Bed sharing
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14719
Printed Date: 14 September 2025 at 9:50am
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Topic: Bed sharing
Posted By: lilfatty
Subject: Bed sharing
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 9:14am
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Do any of you share your bed with your babies? I thought during my pregnancy fact finding tours I had seen on my internet travels that you could get a baby bed that you could put into the parents bed....so that they were in the bed with mum and dad ... but seperate ... but for the life of me I cant find it anywhere now. Does anyone know about this ... or do you have any ideas about how to keep them with you but "seperated"? ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 9:17am
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Whenever Daniel ends up in our bed he ends up in between us because we feel safest that way and his head goes up quite high so that we don't accidentally cover his head with blankets.
But we only put Daniel in our bed after imms or if hes sick etc and just won't settle without us. |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 9:27am
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on the American website they have these fab things but i havent seen any in NZ.. I'm personally too scared to put him in our bed... ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 9:27am
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lilfatty i think you are talking abour sidecar cots...
its like a side car for a bed... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 9:38am
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I think I've seen the one GandT is talking about - it's like a little basinette that 'clips' on the side of the bed. Haven't seen them sold though, just on the net I think. Have you tried the sleep store? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 9:41am
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i found it best when sleeping with the babies to lie them with their head in the crook of my arm. hubby was never very comfortable with the baby in the bed cause he was scared of rolling on them... and i must say i never slept that well when they were in with me, which is i suppose a good thing. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 9:52am
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the one i have seen on the American site is used in the bed..though it does have a side car option too... ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 10:11am
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I seen one on trademe that was inbetween mum and dad in the middle of the bed, i was like those hanging bassinets you but in cots size wise and it goes inbetween you. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 10:12am
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Found it heres the http://www.trademe.co.nz/Baby-gear/Cots-bassinets/Bassinets/auction-142223113.htm?p=25 - link ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: sparkle
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 10:17am
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We used to put Cooper inside his Phil & Teds cocoon when he was little. He was nice and warm, between the two of us, safe and close enough to lay my hand on his chest when he wanted me.
Nowadays he only comes into bed with us after his 6am feed and doesn't sleep, just attacks Dh's face and "talks" to him. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 11:19am
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I didnt think you were allowed to have a baby in bed with you? Cos you could roll on them and suffocate them? I dont think I'll be doing it, I would be so scared Id roll on him...
Id only have him in bed with us if DF and I are awake and not planning on going back to sleep. ------------- |
Posted By: shaz
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 11:40am
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I saw a thing at Babycity that is used for bed sharing. It had three sides (top and 2 sides). Maybe if you gave them a call they might know of something. I think it may have been about $60.00.
It's very common in some countries to bed share it's really just a personal choice. Natasha slept with us allot when she was little as she was so sick all of the time. Alyssa sometimes sleeps with me if DH has already gotten up as he doesn't like her being in our bed in case he rolls on her. ------------- Mum to Natasha Aroha 9/12/1995, Alexandra Makareta Waimarie 22/4/1998 and....Alyssa Frances Hopaea 18/03/2007 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 11:40am
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Sheza I often sleep with Isabelle ... she starts out on my chest ... then when she drifts off I put her in the crook of my arm however it means I sleep without blankets so I dont accidentally put them over her little head....when I was in the hospital after my c section the nurses always put her in bed with me as she wouldnt sleep anywhere else. Now I only co-sleep when she wont settle any other way ... and at this point in time ... I will get her to sleep anyway I can Kylahsmum ... thats it! Thanks ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 11:41am
There are a few "guidelines" associated with co sleeping. It is recommended you dont co sleep if you are drunk or have taken drugs, or a smoker or overweight (i'm not too sure on that last one tho). The sidecar cots are supposed to be really good cause not only does it make your bed bigger but it has the rail so you can sleep baby on the outside of the bed without fear of them falling out. When i was in hospital with gabriel i was surprised that the nurse suggested i sleep with him in my bed...but pleased cause it worked out really well. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Sheza wrote:Posted By: BabyOnBoard
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 12:16pm
Arabella sleeps in the crook of my arm, I've never rolled on her (and I think I'm a deep sleeper) have done this since birth (when need be. . Her father nearly rolled on her so we did scrap the whole in the middle thing  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 12:28pm
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lilfatty yeah i hated it after my c section they were like its not ideal to have him in bed he may fall out...I'm like well stop putting him there you know i cant move:(..and with all the drugs i was worried I'd roll on him:( they reckon mothers have a 6th sense and dont roll on them..but i know two people who the Dad did roll on them....it is a personal choice thing i think.... ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 12:38pm
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Kylah slept with me also, it the early days. In the crook of my arm too. I never rolled on her and i kinda believe the 6th sense thing too, i think because i new she was there i didnt move at all. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 12:51pm
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kawww, my hospital bed had sides that came up so she couldnt fall out ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 1:13pm
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A moses basket may work. Not sure how big they are though. I could never have Bella in our bed as I would not sleep that well (and sleep is a precious commodity at that stage!) ------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Shorty
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 1:23pm
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You can get them at Kmart. The same as Kylahsmum has given you a link for.
We were given 1 but T had outgrown it as they advise not to use it when Bubs is rolling. |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 3:19pm
Fair enough Julia.   I can understand that!
I have no idea about all this baby stuff lol, I was just always told never sleep in the same bed as your baby etc. But its good to know what all of you ladies do with your babies, will help me for when my lil boy is here. Im not judging anyone just so you know I just always thought ti wasnt allowed thats all. I like reading stuff like this------------- |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 3:29pm
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thats twice now sheza you have said "not allowed". It made me giggle when i first read it and wondered who was going to stop us from co sleeping - the sleep police...??!! LOL!
Oh and this isnt meant as a crack at anyone it just made me giggle is all... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 4:57pm
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Sheza ... in all fairness before Isabelle I never thought I would sleep with a baby as I had also read that you shouldnt and I thought I would squash her ... but Ive found that when you have a newborn, you will basically do anything to get the little bundle of joy to sleep Luckily apart from being a tad fat from pregnancy, I didnt have any of the other contraindicators (sp)
------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: bookwyrm
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 5:22pm
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When Phoenix will not sleep in his cot, he will co-sleep with us. He is in the middle of Dad and I, but in the crook of my arm, and away from the dangers of the big duvet. Usually I let him sleep there for 30 mins to an hour, and then I put him in his cot, and he is usually fine.
During the day, we nap together in the big bed. He has more space but close enough to mum. That way I can read my book and keep an eye on him. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 7:26pm
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lilfatty..yeah i wish mine had sides...as you say you do whatever you have too... i totally get that!:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 7:29pm
Sorry just didnt know how else to word it...  I meant I didnt think you were supposed to do it..------------- |
Posted By: 3boys
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 7:33pm
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Hey Sheza - co-sleeping is about as old as time. It is how babies in most cultures sleep. Only in the western world in the last 150 years or so have we be discouraged from co-sleeping - instead we make parents buy lots of expensive itmes that keep mums and babies separated.
If I was a baby I would know how I would want to sleep! I too thought it was NOT ALLLOWED when I had my fist - but now onto number three I don't buy any of that BS. I sleep with my baby every night. He starts out in his own cot (nest to ours) so we get an evening together but from his first wake he comes in with me and stays there until the morning. I love waking up to his beautiful smile staring at me. I have a safety first bed rail that goes on the side of the bed so that when he is on that side he won't fall out, and when he is between me and DH there is no worries. I have seen those sidecots and they look great for people that need a bit of separation between them and babe but still want to sleep together. Also has anyone heard of the latest research that suggests that co-sleeping if done safely can help prevent cot death - and by that they mean no just bed sharing but having the baby in your room for the first year. I was reading this on the Dr Sears website. Anyway - *hippie mama out* ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 7:44pm
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"hippy mama" is the cot pushed up to your bed with the side down? so that its an extension of your bed? ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 7:46pm
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I've actually read that some studies find co sleeping reduces the risk of cot death but as someone said you have strict guidlines.
