married at a registry office
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Topic: married at a registry office
Posted By: BellaBoo
Subject: married at a registry office
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 3:58pm
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This seems like the only option now as we really cant afford a wedding.
Who has done this? What is invloved? Is there a process to take and how long? Any other info would be greatly appreciated. So sad that I will have to sell my dress  but even a cheap wedding isnt cheap enough for us and we dont want to get a loan.------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 4:11pm
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My best friend just did this. Neither of them wanted a 'wedding' but wanted the marriage - it was a perfect plan for them. They arranged it all within the space of a week, told their family and closest friends where and when, and away they went! The room had around 30 guests in it and the Registrar taking the ceremony was so nervous about them he trembled (and explained that he'd never seen a room full of guests in the Registry Office before - but hey, why not?!). They have a standard speech that they take you through for the ceremony. Afterwards we all went for a drink, then back to their place for the best BBQ ever. Low-key, fabulous fun. Hey and I say big up's to you two for not getting a loan for the wedding - I'm sure it's been one tough decision. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 4:12pm
Oh no, I cant see why u cant have a back yard thing with just immediate family. Just pay for the license and get everyone to bring a plate. If its totally impossible my best friend in aucks got married in a registry office then a year later had a proper wedding, I guess it doesnt matter how u do it as long as u r together but I just believe in not giving up on ur dream (especially if a wedding dress is involved  )------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow">  Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 4:25pm
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why not wear the dress to the registry office? its sooo nice and that way you would still have someting you really wanted about the wedding. Failing that a wedding can be done really cheap and still be nice. -------------   
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Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 4:25pm
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Immediate family is huuuuge! We figure if no one knows then no one feels left out. I suppose we do need witnesses though?
Also, I wouldnt feel comforatble wearing a flashy puffy princess dress at a registry office. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 4:27pm
Exactly along the lines I was thinking.. We just went to one of DH's best mates wedding and it was small and cheaply done but very special. They had a backyard wedding, hired a marquee for about $200 and had a bbq type thing for food. She said it only cost them about $1500 all up which I thought was pretty good going and you could get away with a nice backyard wedding for cheaper than that even. |
NeoshasMummy wrote:Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 4:31pm
yep i agree with all that.....  ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 4:31pm
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My Aunty did this She just wore a nice top and skirt had some flowers from nana's garden and a few family members at service then came back to he rplace where veryone else was and we had a lunch/dinner thingy :)
We took pictures of them in the garden and stuff and it was lovley ------------- |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 4:37pm
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It does seem a shame to sell the dress before wearing it, when you've already got it all sorted! I've been to a bring-a-plate wedding before - people do do them, and theres really nothing wrong with it. All you'd need is someone's house that works as a venue, and friends with digital cameras. The BAP wedding I went to was in a hall they'd hired for the reception - they cut their costs massively by not hiring caterers or a photographer. But really, none of it's 'essential' for a wedding, just the marriage licence and celebrant. The rest is all up to the bride and groom and what they want. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: shaz
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 4:38pm
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My friend invited everybody over for a BBQ at her house, bring a plate etc and then announced they were getting married. It was so nice and relaxed probably the nicest wedding I've ever been too.
Other friends did the registry office thing with just two witnesses and turned up at a gathering later on...I was the first to notice the wedding rings!! They were very happy doing it that way. No fuss etc. Best wishes whatever you choose to do. ------------- Mum to Natasha Aroha 9/12/1995, Alexandra Makareta Waimarie 22/4/1998 and....Alyssa Frances Hopaea 18/03/2007 
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Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 4:44pm
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Yeah, we have been to a backyard bbq wedding, it was lovely. Very simple but really nice! The other one that we went to that was similar was a picnic, where everyone just brought their own food (no one knew the couple were getting married) it was at the beach and the couple turned up set up their picnic and then kind of disappeared (no one really noticed as there were loads of people there) then they reappeared and had got changed and had the celebrant with them and they got married right there and then. It was neat because everyone was there, but there was no angst for the couple. Could be an idea?!
------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 5:13pm
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As i said in a perevious thread, i had a registry office wedding and I wouldn't change anything about it, but it was in England so not sure if you would be able to personalise it as much here. We had 25 guests, i wore a gown and neil and best man wore formal, along with my nephews. We did an order of service our selves, i embossed and caligraphied all of them. there were words we legally had to say, but other than that we wrote our own vows, we chose our own music and my friend did a reading. It was perfect, we went out into the garden for fotos and then off to a party.
As I say not sure how personal you could have it here, only been to one wedding in NZ, but surely it's not as awful as you are making out ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 5:21pm
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Topsy, My wedding cost $5000 and was organised in a week. That $5000 covered, my dress, a new suit for DH($1350!!!), dinner for 8, hotel for the two of us, flowers, hair makeup, fake tan, programs etc. We held it at our celebrants house and then had dinner at a VERY flash restaurant in town (but it was a set menu) and all stayed the night at a hotel and had breakfast together the next day. It was perfect!
Our guests were my parents, DH's parents and DH's brother and partner. I am an only child so that was easy. We didnt invite ANY friends as it was all organised fast and to be honest, when push comes to shove they just werent as important as our family. Our family paid for their own night in the hotel. SO I think if you have a dress (and that is cheap), get DH to hire a suit. Find a nice house, or garden, get your immediate family together, shout yourself a make over and hair style, get some flowers (I just got a simple bunch of gerberas for me and a button hole for DH) get a celebrant and do the deed! You dont have to have a reception....but I think some good bubbly and some small nibbles would be a nice touch. Talk to your family and say in lieu of gifts could they help with some aspect of the wedding? Maybe a pot luck dinner. The main thing is to marry the one you love (and I think a nice frock counts too). The rest is immaterial! |
Posted By: Katherine
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 5:32pm
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Why not have the wedding at your celebrant's house? DH and I were set to do this, as the celebrant we chose had a gorgeous home with a lovely garden that she made available for weddings. If we'd chosen to do that, it was an extra $100 to her fee of $300. Or you could have the wedding at your home, and have the celebrant come there. |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 6:12pm
I think this is such a cool idea. You could hide away somewhere getting ready while the guests arrive then have your partner or the celebrant announce it and while the guests are getting over their surprise you appear in your beautiful gown (oh, I love romance). We have a huge family too and paid for our own wedding in our early 20s so didn't have a lot to spend. The key was limiting the guest list (people don't mind as long as you're fair) and keeping the catering cheap, if you've invited guests for a BBQ BYO plate and drink that will keep the price down significantly. Good luck for whatever you decide to do. I'm sure it will be magical - the most important thing is that you and your partner are there. -------------  
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 6:37pm
I think that is a great idea also and would be so romantic! Not to mention form what I understand, probably not much more than what you would spend on a registery office wedding. In the end though I think it's got to be what is important to you. If you are dreading a registery office wedding and want something more traditional, if the wedding itself is important to you, then why not postpone it until you can afford it? If however if it is the marriage that is important then a registery office wedding is going to be every bit as special and romantic and amazing!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: LeahandJoel
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 7:05pm
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I went to a friends wedding ( although no-one not even the families knew it was going to be a wedding!) we got invites for their daughters first birthday, feed the kids had a normal bbq lunch and then they disappeared while the kids were playing and came back out 10 mins later and said "thanks for coming now we are getting married!) We are thinking of the same sort of thing after no 2 arrives but haing it as a baby naming for the kids and while celebrant is here getting married as well!! Good luck, i'm sure what ever you do will be great. |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 7:06pm
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why dont you book a restaurant and a celebrant and make people rsvp and suggest no presents as they will need to buy their own meals and drinks...choose a buffet type restaurant and say you want it casual....get married there and then enjoy....who cares about the decorations etc...it is about you and your man and people will enjoy coming just so they can share with you...its not about the pressies either.
BIL and SIL did the rego office and then told family afterwards (was for good reason as child involved - long story) and still havent told some people 2 years later!!!! They were meant to have a BBQ to celebrate in a WOOHOO we are married type of way...never eventuated....but that would have been cool.... hire a hall and serve sammies even...seriously it is just a wedding that is the concerning part where finances dictate how it happens....it is the MARRIAGE itself that is important! |
Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 7:25pm
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Thanks for the ideas ladies. I think I will do a combination of your ideas. DF is being a poo tonight so I dont feel like marrying him at all at the moment, hehe!
I just want to elope when we go to Sydney but DF said he wants his grand parents to be there- well they can pay for the damn wedding! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 7:26pm
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one of my friends got married in that pagola thing in the gvt gardens, it was really nice, about 20ppl, and then i think just had a bring a plate party thing after
was alot of fun :) ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 8:01pm
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I just think that everyone is in the same boat and they understand exactly how expensive a wedding is so they will be willing to help out. Good luck anyway, I still say make sure u wear that dress!!! ------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow"> Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 9:01pm
Topsy - I went to Sebastien Bouchut and Renee Stewart's wedding last year (do you know them!? I thought you might remember Beanie from the skater days  ) - anyway, they had a backyard wedding. Everyone bought a plate and their own drinks and they had the short service at about 8pm and then everyone got tremendously drunk. It was heaps of fun and wouldn't have cost much at all (if anything... Renee made her own dress etc)
Can be done!!
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 9:07pm
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Oooo and my other friends just got married - secretly at the registry office, off to the beach for a photo shoot, then had an awesome party a few weeks later with everyone invited.
I think Niamh wishes her mum and dad had been able to be there (they are in France) but enjoyed herself anyway. Much less stress than planning a wedding. |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 22 April 2008 at 9:38pm
One thing I would recommend however...if you do slip off and do it on the quiet....don't then announce it on a facebook status update like people I know did!!! Put at lot of people's noses out of joint...especially one of the girls who was meant to be a bridesmaid!!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 8:26am
| We're having to change our wedding plans as we're broke as now, so I know how you feel. I'm just bloody lucky the venue we'd booked let me have the $650 booking fee back, cuz that's all we can spend now! We've since decided to get a celebrant, go to the gardens here in rangiora and get married with bugger all people (not all of matts family) and then back to ours for a BBQ and all that :D I still get to wear a nice frock, which i'm gonna have to make myself now - but that's okay! My only hard bit is gonna be telling my best friend of 26 years that she's not gonna be a bridesmaid anymore :/ |
Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 8:53am
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Great ideas- Now I just need to convince my dork of a DF. We are not speaking at the moment as I am peeved that I am making all this effort to find out other ideas etc and he just snubs them all. So I told him to at least make some sort of an effort and he got in a huff.....grr males!
Backyard wedding would be great if he didnt want to invite 70 people (my list is 30)! His family is huuuge and he dosnt want to leave anyone out. My parents suggested we get married in Sydney when we go and they would fly over and pay for my sis and her BF to fly over. DF parents and brother live in Sydney and so I thought it was a great idea.....but DF wasnt keen as his Grandparents wouldnt be able to go. They cant travel so that means we would have to have a wedding here which also means that if we didnt invite certain people they would get all snarky. I said we could have a little after party thing so they could be involved but he said no. grr I am sooo over it. But thanks for all your ideas, Im sure we will make a compromise in the end. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 9:03am
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DH and got married in my parents' garden and had a BBQ reception at their house. If I'd had oodles of money to spend I'd probably have done it differently, but it was still an awesome day, and for us, definitely preferable to the registry office. We really wanted the marriage, and were less concerned about the wedding.
I think you could still have bridesmaids etc if that is what you wanted - just let them wear a nice dress that they already own, they don't need to match, or if you just have 1 bridesmaid then its easy. The guys could just wear shirts and ties and dress pants, it doesn't need to be suits. I also have a huge immediate family, so I limited it to people I considered I was close to (still about 50 of them!), and my dad supplied a lamb and a pig and DH's aunts made some salads, and that was enough to put on a BBQ. We bought alcohol on sale from the supermarket and my sister and I made the cake and my friend decorated it as her gift to us. It can still be a really special day without having to cost a fortune. If you are happy with a registry wedding, then do it. But if not, make sure you've looked at all your options first. And ultimately, if you are in it for the marriage, then just do it one way or another. I am so glad that I just had the wedding I could afford, rather than waiting until I had money for an extravagant wedding - I wouldn't trade the last 2.5years of marriage for anything! I  my DH!------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 9:07am
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Why dont you have an "Engagement Party" but turn it into a wedding? Hire a hall $150, tell people instead of presents please BYO, have a few CDS going etc, be there at 7.30, then you guys be nicely dressed then at about 8.30 (by that stage everyone will be there) duck off and change into your dress (because that dress is so stunning you HAVE to wear it) and your DF can hire a nice suit for about $150 or could he borrow one? And then your DF walk back in up the front, someone start the music to your walking in song - music starts to be played - celebrant says everyone we have a surprise - then bang you walk in, you guys get married, you then have a big party and its all done!
That way your getting married with everyone that you want there, its not costing a fortune because your not paying for drinks, dinner etc, you get to wear your stunning dress, your a really pretty girl so you could do your makeup and hair so all up it wouldnt be that expensive. I think its a great idea if I say so myself lol  weddings can go SO overboard, and this way if you were thinking of going to a registry office anyway - its nicer than that but for not alot more money.
AND if you sold your dress you would lose so much money! |
Posted By: marielb
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 11:54am
Could you have the sort of wedding where its in a park/back yard and instead of a gift everyone brings a plate and drinks??? You could have a bbq with salads and things and sit on picnic blankets. A friend of mine went to a wedding like this and she said it was the best fun!!!! You would only have to pay for the celebrant then 
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Posted By: marielb
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 11:55am
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Oh, and DON'T WORRY about what others say about what you're going to do! If they are your friends/family they will happily go along with whatever you decide!!!!!
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 12:11pm
Oh, this is a great idea too. Also remember that after the event you can onsell your dress and get a bit of money back. If you spend say $150 on hiring a hall then sell your dress afterwards for around that (or more) then you've basically not spent anything, and you still get to wear your dress. -------------
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Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 12:14pm
That is a good idea! Will run it past DF when we are talking again, hehe. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 12:28pm
hahahah You make me laugh! |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 12:57pm
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I like it! Good old OB wedding planners eh? I know someone who did the surprise wedding, I thought it was so cool, wish I'd thought of it for ours!
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Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 4:16pm
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Yeah I thought it was a good idea too, working in the entertainment industry you would be surprised at how many people do this. We have a lot of "30th birthdays" that are weddings I think its a great idea!
End of the day you will be married, you still have everyone there that you want, your not spending a fortune and you get to wear that stunning dress - perfect all round really! |
Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 23 April 2008 at 10:55pm
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There have been some fabulous ideas and suggestions here so I won't go on too much, but I just wanted to say that my DH and I got married in a registry office here in Auckland and it was perfect! I would be happy to share more details if you are interested, just flick me a PM. ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 24 April 2008 at 9:48am
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Well we are talking again He came home with flowers, sweets and a card that looked like Bella had written it (he has his right hand in plaster).
I think we have decided to just get married at a registry office and have a proper wedding in a few years time. We would normally just wait but it is important for me and him that I have the same surname as Bella asap. Thanks again for all your suggestions. Will PM you Pearls! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 24 April 2008 at 9:51am
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Topsy ... we eloped (and I wore a "dress") and I loved it ... our story is at http://www.freewebs.com/nashwedding - www.freewebs.com/nashwedding and includes stuff on organising an event like this ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 24 April 2008 at 10:02am
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Oh Lilfatty that looked lovely! Do you mind telling me how much all up it cost? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 24 April 2008 at 10:16am
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It was less than $5,000 and that includes my custom made platinum and diamond wedding ring) and it would have been cheaper if we had decided on somewhere in Auckland (I had thought of Piha) however ... It was winter so thats offpeak pricing on most things ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 28 January 2010 at 7:34pm
Love this idea! How exciting would it be to go to somones engagement party but then they got married! Very cool! Wish we had done that instead of spending heaps! Would you really have a proper wedding in a few years time?? By then you probably would think whats the point, already married, same name, why spend the money?? Sounds like my wedding album, we just go the photos and was going to do the album later....never happened! Wish I spent just a little more at the time. Good luck on your decision/planning ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 January 2010 at 7:42pm
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I, sorry , we , had a backyard bbq reception , it was great , and didn't cost much at all .
I haven't read all the pages, because the ladies on here like to post a lot (jokes) , but IMO , the 2 main people you need are you , and DF , then I think if you want to do it in a different setting to a registry office, have it in a nice backyard, or even a reserve/park , and your immediate family , or even just both sets of parents , then have a bbq party for everyone later where they bring a plate . I think you should keep , and wear your dress, you bought it because you obviously like it . The main things you need for your wedding , is you , and your DF, and add a bit of love , fun and laughter, doesn't matter if its in a church , a registry , or a garden . ------------- 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 January 2010 at 7:46pm
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oh , and just to add, I watched my friend's wedding video today , it was beautiful , they had it at a beach and had a simple bbq reception at her parent's bach , it wasn't expensive and it wasn't large, but it was exactly what she wanted, when she married the man she was going to spend forever with.
Turned out that didn't happen , she died suddenly 3 months later , but she got to have the wedding she always wanted . So what im saying is , it should be the best day of YOUR , and your DF's life, and you should do it , the way it will make you happiest when you look back on it . -------------
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Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 28 January 2010 at 8:21pm
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Classic! This is such an old thread and was bumped due to someone wanting business at their site.
BellaBoo doesn't come one here anymore but did update us about a year ago that they had got married. -------------  
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 January 2010 at 8:35pm
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lol, I didn't even check the date of OP , oops -------------
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 28 January 2010 at 9:46pm
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and was Bellaboo originally Topsy? I was reading this without reading the date and got a fright when I found my response...and then couldnt believe I had written it...it was too well written
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Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 29 January 2010 at 9:23am
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Yip, she was in the due in Dec 2007 thread. -------------
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