Sharing the load - how do YOU do it?
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Topic: Sharing the load - how do YOU do it?
Posted By: Maya
Subject: Sharing the load - how do YOU do it?
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 11:53am
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You might have noticed my wee forum polls on the right (please vote!), I'm writing an article for the July issue of OHbaby! Magazine on sharing the load in relationships. I'm going to be interviewing a relationship/marriage counsellor to get his tips for sharing the load, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you do things in your household.
In our household, I do probably 90% of the childcare/housework outside of what the nanny/cleaner do, and Willie does about 10%. His "jobs" are to dress the girls after their bath at night, put the rubbish out on a Sunday night, and look after the girls on a Sunday morning so I can sleep in. Most of the time I'm OK with the way we do things but occasionally I do wish he'd help out a bit more. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Replies:
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 12:03pm
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I'm not good at sharing the load. DH would be totally happy with a 50/50 split but I have a kinda old fashioned wife/mother mentality (for myself only...not for others).
Will think on it though and post later :) ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 12:05pm
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Most of the time I am happy with how things work here. When Ollie was little Rob always did the bath while I got dinner started. He would finish dinner while I was feeding and getting him off to bed.
Now that he is older and I am working Rob gets him up and dressed in the morning and organises his breakfast. He stays a bit longer at work in the evening (since he has started a bit later) and I do the bath and stories. Rob sees Ollie when he gets home and puts him in to bed. I normally have the dinner started and we both just finish it off together. We both share housework in the weekend. It generally works well. |
Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 12:06pm
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Yeah, I kinda wish my DP did a bit more round the house, although he does do all the laundry, which is awesome. But I do everything else, including all the childcare, apart from bathtime. He thinks that cos I work part time then I should do it all, which, yeah ok, kinda makes sense, but sometimes it would be nice to have a rest.....
I get Joshua up in the morning, get him dressed, breakfast, etc. I take him upstairs with me when I shower, have about 5mins to get ready, then out the door. I drop him at daycare, go to work, work 6 hours then collect Joshua. Then we usually go to the playground for a while, then run errands. Then home, cook his dinner, give him his dinner, tidy house, start on our dinner, play with Joshua, then DP gives him his bath while I cook our dinner, then I read Joshua his night time story, take him to bed, finish cooking our dinner, eat, clean up, arrange lunches for next day, then bed. Thats my day during the week. Except on Thursdays when DP is at Uni, so I do the bath as well. On weekends DP sleeps in, so I do the same morning routine, then when Joshua is sleeping at midday I get all the cleaning done. And when we have my stepkids its even more work. Oh, and when we go out I get the bags and stuff sorted with hats, sunscreen, snacks, drinks etc..... Yep, I do waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than DP! |
Posted By: hooper
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 12:10pm
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i do most of the housework, DF does all the outside stuff. He will cook when i can't be stuffed. Seeing as hes works all week and most Saturdays it does'nt bother me that i do all the housework. ------------- Desiree 
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 12:15pm
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We're very 50/50 in our home and it tends to swing in either directions sometimes eg. at the moment, it's about 70/30 in DH's direction while I'm doing IVF and dealing with that stuff.
He does most of the cooking and often cleans up after himself as well, is usually the one who empties the dishwasher, we share the vacuuming although he probably does it more often than me, I do the 'girl' cleaning - cleaning out the pantry and fridge, dusting, that sort of thing. I do the bathroom and toilet cleaning, washing the floors, washing and folding the washing (although he does this too every now and again), we walk the dogs together, though for whatever reason someone's only one of us does if he's working or I'm sick sort of thing, and we also make up the grocery list and do the groceries together. He's banned from doing my ironing, but sometimes I do his  and he's chief in charge of making me a hot chocolate before bed! 
It's very much a team effort in our house - there are swings and roundabouts where sometimes one is carrying a bigger load than the other, but we're big on working together. ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: Shorty
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 12:17pm
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Um is it bad if I say I do 100% ok more like 99% on the odd occasion my DH will cook (which he did last night for the 1st time in a long time) I do all the washing and cleaning. I organise DS for the week as I am home in the morning, 9/10 times I do the night too. I also do weekends.
I would love someone to share the load with me! |
Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 12:33pm
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I do 100% of internal household chores (cooking, cleaning, putting rubbish out, childcare). If we require external house maintenance (cleaning gutters, building work, etc) DH does that. We run our own business, I manage the office and DH is out and about. He generally works a minimum of 5.30am - 7.30pm five days a week and 7am - 5pm Saturday and sometimes Sunday.
I feel that the balance is fair. ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 12:45pm
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Lets see.
I do the cooking, washing, cleaning, make his lunches (although that just consists of putting leftovers from dinner into a container..lol), spend the day entertaining Rhiannon and keeping her happy and safe Kent looks after rhiannon, does the dishes, (helps by vaccuming and washing the floors...folds the washing and puts it away.) when asked He also does all the outside work, tending the garden, mowing the lawns, hes painted the fence and roof. and he will take Rhi to the park to give me 30mins to myself...so i think we are pretty evenly split. On the weekends its suppose to be that he sleeps in on a saturday and i sleep in on a sunday (but that doesnt happen due to rhiannon wanting us both up), but he makes her b/fast on the weekend and me...plays with her, gives me a break and spends time with us ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 1:19pm
Usually we are around 50/50 but I do feel that at the moment B is doing more around the house especially while I'm adjusting to graveyard and study and gym training...(i was one of the 6% that said I feel like I should be doing more) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 1:26pm
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I usually do the inside housework , while DH does the outside (gardening,mowing, putting out the rubbish etc). He cooks dinner once a week (on one of the days that I work) and I cook dinner the rest of the time- he would probably cook more if I asked him to, but when he comes home I prefer for him to spend time with Ella while I prepare dinner. I am usually the one the gets Ella dressed in the morning and feeds her through the day/changes her nappy etc but every Sat morning is DH & Ella time so he gets her up,dressed, feeds her b/fast and they go do an activity together (giving me time to lie in or just laze around). He also gives her a bath every evening. It helps that at the moment she has turned into a real daddys girl, so just follows him around when he gets home. In the weekend we both spend equal time playing with Ella. ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 1:39pm
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I am to say that DH does way more at home then I do.
He vacumes, he cut the grass, he dusts, he cleans the toilets, cooks dinner (Weekdays only). Takes out the rubbish etc I look after Zaara, feed her, bath her, read to her, put her to bed, do the laundry, iron, cook in the weekend etc We take turns doing putting and bringing the washing, washing dishes etc. Yap DH des way more that me and then he also spends time with Zaara after dinner. The reason is I start a bit late in the morning and therefore getting Zaara up, brushing her teeth, hair, changing her, feeding her breakfast, and taking her to day care. While DH Finishes quite early (3 - 3.30pm)..so he pickes her up and while she is catching up with her Disney channel he cleans/cooks etc. I guess he wishes I did more but at the moemnt we are going with the flow! But when I will be home with new BUB for 6 months, I will be doing most of the cleaning and cooking! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 1:44pm
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Roksana I am with you DH does FAR MORE than me. He cooks, cleans the kitchen, takes out the rubbish, mows the lawns, does some of the washing, and looks after Tom when I will be working.
I do most of the Tom-rearing but thats only because I am at home and now have more "experience" than DH. I do most of the washing and most of the household cleaning. I get the groceries only so it doesnt impact on our weekend. I get up most of the time for Tom in the night as DH says Tom looks at as if to say "you're the hairy useless one...I want the other one!" But recently while we are going through a "phase" we have been tag teaming the night wakes. (read....I kick him) |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 1:44pm
| Oh and when I was pregnant DH did so much more...he made my lunch every morning (to make sure I was eating well) |
Posted By: floss
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 1:46pm
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In our house I tend to do more of the cleaning and stuff just cos I am at home more then he is but he is in charge of cooking in the weekend and we both bath and feed the kids and do all the night stuff together. ------------- My beautiful big girl Sienna 15.04.06 Double the trouble double the fun Noah & Lola 10/11/07 |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 1:52pm
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I do most but its only fair since I'm a SAHM and he works. I do everything inside but about once a week Ben will cook dinner and do the vacuuming. We have turns getting the kids up and dressed, we don't really have any schedule but it works for us.
