Fostering Children
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15564
Printed Date: 12 October 2025 at 9:22pm
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Topic: Fostering Children
Posted By: Jay_R
Subject: Fostering Children
Date Posted: 23 March 2008 at 1:34pm
Ever since I was a teenager I have always had the desire to foster a child. My mum has worked for many years in social work type roles (CYFS and the Childrens Commission) and some of the stories that she has told me (no names or anything, just general stuff) totally breaks my heart. The one story that really did it for me, was about a little boy who was removed from a very very horrible home just before Christmas, who told my mum that the one thing he wanted more than anything else in the world for Christmas was a mummy who loved him 
Well, I now feel that in a year or two, once Joshie is a bit older, that I would like to start fostering. We have a lovely home, a stable family and enough money to bring another child into our family. I've flagged it to DP a few times, and while he is not quite as keen as me, I'm pretty sure that he will get there. My question is: Do any of you lovely ladies currently foster, or know of others who do? What are the downsides? How do you know when it is the right time for your family? What can you do to prepare your biological children for the addition to the family of a child that has come from an unstable or horrible background? Any comments are welcome! TIA 
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Replies:
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 23 March 2008 at 1:39pm
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I have no experience with fostering, but I would definitely wait a few years. I just know how Hannah - as an only child - has reacted to another baby, at 2.5. It is a huge adjustment for littlies to have to share the attention. Not sure yet what a good age would be tho...
I think its a great thing you want to do tho, and I hope others are more helpful  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 23 March 2008 at 3:15pm
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i commend you and wish there were more people like you. I work in a role where foster parents are praised daily and am sure your mum will fill you in on a lot too.
Contact your local CYFS office or - and name will come to me and i will PM you (they have office in onehunga just past the sppedway and along from shell)....who set up foster parents. You will get training and then be ready cause we are always wanting people to foster short and long term...just the other day i heard about twins and they were desp to find a family to take them.... it will be rewarding but also hard - and you will need to ensure that you are all taken care of as the battles with natural parents even with cyfs help can emotionally take it out of you. all the best - and   for what you are considering.....
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Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 23 March 2008 at 5:13pm
| I have always wanted to foster children too but would probably not be considered because of my age and husbands age would particularly love to foster babies with my karitane experience and nannying experience |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 March 2008 at 6:31pm
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This is something I'm also considering for the future. If your DH is not keen yet, why don't you look into Barnados in the meantime? It's just for daytimes rather than 24/7 care. -------------  |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 23 March 2008 at 6:47pm
| age wont stop being approved as a careiver - i know someone in late 70s who was approved...and also there is such a lack of them in south and east auck that a good home with experience would be grabbed! |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 23 March 2008 at 9:33pm
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there was an 'older' lady in baby factory the other day when i was there and she had a foster bub that was only 4-5wks old.......made me wonder if that's what i should do, but i don't think i could handly it emotionally ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 23 March 2008 at 10:11pm
I would second what aimeejoy said about waiting till your child is older, my parents fostered children when I was growing up and they always fostered them younger than us and mostley boys as we were a two girl one boy family, they also ran a family home which could cater up to 8 children as well as us and it was alot of fun and alot of hard times too, especially having to share your parents with strangers but we coped ------------- 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 23 March 2008 at 10:23pm
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Maya's best friend was a foster kid who is now Permanently Placed with her "parents". She's been with them since she was 6 mths, and her full biological brother who is 11 is also in the same home. The kids call their foster parents mum and dad and have very little to do with their bio parents, haven't seen them in all the time we've known the family and that's 4 years.
They haven't had toooo many probs with the 5 year old (maya's friend) apart from her being very hyperactive and she also had a lot of allergies from being fed inappropriate foods at a very early age,but they have had huge issues with the 11 year old. They got him when he was 4 and he had already been in a number of homes (they placed hime with family members but it never worked out) and has huge attachment and trust issues, they've also had behavioural problems including stealing from local shops, aggression and inappropriate sexual behaviour. They've spent a fortune on different types of therapy, counselling etc. and are still doing so, he recently went on a Police-run camp for at-risk kids and really enjoyed it. Not sure if this helps or not, but I think that had they gotten J as young as they got N they would have had a far easier road, but just the same I think my friend and her DH find it really rewarding, especially as she was only able to have one bio child of her own (he's now 20). ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 24 March 2008 at 12:47pm
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I say if it's in your heart to do it, and if you and your DH both feel that way, then go for it!! Timing is really important though, because once the agency you foster for has accepted and trained you, they won't want to let you go - and the demand for good foster parents outweighs the availability. So I guess what I'm saying is if it's something you'd like to do after having another child, then don't start the process of being approved as a foster parent until then - it can all happen reasonably quickly if the need calls for it. But when you do feel really ready, plunge in, girl! Also, there's different agencies you can provide care through - CYFS is of course the biggest one, but there's also The Open Home Foundation (a national organisation) who have christian families as foster parents, and other local community organisations who provide a similar service. The legality of foster care is the same whichever agency you're providing through, as it all comes under the same pieces of legislation, but the support offered to foster parents can differ, so I think it pays to ask others who have fostered what their experiences have been. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 24 March 2008 at 3:38pm
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Open HOme - thats the one i was trying to remember!
They do a lot of CYFS placements...altho be VERY clear whether or not permanent placement is something you will consider or not - or whether you want to do respite care or foster for short or long periods...some kids return to families, some will fight all the way and others will be a permanent part of your family for the rest of your life. |