BF / forumla info for woman who cant BF
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15656
Printed Date: 21 August 2025 at 5:42pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: BF / forumla info for woman who cant BF
Posted By: tropics
Subject: BF / forumla info for woman who cant BF
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 9:32am
|
Hi ladies
I dont want to start a debate on pro breast feeding vs formula  and not sure if this is the right place to post this but.....
my aunty is 30 weeks pregnant and met a lactation consultant and was told that it is highly unlikely that she may not be able to breast feed, she is getting really down about it as the midwifes, people at the antinatal classes etc are all pro breast feeding and shes feeling really inadequate already etc....because no one talks about formula feeding....anyway is there any information or books out there that provides info on formula feeding or any of your experiences with how to cope with the taboo subject of formula feeding of those who couldnt or didnt bf anything that may make her feel better - not like a failure and inadequate if she cant breast feed? cause I could imagine that when baby comes and your sleep deprived and cant bf those feelings of inadequacy may get worse.... thanks for your help ladies ------------- http://lilypie.com">    [/url]
|
Replies:
Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 9:40am
the pressure on breast feeding is enormous! during my first pregnancy i only learnt about breast feeding and breast is best- i thought it would be easy and i'd do it 
when my wee girl arrived she had no real sucking reflex and as much as we tried and persisited breastfeeding for 6 weeks it just wasnt working out and i was developing quite bad depression. i was in tears because i feltlike a failure and had no support in my decison to bottle feed. the doctor i saw at 6 week check had me in tears even making me feel awful. i have found these days that while the breast is best is pushed there seems to be more info and support available for bottlefeeding mums. as long as bubs is feed, happy and healthy and mum is happy that should be all that matters. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 9:47am
|
I'm working on some bottle feeding info for OHbaby! that will be up by the end of next week, will include a How To guide.
Also, we're planning a feature on the cultural aspect of bottlefeeding for the July/Aug issue of the OHbaby! mag, we're going to be talking to mums about their experiences with the whole Breast is Best thing when bottlefeeding. Oh and I have a book called Bottle Babies by Adelia Ferguson, Katherine bought it on TM so you might be able to get a copy there or from Amazon possibly but it's a Kiwi book so might not be on Amazon. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 10:16am
Well there you go, now you don't have to hunt around for a copy  ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: tropics
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 10:34am
|
Awesome thanks ladies I have texted my aunty to see if she would like me to buy it for her leaving work at lunchtime so will PM you as soon as I hear from her ------------- http://lilypie.com"> [/url]
|
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 10:47am
|
I could breast feed my youngest boy. I tried for 3 weeks and all it did was cause him to lose ALOT of weight and me to be an absolute mess. So he's been bottle feed formula since then, and he's gone from being a scrawny little boy to a chubba bubba.
I have to say that I was gutted that I couldn't feed him mainly because I had fed my other two children without any problems and I just assumed that with number 3 it would be easy peasy. Not so. I'm happy to speak to you both about what I went thru and what I found that worked if you need too. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
|
Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 11:11am
Seb had no real suck reflex either... and he was a 38 weeker so not premmie or anything. He liked the bottles cause he didn't have to work for the milk, and since he wasn't feeding his blood sugar was dropping badly. I'm ashamed to say I felt a little like sending him back and asking for one that wasn't broken! And even now that he's stopped drinking formula fullstop I still feel irrationally guilty about the whole thing... silly things like maybe he's a slow talker because I didn't BF him.-------------  
 
|
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 11:21am
|
I couldn't BF as I need an operation on my breasts, I found the whole experience horrible as I tried my best but it just wasn't working. I fed him for 3 days but the day after we got home the m/w came around and told me to express. Jack also couldnt suck and was traumatised. I expressed for 2 weeks until the pain got too intense (hence needing the op) and he's been on formula since. AN classes aren't allowed to discuss FF from what I understand because of the pro bf thing. I will be FF the next baby, I wish I could have breastfed but we are so much happier and I'm even going to go off the anti-d's soon so all is good
|
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 12:32pm
| I couldn't breastfeed at all because my nipples are so flat that Sam couldn't even latch once. I got a lot of grief for this because basically nobody believed me and I was made to feel silly and lazy for not trying harder. I put him on the bottle at three weeks after exclusively expressing. I am happy with the choices I made even though I still get comments today about not breastfeeding! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 12:34pm
So THAT'S why the gremlins don't talk! Dammit!  ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
AliaDawn wrote:Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 12:45pm
|
i am wondering if maybe your aunty needs a second opinion cause it seems strange to me that she would be told she prob wont be able to bf when she hasnt even had the baby yet...(unless of course it is an obvious thing like she had a boob job that damaged stuff or her nipples arent normal, etc). ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
|
Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 2:04pm
Yeah i was thinking the same thing, my friend was warned that because of her severe PCOS it may not be easy to establish her milk supply, but not that it was impossible, she ended up BF exclusively for 4 months when she chose to stop (she is Frnech and the french don't culturally BF for long periods). She had heaps of support from the hospital LC, in the end everything worked well without intervention but support was there if she needed to persevere. Yes read the books, certainly the adele Ferguson one, saved my sanity when I had issues, but I wonder if it would pay to see another LC or La Leche for further advice. Again it may be something obvious reason that we are not aware of in which case definitely read the book. antoher friend has skin grafts cvovering her left boob and has manged to feed from one side only for 15 months ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
|
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 2:55pm
|
I got told I probably wouldn't be able to BF either but as it turned out with the help of nipple shields I could and now I don't even need to use those.
That being said I think it is horrible the way that the scales have tipped so far for 'breast is best' that it makes women feel bad if they can't or choose not to. I agree - whatever is best for mum and baby is the best decision. I hate the amount of women out there that feel inadequate and depressed simply because professionals refuse to acknowledge that for some people BFing is just not an option. -------------  
 
|
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 3:10pm
|
it wasnt that long ago that i started having my children and i remember the bottle feeding pamphlets that i got...and i honestly believe that some womens guilt doesnt come from the breast is best message being pushed but because they know they didnt try or want to and they are trying to live up to a perceived expectation.
BUT dont forget the OP didnt want an "argument" about the whole issue but rather some help with bottle feeding. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: rosewood
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 4:55pm
|
I have a friend Ali who's baby was unable to bf due to a condition that effects thousands of babies called tongue tie. The skin under the tongue is too short and tight so babies cant suck the nipple back far enough in their mouths. The skin can be nipped (which in painless apparently) but by the time that it is usually identified the mothers milk is already starting to dry up. Ali was told off by a complete stranger in a cafe once as she was bottle feeding her baby. She was distraught as she had wanted to bf but it was not possible. Some people can be so cruel and jump to conclusions about this high pressured issue. I am sure for some breast is best but like everything it is not for everyone and people should allow the individual to make their decision.
I am not pro or anti bf. I plan to bf this baby as I did manage to with my dd. However, if I cant then I wont feel a failure or pressurised by society to try to do something that is not possible. With a baby there is always the next thing to worry about.
I have now got off the horse ------------- Gill http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 8:05pm
I don't think that would have anything to do with it, so try not to feel bad hun. If it helps Jack was really behind with his talking too and didn't have bottles. |
Posted By: MyMinis
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 9:40am
|
I was given alot of grief about formula feeding, Haleigh I got really bad mastitis and with the antibiotics haleigh just wouldnt sleep and fed every hr, so formula was the best, with jame he refused to feed so formula it was, with haleigh i got really upset with comments, with james pfft i tell them to get over it ive heard them all. I got sick of explaining that i had flat nipples and it was a challenge to bfeed haleigh for 6days and express for 6wks as it was.
Plunket in Motueka gave me an awesome booklet on formula feeding, maybe ask the local plunket, the karitane nurse there was great she helped me and alot of other mums in my Pepe group feel good about ourselves and let us know we werent bad mothers for formula feeding James got reflux but i know plenty of bfed babies who got reflux to so I don't bring it down to formula feeding and AR got rid of that, both my kids were formula fed (haleigh had exceptiion of 6wks expressed) and both to me are very bright so I really dont like hearing from people that formula fed babies are slower, if they were James wouldnt be walkign around furniture and starting to talk already, Haleigh wouldnt have walked at 9.5months. There are alot of us formula mums out there, and not all plunkets push the whole breast is best thing, my MW i had with James felt bad cause in training they werent taught about formula so she couldnt really help with formulas etc, she wished they were taught more about it, my mw with haleigh adopted her first child so she was fantastic help and spent time with me making sure we got the right stuff, right bottles etc. ok my post turned into a novel, wasnt meant to do that lol, ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
http://tweetytweety85.bebo.com - bebo |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 9:47am
yeah, gabriel was fully bf till 14 mths and he certainly wasnt a good talker...in fact even now half it sounds loke goddlegook still. and re the tongue tie, gabriel had tongue tie and it didnt affect his drinking... we did have it snipped tho. babies with severe tongue tie can have trouble feeding tho. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: Joelle
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 10:34am
|
If anybody lives out Titirangi way - I noticed the book referred to in earlier posts was on the shelf in the library yesterday. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
|