Feeling stressed - big rant ahead !!
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1489
Printed Date: 07 April 2026 at 12:39pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Feeling stressed - big rant ahead !!
Posted By: jax
Subject: Feeling stressed - big rant ahead !!
Date Posted: 07 February 2006 at 2:56pm
|
So I'm starting to feel a little stressed, and a lot of it is probably because of the hot weather and having so much to do, and all the hormones. Well, that's probably ALL of the reasons really... but on top of that, and I feel SO bad for saying this, I'm getting REALLY REALLY sick and tired of having a housemate, even though she's meant to be a mate of mine. She's got this new boyfriend of whatever, who I think is a really bad influence (although he is apparently coming all the way from Palmy to visit her), and drives around in an old bomb of a Ford station wagon, and stays at our house during the day while she's at work ! She lost her licence a few weeks ago for DUI, and I understand the frustration of not having a car, but it's her own fault really. Plus, in the first trimester I asked her not to smoke inside (she was doing it in her room, and it wasn't like we'd said it was OK in the first place!), and she agreed to stop and did (and went outside on the deck)... but then after we got back from our trip to Canada, about a week later, it started again !?!?! I can't for the life of me think of why the F*** she'd think it would be ok to do this when I already said it makes me sick ?? Plus who wants their developing baby around all that nasty secondhand smoke. Anyway, Roland asked her if she'd started doing it again just so we could be sure, she said yes, and so he's asked her (yes, for the second time) to stop and it looks like she has. I can only really put it down to the boyfriend, but I could be overreacting?? In all of this I somehow feel like I'm being really mean and nasty, but another example is that our dishwasher is all of a foot away from the sink right in the middle of the kitchen bench... and she never empties it, or puts dirty dishes in it - (well, almost never, maybe once a week!) and so they sit on the bench or in the sink. Then there's the fridge - she never throws anything out. And I don't know if I pointed it out, but with the bf visiting and being here during the day when she's at work - it means he has her key and can come and go as he pleases, which I'm not entirely happy about as our house is also on the market - which compounds the whole issue of them being so damn messy. So now I feel like having a lie down and a great big fat cry, coz I feel so paranoid and bitchy and just want things to run smoother - anybody want to buy a half acre section with a giant garden and two story house ??? Plus even our cats don't come inside as much anymore, except for blondie (dumbo cat) Nina... and I miss them heaps, and am going to miss my budgies and ratties too when they go to new homes later this month.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR !!! *bangs head on desk* WHY WHY WHY !!! This Classic "Help I'm going insane - so how on earth am I going to cope with a real live baby!?!" Moment brought to you by 2 Minute Noodles. *sigh* Jax  ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Replies:
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 07 February 2006 at 3:09pm
|
oh hunny i no how u feel my sis and b/f are here and although i love them they r lazy 18 year olds maybe talk to her again and get the key off her b/f he donst need it or have the right to have it ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 07 February 2006 at 3:32pm
Hrmmmm... kick her out and blame your hormones??? 
Why don't you let her know you are getting stressed about little things like that, without pinning it all on her. Perhaps make a big deal about the house being on the market and if she has any respect for you she should be more considerate. But yeah, it's pretty normal in pregnancy to get really frustrated with people. I absolutely despised my flatmate when I was pregnant, despite him being the sweetest guy in the world. I don't know what got into me!? |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 07 February 2006 at 3:50pm
| It can be really stressful living with friends, because you feel like a real bitch if you say things that are annoying you, but if you don't, you explode! I lived with my friend and her boyfriend and we drove each other insane. One day we sat down and talked to each other about it and agreed that to continue being friends, we couldn't live together anymore (we are still good mates!) I think you really need to talk to her and say how everything is stressing you out. Explain that it isn't just her, but the stress of having a baby and stuff. She'll hopefully understand and try to do more to help you. And if she doesn't, you can do what Nikki said and kick her out. At least you'll know that you gave it a go and gave her a chance |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 07 February 2006 at 4:35pm
|
Well... as well as what I mentioned before, Rols and I have decided to give her notice tonight or tomorrow night, approx. 5 weeks. Although if the smoking starts up again, that's it - no notice needed. Plus I've also just discovered upon checking my bank account that she is almost three weeks behind in rent, and hasn't paid the latest power or phone. I *SO* need my own space !!! ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 07 February 2006 at 4:45pm
At least that will make it easier to give her notice (her not paying) you won't feel so bad then...  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 07 February 2006 at 4:53pm
|
Well you already know what I think...
*BIG HUGS* ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 07 February 2006 at 7:39pm
|
I agree with everyone else - put on your big boot and get to booting! You need your space! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 07 February 2006 at 7:43pm
kick her out kick her out i,ve had the ;i,ll pay tomorrow; flatmate and the stress isnt worth it hope u feel better soon ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: WiggleBumsMum
Date Posted: 07 February 2006 at 8:34pm
|
oh my god she sounds like a real stressmaker!!
After living with two guys on two seperate occasions and having ungrateful messy house guests to stay numerous times i can safely say I hate visitors and I will never live with anyone but me and my husband and children ever again!!! Kick her to the curb galfriend, you don't need that stress, she is totally ignoring your wishes and disrespecting your rules for your house!! And as for being 3 weeks behind in rent and bills, well there is NO excuse for that! I don't understand how anyone could do that to anyone else, especially a friend!!! I hear ya galfriend!! I hate cleaning up after other people it makes my blood boil! I have just spent the last 7 months cleaning up after the last people that were in this house! grrrrrrrr  ------------- http://www.GlitterMaker.com/"> 
|
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 08 February 2006 at 8:09am
|
I agree just tell her its not working out. A good friend came to live with us once and I would never have her back again she was such a slob. I ended up telling her that rob and i were so used to living just by ourselves we found it really hard living with another person and it wasnt her we just needed our space. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 08 February 2006 at 9:10am
|
I can't believe she's 3 weeks behind in rent and hasn't paid last bills?!?!??!?!?!? That's enough on its own to get rid of her without all the other crap.
I don't understand how you can get that behind in rent and still afford cigarettes?!?! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 08 February 2006 at 12:37pm
|
Good point Nikki. Yep, you def have a good reason to ask her to leave now. I used to live with friends and I would never do it again - too much stress. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 08 February 2006 at 9:40pm
|
Nikki - not to mention the two boxes of beer, or the two parrots she has to take care of.
She put $120 of the $320 through last night, and will put the other $200 through on Thursday. I typed out a letter with the date we decided on that she has to move out by, and will print it out at work tomorrow - I want her to sign both copies so we have our arses covered. I can't wait for this to be over !!!!!  ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 08 February 2006 at 10:12pm
|
What was her reason for not having paid any rent? Shes obviously had some money if she was able to pay you some last night and she is working too? ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 08 February 2006 at 10:22pm
|
I wasn't given one - when she bowled on out to the deck to have a smoke and another beer, I made a point of saying we had to catch up over her rent and bills, and just laid it out as simply as possible. She later asked me to confirm the exact amount, which I did, and then told me about which amounts she could put through and when. *shrug* Good enough for me for now, but I will really lose my nut if she doesn't keep her word this time. As we are the owners I have just found out we could boot her with no notice. I hate feeling like I'm doing something mean, but friends don't do this to friends. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 08 February 2006 at 10:25pm
|
unfortunately some people think that becasue you are friends you will let it slide. Personally, I also would HATE the idea of her b/f being there when no one else is. *shudder* You're well shot of her. Do you think your friendship will be salvaged? Good luck! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 08 February 2006 at 10:26pm
|
Wait ! I almost forgot to mention that today's news was that she got in a huff (apparently provoked by the new manager) and was tempted to resign... !!!!! I can understand a fraction of why that might be, as the disorder and bad communication at her workplace is the majority of the reason I left...
But I had to fake amusement, as inside I was going... "DON'T YOU F*CKING DARE !!!!!!!!!!!!".... if she leaves her job then that would make things even worse for us.
Edited to add: No, I'm not expecting to salvage anything from this, let alone a friendship. I can't wait to be rid of the whole mess. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 09 February 2006 at 8:11am
|
friends don't take advanatage of friends...simple as that Jax. Kick her sorry a$$ to the curb
(sorry, been at home watching too much Ricki) |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 09 February 2006 at 8:55am
|
lol Liz
|
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 09 February 2006 at 2:39pm
ooooh Ricki is on tv? When and where!!??  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 09 February 2006 at 3:13pm
Dammit Ana, now have to admit that i was downloading ricki lake.....on purpose  
|
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 09 February 2006 at 5:12pm
| I hope you are kidding Liz |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 09 February 2006 at 5:47pm
|
heck I would, lol, I loooove her!!
You go girl!!! hehehehe ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 09 February 2006 at 6:06pm
|
I know what you mean Jax once you live with urself and partner its really hard to have a flatmate, we have one at present till she finds somewhere to stay and i already feel like i cant be myself and shes not even here much lol
Its the best when you live with just you and ur partner i hope it all gets sussed out for you soon you so dont need all the stress aye
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 09 February 2006 at 7:06pm
|
Who needs Ricki - Dr Phil is back on!!!!! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 09 February 2006 at 8:13pm
|
and oprah yeha lololol i love dr phil too. god i am a housewife aggggggggg!!!! ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 09 February 2006 at 8:17pm
|
Who needs housewives??? We're Domestic Goddesses !!!! ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 09 February 2006 at 8:50pm
|
LMAO - I'm definitely a housewife hehe, except that we have a cleaner... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 09 February 2006 at 8:55pm
i'm a working mum now, no daytime tv! ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 10 February 2006 at 7:25am
I work from home, and Dr Phil comes on at lunchtime (how convenient  ). So I eat lunch and fold the washing while I watch him. Multitasking!------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 10 February 2006 at 1:40pm
|
I have a strict rule - no daytime tv else I'd get nothing done! Plus my hubby works from home so I dont want him thinking I do nothing all day!
Oh, and yay - Desperate Housewives is back!!! ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 10 February 2006 at 2:44pm
|
Except I was too tired to watch it last Monday... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 10 February 2006 at 4:07pm
|
i dont no if i,m a godess lol ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Roxy
Date Posted: 12 February 2006 at 7:26pm
|
Yeah yay desperate housewives!!!I had my little sister and her then bfriend live with us when Caleb was 8mths.All they did was fight and slam doors and have dramas.Then he left and she stayed for maybe 4more months.It sucked because she was really lazy and never did anything to help me(I did her washing aswell).she never once did the vacuming or anything and I hated having to ask her for board money.We even had debt collecters come here for her!!!!Needless to say we ended up hating each other and when she moved out we ignored each other for a year or so.We finally decided to try put the past in the past but I will always remember how used and abused I felt.We get on ok now but I undersand how pissed of you must be!!!! ------------- Caleb 15/11/02 Brooke 14/11/05 |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 12 February 2006 at 10:30pm
|
i feel the same right now the same thing happing here and it suxs!!!!!!!! ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Roxy
Date Posted: 13 February 2006 at 9:20pm
|
you got sister living with you??? ------------- Caleb 15/11/02 Brooke 14/11/05 |