Playgroup rude to Dad
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14831
Printed Date: 24 December 2025 at 8:48am
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Topic: Playgroup rude to Dad
Posted By: The_Stuarts
Subject: Playgroup rude to Dad
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 11:42am
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I just got a call from my DH who took Michaela to a playgroup this morning. I couldn’t believe the way he was treated.
It’s an informal playgroup according to their website, where those that attend are free to come and go as they please. I took Michaela a couple of weeks ago when I was off work and found it quite clicky, lots of mums go there for company (which is fine) and no one actually spoke more than a few words to me but I didn’t mind as I was there to play with Michaela not to meet other mums. I told DH about this and that he’d be the only guy there but Michaela enjoyed herself so he decided to take her. Anyway DH tried it out today and they were downright rude to him! He was asked who he came with (he was holding our daughter so I assume they didn’t mean her). He was told he had to fill in an application form (which no one mentioned to me when I was there). Then, get this, he was asked why he was there, the woman’s words were “So you’re looking after your daughter for the day and thought you’d come down here for a break did you?” Um, excuse me he’s looked after our daughter 5 days per week for the past 17 months and unlike many of the mums there he was actually interacting with our daughter not “taking a break”. He did say he’ll take Michaela again though – good on him! ------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 11:49am
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HOW RUDE! What a beotch. Good on him for going back again.
That is why I hated coffee mornings, they were all clicky. I am just not like that! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 11:54am
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OMG that is so rude. Good on him for going back thou. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 12:02pm
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Your poor Hubby! What a rude cow!
I found the same thing at our local music group. All the other parents were sitting in little groups together, so I went over and introduced myself to some people with children who looked about the same age as mine. The looked me up and down and said "Oh another new person, I think this group is getting to big now, you should have to apply to come" I was so hurt and embarrassed, especially as I'm not normally brave enough to introduce myself to strangers at all! Needless to say, I never went back. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 12:09pm
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OMG Mel. That's awful! What goes through these womans minds (hmmm, I think I can guess there's probably nothing but fresh air in there). ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 12:17pm
Probably not even fresh air, stale air instead 
Good on your DH for wanting to go back! I hardly ever talked to other mums at playgroup, they were all older than me and into their flashy cars and jewellery etc. I only went because DD had fun and got to play with other kids. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 12:21pm
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We've taken Michaela for the painting. Our house is a rental and fully carpeted so we don't want to risk letting her paint at home but she loves painting so he'll take her back unless they get worse in which case I'll tidy our garage so she can paint down there (and I'll stop being nice and put their name and address on here too). ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 12:22pm
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mel that is awful..and as for your poor DH:( i think people get like that cause they are jealous..bet they wish their Dh's were as great with their kids... it's sad how pathetic some people are....good on him for going back! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 12:36pm
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OMG, are you serious?? what a cow! ha he should have said something like " honey if you have issues with the opposite sex at the moment..its really not my problem " except then he would be as bad as her
and .Mel, that is such a pathetic and immature thing for that person to say , in fact I went somewhere and had something like that said to me and i looked around and said " thats strange....there doesn't seem to be a teacher here-but this is highschool isn't it ? I mean, your acting like it,soooo...." then i just smiled at them and walked off-but thats me, speak first think later and get myself into lots of awkward situations 
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Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 12:37pm
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Thats terrible! I always make an effort to include, talk and be welcoming to someone new in a group as I know how nervous, anxious and hard it is being the "new" person.
The feisty side of me would go and give they ladies a piece of my mind! However, I hate confrontation so would just swear about them to myself  ------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 1:12pm
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Aw that sux when a playgroup can't be friendly to a newbie - far out, we've all been the newbie before, you'd think people would remember how hard it can be! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 2:39pm
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That does suck! Good on your DH for sticking with it though. I hate how newbies (either male or female) can be treated at these things!
I tried our local Mainly Music group last week and not one person even said hi or introduced themselves to me the whole time I was there - they all sat in clicky groups and gave me sideways glances. I hated it and definitely won't be going back! Who's needs the stress! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 2:46pm
Good on your DH for going back - Really rub their noses in it!  I can't believe how rude some people are!
DH drops Caitlin off at Daycare every morning and stays and plays with her for about 20 mins and always gets the "oh aren't you a good dad" from the staff and other Mums LOL ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 2:48pm
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I know the sahm mums from my antenatal group go to things like mainly music together. I couldn't imagine them being b!tchy to new mums though just thought it's obviously a good idea if you want to go to those to see if someone else wants to go too. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 2:50pm
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Wow those are some stink experiences! I find groups clingy to but just stick with Elle. Lucky the play group we just started has SIXTY people so there is always someone to talk to!
Good on your DH for going back. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 3:09pm
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Holy crap - how rude!!!
I can't believe they talked to him like that... and the comment about having a break! Geez, that's why I'd take Hannah to a playgroup, and what's her reason for going!?!? I hope she apologises next week. |
Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 3:20pm
I'm pretty sure it was one of the older women that runs it that said that. Real welcoming aye!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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nikkiwhyte wrote:Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 3:29pm
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Rude to anyone, let alone a Dad! They should be praised for heading out to playgroups... I know I find it intimidating and I'm a mum. (Yes, I hate that I just said that but it's undeniable that Dads have a hard time at things like playgroups)
P.S. It wasn't anywhere near Island Bay was it? |
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 3:33pm
OMG how rude! And that question? Hardly any of her business! I would have been fuming if it was me  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 3:33pm
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No, it was in the Northern Suburbs - we could play hot hot cold while you guess which one (just kidding) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: hailstones
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 3:53pm
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Thats just disgusting behaviour that you might expect for the child NOT the parents. I don't understand how people can be so rude! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 5:06pm
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That is so rude! Good on your DH for being willing to go back though. I would be looking for another playgroup. ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 6:30pm
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im not letting dh see this ... he is worried enough about being the sahd (starting may) !
------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 7:37pm
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i find it hard to start conversations with newbies at groups cos I'm shy, but there is no excuse for saying something like that... ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 8:00pm
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My DH (also a SAHD) has had trouble fitting in to groups as well, not too much clickey here but no guys nonetheless! It's awful because they don't get much support from working guys either (mostly cause they haven't a clue) -------------  |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 27 February 2008 at 8:11pm
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Oh no. That is so bad for them. Perhaps try a playcentre group? I actually found most moms there to be really into wanting guys to come and join them as well. But I suppose that depends from group to group.
We do painting in the garden with McKayla and just wash it away with the hosepipe. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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