Considering giving up / vent
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=16457
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Topic: Considering giving up / vent
Posted By: KiwiWonder
Subject: Considering giving up / vent
Date Posted: 18 April 2008 at 2:42pm
So this is a bit of a long story... but will try to make it as short as possible 
DD #1 breastfed like a dream - latched well, I never got sore nipples, or thrush, or mastitis, or, well, anything. She breastfed until 14 months, when she self-weaned after I got pregnant. DD #2 has never latched at all. We've consulted with a lactaction consultant, the birthcare midwives, my own midwife, and spent a day at the Plunket Family Center. No one has any solid ideas on why she won't latch; there's no physical problem with either of us, she just doesn't. We have had minimal success with using a nipple shield - she doesn't really suckle "properly" on it, and she won't persist for a full feed, but she will take 'some' milk from it. We'd been using the nipple shield exclusively until she was 2 weeks old, when she hadn't gained any weight and we worked out that she wasn't taking even half a feed through the shield, just giving up because it was too much hard work 
Since then, we've been trying her on the breast w/ the shield (which she still fights but will eventually take), then topping her up with EBM, then pumping after the feed both to get EBM for the next feed, and to stimulate supply. At this point my supply is enough to keep up with her demands (it wasn't at first), but that hasn't improved things on the breast / shield at all. Thus, at the moment the whole process - including the washing and sterilising - is taking upwards of 90 minutes, and of course we're on a 3-hour cycle, so it's taking up literally upwards of half my time per 24 hour cycle. The thing is... despite all this, I'm still extremely loathe to formula feed but I can certainly see the advantages of doing so. But even given all of the problems we've had, and all the help we've sought, I still feel like I'd be somehow hurting K to give up at least expressing EBM and feeding her that, and to switch to formula. It's true I know perfectly happy and healthy formula-fed babies... but I also know formula fed babies with allergy problems, or fairly extreme reflux, or health / immune problems. I keep thinking that if I can make it to 6 months... or 12 weeks... or even 6 weeks... that it won't be so bad... but at the moment that seems so far away, especially with DH going back to work next week (and on the weekend as well ) and me with a toddler to manage... I have No Idea how I'll be able to cope. On the same note... I haven't a clue how to forumla feed if I did go down that track Or how to know which is best. Or at this point, how the heck I'd afford the cost of the formula when we're barely keeping food on the table as it is.
*sigh* ------------- Margo |
Replies:
Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 18 April 2008 at 3:03pm
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Really sorry you are going through this, who said breast feeding was natural and you never forget how to do it eh? I think setting goals is important, I went week by week initially, some weeks the end seemed a long way away too.
I had similar difficulties with Fay latching, using nipple sheilds as the only way to latch her, and in the end i expressed and fed her mainly EBM through a bottle for 6 months, just made up the amount I was short during the night feeds with formula. I know what you are saying about the timing, by the time i finished trying to BF, bottle feed EBM, express ready for the next feed, sterislise it was time for the next feed, somewhere in that I was supposed to get some rest. Two weeks is still a short time and Kate may not have learnt how to feed yet, Fay was definitely a slow learner in that respect, have you seen a speech therapist to check out her feeding technique, we found it really useful, Plunket can do a referral, we discovered that Fay curled her tongue and pointed it up rather than cupping around my nipple, and we tried some techniques to "teach" her to do that - involved lots of face pulling at her to make her mouth and tongue into the right shape. Try not to think beyond the end of this week rather than putting pressure on your self to afford formula, you don't need that stress at the moment, I know at least one other Mum on here who exclusively bottle fed her baby EBM for 6 months as well, it does get quicker, you may need to look at getting a double pump for a start, may be able to rent it Good luck with it all, it cetainly isn't easy ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 18 April 2008 at 3:27pm
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A lady on another forum I was on EBM exclusive for 3 months and only stopped when she had to go on meds that couldn't be given to baby for an unrelated condition.
Has bubba been checked for a tounge tie? hugs, it is hard work when things don't go right. -------------  
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 18 April 2008 at 3:50pm
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I'm a bit lazy and haven't read what the others have said. You can get (from some areas) a really really good pump and just give her EBM.
Or just have lots of skin to skin time when she's up. That helped with Daniel. |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 18 April 2008 at 5:26pm
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My first thought was tongue tie too. I think you should get her checked for that, and go from there. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: KiwiWonder
Date Posted: 18 April 2008 at 6:32pm
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she's been checked for tounge tie (and other physical issues like a high palette) by my midwife, plunket nurse, and a lactation consultant - she doesn't have it. She can stick out her tounge - and she's done it for us - she just doesn't want to do it when we're trying to get her to latch, she keeps it back, as well as curling her bottom lip inwards... neither of which work for latching. ------------- Margo |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 18 April 2008 at 8:10pm
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this may have no relevance but i will tell you about eden's unwillingness to bf at the hospital.
after 2 kids who fed very successfully my little monkey refused to feed from me at all. she had my colostrom from a spoon, a syringe and a cup before she would take it from me... and we couldnt figure out why either. In the end we had to teach her to suck by finger feeding her - we used my little finger and a tube and syringed the stuff into her while she sucked my finger. i think we gave her about 3 or 4 feeds that way before she would finally take it from me. when they brought the pump into my room i cried...i was devastated... oh and gabriel did have a tongue tie and he was fine with feeding, just slow... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: michelle87
Date Posted: 18 April 2008 at 8:44pm
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I had heaps of trouble breastfeeding, I eventually gave up and went to formula, He's 5 months now and have been taking him to osteo and he put his finger in bubs mouth and straight away said that it would have been impossible to successfully breastfeed him. If only i'd known about the osteo before I'd given up !
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Posted By: BabyKiwi
Date Posted: 19 April 2008 at 11:57am
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Huge huggs to you! It's hard when you want to do something and you can't. Don't beat yourself up (easier said than done) you will work out what is best for you all! Just give yourself some time, your daughter is still young and maybe just going slow.
It's easy for us to suggest doing certain things but at the end of the day you are her mum and you will know in your heart what is best, just trust those instincts again. You certainly know what to do, even though I don't know your older daughter I would imagine that she is a lovely little girl, and who done that, you did!!! Best of luck! |