My friend...
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14915
Printed Date: 27 July 2025 at 6:03am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: My friend...
Posted By: LittleBug
Subject: My friend...
Date Posted: 01 March 2008 at 1:02pm
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My friend had a miscarriage yesterday. She and her fiance got pregnant accidentally, but they have always really wanted to be parents and did want the baby heaps. She was 10 weeks along. Is in hospital atm and having a scan this morning to check everything. They are pretty tired but both of them seem ok, and I don't know if it's hit her really, yet. She said she doesn't feel that attached because she hadn't even had a scan or anything, honestly, she actually seems really together about it. Was just wondering what I should be saying/doing to be a good friend to her... I have no idea. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Replies:
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 01 March 2008 at 1:27pm
It's always hard to know what to say as everyone is different. Just be aware that she may be alright now but her hormones will drop off in a couple of days (just like the baby blues that you would have had a couple of weeks back yourself) and that can be a bit miserable before things pick up. I guess a m/c is a grief that is done in little steps. PLEASE don't say "you can have another one" - it seems to be the most complained about quote!  -------------  |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 01 March 2008 at 2:00pm
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yes...or 'things happen for a reason' !:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 01 March 2008 at 3:47pm
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and the classic "but at least you know you can get pregnant". It may hit her one she gets home after the hormones leave her body. Try your best and don't worry if she doesn't want to hold or be around Chloe, its not Chloe its the hormones. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Vanillabean
Date Posted: 01 March 2008 at 4:40pm
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I have lost count the number of times people have said to me "at least you know you can get pregnant". Its so not the point.
I like it best when people say "I'm so sorry" and respect the fact that I am grieving rather than gloss over it. But thats just me. ------------- 5x mc, Jan 08, June 08, Nov 08, May 09, April 11 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Huggles
Date Posted: 02 March 2008 at 6:31pm
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Janey... I have just gone thru the same thing that your friend is going thru at the moment only a couple of weeks ago... I second what everyone has said as above. All I can say is just be there for your friend. You can just be with her and if she wants to talk about it she will. My friends were fantastic and didnt say any of those "nice" quirky comments which was great as that was the last thing that I wanted to hear.
Good luck for your friend and that she comes thru ok. xxx |