Religious Differences
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1605
Printed Date: 17 August 2025 at 11:16am
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Topic: Religious Differences
Posted By: steph83
Subject: Religious Differences
Date Posted: 23 February 2006 at 12:36am
| Hi there all, first time here, my partner and I are considering children soon. He comes from a strong Christain upbringing and I am the opposite, I have been raised to believe nothing, an atheist one might say. If we do have kids I am worried how this could affect decisions and the general upbringing that it would have on them. Would we as parents be able to agree on religious issues for our children. Has anyone been in a similar situation where this has happened. It worries me that this could affect our future. Thanks, Steph |
Replies:
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 23 February 2006 at 6:44am
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I think your best bet is to discuss this with your partner now and clear the air. If it's out in the open any problems can be discussed and nutted out. Just because you are both from different sides of the fence does not mean you won't make great parents and be able to make a go of it. Troy and I are very different when it comes to our ideas on raising children however we have managed to muddle throught for the most part and we have now found a happy meduim. You've got to give and take. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 23 February 2006 at 9:56am
| well, with both of you having different views, you can just tell your kids what you personally believe in, and let them make up their own minds - which i think is actually better than saying "this is the truth- everyone else is wrong". |
Posted By: lenabeanz
Date Posted: 23 February 2006 at 11:18am
Im the same as you, I was brought up to believe "nothing" (my mum was a catholic and dad was a MAJOR atheist) so they let me sit on the fence 
My partner was brought up catholic but has sinced dropped the traditional going to church, catholic school (for our daughter) etc... and going to bring her up they way I was... What type of upbringing did your partner have? Church, Youth groups etc? - you can make some sort of "agreement" that you won't force anything on your child until they are about 6 or so, I know that Public schools have RE (religious education) around christmas time every year so if they come home and ask about Jesus etc and get real involved in it it will be up to them what religion they follow. Hope this helps a little bit and good luck!! ------------- http://www.snugglepie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 23 February 2006 at 8:27pm
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I'm Catholic (although not such a good Catholic) and Willie is Ratana. I guess I'm kind of lucky in a way that Willie wasn't/isn't bothered too much about religion, so he is happy for her to be baptised Catholic, and she will go to a Catholic school when she is 5.
I agree with Vick tho, communication is the big key, and before you get pregnant is the best time because you will be able to discuss it with an open mind. As soon as you find out you are preg, you automatically start making plans etc. for how your child will be raised, so getting it sorted before hand avoids some of the probs. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: steph83
Date Posted: 26 February 2006 at 7:41pm
| Thanks guys for your replies, really interesting! We have talked about it, he is quite strong about things like baptism etc, where I am happy for my children to be religious,but not as religious as my partners family, where it is practised as a lifestyle.He comes from a large Pacific Island family where I am NZ European, so culturally we are differnt aswell. We have discussed this alot, and have decided that coming from two upbringings, we would both have to sacrifice things to make it work and maybe have semi-religious? kids if there is such as thing? |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 26 February 2006 at 7:44pm
Sounds like you guys have come to a great compromise! Let's just hope it continues to be that easy when you are raising your kids 
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Posted By: EthansMummy
Date Posted: 01 March 2006 at 12:57pm
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My parents were the same, my mum was baptist and my dad catholic so what happened with them was they got married in a bapist church and us children were christened Catholic.
I will have the problem as i think my family will want my baby to be baptisted by my partner will not set foot in a church. It is just something you will have to talk lots about maybe before trying and so its out in the open then. ------------- ** MUM TO ** Ethan 29/08/2006 Brooke 22/09/2008 |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 01 March 2006 at 2:01pm
I was raised Catholic by a Catholic (ish) Dad and an Anglican (ish) Mum, and while we were regular churchgoers when I was young, plus the whole baptism / confirmation / first communion thing... I "backslid" after spending a few years going to a non denominational youth group - basically all the heavy duty preaching wasn't for me ! I still respect those who have made that choice though, and I'm not saying all Christians are preachy either  I just have a slightly different take on things, as does Roland (although he is slightly more agnostic than me, not sure that's the right word though) - and we're happy to let our child choose for themselves eventually, and try to provide open minded guidance in the meantime.
Hope that all made sense ! ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 01 March 2006 at 4:07pm
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Well...I was in the same boat as you (well sort of)..I am a Muslim and my hubby is a Hindu. Now we talked about it and we agreed that our children will be more Hindu than a Muslim and yet I will teach them about my religion. When they grow up they can make their own mind up.
When Zaara was born we performed both Hindu and Muslim rituals for her. So the point to all this blah blah is make a decision before you have kids so that there is no confusions/problems after birth. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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