Ben does the outside jobs tho and puts the rubbish out. I'm not touching that 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 2:02pm
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We share the housework and childcare 50/50.
It's quite easy for us to be 50/50 as, other than in the weekends, we're not at home together so whoever is at home does the childcare and whatever housework needs to be done. There are days I get home and the house is spick & span then there are days when DH hasn't had a chance to do anything so I have more to do in the evening - that's fine, it all evens out over time (plus now that we've both been stay at home parents we both understand that sometimes you can do everything and sometimes you feel like you've worked twice as hard and still got nowhere). The individual chores we have cancel each other out e.g. I always do the weekly clean of the bathroom, toilet, laundry & kitchen but DH vacuums our house a few times a week. These were chores we just adopted rather than discussed and we had an established routine before we started thinking about children. I do all the cooking during the weekends but that's because I really enjoy cooking. During the week DH sorts Michaela's breakfast and lunch because I'm at work during those times, and I do her dinner when he's at work. I also do the majority of the childcare in the weekend but again that's my choice because I covet my time with Michaela. -------------  
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 2:49pm
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Its all ME ME ME ME, that is because he isn't here. But when he was here I would say he did more than me. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 3:26pm
Mike is "supposed to" take out the rubbish, and do the dishes. These.... are usually left till I have to yell at him about them (the dishes he will happily be told day after day and still leave it for a week =/) He will help tidy things on the odd occasion, or if I throw a huge tanty and yell at him about it (which I hate) I really wish he'd do more, he's technically studying "full time" but is on and off every 2nd hour it seems, and weltec is only a 5 min walk from here, so really only part time. I reaaaally want to get rid of the computers in the lounge... he is always just blobbing in front of them (how on earth is he so freaking skinny?) but we have soooo little space in our little flat  -------------  
 
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 3:54pm
I can't really work out how it is in our house. Probably along the lines of me 70/30. Dh and the kids get up before me weekday mornings, but Dh doesn't do anything for the kids, but maybe get Gia a milo. Once I'm up (around 7:30) I make the kids breakfast and dress them etc. Dh then is off to work around 8am. I mostly do the dishes and washing, tidying. We have a housecleaner once a week who does the bathrooms/toilet, vacumning, dusting, change the bedsheets on a Wednesday. If Dh is home from work around 5pm (somedays it's earlier, other days later), one of us will cook, while the other baths the kids. Then both of us share putting the kids to bed. I feel dh needs to help out more, just with general tidy and cleaning up after himself. His dirty clothes just sit on the bedroom/bathroom floor even though I have a washing basket in the bedroom for that. I'd like him to empty the rubbish bin when it's full and pick up his empties! I think I have to pick up after him, more than I pick up after the kids! But then I can tell the kids to clean up their toys, whereas asking Dh to pick up his things is like talking to a brick wall.
Emma, I can't wait to hear what this guy says!! ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Maya wrote:Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 3:57pm
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Id say DH and I probably come out even in the end ... he does the bathroom and kitchen as he took those on when I got pregnant and he didnt want me near the chemicals (bonus). I usually do the laundry (as Isabelle needs clean nappies) and cook dinner when he gets home and looks after her. When DH becomes SAHD next week things may change ... but as I will get home at 4 I will still be on dinner duty (although he will cook if I cant be bothered). ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 4:08pm
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Ok So I do washing, cleaning, cooking and baby stuff because I am at home all day and DH works 7 days a week. He does get Neosha up in the morning and give her a bottle which gives me a little lie in but sometimes I wish he would put the washing in the basket instead of leaving it on the floor and wash a glass after he uses it, just simple things. I dont really expect alot though because he does work so hard. I do the gardening and the lawns are mowed professionaly so I guess all he has to do is work, give neosha a bottle in the morning and close the curtains at night lol ------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow">  Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 4:10pm
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Im forever on at DH to close curtains!!! Grrrr (ok rant over lol) ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 5:11pm
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The kids are basically my responsibility during the day/night. I do all the washing/hanging out/folding, putting away, cleaning of the house and clothes buying, soothing, doctor visits/immunisations, school visits, parent interviews, bill paying, curtain closing, heater turner oner, bathing of the little kids, brushing of Nyahs hair (very long).
