Should I be annoyed?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15291
Printed Date: 04 October 2025 at 3:00am
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Topic: Should I be annoyed?
Posted By: newmum
Subject: Should I be annoyed?
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 8:05am
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...or should I just get over it?
We are on a very strict budget at our place (aren't we all  ) so I haven't been shopping for anything for myself for a LONG LONG time! I even have to calculate anything we spend for the kids - clothes etc and I always run it past DH.
So DH just this week has bought a computer part on trade me for $39 (didn't even tell me until he'd bought it), went out to the movies with a mate on Tues. (that's fine, I suggested it) and then yesterday came home with a new drill for $60!! I know this doesn't seem like a lot of money for most people but for us it is LOTS! I am so annoyed that he spent this money without even running it by me. So my question: Am I allowed to be a bit annoyed or should I forget it and just start doing the same thing? grrr  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 8:15am
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If you start doing the same thing the you will end up really skint. I would talk to him and explain why you are annoyed.
He probably didn't even think, he might not realise that you are running every purchase by him first so didn't see the need to run it by you. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 8:19am
I did tell him I'm annoyed and why, he doesn't seem to care? Maybe because he earns the money he thinks he's entitled to do it? LOL, I didn't mean it with doing the same, I'd feel much to guilty and I really don't want to get into debt  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 8:27am
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Does he do it frequently or is this a bit out of the norm?
I would be inclined to have my rant then let it go. But if it carries on, then it might be a different story....! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 8:35am
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Definitely out of the norm. Yeah, I guess we all need a blow out every now and then. Hate money ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: sparkle
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 8:46am
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My DH is just the same! I don't want to go back to work, so run our household on a very tight ship. I allow for EVERYTHING but still he finds new things to spend the money on!!!
His thing is to put it on the credit card though, so then I have to go and find money from other places to pay it off. Have a rant each time I say until he gets the message! (not that my man has yet  )------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 8:58am
OOOhhhhh Petey........ I smell a PP splurge coming on, lol... ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 9:33am
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How do you organise bank accounts? I reccoemend to everyone that people keep their own accounts then pay into a family account all money for the family, keeping in your own accounts your spending money. Hard when (like now) you aren't getting any moulah in to yours, but at least he has his own money to do what he likes with and isn't getting itno money earmarked for bills!
I would be really annoyed as I too run a tight ship, but DH always asks what we have and what he can spend if he needs more than his (very small) spending money. -------------  
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 9:50am
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We do that as well miss, DH has some money in his account which pays for his petrol and also any take outs etc he want to get when at work, his gym membership and then he has some to save for other bits he might like. I take some money out of what I earn and keep it for the same things and then all the rest of our money is pooled for bills and savings and then we talk about large expenditures.
But we are both guilty of abusing our CC  -------------
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 1:19pm
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Own accounts would work if we had money to put in them... We have about $150 a month for spending on anything - clothes, takeaways, presents... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 1:37pm
| I'd talk to him and explain your concerns. If he doesn't get it after that then raaaaaaaant away!! |
Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 1:38pm
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my dh knows better to ask and I think when you are together and on one income and you are in charge of the finances then he should ask and not spend. ------------- 
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Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 2:57pm
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We are the opposite here..... DF is the saver and I am the spender. I sometimes had to hide purchases but now that all our accounts are linked he can keep a watchful eye on it- damn it!
I would just leave it as every one needs to have a blow out and treat themselves. If it happens again soon then rant rant rant!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Henna79
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 3:32pm
| we started a cash only budget a few months back and its great!! we sort of based it on Money Mans thing and have money each week for takeaways, groceries, petrol and sanity money for both of us. It really is good. There is always the money in the account for bills and also other little things that come up. |
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 3:43pm
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My hat goes off to people that can budget, I suck at it. I wish I was better but plain fact is that I am usually the spender! We are lucky and dont need to budget that much but still, we could probably save better if we did! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 3:53pm
| when lewis and I were on a m uch tighter budget, we had an allowance each - we could spend that without feeling guilty. Lewis' was actually much bigger than mine - as his also had to take into account eating out at work (no microwave so only grilled food). we aggreed on that amount and took it out each week. it worked really well. |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 6:55pm
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newmum - while things are really tight obviously, does he get any spending momey? If so, then he is being out of order and needs to have his cashflow card taken away! if not, it is worth building at least a small amount in somehow just so he doesn't feel hard done by and stuff everything up. -------------
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 10:16pm
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Awww i think you are entitled to your rant and I am like you Ana..THAT IS ALOT OF MONEY out of my budget too! When you are on a tight budget it is really unfair for the other person to go out and spent willy nilly. WHo cares whether he has had any money to spent lately on himself as YOU havent had any so fairs fairs when you are trying to keep the bills maintained and feed the kids on a strict budget etc .. Hope he doesnt do it again or put him in the naughty corner ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 10:30pm
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We would find that a lot too. Are you particularly wanting to buy anything right now, winter clothes for you or the kids for example? He might need to know that to get it in perspective. Yea often the earner feels "entitled" to spend it but if you are going to be on a single income everything really has to be agreed in some way. We have our own spending allowances, even $10 a week each is great and it won't really affect your budget because you'll probably find that you are already spending it but just with guilt. When you know that you have a regular amount available to you it makes things a bit less stressful. Sounds like time for a talk about what systems you guys want in place... -------------  |
Posted By: cat007
Date Posted: 17 March 2008 at 10:00pm
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We also get an allowance each week - it works and we dont feel guilty for spending it on ourselves and also cant have a complain about each others spending. I used to be a spendthrift but have reformed however my DH is a big spender and cant budget or live on a shoe-string. Ive taken over the accounts and confiscated his credit card - slowely we are now getting out of debt. Now we no longer have fights bout money as I just tell him how it is and he then has to earn it - we do run our own business tho so it is different than being on wages. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  [/url http://lilypie.com">
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