Bringing balance to the force...
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15312
Printed Date: 02 October 2025 at 11:25am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Bringing balance to the force...
Posted By: Chovynz
Subject: Bringing balance to the force...
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 7:18pm
I thought I'd share with you a balancing POV about men. From a man. And to prove its not just about sex. GASP! I said it. Sex. Sexsexsexsex. Mmmmmmmmmmm sex.
Uh....where was I?
Oh yes! Balancing.
Here you go. Not written by me. Link down the bottom.
 gooneruk wrote:
Things that make Men proud of themselves
There are a lot of things that us men do that are just plain awesome. We are without doubt cool as ice, and it’s things like these that reinforce this in our own heads.
- HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with. If you don’t have one of these, get one asap. And some paint to stir. The piece of wood must always have paint to about halfway up it from the last time you used it.
- KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - “A Phillips? For that? Are you mad?” And intuitively knowing which way to turn when using a screwdriver, wrench or any other tool.
- HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it’s over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.
- OPENING JARS - She’s struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn’t. Jars are men’s work.
- CALLING SOMEONE ‘SON’ - Especially policemen but even saying it to kids makes you the man. Or “boy”, that works too.
- SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don’t need a sharpener, I’ve got a knife
- GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction.
- DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, “Let’s go” and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. You’re hard.
- HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. “Big night?” Grr, what does it look like.
- HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it’ll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. “Ooh, did it hurt?”… “Nah”.
- NODDING AT COPPERS - A moment’s eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. “We’ve not seen eye to eye in the past”, it says, “but someone’s got to keep the kids in line”.
- USING POWER TOOLS - Slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. And examining the contents of another man’s shed, knowing that your power tools are both bigger and better.
- ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE - And everyone cheers you. It doesn’t mean you’re popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub doesn’t know that.
- NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - Fat is a feminist issue, apparently.
- WINKING - Turns women to putty. Doesn’t it?
- TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - Ideally, Mitre 10 would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we’ll make do with the aisles.
- TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - Okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.
- HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - Especially if you didn’t make a fuss. “Why was I off? Nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage”.
- PARALLEL PARKING - Bosh, straight in. First time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his car’s got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.
|
http://testumblrone.com/post/28405870 - The Third Place
The only thing I can add to that is ... Amen and Amen.
Edited for NZ context and Ohbaby audience. Now...onto that other topic.....
-------------
Defending the male species since 1980 
|
Replies:
Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 7:49pm
The jars thing is mystifying. But so true... 
-------------
 
 
|
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 8:14pm
Love it!! Can just see a row of changing rooms at Mitre 10 which guys checking out how big their butt looks in the tool belt!
-------------
Lindsey
|
Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 8:30pm
HAHA!! Love it! I think DH fits no. 13 perfectly! ALWAYS has to arrived LATE to meet the boys! 
-------------
My babies:
R (9),G (7), J (5)
http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 9:29pm
Posted By: The_Stuarts
Date Posted: 14 March 2008 at 9:45pm
Love it, that's my DH to a tee. Except he is also really good at flower arrangements (shhhh, don't tell him I let that slip).
-------------
http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 7:30pm
lolol... except the jars thing.. I'M the one undoing the jars in this house.. and yep, i do the "you must have loosened it for me" thing lol
-------------
Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 7:51pm
Oh that is Willie on soooo many levels, he is the ultimate alpha male!
-------------
 Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 16 March 2008 at 11:44am
|
lol thats classic , and so true
|
|