any ideas?
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Topic: any ideas?
Posted By: ElfsMum
Subject: any ideas?
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 9:29am
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right monday night..Ethan slept through waking every three-four hours and that was fine..this continued all day until 830pm last night then he only slept 12-1, 2-4 and 625-850 and now asleep again. I realise he's way too little to be in a routine but i did nothing different those nights but last night at 1am nothing would settle him except continual feeding(even though he was full half the time) ?? in the end at 625 i put him in his bouncy day sleeper..then woke at 7 in a panic as i could see the blanket but not him..he had just slipped a little under it..but that set me off oh my goodness what if it had of ended up over his face.. just because i was so tired and i went to sleep:( but he was fine.. (just felt guilty for putting a big blanket on him i guess :(
anyway is that normal that he changes day to day so much...? Dh complaining today that he had no sleep(he was awake 1-2 so he slept 11-1 then -630....umm hello who had no sleep:( mw supposed to come yesterday but didn't show..typical as yesterday such a good day!:( also any advice on milk flow..i will get up an soak right through several towels..and sometimes him with the side that i dont use for latching at the mo.. its horrible:( how do i get the supply to go down:( and now he is asleep and was totally full before i put him to sleep but still wanted the dummy to suck on to sleep..is that normal? (i used to HATE dummies)!! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Replies:
Posted By: monster
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 9:49am
Change is normal It takes a while for babies to get a sense of night and day - remember he is still only little and just starting to get used to being out of the womb.
PS - you might want to post this type of question in the first babies section. -------------   
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 9:58am
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Hey kawww big hugs, everything worries me about kylah lol..dont feelbad, lil Ethan is ok. Try asking this in the first baby section, heaps more people might see it and be able to help. Cant wait to meet the lil man! ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: Smartmum
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:02am
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Do you wrap him in a swaddle? so he is nice and tight....
Do you keep the curtains open during the day and close them at night, it will take a while but he will get used to the difference. Dont talk to him during the night feeds, this will stimulate him and he will think it's playtime. Tell your husband to complain to someone else! 
Use the dummy, and throw out all ideas you had before baby was born..... Buckle down the hatches and rest during the day as much as you can, you never know what night-time will bring.....you will find it could take a couple of months to get a routine of any sort, try and relax and just do what you both need! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:05am
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All sounds totally normal, they are totally random little creatures.
As for the milk going off on the side you aren't feeding that will calm down but it does take a while. I felt permanetly drenched for the first month. I have some collection cups that you can use I will bring them round. I use to get about 40ml just from leakage and then freeze it in ice cube trays, save wasting it. (although sometimes I would have so much I would overfill the cups  ).
I also found it handy to put a towel all around ready before latching on so that if he messed around or pulled off the towel would soak up the spray rather than my clothes and the sofa. Honest though it does calm down in the end, just be happy that you have too much milk rather than not enough that would be far worse. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:08am
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You are doing really well Kawww.
Babies change what they do everyday even though we do the same thing. He is still very young and still adjusting to life outside the womb so even little changes that we dont notice can be very unsettling for them. Just give it a chance and things will improve. Bella was terrible in the first couple of weeks with sleep and now I get 9hrs straight at night 
Also, the continual feeding may be comfort sucking (he just wants to be close to you because that is where he feels safe and secure). ------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:08am
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I use the dummy to settle and my wee man can be completely full and still needs it. Its a comfort thing and they also associate sucking with sleeping....just be thankful it's a dummy and not your boob! -------------  
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:15am
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monster..sorry..can it be moved...see half asleep! cuppatea...it just sucks...i know i should be thankful..but that coupled with everything else at 2am is too much.. yeah smartmum...i nearly told him to $%^& off and i never ever speak to him like that.. !
it will soak through the towel in about 5 mins:( poor Ethan's little leg gets wet! topsy..so how do i know the difference..he still seems to do the same signs...when comfort or hungry.. how did you get 9 hours a night?:) peanut yes i am....but o keep getting told not to use it...:( LC said it can indicate a problem with feeding:( but it's ok for ten mins of settling... as far as day and night yes i do all those things..though in depseration Dh was singing and talking and everything today i was like...ugh....stop it's 2am.. don't be so interactive at night time.!!! he told me off for crying...'why are you crying you haven't done anything wrong...'' MEN! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:23am
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All sounds normal Kawwww and dont worry about the milk supply.....eventually you stop leaking......eventually (and then every now and then out of the blue you do again WTF?).
You will soon work out that these little creatures are one up on us in that they own the instruction manual.....its a game they play. Get mummy relaxed and feeling kinda in control and then,.....CHANGE THE RULES on her. Little buggers. Rememebr they are little men and like to think that they are in control....but really we still are. And yes, I thought the same thing.....time to venture out of the preggy section into the big world of first/second babies
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Posted By: MonicaMouse
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:26am
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I know I went thru a couple of periods similar to yours when B was about the same age as Ethan. You've probably heard it all before, but a couple of things which helped me out - especially when I seemed to be feeding for half the day was to remember that babies hit regular growth spurts and want to feed a lot more (2,4,6 & 12 weeks if I remember). My wee guy also feed a lot more when it was/is warm, and during the evenings due to lower fat content in BM.
Hang in there, as the others have said, things settle down. I second the idea of the collection cups. If I'm overful on the morning because B has slept late, I often express 10 - 20 mls just to relieve the pressure and so latching doesn't niggle quite as much, good time to start stockpiling the freezer. ------------- 
Blair 15/10/2007 Daniel 30/07/2009 |
Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:28am
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hey kawww - don't expect to get 9 hours a night yet!! He is only just over a week old - the longest Luke was doing at that age was 4 hours... he increased each week, and now does around 9 hours as well.... but never that little.
Milk supply is a funny thing... if you don't want to waste the milk that is leaking while you are feeding him, you can buy these little milk catcher things - they are made by avent - should be at your local baby factory/city. I still leak now, at night and when I feed Luke - just not in between times... ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids 
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:29am
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huh - I miseed cuppateas comment about the collection cups - these are the same idea... ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:29am
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Yes we were the same quite often after a feed I would have to change my clothes and his clothes and clean the sofa and that was with using the towel, and it made me absolutely miserable, so as far as i'm concerned you have the right to give the hump about it or cry about it if that's what you feel like doing. A good cry helps sometimes.
Unfortunately hungry and tired signs are very similar and it can make it difficult to know which is what, one of my worse mistakes in those first couple of months was thinking he was hungry when he was tired. I can't really think of any advice to give it is just a matter of learning his signs really and building up the confidence to think "no you are not hungry you are tired and you are gonna go to bed". Like I say it was 2 months before I got to that stage. -------------
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Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:33am
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The other thing that my mum told me about leaking is that often if you can put pressure on the nipple that is leaking (with another hand) then it lessens the leaking - it seems to mostly work with me now. ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:37am
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problem with expressing is i have to steralise the hand pump which i cant do with one hand or while h's crying:( he wont latch on teh left side which is probably why it leaks so much i guess...i express every second time but didnt last night or this morning..just trying to figure out how to have a shower before Mum gets here at 1245..lol
bel no i dont expect 9....4 at night would be great..he does 4 during the day all the time:(! 2 months:) seems so far away.. but i know ..i will get there..i can see why people give up bfing at this stage that's for sure:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:39am
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bel thanks..i will try that.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:41am
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Yeah but that whole 2 months wasn't as bad as the first few weeks, cos we had got night and day sorted (still only doing 3 hours at night but that was cos he is so ickle), so it was just in the day that I was creating myself problems really and each day would be different some we would get right and then others would be a total mother and he would be up all day, but it was me miss reading his signs, once I realised that and worked on it got better and by 3 months we were in a roughish routine.
Remember 9 months seemed like forever but now you have a baby. So 2 months might sound like ages but before you know it you will be there. Just take each feed and each sleep one at a time, don't look at days or weeks or months, just what you are doing right now. -------------
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 10:47am
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yes thats a good point.. 9 months did seem like forever so i can do 2 months.. *goes to put him into his bed so she can have a shower*:)
Mum's coming to visit today..you are coming tomorrow.. so got some stuff to look forward too.. wonder how long before I can walk around the block:) ! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 11:09am
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Kawww those first few weeks are extremely tough and nothing can prepare you for it. Just hang in there, time will fly by so fast and when you start getting more sleep, smiles, and the hang of things you will see why you had this little baby I can remember being where you are now thinking how hard it was and now for me things are improving heaps
As for the comfort sucking, it is when the do the stop start sucking rather than the continual sucking. I unlatch and burp when Bella starts doing that (burping frees up room in their tummy) and then give more boob until the comfort sucking starts again. Then I know she is full. I am no expert but that is what works for me. Bella was a real comfort sucker in those early weeks and I spent continual hours on the couch thinking she was hungry because she kept showing me hungry signs (which were probably tired signs). As for getting 9hrs of sleep( she has only been doing it for the past week but was getting 6 or 7 before that), I didnt do anything special at all apart from a bedtime routine- feed, bath, massage, change her into bedtime clothes, feed topup(with EBM) then bed. Also, once he works out his night and day he should settle much more quickly at night. If I do have to get up now it takes 15mins max to feed and put her bed and she falls asleep straight away. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 11:09am
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a trick to the shower thing (coz I couldnt stand leaving him crying - pushover!) was to put him in a bouncer and put that in the bathroom with you. You can pull faces and sing silly songs etc while you get your shower. No its not relaxing butits less guilty.
The other option is wait till your Mum comes round. dump ethan on her and hit the shower for a LONG TIME!!! |
Posted By: rosewood
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 11:13am
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Growth spurts happen so much in the first weeks, months... so you will just think you have a routine and then it all changes again!
------------- Gill http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 11:18am
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Agree about the shower thing. I still do this now.
And you will soon get used to the crying and be able to tune it out a little At first I found it distressing (for me!) but it is perfectly normal for babies to cry up to 3hrs a day (the only way they can communicate) and now can cope much better.------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 11:30am
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topsy thanks for the advice..i shall try that..why dont they have a class with this stuff in it..nzpiper..i put him from bouncer ( i was so into controlled crying till it was my baby and LC said it's not great anyway) into bed and he stayed asleep so i could have a shower.. normally i do it straight away when he goes back to sleep.. he is so good at day sleeps 3-4 hours.. !!!!
topsy yeah i hope so....LC said its totally normal to feel super distressed at first..make syou want to get up adn look after them instead of go back to sleep:) but I'm slowly getting used to it..though like at 2am i just lost it as i couldn't stop him(it'd only been going like 10 mins) and didn't know what to do.. waking up Dh wasn't the best option...lol even though he told me too!I find that hard too..I'm not a crier and i cry once every couple of days now!!!! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 12:38pm
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mw came.. Ethan AB+ second rarest blood group....useless info for you guys:)
he has had two feeds straight away and gone to sleep..she basically said i need to toughen up and let him cry after last feed at night..feed him a few times..then EBM then leave him to settle to sleep:( will see how it goes...i know she is right but the thought if it is awful:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 12:50pm
| Make sure he donates blood when he's older (i'm AB-) BTW he's really cute! |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 1:56pm
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Not wanting to bombard you with more info but for me and Tom I found it better to not let him sleep so long during the day. I made sure his feeds were no more than 3 hours and would wake him up for the feeds. At night I let him go as long as he pleased. It soon turned around so he was sleeping 3-4 hours at night.
I couldnt let him cry either and was reassured when I read that some studies say it is ok (even good) to go to them when they cry as that tells them that the world is safe and mum comes to me when I am upset. In fact I have only just started to let Tom cry now (and only when its his protest cry...never if he is really upset - the different cry didnt come till about 3 months and it was obvious what meant what) |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 2:02pm
Yep I was totally the same, I also read at lot that basically said that if you leave a baby to cry they end up crying more not less. Funny about the 3 months thing, I remember telling my mum that I couldn't believe that a 3 month old was capable of trying it on, if i had been told that before it happening to me I would have thought it mad. I never had the luxury of a baby that went longer than 3 hours between feeds but I would also be inclined to wake him up so that he gets all his feeding done during the day and has his big sleeps at night, it might seem mean to wake him now but give it 3-4 days and he will adjust and will wake up for them rather than you doing the waking. -------------
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nzpiper wrote:Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 2:26pm
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With the other boob leaking try pushing on it really hard with a spare anything and that my keep some milk in there, I still get a wee bit of leakage from the other side but push it with my hand and it doesn't come out. I also hand express, I don't like the feeling of the expressor, I just put a bottle under my boob and squirt the milk in.
Oh yeah and I've so been with the tired partner and getting mad at the baby. Do you have Ethan in a bassinet? Try propping up the head end a wee bit. I had a cane bassinet and used to reach over while still lying in bed and rock it gently (works best with a book under one leg) if Caprece just wouldn't settle. I actually found a dummy helped Jack latch but I don't think thats the same for everyone. Sounds like you are doing really well and Ethan is such a wee cutie. |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 6:39pm
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missangel yeah we will..i am a big believer in donating blood..just had a look..he can only donate to himself but that's all good... I am a+ Dad is B+ so he could have been absolutely anything apparently..! gran just visited of course he's been an angel all day but at least i got some sleep:) and she did the washing , dishes and we went out to buy a safety sleep and the baby dept of farmers is closed..typical..still was nice to get out for the first time!
nzpiper...i guess thought she means after everything is done and even cuddling wont settle him to let him cry to sleep..i understand the theory we will see..i know i wont be able to listen to it.. so hopefully he will just start settling a little better.. as far as 3 month olds..they are definitely capable of trying it on..:)people never bleeive it but it's totaly true.. as far as crying(shes coming to see me again friday) i will try leaving him for a little bit but I won't be able to leave him for too long.. as far as expressing will buy electric if i have to keep pumping..its exhausting having to sterlise everything and pump every second time..!! she said he;s growing well..gets weighed on friday.....already put on twice what they thought he would so i guess he's doing ok:)I tried the pressing on nipple and it worked:) I'm too scared to go out in public though! maybe last night was hard too cause i drank heaps of diet coke.and cause i was stressed(today is anniversary of DandC last year ):( as far as head up a bit that's a good idea..might try it.. dummy seems to work sometimes he;s very clear when he wants it and when he doesnt.. does everyone else parents hang around waiting for bub to wake up....it's very annoying:) he's a baby..he sleeps!:) Dad was here for an hour waiting for him to wake up..I'm like come at 2am he's awake then:) I'm trying,..i think i expect too much of myself.. at least I'm not feeling depressed anymore!:) and thanks..he is adorable (luckily) :) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Shana
Date Posted: 13 February 2008 at 11:49pm
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Hi Kawww,
Well I feel for you and know that this will be ME in a couple of weeks - Due March 6th with my second. With my first I made lots of mistakes, but hoping to be at least a little better this time (I can always dream can't I?) It is probably a good idea to make sure Ethan gets in enough feeds and awake time during the day so that he will sleep longer at night. Just remove some layers of clothing or take off his nappy so the cool air wakes him gently and slowly. Try not to let him sleep more than 2 hours at a time during the day, but shorter naps in morning, noon, afternoon, and evening. Lots of stimulation/playing in between - but don't let him get so overtired he won't sleep. It makes sense that the more he sleeps during the day, the less he will sleep at night. |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 14 February 2008 at 8:30am
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shana...yeah we tried that yesterday and it seemed to work..plus making more of a big deal about day time..and bathing him at night and i didnt drink any coke(been having a few glasses of diet a day) and he slept 2/3 hours all day and 3-4 at night:) i cant stand waking him up...luckily dont have to very much.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |