House or family - what is your choice?
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Topic: House or family - what is your choice?
Posted By: MrsMojo
Subject: House or family - what is your choice?
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 10:59am
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I read this article on Saturday and it got me thinking.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominionpost/0a26959.html?source=nav - dompost article We started talking about it and we're on the same page (thank goodness) my DH and I have agreed we'd rather have more kids than own a home. If you had to make the choice again (or maybe are making the choice now) what would you decide? We decided 3 years ago to put of buying a house and start TTC instead. We almost bought a section in a popular suburb in Wgtn. We did the budget and figured we could afford to buy the land and pay rent but couldn't afford to build on it yet but we figured that we'd pay off as much as we could then use the land as collateral to build or sell it on - then we found out we were pregnant and since I was going to have to stop working and also with the initial costs of having a baby we decided not to buy the land. Pity because we could have sold it for a mighty profit but I don't regret it, how could I when I have my precious priceless daughter instead. With what's happened in the housing market over the past 3 years I don't see us owning a home - not for a long time anyway unless we move to a rural area and build on my parents land. I don't actually care though, I would rather have more kids than own a home. -------------  
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Replies:
Posted By: MumsyMoo
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 11:37am
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Well ideally we would've been in a home before we had kids... We're still young, me being 20 and DF being 24 in May.
However, it's not happened like that and that's OK. We have been looking at what's on the market for a whlie now as we would definitely like to be in our own home sooner as opposed to later. We've lucky enough to have the luxury of DFs parents wanting to help out by either paying half and we pay the other, or the most likely: they buy the house and we 'rent to buy' from them. As is, we're on a fairly low single income, renting a 2 bedroom unit for $300 a week and we do struggle quite a bit, but at the end of the day if we were in our own home, we would be FAR far worse. It's really hard to try work out what to do. Df has his heart set on owning his own home, and so do I... But at this present point in time, I'm just loving having my little baby girl. Sure the place we're in is small and cramped, but we're coping -------------  My wee girl is the love and light of my life!
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 11:39am
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We already had to make that choice and we choose family.
I read that on a $375K house the mortgage is around $900 per week...that is almost triple our rent!  Even if we were totally debt free we would struggle with that amount and we are not on low salary's!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 11:46am
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Yep that sounds right Paws. Our mortgage is for $280K and is $575 a week. With the interest rates rising, we have had to change it so we are paying interest only, otherwise it was going up by $230 a month.
Obviously it would depend on how much of the $375K of the house cost is mortgaged. I think u would have to have a pretty hefty deposit to be able to be loaned that much. |
Posted By: sally belly
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 11:51am
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It really is scary how high house prices are these days .
We currently own our own house (well a 2 bedroom unit at least) but will be selling it at the end of the year to move into a bigger rental. We are fortunate because we can rent a defence force house for quite a reduced rate. We were only really able to buy our place because DH spent 6 months in the Middle East a few years ago & the "danger money" he got meant he came back with quite a nice deposit. If it wasn't for this I don't know if we'd own anything or not. But to answer the question - I'd choose family over a house. I believe that life is too short to wait until the "right" time to have kids because it will never arrive. -------------    
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 11:51am
| we 'only' pat $470 pw for a 270k mortgage. we really wanted to buy a house before considering children as now we can choose when we leave, not someone else. we do struggle, but I don't mind having to work part-time and going back to work earlier tan planned (still will be when #2 is 18mos old) to have security. |
Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 11:51am
We got the house first. We've rented some sh*tholes, the last one ending at Tenancy Tribunal and 4 months later still haven't gotten our compensation. 
For us it allows us to feel more settled and at home. No one is going to sell the house from under us and if something needs fixed we don't have to wait for a landlord to come fix it. Then again we did own before we moved to NZ and are also thankfully in the situation where we could afford to buy. |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 11:52am
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We chose Isabelle ... especially as we knew we wanted one of us to stay home with her there is no way I could service a mortgage, rates etc etc in Auckland on my income (and I earn a pretty decent wage!) ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Red
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 11:54am
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I think having a house is important. I think that if you don't have a house before you have a family, what is the likelihood that you will ever be able to save enough for a deposit once you have kids?
That family in the paper had a 100% mortgage which I prob wouldn't want to go for to buy your first house. Another idea, go and work your a**e off in the UK for a couple of years before you have a family and that will set you up for life! |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 11:57am
Yep thats what we did!! Lol! Well not exactly work our a**es off, did plently of fun things too  .
But with the interest rates rising and high house prices its only going to get less and less affordlable to our your own home. |
Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 11:57am
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I was still studying while we were TTC. It made sense for us to have kids first rather than me starting work, saving for a deposit, buying a house then absolutely struggling to pay off a mortgage on one wage and also being alot older. We live in a 1brm+nursery which we rent off my folks for $60 a week(Its in a fab area). Sure it is small but for that rent we want to make the most of it for as long as we can. We will probably live here for a bit when we have baby no.2, will be cramped but so worth it to get ahead. We have started kiwisaver and are saving for a deposit so in 3yrs we can start looking for a house to buy (hopefully prices have plummeted as predicted by then and I will be working PT). We have friends that have huge mortgages and have put off having kids because they simply cant afford it.
After having Bella I think it is sad that work/mortgages stop people having kids when they want- they really are missing out on something so wonderful! ------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 12:04pm
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Yeah pretty sure it was 100% which is what we would have to have...no deposit, too much debt...*sigh*
We're ok with it though...helps having great landlords!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 12:23pm
| We have just bought a house, and hope to have the children next year. We bought for $205k (we're in New Plymouth so slightly cheaper than Akld!!), 100% finance and our mortgage payments are $425 per week. It does mean that I will be back at work once the PPL is finished, but at the same time, DP's mum has put her hand up for daycare duties - she absolutely can't wait for grandkids. If the plans materialise and I get the promotion that I'm being trained for, it will mean I will work full time and DP will stay at home, or help his parents out with their business (which means he will still have the kids and it is possible to do that). Either way, we wanted our own home first. It's nothing flash, a 2 bdrm plus conservatory (aka nursery) on a 450m2 section, but it's big enough to raise 2 children, and doesn't need much (if any) work. Prior to buying, we were paying $300 rent for a 3 bdrm house right in town, but we were getting nothing to show for it, and it was NOT suitable for kids. We don't really struggle, sure we don't have a lot of play money but we don't miss it. |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 12:32pm
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We have always had great landlords too, and cheap rent. When we got pregnant and first had Michaela we were paying $200 pw in a nice suburb only 10 mins drive from central wgtn. We moved in almost 6 years ago, before we got married and although it was small townhouse and more suitable to a couple than to a young family we stayed there until last nov. We're now in a 3 bedroom family home with a fully fenced section for $300 pw (and it's only 20 mins drive from central wgtn in a lovely family friendly suburb).
One factor in my decision to have more children now rather than own a house is based on the fact that I can buy a house at any age but there comes a time when I will no longer be able to conceive children. I'll quote Emma again by saying "you don't regret the children you have, only the ones you don't have". I actually don't think it's all that important to own my own home. It scares me to think people are paying so much towards their mortgages and the bank pockets most of it - sure I'm paying all my rent to someone elses mortgage but I am paying a small fraction each week compared to what I'd be paying on a mortgage for a similar home. Another consideration is the freedom that we have to take off. If we decide we want to move somewhere else in NZ or overseas all we have to do is give notice (or wait till the end of our tenancy) and leave. Finally where we can afford to buy or build is so far from the city we either need to find new jobs closer to the location or we will have to spend hours travelling to and from work - time we would rather spend with our lovely daughter. -------------
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Posted By: Henna79
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 12:34pm
| We bought a house in Nelson before the big boom and so when we were looking at starting a family and wanting to look at family homes we decided to move so we could afford a bigger house. We were really lucky though in that we walked away with a lot of money and so compared to lots of others have a small mortgage and will prob never have any issues with have to be mega budgeters. |
Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 12:34pm
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Fortunately we haven't had to make that choice. DH was already a (part) homeowner when I met him, but we have since moved on to owning our current home together and plan to have more children. I am not 100% sure what our mortgage payments are a fortnight, but we have also forecasted that once I am in fulltime employment (by the end of this year) we will be totally debt free in just under seven years. Can't argue with that! ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: Bumble
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 12:35pm
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We were really fortunate in the scheme of things.
Bought back in early 2003 a cheap house (2 bdrm, subdivided section) that had huge potential. Spent over $50k on it over the next couple of years...and had Ethan during that time... Sold it for pratically double what we paid for it... Which catapulted us into our current home (4 bdrm, HUGE section) We have since spent $50k on necessary fix ups (New roof and insulation as the old roof leaked etc) We dont have a flash lifestyle at all just have been fortunate with DH work bonuses that has allowed us to do things to the house and good money management. I would hate to be trying to crack into the house market at the moment tho.. :( BUT.. Doing both at the same time can be done. We bought Jan 2003 and Ethan popped out March 2003. Admittedly this is 2003 I am talking about and house prices have risen... Also DH's wage was a LOT smaller back then ------------- formerly known as "Bee" Ethan ~ March 2003 Big 6 year old school boy! Micah ~ Aug 2008 ~ Smiley pants who loves telephones! |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 1:03pm
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Yep, there's so many factors. On our current incomes, there's no way one of us would be able to stay at home with the kids, or even just work part-time. My income goes towards the mortgage and the groceries, and we live off DP's wages. We are also making extra payments to reduce the term of the mortgage by at least 9 years and possibly more if interest rates go down.
MrsMojo - I agree in part to your comment re. the bank pocketing most the mortgage payments. Although rent payments are smaller, what do you get out of it at the end of the day? Sure, only $30 of our weekly mortgage payment actually pays off the principal (at the moment) BUT that figure is going to keep rising and less and less of it will go into the "Bank's" pocket. And at the end of the day, we have our very own home to show for it, it's not "dead money" I guess. I look at it, that if we had kept renting we would still be paying $300 a week, which is $15,600 a year, to someone else and at the end of the day, we couldn't renovate, or redecorate, and we would be at the mercy of the landlords....no "security" as such. But that's just how I think of it. |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 1:19pm
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For us, having the hosue was important, so we got that first, then saved so that I could stay home when we had a bubba. Due to getting pregnant first go we didn't have as much saved as we expected, but i should get a full year at home before having to go part time.
Our mortgage repayments are over 60% of Dh's money, but you just make it work. -------------  
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 2:01pm
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We had Andrew first and then after finding out that a woman we know was on the DPB and was going to get a house of her own we looked into it and DH's parents offered to help us with the deposit. We were very lucky to get our place when we did. We got it cheap ($174K), and the mortgage payments are about $550 a fortnight. We had hassles when we got the house thou it was rented and the tennents refused to move out and the rental agency had to get bailifs in and everything, it was a mess, I was a mess and poor DH was changing the locks on the doors at 9pm at night when we finally got the house But to answer the question I think a house is important, it is security and when you have children it is damn hard to save for a deposit. I know a couple that is a few years older than me who have 2 children as well and they are struggling to get a deposit together to buy a house (doesn't help that they burn 20% of their wages on smokes a week). ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 2:41pm
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Family - Seb wasn't planned, but I would still choose family first... Mike would've probably picked the house though! We couldn't afford a house whether we had a kid now or not, so not that different. -------------  
 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 3:28pm
My DH would like a house too (it's the kiwi dream) but after reading that article in the weekend he's decided that goal is too way out for us and it was his idea to start TTC again this September (and he told all my aunties so he must be serious this time). He is now warming a bit more to the idea of building a home on my mum and dads section in Featherston which would give us the best of both worlds, kids & a home, but would mean we'd have to find work out that way. -------------
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AliaDawn wrote:Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 3:42pm
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before we were even married my husband and I both agreed we wanted to buy a house before starting a family.
our reasons were that if we had a baby first there would be a good chance that we would not have been able to buy a house as we would be paying more rent. we had always lives in small cramped 2 bedroom places which I would not want to bring up a baby/small child in and most likely paying at least $100 more a week in rent for a 3 bedroom place. I am glad we managed to buy last year as I doubt we could afford to buy now ..even with both of us working. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 4:25pm
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sally belly was so right - But to answer the question - I'd choose family over a house. I believe that life is too short to wait until the "right" time to have kids because it will never arrive.