DH cooks dinner, does the rubbish and the outside stuff. I used to do the outside stuff too, until I went on strike. If I'm lucky and I ask he'll vacuum. The thing with wooden floors we have to vacuum at least three times a week and I'm normally home to do it. One thing that we do together is the groceries, which I hate, I wish I could do them on my own, but he won't let me. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 6:20pm
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DH sits on the couch and scratches his man bits while I do all the work like Cinderella..only without the mouse helpers and fairy godmother..
Ok, so maybe that's a slight exaggeration, he only does that 99% of the time... |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 6:28pm
LMAO  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 7:37pm
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hmmm thats a tough one.
i think we are about equal. dh works about 18hr every day!!! but he still has no problem with, cleaning up or taking over with the kids, or even getting the groceries, sometimes i feel really bad if hes been working lots of overtime and then comes home to a messy house etc, i feel like i should be doing a bit more and that he shouldnt have to do it.  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 7:59pm
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I do the bulk of things around here. Daniel gets Hannah breakfast while I feed Greer, he will help with getting dinner dished up when he comes home, give Hannah a bath, dressed and into bed. And this is a new skill of his, bu the actually helps with the dishes in the evening. Oh and mowing the lawns.
I do everything else housework wise and child rearing. Night times if they wake up I generally deal with it, I only make him get up if I'm at the end of my tether, and if its after about 5am I get him to sort them out as he's been asleep all night. He's actually pretty good when he is around - really good with Hannah and will take her out to give me a break on weekends, but not so good with the baby yet. Its more that he doesnt seem to be around a lot to help out. I just wish he would tidy up after himself, and use his initiative a bit more - I dont like to ask/nag, and would like it if he asked if there was anything he could do to help rather than sit on the computer all night. ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 8:47pm
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our household load is split three ways cause we live extended family....but Mum would say she does 90%, i would say I actually do 60-70% housework / child duties if not a bit more....but then it comes down if you count DH doing outdoor lawns, cars etc...but he is hopeless at any form of housework!
Case in point - tonight DH moaned about having no clean undies.... WEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL if you dont put them out in a wash pile of some form they wont get washed will they - im not a mind reader and i am def not sniffing dirty undies in a random pile somewhere to check if clean or not! If I moan I get him to do more - THAT DAY.....def not even division between us around here!!! |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 9:01pm
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As far as chores go, I do everything DH showers/bathes the kids and that is about it. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 8:05pm
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Sharing the load. I actually feel bad.
It used to be me a bit more. When we first met he couldn't really cook, (his idea of a good meal was heating noodles, heating pasta sauce, and mixing it together, that or he ate burger king for every second meal). He was clean and tidy though. He knew how to wash dishes, and make the bed, and do the washing, probably the result of being an only child with a mum who taught him to do things for himself. Flatting together we shared the cooking, I did most of the other stuff like cleaning cos i was home in between nanny jobs. After having paris, Alot of it was me in terms of household stuff, he'd still take turns with cooking, i did the childcare as a sahm but when he was home he'd take care of bubba paris, and one weekend day he would get her up, do brekkie, dress her, and take her out to the park or play with her so i could sleep in - that was the start of it i spose, cos the next day i'd do the same for him so at least once a week we each got a sleep-in. Once i went back to study however, and he had to deal with her when i was on placements, things started to sink in a bit more, he did washing more often, we still had big problems over the dishes cos i hate them with a vengeance. but we did have a rule that whoever cooked did not have to do the dishes so if he wanted a night off the dishes then he cooked dinner.. sufice to say he started cooking a heck of a lot more often. lol After having ayja he stepped up even more. And now that i'm working and he's studying, our roles have kind of reversed. We take turns cooking, he has the traditional meals downpacked, where i do the stir-frys indian stuff, anything that's not "meat-and-3-veges". He puts the washing on if he's home, otherwise i do it -it's whoever does it first basically. he usually hangs it cos "he has a system and i just don't do it right!!" PMSL whoever does it does the folding, and mostly i put it away cos "he doesn't DO clothes". lol
Childcare, if we're both home, we take it in turns to do things, or to see to them if they're being needy. otherwise we try and do things as a family, playing, cooking, games, etc. he's not the sit in front of the tv and ignore the child crying type of guy, we just do, whatever needs to be done, we do, without asking, without nagging and without expecting the other one to do it. If i have the day off i tend to keep the kids home, and when he's at speedway etc, he can go out mostly whenever he wants without me nagging (but then he doesn't go out every single night of the week), if he has the day off, he usually won't keep them home but i come home to a clean and tidy house with the washing all done. if i want to go somewhere i tell him and he's fine. The other thing he doesn't like doing is the bathing of the kids, that's all me, unless i'm on afternoon/night shift. we usually work it so that he cooks dinner while i bath the kids, but he'll come help wrangle them out and dress them, we take 1 each. We're equal because we both know what it's like to be the only one working to keep the household going financially, we both know what it's like to be the one studying and feeling like we don't contirbute enough, and we both have had equal time and input into looking after the kids and doing stuff. He does the dishes pretty much all the time now, (cos we have dishwasher!) and i still do the CLEANING ie cleaning the bathroom etc. we have just found our things that are the things that we only do, and then the other stuff we just do without waiting or expectations. He knows more about daycare etc than i do now cos he's the one that drops them off each day and mostly icks them up, whereas it used to be me. we have a good understanding of what the other's thinking, we just compliment each other i guess. (lucky) ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 8:23pm
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You know, I haven't actually thought about who does how much...so I voted 50/50. I think we're kind of like Ginger in that when one of us needs it, the other picks up the slack. Sometimes the balance gets out, but we pull it back again.
If I really wrote it all down I'd probably do more day-to-day (I do all the meals and cleaning etc.) but DH works full time, so it balances out in my mind. He's still very much 50/50 when he is home in terms of DD's care and that's most important to me. ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 8:48pm
My bad! I forgot to put on Willie's list of "jobs" that he washes his own undies. In the shower. Too gross! I do all his other washing, in fact it never occurred to me for the first two years we were together that his undies never appeared in the wash until one day I found a pair he had left hanging up in the shower. Men! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 8:55pm
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We split chores but I feel like DH does more than his fair share to be honest.
In the week I start dinner, do washing, look after Rowan (of course) and book any appts etc that need to be done during the day (e.g. setting up bank accts). I also plan the meals for the week. I do basic tidying in the day if I have time. In addition to his job DH does the shopping, bathes Rowan and gives her a night bottle and often does the dishes as well. In the weekend we split chores but DH seems to end up with the more time consuming ones such as the vacuuming. He also helps out with Rowan in the weekend so it's almost evenly shared parenting then. -------------  
 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 9:17pm
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OMG Emma, it's a maori guy thing. Lewis' dad does it too. ick ick ick.
As for us, we have a werid"ships passing in the night" thing at the mo. I work mon-fri 7:30am (i leave) til baout 3:30 -4 depending on meetings. Lew works from 4pm until up to 3am depending on day. He works tues to sat and kids are in daycare 12pm-5pm tues - fri. So, housework....well, visitors would say no one does anything. I do about an hour each day once i get home - not counting making dinner, and child care. Lewis will play with kids and do all that, but apart from hanging out washing (but not bringing in or folding), he does little - unless I leave a list. he WILL do the groceries but as I cook 99% i prefer to. I was a bit more upset and tried to do mroe, but at night when the kids are asleep, I plan and mark (so more work). i get really resentful - like today. we arrived home after some time in Taupo. i had school camp Friday night til monday. lewis came up sunday, picked me up on monday and we came back this afternoon. I came ion the house and he hadn't done the dishes, so some are moldy. Hadn't hung out the washing, so there is some moldy washing in the basket. so so so unimpressed. so atth moment, not a good question. |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 9:20pm
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GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Emma!!!
