For once I am speechless
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1533
Printed Date: 16 October 2025 at 3:14pm
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Topic: For once I am speechless
Posted By: Maya
Subject: For once I am speechless
Date Posted: 13 February 2006 at 10:01pm
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I don't know what to say, and I don't have anywhere else to get this out but here. I apologise in advance if this upsets anyone.
I got a text message today from a friend in Sydney telling me to ring another friend urgently. So I did, and her husband told me that they lost their little boy last night. He was six months old. It looks like cot death. What am I supposed to say? This couple were such great support to me when I lost our baby a few weeks ago (I stayed at their house, I have photos of Maya with their little boy not six weeks ago). I am speechless. Absolutely gobsmacked. Sometimes life sux! Sorry to start such a depressing thread, but I needed to get this out, and I know you ladies are such a supportive lot  -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Replies:
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 13 February 2006 at 10:04pm
 Emma, how heartbreaking! And very scary. No idea what you can say to them, but I agree with you: life sure can suck!------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 13 February 2006 at 10:05pm
Oh My God I am so very sorry to hear that. Lots of love to you and your friends. What a very awful thing to happen. It makes me go all cold  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 13 February 2006 at 11:36pm
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Maybe just tell them that you don't know what to say but you are here to listen, and to give a shoulder to cry on..
That is so, so sad big ****HUGS**** to all of you.------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 6:40am
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That just brought tears to my eyes, how very very horrible. I guess all you can do is let them know you are there for them when they need you. How awful, it really goes to show how fickle life is and how you need to enjoy every second you get to spend with your children. Love and huge hugs to you, you will be in my thoughts all day. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 7:09am
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Oh my Gosh! That brought tears to my eyes, and I am not the one to cry. Emma, you poor thing (that seems to be underestminateing the magnitude of what's going on, but ...), it must be so hard to think of what to say to your friends. I can't imagine what must be going on, for you as well as your friends. I'll be thinking of you too today and hope that you get comfort from that (in some small small way)
I just don't know what to say.... |
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 7:49am
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Oh Emma, big hugs to you and your friends,
In a time like this there isn't really a lot you can say to them, but they know you are there for them and that they can cry on your shoulder and they will take comfort from that. come and talk to us as you need to as im sure this is just as hard for you too. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 8:32am
Thank you all so much  I didn't sleep much last night, I just kept thinking about little Kalen, it all seems so surreal. A group of us have all arranged to put some money together for some grocery vouchers for them, not much in the grand scheme of things I know, but we thought more useful than flowers. My Mum is sending flowers as well.
I'm going to call them again later today, they get the autopsy results back then so I think it will be a tough day. It's just so bizarre, I met this lady online a few years ago, and have met her many times, was there all thru her pregnancy with Kalen, and Maya loves her older kiddie to bits. I just can't believe it. Out of the mouths of babes this morning tho - I was talking to Maya and explaining that baby Kalen had gone to heaven (she asked why I was crying) and she said "Just like our baby Mama" I guess I underestimated how much she understands what's going on around her.
Thanks again ladies for all your support, I felt yucky posting this thread as it is so morbid, but I need to process things in my head and this is my way of dealing with it I guess. And Lizzle, it does help to know that you are thinking of us  ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Carmel
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 10:48am
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I cant start to imagine what they are going through . My thoughts are with you and your friends
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Posted By: lenabeanz
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 10:52am
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I'm sorry to hear about Kalen, Emma. **Hugs**
I find when I am grieving that I just write and write and write and get all my feelings and thoughts out and I feel better after that I am amazed at Maya! It's amazing how they remember things and tell it back to you in their own little way - ------------- http://www.snugglepie.com"> 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 10:54am
| As a gift Emma, you said they had an older kiddie..I know they have some really neat kids books that relate to dealing with loss, maybe you could get them one of those. |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 10:59am
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Maybe, with your permission of course, it might help the older child if their parents (or you) said Kalen is looking after your baby now...
just a random thought. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 1:30pm
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Oh Emma that is so sad - it has bought tears to my eyes. Like everyone else said to just be their for your friends and share their tears. I have a wee poem that I will post for you that you could maybe do up nicely for them and give to them alittle later when the hurt isnt quite so raw for them. I gave it to my friend when her son died and she loved it. I will dig it out asap ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 1:32pm
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Found it
In a castle just beyond my eye, my baby plays with angel toys that money cannot buy. Who am I to wish him back into this world of strife? No - play on my baby, you have eternal life. At night when all is silent and sleep forsakes my eyes, I'll hear his tiny footsteps come running to my side. His little hand caress me so tenderly and sweet, I;ll breath a little prayer, close my eyes and embrace him in my sleep. Now I have a treasure that I rate above all others, for I have known true glory - I am still his Father (or mother if you want to change it) ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 1:34pm
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That's beautiful, Marlene. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 1:41pm
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That is beautiful Marlene. I am thinking of making a scrapbook page with the pics I have of Kalen to send to them in a few weeks when it is not quite as raw, and that poem is perfect. Thank you ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 2:05pm
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Oh Emma that is soooo sad. Life really is just a precious thread. Thinking of you all, i can't even begin to imagine the pain your family and your friends family is feeling right now. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 2:08pm
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Aw Emma, am so sorry to hear that. Big hugs. Will be thinking of you and your friends. Really makes you appreciate your own little ones aye ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: robyn
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 3:10pm
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oh that is so sad and that poem made me cry. Just the thought of losing a child makes me feel sick. I know when my friend lost her baby she was really upset because people felt they couldnt talk about her and she wished they would. My thoughts are with you all. ------------- KOBE born 19 March 2004 http://www.TickerFactory.com/"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 3:28pm
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Thank you ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 4:10pm
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so sorry to hear about little kalen, emma. how devestating. my thoughts are with you and your friends. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 14 February 2006 at 9:03pm
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oh emma my and my familys prayers are with u and your friends at this sad time i will from and for ever cherish my son and newphew ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 15 February 2006 at 7:37am
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Emma, Im so so sorry, That sucks. Sorry dont know what else to say.
Have found a couple of websites that might be of use to you. This one has all sorts poems etc http://72.14.207.104/search?q=cache:uYy-gvD0MugJ:poetry.sidsfamilies.com/+sids+poem&hl=en&gl=nz&ct=clnk&cd=1 and this one sympathy cards etc http://www.quickegreets.com/bereave/index.html ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 February 2006 at 10:30am
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Thanks Maria, will check them out now. I kind of feel like I shoudl write something myself, being a writer and all, but it just seems so useless. NOthing I can write will bring their little boy back, its just heartbreaking.
But I'm so pleased by how well all of us (our group) have come together for them. We have collected $500 between us to put towards a grocery delivery for them, and everyone has sent flowers and card etc. so I hope they know that we are thinking of them. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: AnnaD
Date Posted: 15 February 2006 at 11:50am
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Emma, this is the saddest thing i have heard. I can think of absolutely nothing to say, I am so sorry. ------------- Anna and Quinn 10 July 2004 www.quinnariki.blogspot.com and one more on the way.... http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kasbee
Date Posted: 15 February 2006 at 4:00pm
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Emma, all i can say is how sorry i am about the loss of Kalen. Can only imagine what you and your friend are going through big 's going your way. ------------- Kelly, mother to 4 wonderful children. http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: fairsk8
Date Posted: 16 February 2006 at 10:12am
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It is true Emma that nothing you can write will bring little Kalen back but what you do write will be from your heart and let the family know that you are thinking about them. It will be something for the family to cherish and look back upon. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
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