I had bought a house way back in 2002 when my wage was under $40K...a lifetime ago it seems....and I made it work....then 3 years ago i bought an investment property also on a wage where i cant believe i made it work....both with my mum - so basically on two wages like most couples....now my wage has increased big time and mortgage seems small in comparison really....good timing on our part...and very rentable properties luckily that have risen in price in value too Had i wanted or needed IVF etc to have ella or another bubba then i would have borrowed against my equity no worries....no question about it.... a home and a family is where we are at. |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 4:38pm
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We got the house last year and got pregnant 6 months later. I don't regret it but it does put a pressure on that I'd rather live without! From our perspective at the time of buying, if we didn't buy then (knowing we were going to start TTC soonish), then we would probably be out of the housing market for about 10 years and that scared us - having a house is important for my piece of mind for some reason I can't really explain. That said, every now and then DH talks about selling the house if we had to and renting (ie if I really wanted/needed to stay at home with the baby) which always makes me panic and think "I really don't want to do that". But if the cost is too high for our family, then we'll sell and rent. We want the best of both worlds - touch wood! ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: WigglesFan
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 5:33pm
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We bought our house first (on our first wedding anniversary) and concieved six months later. It worked well for us but that was way back when you could get a 3brm house on a full section in Auckland for $155k.
If we were starting again I would definitely say family over house. In fact we are currently renting again as with three very busy boys it made sense for us to move closer to dh's work but we can't afford the houses in the area. |
Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 5:40pm
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I did not realise how expensive it was to buy a house. I have been houding DH but he keeps saying no and now I know why. We rent and are currently moving to a beautiful big three bedroom two storied brand new home in a couple of weeks but its $350 I thought that would be a mortgage repayment but not even close!!! ------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow">  Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 6:04pm
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We brought our home in 2004 for $280,000 back in the day when you could get a home with three bedrooms and a two rooms sleepout for the much..
Its a really tough call, because I am dieing to have a baby but DH's main concern is the mortgage, whcih take up 36% of our income, but if I have a baby, it means my salary is kinda out the window for a little. It would be hard but we could still do it. If i had to choose between owning and our home and having children, i would give up the home in a heart beat! but ig we can have a family and keep our house then Id rather do that, as the security is a pretty good reason to keep the house! <we pay $525 for our mortgage a week in auckland..> Edited to include last three zeros in housecost :P $280?? I WISH!! lol ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6"> 
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: Gazelle
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 6:17pm
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In the big scheme of things family over a house would always win. I know which I would regret not having when I am old and grey.
In saying that if you can make it work then I say house first and then kids. We have been lucky enough to do it that way and I like the fact we will have a "nest" of our own for our wee ones. ------------- TTC our first baby- Cycle 5 |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 6:35pm
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Ours just worked out that we had the house before kids..
But our mortgage isn't far off rent I don't think. We only have a 160k mortgage (300k home in palmy) as DH got into the housing market when he was single and made a huge profit on that house to get our current home. Our mortgage is only 560 a fortnight which isn't too bad but bad enough. |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 6:42pm
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We brought the house, no kids yet.
Our mortgage is manageable $950 a fortnight, on a loan of $190k and we will have it paid off in less than 15 years. Having the house does mean that I will be returning to work after 12 months, and we will be a 1 child family. DH and I have had to make a choice about the size of our family and our lifestyle. We could live in permanent debt and have more children, or we can have just one and be able to afford most things. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: JadeC
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 7:11pm
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We're getting so much crap for our decision not to buy a house yet, I really wish people would understand that if we could, we would!!!
At the moment the plan is kids first, maybe a house later. While we would love the security of our own place, we would need my ENTIRE salary to pay the mortgage on even a very small place, which means having any maternity leave would be extremely difficult. As we are, I should be able to take a couple of months off once we eventually have a baby. I really hope that we will be able to save a deposit while bringing up kids, but I'd rather have a chance at SAH for a short time now. ------------- http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 7:31pm
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We were lucky and bought just before the housing market went nuts about 5 years ago. We had plans to get married and start a family, but this was an offer too good to miss out on, the perfect family home, at the right price.
Back then we paid less than what you can buy a 1 bedroom unit for these days! It's value has doubled easily in that time (due to the market and our improvements), shame that doesn't make the repayments any easier - not that we are paying anything like $950 a fornight
For us our priority was and still is security for our family (to-be), then kids. That's why we are holding off TTC #2 - why bring another person into a situation that would mean stress and hardship for all of us. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 7:43pm
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We didn't choose, Maya chose us. So we rent. But I'm still pretty impressed with how far we've come since having her. When I had her we were living in a crappy 2 brm Housing NZ place in a crappy area. We're now renting privately from great landlords in a fairly decent area in a huge 4 brm place with access to decent schools etc. so we have progressed.
I guess I'm a bit complacent about buying too coz we have a family trust set up to help us buy when we're ready so I don't see the great rush. But I do appreciate how lucky we are to be in that situation. We pay $400 a week in rent, mortgage payments for a house the size we'd need, even in a not so good area, would be nearly twice that. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 7:53pm
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I'll put my hand up as another who had the choice made for me, with Kiya on the way before I'd even finished deciding whether to continue working for another year or head back to uni.
DH got an instant family when we got married, so I guess that shows his choice. 
There is no way we could currently buy a house. We have agreed that, for the moment, we'll rent and have our family (of course, a little more say in the timing would be nice but at least the number is headed the way we want ). DH regularly investigates the possiblility of a mortgage, but things would have to change drastically for us to want to get one - either a marked increase in income or a big drop in the housing market. The idea of being in our own place is nice, but we're content with our family. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 7:57pm
We bought our first house 7 years ago when kids were something that was gonna happen in the distant future. We then came out here 4 years ago and pretty much spent all the money we had made on the property in England having a good time We did still have enough for deposit though and after renting for nearly 18 months I was dying to get into our own house again. I also wouldn't have thought about starting a family in rental accomodation because they never felt like home, just somewhere to live till we got a home.
We are also lucky that we bought a property that has a 2 bed self contained unit attached, so our mortgage is $530 per week but we get $170 in rent (which includes all her electric etc) so that really helps us out. When I was working we didn't rely on that money but now we do so if our tenant decided to move out then I would have to go back to work (properly not just tossing around like I am at the moment). I really hated handing over my rent knowing that it was just paying someone elses mortgage. I hate paying my mortgage as well, but in the long run it is worth it. Having said all that, if our incomes were at the level that we couldn't afford a house and a family but we could afford to rent a nice place and have a family or to have a house and no family, then without a doubt we would have chosen to have the family and the nice rental. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 9:19pm
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We have got the house first before we start TTC. We are quite lucky in that we got together pretty young (18) and so we've got heaps of time to do things one after the other rather than having to choose.
We bought our first house when we were engaged (at 23) and traded up to what will become our family home last year (at 25). Our mortgage payments are $860 per fortnight on a $240k mortgage. We are in Palmy so $400k was enough for a great place (well, we think its great anyway!). It has been really good for us because we've used the last few years to really make some headway in our careers. By the end of the year I should be in a position where I can take time off with babies and walk back in to a good job when I'm ready. House and job is something that can be done simultaneously, whereas babies would have put a stop to either of the others, at least for me. Our current plan is to start TTC next year some time, I'll be 27 by then. So for us its been house then family. I'm glad we're going to do it like this, but if I hadn't met DH till I was older, I would have chosen kids over a house in a heartbeat. There is no way I could choose not to have kids. |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 9:50pm
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I was just finishing sixth form when Lesieli decided it was a great time to come and play lol so by seventh form I had a new baby girl and was studying my way through 7th form. I dream of one day buying a house but for now I am renting as that is all I can afford being a single mum on one income. I have a great job and get paid well for the hours I do but just cant afford to save for a deposit yet. I dont have much debt and am currently doing kiwisaver so once I have a small deposit I will start looking for a first home for me and the kids ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |