kids birthdays
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14760
Printed Date: 08 October 2025 at 4:34pm
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Topic: kids birthdays
Posted By: Bizzy
Subject: kids birthdays
Date Posted: 24 February 2008 at 10:51pm
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Ok so after reading janines post about her 3 yr old and the mask party i was left wondering about kids parties...
Is it parents who give kids expectations of parties or are some kids just more aware.??? I havent ever really had a "party" for my kids, just family afternoon tea type affairs...gabriel is 4 now and only becoming aware of parties and birthdays and toby - who will be 3 in july - has no idea either. Yet on another board i am on with kids the same age as toby the kids have already planned their parties, who they will invite, what sort of cake etc... This year because gabriel will be 5 will be the first year i will actually be hosting a party for him...and no doubt toby wont get a proper party till 5 either. So am i the weird one? what is the deal about a party every year? and giving such young children choices about said parties? are we not just setting them up to expect bigger and better parties every year? Or is it something i will understand once i have a girl? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 24 February 2008 at 11:29pm
I had very few parties as a kid - maybe a couple when I was too young to remember... and that wasn't very flash! mostly relatives (we don't have many anyway) and a few family friends + their kids. We would usually have a "treat" for our birthdays - go to the movies, or a trip to fantasyland (is now splash planet in hastings) Or a dinner at pizza hutt... but then alot of kids these days would consider those things normal.  -------------  
 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 1:51am
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Andrew had a big BBQ with family and our friends for his 1st. His second we went out for dinner with family and his friend Holly and her mum. His 3rd was a party for him and his friends. We took them to lunch at McDonalds and then went back to the in laws were they played and the adults (family and a couple of the childrens parents) had nibbles and we did the cake. I'm thinking his 4th would be a party with 4 friends and games and then the 5th a big one. Josh just had his 1st and again it was a BBQ with our friends and family. I'll do the same things for him that Andrew got. As for me I had a party every year till I was 10, some years it was just a few friends over for food but still a party. My 10th ws my biggie when I went to Cobb'n'Co with a couple of friends we were so grown up. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 2:47am
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In NZ for each of Charlottes parties (she had 2 before we left) we just basically had family, our close friends and a couple of Charlottes friends. We hired a few big toys and ate lots of junk food and had the whole cake thing. It was more for us really than her I think.
Over here (in the area we are in anyway) kids parties are a BIG DEAL. You hire a venue- either a soft play or a room and an entertainer, and then do a big seated meal for the kids (party food) afterwards. We went to a disney princess theme one yesterday and the party bags we bought home would have been worth almost as much as the present we got the kid! I won't even mention the cake- put my wedding cake to shame.
We will be doing parties for both the girls each year- mainly because I love doing them  Birthdays have always been a big deal in my family (Mums side)- I let Charlotte have input (like this year she wants a tinkerbell cake) to a point and so far the requests have been pretty reasonable.
I don't think you're at all weird for not doing it. My Dad has never been into birthdays and thinks parties should be saved for the special birthdays. I don't think its necessarily a girl thing either- the boys parties over here are often just as extravagant! We won't be getting bigger and better as time goes on- we have a budget for how much we would feel comfortable spending on a party and I doubt that is going to go up. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 5:43am
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We had a party for Ollie's first birthday but won't be doing that every year. Anyway I think it was more a celebration of the fact that we (Stu & I) made it to his first birthday!
We will 'celebrate' birthdays every year, but it will mainly be just a lunch/afternoon tea with family and close friends or maybe having a friend or two over when he gets a bit older. We will give him a party for his 5th birthday but haven't really though about it beyond that. ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 6:44am
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jake's first birthday also conincided with us leaving Japan, so we invited a rther big amount of people. in japan - that is not really the done thing. The people we invited were ones that had met him and were close to us. His daycare asked if they could tkae him to the zoo so those kids could spend time with him, so we only invited my japanese teacher's little girl Ayaka, the rest were adults.
Taine - we invited all of our playcentre - about 10 adults and 20 kids. We had a ball - BUT his birthday is in summer and we had a huge yard at the time Jake's second was close fmaily and friends and they have all continued to be so. I love the parties, but after Jake's first one was a huge deal (i refeused to have chicken nuggets and made them from scratch), I am a lot more relaxed about them - having food the ids like rather than food I can show off my cookng skills about. i love making the cakes though! |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 8:00am
I don't think you are wierd....I imagine we'll just keep doing the "family and close friends in the park/backyard" thing until Maddie is old enough to appreciate a "proper" party.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Sarah Beth
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 8:14am
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I am with Paws, family and close friends for our parties, and even then, 1st and 5th will be the bigger ones.
Am glad you said something though Deb as was starting to feel inadequate about the birthday I have planned for Jack! ------------- "> 
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 8:38am
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We had a party for Hannahs first birthday, but she wont be getting another one like that until she is 5. Same with Greer. I think those are the special ones, tho the first birthday party is more for the parents!! For the other birthdays, I will still make a cake etc, but probably just a little family afternoon tea type thing. So no, youre not weird ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 8:40am
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I think thats pretty reasonable. I worry that kids today get too many things too soon and nothing is special (I have my "I'm old" hat on today).
I expect to have a 1yr party as doubledee said, mainly to celebrate 1 yr since WE had him rather than anything he gets a say in (tehehe). and then I wouldnt expect a party till he was 5yrs, 13yrs, 16yrs and 21st. I'm sure there will be the odd one thrown in but I dont want to have to do something amazing each year. I expect that we will do something special on each birthday (maybe a couple of mates around or go out etc but not the full on guest list party)/ But I'll probably cave in and get off my old high horse. |
Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 8:41am
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I never got a proper party till i was 6.
Braes first 2 parties where just family & we had a small arvo tea type thing. I did do a train party for his 3rd & invited his friends & did the whole games, party food & cake etc. Dont think ill be doing another proper party till he is 5-6. Definitely not something i want to do every year ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 8:57am
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It's not something I had actually thought about for my kids. I love planning parties, but now that you mention it I remember not having birthday parties each year as a kid, and that made the big ones (5 years old, 10 years old, 13 years old I think?) even more exciting. Even though the 'big' parties were more often just a few of my friends for a slumber party night or something like that.
I think if you want to do themed parties for your kids and can afford to do so, then that's really cool. There are still ways to limit expectations/budget within that and it's fun to celebrate your kids and do something special with them. I guess it also depends on your definition of a 'party'. For us, I don't think we'll be doing a big party for DD until her 5th. We will always do a cake and something special for the birthday, but not with heaps of friends/favours/etc. Jen, those parties in London sound amazing! ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 9:01am
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deb i dont think you are weird at all....but then i have to say that we are planning a bigger one year old party and the next big one will be when she is five! have gone to point of hiring stuff but DH doesnt necessarily agree....oh well!
I grew up with large parties - usually 10-20 kids at each one and an amazing cake = mum did my one every second year which was really cool! WHen i was in states birthdays were huge events and we did amazing loot bags and everything had to match - so guess i still have a little of that left rubbed off on me! |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 9:09am
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We didn't have a 1st bday party for Jake per se, more just family around for afternoon tea and he had one little friend. We did have LOTS of kids for his second bday party, as his 1st birthday was more for me, his second was for him, if you get my drift, but our bday partys are more just kids playing outside and party food, we had hats and a banner (that I have had since rods 40th, lol) I can't get into the loot bad thing, its expensive enough as it is. We have a huge yard and lots of cool toys and I love all the kids playing.
We did the same thing for Chars first birthday as we did for Jakes 2nd, mostly Jakes wee friends and their wee bros and sisters as we see them all the time. It was great(except the weather. This time, though I invited my Midwife, as we won't be using her again, lol, and she is one of the family! Probably now, it won't be weekend parties, it will be a wee morning tea, if anything, and have a big blow out at 5. Having said that, I love kids parties, the chaos etc. Not so much into the whole theme and loot bag thing, cos I'm tight and I don't want to set expectations, but different strokes for different folks. Having said that, though, we did have a wiggles table cloth and table wear, lol as Jake is fully into Wiggles, but that was that was all! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 9:14am
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We did parties for Caitlynsmygirl(Kelly at 1, 5 and 10 and 16 and 21 and the same for her brother and sister
Her sister(special needs) still loves birthdays but then is developmentally delayed |
Posted By: Shorty
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 10:04am
We did a 1st birthday gathering of close friends and family, but that day was special for DH & I aswell 
We are not planning a "party" till he is 5, we will keep it as close family and friends. The day is about the child (and parents for surviving) I think that can be forgetting sometimes. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 2:07pm
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Maya's first and second were family and friends occasions, more of a get together of adults than kids. Her first we hired her daycare centre (but only coz it rained, we originally planned to have it at a park) and her second was a backyard BBQ.
