Help please!!! What do i do?
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Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15321
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Topic: Help please!!! What do i do?
Posted By: Guests
Subject: Help please!!! What do i do?
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 1:14am
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I'm absolutely gutted, heart-broken and pis*ed off.
Back in October last year my partner got a new phone on contract over the internet and put it in my name... Received a bill in Mid January for $1900. Yes ladies $1900 which he had clocked up all the amount in December except $42. Rung Vodafone once i recieved the bill and asked them what websites had been accessed from his phone as $1800 of it was WAP usage... Internet in other words. They told me it was all these internet chat and flirt sites. Which made me really angry! I also discovered he was texting 2 numbers constantly, none of which belonged to his family or friends. So i asked him whose the numbers were. He replied with "Oh, one of them is Tim's girlfriend Renee's number and the other one i don't know whose it is... Sounded suspecious to me when he didnt know whose this number was that he was texting all day everyday (NOT MINE!), so i decided to ring the two numbers and find out who they were. The number he said was Renee (Dan's gf) was a girl named Shontelle. The other another girl who said she met Jeff on a flirt chat website. So again i confronted him and told him i knew who they were to tell me the truth. He just told me the same thing as previously but after i mentioned Shontelle he said oh yeh that's Tim's gf... when she told me she knew no Tim. I ended up back at mum and dad's thinking about whether i could ever trust him again and stay together or whether i should end the relationship. I went back one last time to our flat in town and told him to tell me the truth right then and there. And he did. Told me that he got there numbers of a chat site. I told him that i would come back on the condition that he never did it again and promised to always be honest from then on. HE PROMISED ME! Here's the spin. Tonight i received a text on my Vodafone saying "Thank you for using Txtchat. Carry on chatting using text or try interactive chat on Vlive!" with a lick attached to the message. So i got on the computer and typed in the link....... It's another Chat/ Text flirting website. And he was the one that had my fone the last few nights on the bedside table on his side of the bed. I'm so angry and really heart-broken. I don't know what to do. He has got work in the morning at 4am and should be home tomorrow afternoon after midday (12pm). Please help me ladies as im 36 weeks pregnant with Our Twin Boys... And stressing out big time. I can't sleep with him tonight so i think il go sleep in the Lazy-Boy chair in the babies room. 
CLAIRE |
Replies:
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 3:52am
I really dont know what to say except he has broken your trust again:( not that it is an excuse but did he give any reason last time?
 to you ...his behaviour sucks:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Angie
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 6:10am
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Hey dude,
My partner also got a text tonight that said the same thing from vodaphone - He said he had no idea why they were sending him a thank-you for using text chat - I kinda believe him cause its not really his sorta thing! (I could see him being sneaky n stuff but thru other means!!) Sooooo it could possibly just be a random thing they are sending out to drum up interest in their new site.... we actually commented they better not be a scam kinda thing & start charging his phone $3.50 a day for stoopid messages he didn't ask to receive! Good Luck getting everything resolved & back to looking forward to having two beautiful lil boys keeping you up half the night!!! P.S Just have to add I'm jealous about the lazy-boy!! I had one last pregnancy & it was the best place EVER to breast feed & I'm peeved we cant squeeze one into our weeny house this time around.  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: emmaohara
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 8:01am
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I also got that text and have never used the service so it must have been a stupid one they are sending out to make us use it, bad timing though vodaphone
Big hugs to you and hope you got some sleep girl ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 8:42am
| Just remember if the phone is in YOUR name, just ring up and get it cut off :) Sucks when they do that crap - i'd be having a good old yell at him. |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 9:04am
| I got that random text too and only I use my phone so it was just advertising from the look of it. |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 9:32am
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He lied to you, after you gave him the opportunity to tell you the truth. I guess what you need to decide is whether or not you can trust this man.
I think you should disconnect the phone and sell it. You need to sit down with him and tell him that you aren't happy with the fact that he lied to you. Find out whether or not he is happy with you. You can't afford to be stressed out like this and you need to point that out to him. I think what he's done is awful and I'd be pissed off with my DH if he did anything like that. I have a very dim view on guys who use those kinds of websites. Have you checked the saved messages and the sent ones? Maybe that will give you some insight on what he was texting those girls. Good luck, I hope you get it sorted. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 9:43am
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Yes i have checked his inbox and outbox and nothings there... but i didnt expect to see any there anyway coz as soon as he sends a text he deletes them.
It may only be advertising but i wouldn't put it past him as i have caught him before using my phone in the middle of the night and when i wake up he turns the phone on an angle so i cant see it... and changes the website he's on. He's also started deleting all the HISTORY of websites visited on the internet on the Computer. I can't see the need to do that unless he's doing something wrong, i know i don't delete the history becasue i've got nothing to hide! CLAIRE |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 10:09am
I think you need to have a serious talk with him, it sounds like he is being very discetful(sp?). If my DF was doing that id be ripping his head off lol
Him deleting everything seems like he hiding something, if he had nothing to hide he would not delete all the history on the computer etc and his turning his phone away from you and in the middle of the night.... Definitly have a good talk with him and tell him you are not happy and wont put up with it, its not fair on you, you dont need crap liek this 36 weeks pregnant with twins! **hugs** ------------- |
Posted By: J&Ls mum
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 10:20am
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I also got that txt, i'm sure it doesn't mean anything because i have NEVER used txt chat. ------------- J - born 26th April 2008 and L - born 3rd Sept 2010 http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: Lee_Jon
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 10:45am
| I also got the same txt and I have never used anything like that on my mobile, why dont you call the cell phone company and see if it was some sort of advertising |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 11:47am
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I got the txt 2 - I thought the wording was a bit weird as I've never used a chat thing before but made it sound like I had.
But from what your partner has done in the past, I would kick him to the curb! Sorry that's not much help but seriously what a piece of shiz partner if he's racking up bills like that when you've got twins on the way, chatting to other girls, deleting the history... there's something he doesn't want you to know. |
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 12:56pm
| My ex was doing this except with NZDating and Findsomeone. I always found out, would ask him to delete his accounts and he never did. He tried to tell me that you couldn't delete your account, it just lays dormant until you enter your username/password again. Obviously this is bullsh*t and I never believed him. He was doing this right throughout my pregnancy and after I had Sam. He never changed and he'll do it to every other girlfriend he has because that and many many other asshole things he did to me made me realise that I am worth SO much more than that and I deserved better, and so do you! It's bloody hard splitting up with someone when you've got a little baby and I can't even imagine what it would be like for you having two on the way! I hope things work out for the best for you and your little ones and that he has stopped doing this. |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 1:12pm
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Even though he's deleting the history, I bet he isn't deleting the cookies. You can check where he's been going via cookies too.
It just sounds all dodgy to me. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 1:54pm
| Or check your temp internet files |
Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 3:56pm
| I got that txt too |
Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 4:37pm
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Hey,
First of all big hugs, i have been through this also. As for the computer. I have a programme that hides in the background of your computer, he wont ever know its there and it takes a screenshot every 2 minutes and saves it to a random folder that he wont find. If you want to know the name of it, or if you ant me to send it to you flick me a PM.. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 5:12pm
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Oh that's good thinking Kandice!! ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 15 March 2008 at 8:41pm
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I would be really hurt and pis*ed off as well. My opinion is that you don't need this sort of stress and worry when you are pregnant or when the babies are born. If he has lied before then he will probably lie again. I am sure that it would be really hard but I would suggest cutting your losses and moving on. Your babies will need a loving environment not one where you are always wondering if he is mucking you around.
I wish you all the best and hope that you have alot of love and support from your parents and other family and friends. ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 16 March 2008 at 11:35am
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I'd have a big chat to him and suggest that if you are ever going to trust him fully again then he needs to let you have access to everything (including not deleting history or text messages)
That's just me though. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 16 March 2008 at 12:06pm
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I dont have any advice, just wanted to give you a big hug hun ,so sorry this has happened
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 17 March 2008 at 10:59pm
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What a stressful position! First thing I'd look into is some relationship counselling, obviously this is a very stressful and full-on time for both of you anyway, hopefully that can help you move forward. You can get govt-funded referrals to counselling at your local Family Court if you want. -------------  |