Willie just plummeted in my view of him!!!! UGH! ICK.... THey seriously cannot get clean that way...cleaner maybe but soooo not clean....grooooossssssssss |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 9:25pm
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Since we are a WM/SAHD, we have a slightly different perspective....
I get up and start the kids on breakfast each morning. Usually a warm milo or lemon-honey and the first round of cereal/toast. That gives DH 15 minutes all to himself to start each day. Then I head off to the shower and get ready for work, etc, while he does dishes, washing, outings (including grocery shopping), changing kiddies, vacuuming, tidying, meal preps, changing beds, and all the other mini-crises that occur... We have a housekeeper to help catch up on beds/mopping/vacuuming/folding, but that's only for an hour/week at the moment. After I get home I (try to!) entertain the kids with reading or going outside or (on a good day) going off to the park, while DH organises dinner. I usually lead the charge with bedtimes but on bath nights we share 50/50 (one to man the bath and the other to towel/dress/cream/brush hair). On the weekends, I aim to help out more than I (can) do during the week, while DH often goes for a slightly more relaxed pace. So generally each weekend he'll still do the washing but I'll 50/50 with changes and get the kitchen up to date. I also do dinners on the weekend (or I'd go mad lol). I think I covered everything? Oh, and we pay to get our lawns done too. ------------- |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 9:31pm
DH & I had an arrangement similar to that with his socks when we were newly with Hannah. She was a c/s baby so his mum came around a few times to help out with the housework. She asked me if his socks on the front door step needed to go in the wash and I just said "Na, just leave them there. It's where he wants them. He knows when he wants them washed, to put them in the laundry". She is a traditional 'doormat' kinda wife and she just stared at me when I said that! LMAO! ------------- |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 24 April 2008 at 1:37pm
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I constantly complain that Hubby is the "untrainable male" but that is usually because I don't want him to know how much I get him to do.
I do 75-80% of the workload at home and with Olivia and Hubby does 100% of the income earning so I see that as a bit of fair play. It is hard though as his job finishes at 5pm where as mine is 24/7 with minimal breaks! ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 24 April 2008 at 1:57pm
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I do 99.5% of inside chores, child stuff etc etc, and he does all outside stuff (gardens lawn yard)
I hate it. We fight about it alot. He complains that the house is messy or whatever, but would rather pile his dishes in the sink than empty the dishwasher or even put them in if its empty. And he will tell me that I need to do a load, rather than put the powder in and set it going himself. Lies in bed till 7.30 watching the news, then gets up, gets self showered, fed, feed animals and goes at 8am. Dosen't even pull up the bed... I get up anytime from 6 on..... He will cook tea when we have steak and chips, because even though I am a chef by trade, I apparently don't cook it right (although I had to teach him how to cook medium rare as opposed to well done, lol) and does sunday roast (I HATE HATE roasts, so don't like to cook them, and anyhow, I don't do them right, either) Does the "fun stuff" with the kids, none of the grotty stuff unless I have a meeting, then I feel guitly leaving him with the grotty stuff. Tidies up when the mess really gets to him, then throws EVERYTHING out and gets all slammy and stuff. I am making him sound really bad, but in all honesty I beileve it is a generation thing. He is 44, and the baby of 5, so was babied all his life, including by his clean freak first wife. That "age group" of men seem to me to be the worst, somehow.... RANT over! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: LeahandJoel
Date Posted: 24 April 2008 at 2:39pm
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I do 90% of things to do with Leah, Jon bathes her and when he comes home from work will take over and entertain her so I can start dinner, fold washing etc. Although if I leave the washing sitting around for a while he will fold it and put it away, he has also been known to put the washing machine on and hang it out and bring it in again!! He also does the vacuuming, and all the outside stuff and empty the rubbish and sort out the recycling, and the big one is he cleans up after dinner every night, (and we have no dishwasher at this house!!!) I basically do everything else, although his list looks huge now so i'm not going to list all of mine!! We have our own business so while he does all the work for that I do all the accounts and bill paying. |