By 3 she had her own little friends so she had her first kiddie party, it was pretty low key, we had it at McDonalds and she invited about 10 of her playcentre/daycare friends. Her fourth was similar but at Chipmunks. Her fifth was more expensive but she had her heart set on Butterfly Creek and being her fifth I wanted it to be a bit special. It was definitely worth it, the kids had a great time. I do her cake every year altho this year a friend did it as I ran out of time. The gremlins first was HUGE but again mostly an adults gathering, their "friends" are more like my friends' kids so adults and kids came. I wanted it to be huge tho as their first year was such a challenge and I was really proud to get to their first birthday in one piece. Their second will probably be smaller but again family and friends until they are older and have their own little friends. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 2:48pm
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LOL emma - i know about yours - i think we've attended them all!!! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 4:26pm
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As kids we alway's had every second birthday we could have a party teh other's were one or 2 very close friends and usually something pretty simple we will be doing the same for our's I think it work's well so we did a first for both boy's and Alan's 3rd we had party. So next will be mikey's 3rd then Alan's 5th it work's well for us I not very creative and hate too many people at once in the house. So in short Deb no its not weird at all. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 7:49pm
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We didn't do a big 1st bday party as I was shattered and Elle wouldn't remember it. I don't think we will do a big second b'day. I may do something more exciting when she is old enough to understand what is going on but it still won't be huge. Kids love the simple things in life!
Not sure exactly what I'll do when she is older but there are sure to be parties and friends involved. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 9:28pm
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for all of my kids they always have' of a birthday 'party'. They get to choose (within reason) what they want to do when they were old enough to make that desicion.. brooke plans her party the day after her birthday for the next year... As for firsts - for Rhyley I did a BBQ Lunch with friends and family. i didn't do any games or goodie bags. and I don't think i will till he goes to kindy. I would say apart from the family and friends BBQ we won't have a big Birthday party till hes 5. Brooke got to invite whom she wanted to her 5th - and boy was it big - try 15 kids - won't do that again! LOL...Mind that just proved what a social butterly she was as at josh's he had 6 kids...
Then from 5 onwards they have got to choose - mcd's was a popular chose but since Brookes is in summer (mid march) she liked going to the swimming pools. I think its up to each individual family what they choose to do.. i am sure even if you don't have a huge party you do something 'special' for the day.. and then when they get to teenagers - a friend staying over with a DVD and fish and chips does the trick ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 9:38pm
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We did a large 1st birthday for Paris as she was the 1st grandchild on mikes side, and a much-awaited one on our side. It was more of a family celebration.
We don't do huge huge parties, (apart from Paris's 3rd one which at that time we had a very large social circle of close friends and family we saw frequently) mostly just a few family and friends and in terms of the theme, it's mainly what type of cake and paper plates they get, kinda fun to have matching balloons and coloured paper plates. Maybe it probably is my way of making up for the fact that as a kid i had a really crappy childhood and I'm trying to create nice memories for my own children. In between we don't do much, and i hate the fact that i work so darn often and miss alot, so for us, xmas and birthdays are a big thing, a big celebration, not so much about how much is spent, as i make alot of things myself. It's not trying to make up for it as such by giving them whatever they want cos they certainly don't get that. It's about the fun of taking time together and planning things together and seeing it all come together. The tradition of picking out what cake you want from your mum's cake books etc. The knowing that this is their special day,and yes on their birthday, they deserve to be treated special. My kids don't expect it, If i said we weren't having a party and were just going to have a picnic in the park and go swimming they'd still be happy as larry. The thing with Ayja already choosing her things is because of needing time to plan my mums party etc, but also because she has quickly caught on to the ideas from being an active part in Paris's, that and the fact that they have been in daycare since day dot, so have been to their fair share of other kids parties as well. It doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be expensive, it doesn't have to be extravagant, it might be just family afternoon tea, it might be 2 or 5 of 10 kids there, but what the kid sees is that someone is taking time out, on their birthday, to celebrate how special they are, and celebrate the day they were born which no-doubt each and every one of us does for our kid every day not just on their birthday, and we each do it differently. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 10:07pm
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Well said, Janine
THe best thing I remember about my birthdays growing up was that the birthday person was allowed to order lunch at school, and didn't have to do the dishes!! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 10:10pm
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Janine, you don't need to justify the parties you give your kids, I think it's awesome that you choose themes etc, and your cakes are amazing! I agree that a great birthday party doesn't have to mean expensive! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 25 February 2008 at 10:59pm
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Ditto Annie, not the bought lunch part but the dishes part. Which is what i loved because in some crazy way mum even made doing the dishes very stressful, if we weren't drying things in the right order, or getting things off the rack fast enough, or pointed out to her that there was still a piece of food on the plate she'd just washed, we'd get yelled at.
For me, getting a night off being part of that was great. Pity i could still hear her. My birthday was one of the few days that i was half-pie safe from being yelled at, how lucky was i to get a day off being verbally abused. That's probably left a lasting impression on me at the lacking. Definately not a money thing, just knowing that there was little change between birthdays and every other day just possibly less chance of having mum go nuts at you. (actually i do see some neat pictures of parties i had when i was a little little kid.. but after mum and dad split when i was 5 it all turned pear-shaped) Kat, definately not trying to justify, as no doubt Deb meant this as a general post, just feel weird that it was fueled by something i posted and felt it was kinda looking down in some way on the ones who do go all out for their kids birthdays. but it is an interesting talking point, though most parenting issues on here tend to be as we are all so different, and with a growing community comes even more sides of the dice. I don't feel bad about doing it at all, I love it, It's the most awesome fun in the world. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 12:09am
 Its so fab that instead of repeating what you grew up with you have learnt from it and are doing so much better for your girls ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 8:24am
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i wasnt getting at you janine - i started a new post so i didnt crash your original one.
I was asking specific questions about kids parties, and i have now highlighted them if anyone wants to re read my original post. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 10:53am
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Janine, I'm sure your girls will remember how much fun they had every year!
The thing I remember from having a birthday each year was that my brother and I got to choose what we wanted to have for dinner, my fav was schnitzel so I chose that each year lol
I love planning birthday parties and making all the invites etc, and I can see how much E enjoys it. I still get frazzled on the actual party day, but it's worth it! I also love making cakes (now I can - thanks to help from Janine ). This year is going to be fun as we can now play party games and the kids will hopefully understand the rules ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 11:22am
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I don't really do kids parties... partly because I am TERRIBLE at being organised. Kat can attest to that - being invited to Han's birthdays often the morning of
I don't buy into all the "party bags" etc because I think it's commercial crap and I dislike having little plastic toys around my place. I try and keep things simple and inexpensive - it's about spending time with friends and family. In saying that, I think it's cool that people go all out on their kids. Han would love it... I'm just too cheap and lazy. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 11:24am
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Kat - rope me in to anything you need help with this year. Ella's party was fab last year and I'd hate to think how much time and effort it takes you to sort everything out!
P.S. Oh look at me inviting myself to Ella's birthday. haha Oops. |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 11:44am
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lol - you're invited Nikki, and Hannah too
Haven't got a clue as to what she wants yet - have been asking her and so fr it's been fairies, traffic light party  and all sorts of random things.
Maybe I'll rope you into sewing loot bags muhahaha.
I don't like the cheap plastic toys that come in loot bags either - they clutter up my house!  and never get played with.------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 3:34pm
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I love doing birthday parties. Absolutely love it. I love the stress of planning it ect. What I dont like however is since McKayla's first birthday the extended family feels like they should always be invited. And Grant has a huge extended family here (we are now talking third and fourth and fifth cousins.). With them we dont really have place to invite friends with their kids.
Doesnt help that family (on my daughters special day) will compare her to the other kids. I just hate it when people do that. So her first birthday we ended up with a tea and all sorts of snacks but I still had to run around making coffee and teas and everyone wants it a different way. So second year a huge BBQ with a theme of pooh bear and home made playdough and big gazebo outside. So they ended up mostly in the house. This year I am having one at playcentre with the kids she plays the most anyway. Thinking of either making cupcakes and taking icing with and let the kids decorate and ice their own cupcake. Or make an animal cake and get the $2 animal costumes for each child and play musical chair and with which parcel they land up ect. But we will see. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 4:14pm
Hannah has already put in an order for a 'Pony' cake. Where she gets these bizarre ideas, I don't know.
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meow wrote:Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 26 February 2008 at 7:15pm
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I think parties are cool and to answer your question gandt... at first I think its the parents that get into the party thing but once they start getting invited to parties they begin to want one of their own. Kids don;t take long to cotton on about it. I enjoy letting my kids do something special for their birthdays as I think it should be celebrated.. as I said before its up to the family how they do that whether a big party or a small family get together to a special dinner at home. Most days my kids birth 'date' isn't when their party is so their actual birth 'date' they get to pick whats for dinner.
As for only for girls - nope I have done a party for the boys too. I have never got into themed birthday -but think its due to my lack of creativity and part to do with it takes so much time and energy to organised a themed one - rather than my not liking them. Loot bags are a waste of money and those cheap plastic things anony me too. In my loot bag I normally put a balloon, bit of cake, some lollies, a party popper, blowy noisy thing (cause parties have to have noise lol) and if I am feel generous a braclet or necklace for the girl - I don't do for Josh anymore and Rhyley too young. this year though I am not too sure I am going to do it fr BRooke. ------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |