Friends who get pregnant the first month
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15384
Printed Date: 19 August 2025 at 7:47pm
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Topic: Friends who get pregnant the first month
Posted By: Vanillabean
Subject: Friends who get pregnant the first month
Date Posted: 17 March 2008 at 9:40pm
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I'm finding it difficult to cope with my friends and acquaintances who get pregnant very quickly. Its been a year now since I came off contraception and I have one friend who started ttc just after me and now has a 10 week old baby. I have another friend who has been pregnant twice over that time (although sadly the first pregnancy ended in a still birth) and have just heard of another who started trying this year and got pregnant straight away. Its so horrible because I feel so jealous, even when the pregnancies don't stick. I feel like I've been desperate to have a baby for the last couple of years and first I had to wait for my DH to decide he was ready to ttc and now that we have been trying for a while I find that it has taken far far longer than I ever expected. Sorry just a vent. ------------- 5x mc, Jan 08, June 08, Nov 08, May 09, April 11 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 17 March 2008 at 9:47pm
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Vanillabean. I am one of those people! One of my closests friends was like you. We all fell pregnant straight away and yet she was the first to get married etc so thought she should be the first to have babies.
It was awful as all of us had our babies and her brothers had theirs. But.....good news is she is now pregnant after a year of TTC and she's expecting twins so she will beat us all to no 2. 
Hang in there chick. It has to be your turn soon. |
Posted By: Vanillabean
Date Posted: 17 March 2008 at 9:50pm
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I know that is most probably what will happen but I guess feel like its a personal failing (even though I know its not)and I am just not very patient. I haven't been the whole time. ------------- 5x mc, Jan 08, June 08, Nov 08, May 09, April 11 http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 17 March 2008 at 10:00pm
Man don't you just hate "those" people. Feel free to rant about them in here
It took us 12 months to concieve Spencer. That was 7 months of nothing then a 6 month break when I changed jobs and then another 5 months. Was awful I so thought the minute I stopped the pill I would get pg, if I had known it was so difficult I wouldn't have been so anal about taking my pill. Have recently spent another 4 months trying for #2 to then have a miscarriage and my SIL announces that she is 12 weeks pg. She didn't know about the miscarriage just sucky timing, and then tell me how it happened with the first month of trying again the same as with her first. Good luck for this month  ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Vanillabean
Date Posted: 17 March 2008 at 10:05pm
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Thanks cuppatea ------------- 5x mc, Jan 08, June 08, Nov 08, May 09, April 11 http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 17 March 2008 at 10:42pm
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Absolutley rant away!!!
All of my friends have babies that are much older than my wee girl due to this exact fact. My very best friend would announce they were trying and both times get PG that first month! I always just assumed that after all the years of being careful and trying not to get pregnant that it would just be a case of not being so careful anymore! Boy was I wrong. The worst thing is that in the time I was trying to get PG my SIL had 3 babies!!! They would constantly ask us when we were going to provide cousins! This used to hurt me so much and I would go home and cry for days after every visit with another new niece or nephew!  Eventually we had to ask my MIL & SIL not to mention it anymore because I just couldn't cope with the unfairness of it!
Still the great news is after a few years of trying we eventually got our perfect little girl. If we had gotten PG sooner it wouldn't have been with her which makes the wait totally worth it ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 18 March 2008 at 10:13am
i'm one of 'those' people.....got pregnant both times basically the first night of trying. i totally feel for those who take a while to get pregnant and can't imagine the emotional rollercoaster that goes with it. keep your chin up love, it will happen for you....hopefully soon  ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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cuppatea wrote:Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 18 March 2008 at 11:24am
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It's perfectly natural to feel that way Vanillabean. I used to find it so hard myself - I find it amazing sometimes that we were TTC before my BIL and SIL and yet they now have 3 children! Plus, we were already so far down the track TTC when my brother and his wife found out they were unexpectedly pg with their little girl who is now 6 months! Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to help feeling this way, you just have to find a way to cope with feeling that way, if you know what I mean? It makes it easier on you.
Besides - if they're all done when you fall pg, it's all the more attention for you isn't it? You don't have to share because their babies won't be new and interesting any more!! ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 18 March 2008 at 11:29am
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P.S. Someone once said to me, and I mean absolutely no offence to anyone when I say this, but a 'friend' who knew I was having intense fertility issues emailed me out of the blue to gush that she was pg (24 weeks - I hadn't heard from her in months prior to that!). I didn't have a problem, sent her a long congratulatory email, excited for her, and quickly outlined where we were at with our journey along with other things we'd been doing, and I haven't heard from her since! I'd guess baby will be just about here now.
Anywho, I told a friend and she looked me in the eye and said "Anyone can spend 30 seconds on their back. It's not that impressive. What you're doing is much harder" (again, no offence - I'd love to be able to just spend 30 seconds on my back! )------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 18 March 2008 at 11:55am
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Hugs. It is really hard. It took us 24 cycles of trying and 3 cycles of clomiphene to conceive Elle so I totally understand.
Unfortunately (forunately???) I'm now one of those annoying people as I got pregnany with number 2 the first month of trying. It is really hard but you never know what the future holds so just try to hold onto hope. Hugs. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: turk13
Date Posted: 18 March 2008 at 2:08pm
| Vanillabean- it's so normal to be feeling the way you are, i'm in the same boat too! My best mate got pregnant straight away, and i was jealous as!! our time will come mate. good luck. |
Posted By: kobec
Date Posted: 18 March 2008 at 4:17pm
| I totally know where you are coming from vanillabean. I posted an almost exact same thread a few months ago. In the matter of 1 week my really good friend and my sister told me that they were pregnant after 1 mth of trying. I just felt so completely useless in the fact that obviously it wasn't a hereditary (sp) thing. I feel for you totally hun. |
Posted By: Vanillabean
Date Posted: 18 March 2008 at 8:28pm
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I don't hate people who conceive quickly, I would have been ecstatic if it happened to me. It just makes me feel so jealous and inadequate. ------------- 5x mc, Jan 08, June 08, Nov 08, May 09, April 11 http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 18 March 2008 at 9:51pm
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You must have very lucky friends, as nobody I know in my group of friends have had it easy with having their babies.
In fact it almost seems normal to me that it either takes a while to conceive or miscarriage is a normal part of having a family. This might seem strange, but I'm nervous about conceiving in the first month of trying as I want time to get used to the whole TTCing idea first. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 18 March 2008 at 9:58pm
you mean you want to "practice" lots
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Posted By: Snickerdoodle
Date Posted: 18 March 2008 at 10:04pm
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It will happen for you, hun. Good things take time
It took us 18 cycles to get pregnant. I fell pregnant a month after a friend of mine started actively trying. She's stopped talking to me!! Never mind the fact she's now pregnant (after 3 cycles) and it took us so long! You just can't win, huh  ------------- 
http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 19 March 2008 at 7:33am
Well we are newly weds. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Vanillabean
Date Posted: 19 March 2008 at 7:37am
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Ooh, wow you really are newly wed. Congrats!!! ------------- 5x mc, Jan 08, June 08, Nov 08, May 09, April 11 http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 19 March 2008 at 10:35pm
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took us six months and i was soooo nervous we were going to get preggers before a GF who had been trying a year...luckily she fell pregnant around time we started....thank goodness cause i knew we couldnt bear to tell her if we get to it first....
Ginger - i love the logic hon!
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 21 March 2008 at 11:48am
Well, Caitlyn wasn't planned, at all, and i probably got pregnant pretty quickly (had only been with her dad for a couple of months  )
But who knows? maybe next time i ttc, cos its a different father etc it may take me a little longer, and i will join this thread ....I just sincerly hope none of you are still in it , IYKWIM .... Feeling jealous etc doesn't make you a bad person or anything chick....it just means your human |
Posted By: emachan
Date Posted: 22 March 2008 at 10:58am
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I am in both boats here - I fell pregnant straight after our honeymoon last year, I didn't know much about ovulation and timing etc, but was just 'doing' it to TTC, but yeah, not really hardcore and we fell pregnant the first month. Unfornately (as most people know) I had a missed m/c at 12weeks and from then on thought I would conceive straight away as we had done so quickly the first time. It took me 9 cycles afterwards to fall pregnant with this little bean, and during that time I tried EVERYTHING, from BD every 2nd day up to and just after ovulation, charting (BBT), OPKs, using pre-seed, eating pumpkin seeds and getting DH to use this supplement that supposably increases sperm numbers!
When we did conceieve in January, I had just one OPK left that I used on CD14, and my charting was a bit all over the place as I was away camping a bit of the time, and bingo! we finally are pregnant again. I think a lot of things for me to do with NOT conceieving so quickly was that I was so stressed with TTC and work was not a pleasant place last year (lots of stress) and the school holidays were an absolute lifesaver for me! Good luck chicky - and everyone else - it will happen! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD#1 Sept 08 DD#2 Oct 09 |
Posted By: Vanillabean
Date Posted: 29 March 2008 at 11:57am
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So I was at a work do last night and came upon a conversation where someone was complaining about people who boasted of getting pregnant the first month they tried. Thinking I'd found someone I could commiserate with I talked to her a bit more and it turned out she got pregnant the third month she tried and the first month she started timing sex around ovulation. When I mentioned I'd been trying for 12 months, temping the whole time and having had one miscarriage it kind of took her aback. I guess its difficult for people who haven't experienced taking a long time to ttc to know what its like. ------------- 5x mc, Jan 08, June 08, Nov 08, May 09, April 11 http://lilypie.com">
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