preference...some people don't want to find out when they are pregnant and that's fine too...just not our choice. So why do people feel the need to argue with you as to why you MUST NOT find out?? Must Not?? MUST NOT?? Since do others get to tell me what I MUST NOT do?? 
If I'm not endangering my child I'll make whatever choices I sodding want! I'm dreading what else they will come up with in the coming months! Right rant over. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 11:59am
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Oh i TOTALLY KNOW!!!!!!!!!! its makes me sooo mad but i turn around and say finding out the sex isnt the surprise for me its finding out what the baby looks like when its born, etc etc
Its gets worse when you start to decide on names lol people are so rude and critical 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 12:00pm
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And that's why we are not coughing up our names! (yes we have favourites that we have talked about for some time before we were pregnant and no one is knowing them!) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 12:03pm
| Yep im just saying that we are choosing a bunch of names but not deciding until baby is born, and if they ask i say NEH! lol |
Posted By: preggy_sunflower
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 12:30pm
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Very wise idea chicks! I made the stupid mistake of including my MIL in on our thoughts on names - talk about opinionated!! Every single name was thrown back at us, and now I'm so mad with her (for other things as well but thats a whole other story!!) and I'm not going to see her again til she apologises for upsetting me. Keep it all to yourselves and remember - it's YOUR baby, and you can make whatever decisions you think are best without ANY consultation with anyone else!! ------------- Joshua Hadynn - Born 3 May 2006 |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 12:30pm
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And it doesnt stop once baby is born unfortunately... ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 12:37pm
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we had lots off opinions on whether or not we should find out the sex of our baby, and i bascially just said to them, its our choice not theirs, and if they dont want to know what the sex is then dont ask...that normally always got them going... "Oh no we want to know"
As for the name of the baby, people have asked and we have told them, but no one has had an opinion either way. I have actually found that people having opinions is not the worst, its when complete strangers come up to me and go oh your pregnant and then proceed to touch my stomach, and being the type of person i am i dont tolerate that very well, and i actually say to them to please stop touching and to step back out of my personal space. for some reason complete strangers seem to think its there right to touch and tell you whats best for you.. oh well thats my rant...lol ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 12:59pm
| Oh im so investing in a shirt that says "DONT TOUCH ME" or "DONT TOUCH THE BUMP" lol i found a cool american site that does heaps of them incl "If you think my mum is cute wait till you see me" or something like that lol |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 1:03pm
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Besides, most people find out the sex these days anyways. I don't get what the big deal is! Trying to buy everything in white, yellow and green is a mission as there is so little nice unisex stuff out there. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 1:04pm
 OMG Kazzle - you have complete strangers gropping at your belly?!?!? I would have to reply to them by proceding to grope their butts... and when they question your actions just say "oh it was sticking out too, so I thought I'd return the gesture - you can get meds for that rash ya know"  Or do I just have a warped sense of humour?!?! hee hee
Paws - we've decided that we want to find out what flavour bun is in the oven too and when people question our decision I just say that I would rather refer to my child by it's name, and not "it" so there! lol------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 1:16pm
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That is something I said....i hate saying "it" or tongue twisting myself saying "the baby"...I would love to be able to say he or she even if we are not 100% decided on the name yet... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 1:55pm
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You guys still get a suprise about the sex, just a little earlier than otherwise!
My best advice (oooo, more of what you don't need!) is to just ignore people like that. They can't really argue when you have nothing to say to them! |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 2:18pm
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iagree with nicki ignore them who r they anyway i use to get people up and rubbing my tummy and i just use to walk away i just couldnt be bothed saying anything and when people ask what name i chosses they had a oppion about that aswell i just use too say its my body and my baby and my desion ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 2:19pm
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Acutally that is good advice! I might even put that one in my pregnacy journal! (got a really nice Anne Geddes one).
And it works....I stopped talking to them and it all wore off. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 2:41pm
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Give them something to play with and it will take their minds off it lol just like cats and kids
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Posted By: AnnaD
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 2:59pm
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ARGH!! Complete strangers touching your belly!! I used toget that too, shop assistants even?! How rude!! I don't try to feel your boobs!
That used to serious get on my nerves!! And I used to find complete strangers would practically corner me to find out details: 'when are you due?' and 'oh really? your HUGE!!!'. And another thing thatused to get on my nerves re finding out the sex: we did but andy's parents didn't want to know. That is fine but I hated having to remember that I couldn't refer to Quinn as 'he' while they were there. Just a small niggle but it was so hard on my poor preggy brain! And then when I was about eight months it slipped out in front of his mother and sister and they were sooooo disappointed!! Not that he was a boy but that it wasn't a surprise!! ------------- Anna and Quinn 10 July 2004 www.quinnariki.blogspot.com and one more on the way.... http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 3:03pm
| I never got people touching my belly. Maybe I had that psycho pregnant lady look about me? |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 3:11pm
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If you did can you teach it to the rest of us?
Funny things is I offered not to tell them the sex but they all want to know if I know! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 3:25pm
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i think the only way to deal with it is to tell people no dont touch me or bump just before they do they might get effored but its your body and your baby and they can rub your belly if they ask ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: fairsk8
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 3:38pm
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I wish i had had the psycho pregnant lady look about me, because it used to really annoy me when complete strangers rubbed my bump. I am a big one for personal space, even my partner used to ask if he could touch bump. When preggy xanda was just known as bump because we did not find out the sex, but that was my decision as i wanted to be surprised. The lady who did the scan wrote it down and put it in an envelope and my partner had a look 3wks before Xanda was born, but that was his decision and i let him because it his baby as well. I figured he could keep it secret for 3wks and not let it slip to me. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
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Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 3:51pm
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ooohhhhh i too have a large personal space area and hated ppl touching my belly. It wasnt actually strangers as I lived in such a small place but ppl I didnt know that well or didnt like. And they used to do it for ages.... i was like you wana a seat and coffee while you doing that?????
Also re the name thing when mum was preg with me her SIL was a month or 2 ahead of mum and they were discussing names. Mum told her if I was a girl she was gona name me Kelly Marie. Well mums SIL had her baby a girl and named her Kelly Sheree. How rude is that esp since we had the last name!!!! Mum was gutted but she loved the name Kelly so much she ended up calling my brother Kelly. ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: kasbee
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 3:58pm
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Different people have different opinions especially MIL's, mine included. Sometimes it just drives me insane. It seems to be the whole "I have had 3 children so i know what i'm talking about". Yeh that was 20 yrs ago and times have changed. Sorry just had to put that in. Just do what you want try not to worry about what other people have to say. ------------- Kelly, mother to 4 wonderful children. http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 4:12pm
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ooooh and another couple of things I found COMPLETE random strangers used to get on their high opinionated horses aobut was weather or not i was going to have pain relief (to which I always said well, I never had a fillng without it, so I will have to see)and immunisation. Funny how such personal things become public forum!! We were going to call Jacob Jed, I mentioned it was one of our boys names, and people were just plain rude about it! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Sarah Beth
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 4:13pm
| I have to admit that I love touching pregnant lady's bellies, but not strangers, and not without being invited, who would just assume it is OK and walk on up and touch it, that is just weird! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 4:15pm
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Oooh, and another one is nappies. If you say cloth, then people rabbit on about water and detergent etc, but if you say disposables then they also rabbit on about rubbish and landfills and money... You cant win. Have come to the conclusion not to tell anybody (esp parents and inlaws) anything and if they ask tell them what they want to hear even if its a lie - just so much asier!!
BTW Annie, I like the name Jed.  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 5:01pm
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Me too. Might use it when Tui has puppies if we don't get another boy baby next time. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: AnnaD
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 5:04pm
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I went to school with a Jed and he was HOT!!
And CRIKEY, re the opinions with immunisation!!! I have my opinions re this and amhappy with my choices, but people (and MY MUM) seem to think i am wrong!! And have no probs lecturing me about it!! ------------- Anna and Quinn 10 July 2004 www.quinnariki.blogspot.com and one more on the way.... http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 5:56pm
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We haven't really encountered any issues yet about finding out the gender, anyone who asks simply gets told that I'm not patient enough to wait until baby is born - and anybody who knows me even just a little seems to realise this !
And when I start getting bigger, I don't think I'd be able to handle people randomly touching the bump at all ! I'm likely to really growl them out, or at the very least snap "Would you mind not doing that !?!?"  ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 8:06pm
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I went to the supermarket with Taine today and had FIVE complete strangers coming up to me "ooh, he should be wearing a hat dear", "nasty weather for such a wee mite", "do you need me to ring you a taxi"
I wanted to say piss off, but of course i have a touch mroe decorum |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 8:22pm
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LOL liz, I hate that! I was just parking my trolly up beside my car and unlocking the door to put JJ in car, when this BUSYBODY came along and said "the sun is getting in his eyes" like I was leaving him there to get burnt retinas. I said to her yes I know, I'm doing it on purpose. She took off fairly fast..Seriously, how retarded do people thing mums nd mums to be are???? ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 9:01pm
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try this ladies - if someone touches your bump - grab their tummy back - they'll look at you all weird! or get really offended - which is when you can say that you feel exactly the same way - and being preg gives them no right to do that to you! lolol... it's also a real laugh!
We found what Ayja was, but kept it to ourselves - and everyone made a point of TRYING to find out - trying to trick us into telling second guessing our every move - i went as far as to hide everything i got for her that wasn't neutral - i didn't make up the cot till the last minute and once i put all the baby clothes in the drawers i got mike to turn it so the handles were jammed hard against the wall so no-one could open it and peek without a huge amount of effort - and they got really miffed with me. but we found out FOR US not for them! we told 2 people, my sis, and mikes mum.. but he kept sharing our names with his mum and she would say if she did or didn't like them. i had been pretty sure on Coral for name until she said it was an old ladies name - fair enough i am happy that we named Ayja what we did because it is so her but it's the principle! In terms of "helpful"  advice, i have had a few people working at the hospital when i'm out on placement say to me "oh, i couldn't leave my babies like you do, i don't know how you do it" well, that's great, but if i don't finish i'll end up sitting at home, we'll be poor as heck and i'll be as depressed as i was when i took time off after having paris - no thanks!. I miss my kids, immensly - so very very bad, and it is bad enough that from most nurses offices on the wards in palmy hospital i can see right accross town to ucol and see mikes work and know my babies are just there, and i can't go to them, but yeah, ok, just make it worse by reminding me of that and making me feel bad for wanting to better myself so my kids don't miss out. ARGH!------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 24 January 2006 at 10:02pm
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yeah gotta love those busy bodies who like to "comment" about returning to work. my coffee group bully was a shocker.
Thing is, its such a personal thing, the returning to work thing, and its not something most people enter into lightly, and its blimmin hard to be seperated from your bubba. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving my part time work, but by 1pm I am fair GAGGING to see JJ! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 January 2006 at 9:39am
| It's funny as I kinda wish I was working sometimes.....not that i don't love being with Jake, and taine, but sometimes they are a handful and I'd love to get away for a few hours...oh well, grass is always greener and such huh! |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 25 January 2006 at 10:07am
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NOONE ever tried to touch my bump. Not even anyone in my family... I guess maybe I really am scary like Nikki thinks!?
I hate all the advice too. Peter came home from work telling me what his 60 year old secretary was telling him we should do with Joey.... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 January 2006 at 9:27pm
| My grandfather was giving me wonderful adive like "you should watch jake when he goes swimming. Children can drown"...reallY? cause i was planning just to let nature take its course - survival of the fittest and all! |
Posted By: Xander&Harmony
Date Posted: 27 January 2006 at 7:57am
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janine,u told 3 people.I was the third remember lololol ------------- BECS http://www.sparklee.com"> 
Angel Baby 10/07/09 (10wks4days) |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 27 January 2006 at 8:53pm
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oh yeah that's right! lol and you even knew the name - i really should have told Liz too - shewent a bit batty there trying to figure it out for a while! lolol ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 27 January 2006 at 9:02pm
| it was actually quite fun. Odd that i was more obsessed with finding out your baby's sex and name, than my own!! |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 28 January 2006 at 9:20am
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I had an old know it all come up to me yesterday and say "Isn't it a bit tight under your baby's chin?" (meaning the front pack) I said "Pardon?" (even though I had heard her darn well!) so she repeated it and I just said "No, it's fine" aaaaarrrrgh, can't people just mind their own business!!!???? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 28 January 2006 at 9:48am
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yep there are always people like that. Man if looks could Kill........ I really got sick of the know it alls when Jayde was sick. Mind you i got very good at handing her over and saying you think you can fix her go for it. It was amazing how quickly she got given back to me. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 January 2006 at 3:57pm
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i never minded people touching my tummy,perhaps becoz i took so long to show when random strangers touched my stomach it was like i really was pregnant.
Yeah advise can be irritating but i guess they mean well even if it is annoying "be careful whose advise u buy but be patient with those who supply it , advise is a form of nostalgia and dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal,wiping it off painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth." lol |