I didnt think I would ever do it and I was scared when the midwife in hospital suggested tucking him in with me one night when he wouldnt settle. In the end I did it and it was lovely. I still do it from time to time when he wont settle and I am buggered...usually it goes nicely with a lazy feed. If DH is in bed and we are wanting to sleep I put him on the outside and I shuffle into the middle of the bed...DH gets shoved over (and the little one said rollover) I pull the sheet up over us and when he was really little I would tuck the sheet under him so if he rolled his weight would hold the sheet and him on the bed. I never use the duvet past about my waist and I put him up quite high. I also have an arm over his tummy. We have the memory foam pillows so they arent fluffy and dont move around the bed so sometimes I move our pillows right apart and sit Tom in the middle of them. Now that he is moving it doesnt always work well but if he wakes too early and wont settle DH brings him into me, I pop out a boob and go back to sleep...so does TOm. It is really a lovely thing to do and not scary at all.
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 8:37pm
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They are looking more into the benefits of co-sleeping and some studies have shown that it can reduce the risk of cot death. Apparently having having another person nearby helps baby not to fall into that deep sleep that they go into when SIDS happens.
Other benefits are that it is easier to settle a baby when you are right there rather than having to get up so everyone gets more sleep. If you're breast feeding it is alot quicker and easier to feed a baby that is right there- and if you can master feeding lying down you can drop right back off once baby has latched on. There are pretty strict guidelines that go with it though. Both parents have to be non-smokers. Neither parents can have consumed ANY alcohol or drugs (including prescription or over the counter drugs as they make affect awareness) Have a safety rail on the side of the bed. Only blankets, no duvets or quilts. I co-slept with Kate for the first couple of months- certainly helped me get more sleep in those early days than I did with Charlotte. I think you also need to judge what kind of sleepers you are. If you know that you or DH are really deep sleepers or thrash around alot you may want to look into something like this- 
------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 8:48pm
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One of the first things the midwives in the hospital did when DD was first born was to put her in bed with me - it was a wonderful first night!
We kind of co-slept, had the bassinette right next to the bed for the first four months or so, and often brought her in with us. Took all the precautions and it often meant a longer sleep for her and more rest for me. I couldn't get a hang of the feeding lying down for months though, so found that hard. Am hoping to get onto it earlier with the next baby. ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 8:52pm
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i learnt by neccesity as my c section made lying down to feed the only option for awhile ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 9:01pm
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It's a great skill to have! Will be interested to hear if you buy a side cot, let us know what you decide to do ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: 3boys
Date Posted: 23 February 2008 at 9:13pm
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Hey lilfatty - Nope - the cot is just next to the bed and then I get him out and pop him in with us - I have a safety rail on my bed to prevent falls when he is with us. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 24 February 2008 at 1:18pm
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They put josh in the bed with me in hospital too the nurse said not to worry mothers have a 6th sense and dont roll on them which i believe as i was dreaming Josh was in bed with me one night and DP started to roll and my hand was up stopping him and i was talking angrily to him before i had even woken up properly. I felt like a bit of a dick when i realised i had put Josh back in his bassinette that night tho hahaha im pretty sure DP was too tired to realise although i think i did it to him twice that night. -------------   
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Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 9:20am
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I co-slept with Michaela. I didn't want to initially (because I didn't want her to still be in my bed as a small child) but after a couple of weeks of only getting sleep in 1.5 hour blocks I conceded. The fact is she was just happier being cuddled (you may feel the same way when given the option of sleeping with your partner or without). These little people go from being completely enveloped in their mothers warm womb to being in the cold noisy scary outside world, who can blame them for wanting to snuggle next to their mums?
It's also pretty comforting for you to feel your baby's warm breath against your skin and know undoubtedly that they're ok. One of the best things I learnt was how to get Michaela latched while lying side by side so I barely had to wake up to feed her and I would fall asleep pretty quickly while she was feeding. Once she was older and no longer feeding at night it only took 3 nights to get her used to staying in her own cot all night so my fears that I'd be sleeping with her forever were unfounded and I'll definitely have no qualms about co-sleeping next time around. As 3boys said co-sleeping is as old as time and completely natural in most societies. A sober person is about as likely to roll onto their baby as they are to roll ontop of a cat without noticing - it'd be pretty difficult. ------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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