Grrrr WHY????
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Topic: Grrrr WHY????
Posted By: mummy_becks
Subject: Grrrr WHY????
Date Posted: 28 February 2008 at 10:45pm
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I got txt from my husband tonight saying that he is thinking of leaving the comissioning training in March He is finding it a bit too much and full on but the thing is he knew this was going to happen and he was ll keen for it. I told him to stay and to think of his family and asked him what was he going to do instead?? His reply I have no idea, run like I always to when things get tough. I told him again to think of us and not just him now, he knew this was going to happen, what is happening there at the moment is not what the Army actually is and he knew this too. Am I being mean making him stay up there?? I'm sick of him running from his problems and I want him to not regret leaving the regular force army. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Replies:
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 28 February 2008 at 10:51pm
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So, you can't sleep either tonight, eh? Hi over there! Ah, does he need to suck it up and stick it out? Hmmmm now how to say that in a way that'll make it seem like his idea, eh? Hmmmm. But seriously, is the regular army still an option for him? At least when they're happy in their jobs we don't have to listen to them whinge. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 28 February 2008 at 10:55pm
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Nope sleep isn't coming to me at the moment still from last night (see my car accident post). Regular Army is an option but the pay is crap, if he changed to be a soldier he would get $23000(approx) but if he sticks the training out and gets comissioned we would get $45000(approx) - big difference. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 28 February 2008 at 10:58pm
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I can see how frustrating it must be for you.
You've been holding it all together at home so that he can follow his dream and now he's thinking about chucking it in! I don't think you are mean for wanting him to tough it out at all hun, I would feel really annoyed if it were me. At the same time, I have huge respect for people who are strong enough to make it in the army. I had a big chat to a guy once who works in recruitment about what the training involves and it sounded like really isn't for the faint hearted! Is there a counsellor or someone there who could help advise him before he jumps into his decision? ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 28 February 2008 at 11:06pm
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I think they are getting their personal advisors when they come back from the field in 11 days (they leave Saturday), or they get to talk to them tomorrow. I think that is right i'm frustrated that I couldn't do what I wanted to as I let him follow his dream and know he wants to throw it all in, and its not all that easy for me to do what I really want to do now. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 28 February 2008 at 11:15pm
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That would really sting. And yeah, normally I think wealth doesn't bring happiness and you're better off working in a job you love if you find one, but crikey that is a BIG difference in wages he's moving into! Yeah I'd be tempted to do what I could to encourage him to stay! At least long enough to say he's really given it a go. Ah Becks, I hope it works out for you two. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 28 February 2008 at 11:19pm
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Yeah $20000 odd is a lot of money. I've tried the work towards every break not to the end in November, but he said the being away from us isn't the problem. Its the overload of information ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 28 February 2008 at 11:26pm
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oh hun, big hugs to you.
Personally? He needs to suck it up and think of everyone else right now and the big picture. Getting what you wnat and where you want to be does not come without hard work. Take care of you. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 28 February 2008 at 11:26pm
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I don't think you're being mean! Sounds like hes just having a down moment- hopefully he'll have a good sleep and things will be a bit more in perspective in the morning. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 28 February 2008 at 11:36pm
Becks - the pay goes up pretty quickly as a soldier, and you'll get entitlements etc for mortgage if you have one. But yep, officers get paid more, they also get hassled a lot more by the soldiers! 
It's in an army guy's perogative to complain, they b**ch and moan constantly so Nigel's just getting in early! Hopefully he snaps out of it and comes to his senses. To put it in perspective, DH has been saying he's getting out for nearly 4 years now, and what do you know... still in! At the end of the day, he made the decision to do this and he has to stick it out and give it a real shot. And like you said, he needs to realise that the training they go through in Waiouru is so different to actual army life. So if he can get through the training there's hope for him yet. Or you could always give him the choice of staying in and having a happy wife, or leaving and hearing about it from you for the rest of his life?!
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Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 6:28am
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I don't think you're being mean either - it pays to finish things one starts. How long is the training? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 9:19am
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they never say what they really mean... it could be all sorts of reasons for him wanting to quit. hopefully you can encourage him to stay and finish his training at least and then make a decision...
its hard tho when all you want to do is give them a big telling off and say get over it but instead you know you have to be all supportive and helpful... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 9:22am
Is that all the army boys get paid??????????
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Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 9:33am
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Feel for you becks, my dh is in the throws of going up north to do his heavy traffic they only do it at bay of plenty poly, he has family there as that is where his from and it's only for 16 weeks, I'm like go for it as he will be able to earn more doing this than his is currently , he will do it harder than us as he will really miss us, I don't mind being on my own as have done it before, man I'm a cow lol. It's easy for us to say stick it out aye ------------- 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 9:39am
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Naughty man!
I'd just explain to him that you have gone through hell while he was away so that he could do this officer training and the least he can do is a bit of hard work and stick it out. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 9:43am
What she said. No one would ever get anywhere if we all gave up at the first sign things were getting tough. Harden up. And if you can cope with being on your own with the boys keeping the home fires burning he owes it to you to show a little more committment than that. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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fattartsrock wrote:Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 10:17am
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All the above, plus think of the message staying gives the boys. Itshows that you see things through then make a choice, rather than cutting and running when it gets hard/stops being fun/gets boring etc. -------------  
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 10:49am
It's not forever, tell him to suck it up. (In a loving, supportive way  )
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 10:50am
| It'll get easier too... any new job is hard work for a while... and I assume they overload them to weed out those that aren't truly committed. |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 11:09am
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Considering how far you've come so far I think he needs to suck it up. There are no doubt going to be parts that suck but surely it will be worth getting through those to the good parts??
I guess all you can do is be as encouraging as possible. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 4:23pm
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The training finishes in November. I think i'm talking to him tonight before he goes into the field for 10 days. I'm going to say some of the things mentioned here, thanks. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 7:06pm
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LOL maybe word it a bit differently to how we put it ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 7:31pm
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Na blunt is better at the moment ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 9:50pm
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Personally I think I'd go for the softer approach. I imagine he's just past the "honeymoon period" and is finding that it's all a lot more info and/or tougher than what he had thought/hoped. See if you can get him to set a goal. Like, how about riding it through to the end of April and then reconsidering? See if he can set the date himself so he doesn't feel like it's another "nag" as it were.
The first 6 months of a new job is always the hardest; if he hangs in a bit longer it'll probably start picking up. If he hangs in there for longer than 6 months he may just feel jolly proud of himself for sticking at something for a decent amount of time (it sounds like he hasn't stuck at much else for much longer?). All the best for your "talk" - if you haven't had it already. ------------- |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 29 February 2008 at 9:56pm
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Just finished it and it was good. I'm pretty sure he was having a few bad days. He knows that he needs to be there for the boys and their future. He's off to the field for the next 10 days so that'll be good for him and he's getting excited about the things they are going to be doing - using the night vision goggles and the helicopter exercises. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 01 March 2008 at 12:49pm
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Glad he's going to stick with it Becks. Also sounds like seeing this through is something he really needs to do.
The Army is a great place to be, and 1 year is not too much to ask for a lifetime of fun and friendships that will come from being an officer in the Army. Its March already and November is not that far away. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |