Haha Ive lost that cluck now
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17037
Printed Date: 19 August 2025 at 1:47pm
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Topic: Haha Ive lost that cluck now
Posted By: almostthere
Subject: Haha Ive lost that cluck now
Date Posted: 08 May 2008 at 11:39am
OK, well it not the cluck totally, but I dont know. IM scared now!! 
IM really scared of the changes that having a baby will cause. Like money, working, social life. Then theres the added bonus of Diabetes and pregnancy that i gotta contend with. I just am having doubts that I can keep as close a control on my health as I will need to. IM now scared that I cant do it. I guess its normal right? I mean, im only young but for personal reasons DH and I are choosing to have our children young, but now for some reason I am scared! I wasnt before....  ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6"> 
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Replies:
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 08 May 2008 at 11:45am
I was scared to! I think its normal to stress about all the things you are -------------  
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Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 08 May 2008 at 12:09pm
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Well at least its normal to stress..
DH was stressing because he knows that this is it, I have no more pills and IM not filling another script for them this time  ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: Henna79
Date Posted: 08 May 2008 at 12:17pm
good luck almost there!! It is a huge decision but thankfully I am way to clucky and so have always wanted kids (it took 8 years to finally get preggers though so had plenty of time to get over the stress of the decision) Now that we are DH is starting to worry a wee bit about money but hey you only have to spend as much as you want 
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 08 May 2008 at 2:31pm
| we worked out a baby budget the only day and DH turned very pale. lol. im not a clucky kinda person but def want kids, if that makes sense. i think it just cos i look after my sisters 2 + 7 year old on my days off so ive been trown into it at the very very deep end and i dont get any days off from anything at all and do it on my own. at least i know i can keep up with the pace though. it is a real scary time and a real scary decision but you will be ok, its natural to be a bit scared when your life is going to change so much, just like starting a new job |
Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 08 May 2008 at 2:36pm
Yea i mean Ive never been clucky. I just know that i want a baby  SO i think i know what your trying to say :) DH has been turning pale ever since I told him that i thought we should start thinking about having children! lol Funny..------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: Helen21
Date Posted: 08 May 2008 at 4:59pm
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I agree the stressing is normal we have been trying for the past 12 months and I still get the odd pang of worry but you have to realise that ttc does take time and then once you are pg you have 40weeks to get used to the idea on a baby. It's really a one step at a time thing.
I don't think the age thing matters at all you known when you are ready to become a mum. I'm only 22 and we are ttc #3! Doesn't matter how old or young you are ttc is going to make anyone stress a little. And you have all of us to support you!
Goodluck I'm sure you will be fine ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Chloe 12/7/03 Miya 5/11/05 |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 08 May 2008 at 7:48pm
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I think DH's always stress about the money, doesn't seem to matter is its No 1 or No 4. It seems to be something that guys think about.
I don't think they understand how overwhelming wanting to be a mum can be. I'm not all that clucky either, but I know I want to be a mum and its not negotiable. |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 08 May 2008 at 8:59pm
Lol Fleury!!  Totally agree!
My DH is almost 31 so he is ready to have children and said we should just go hammer and tongs now instead of next month lol. He does still worry about the money side of it though but I dont think there will even be a time when your financially ready to have children. The more we have the more we spend, so to speak! Kaysey Im sure when it comes to the crunch you will be fine . ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 09 May 2008 at 10:04am
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Hey how do you know my name? IM sure i know you from somewhere, esp since you know how to spell it! lol
I know, DH and I havce been having lotsa talks lately about the prospect of going with out pills. See, we recently took out a fairly considerable loan in the last two months as well (un planned, crashed the car had to get a new one, so paid off credit cards etc) so we have been discussing if we can have a baby and pay off the loan. We have worked out that if we knuckle down now, we can pay it off within 18 month or so. I thought that we could pay as much as possible before we get pg and if we happen to fall pg before its paid off, we can just pay as much as we can up until i get to 6 months pg and then pull it right back and lengthen the pay period and drop our mortgage to interest only. Does that make sense? OK, so its super pre planned, but i figure that if I have to plan everythng anyway cosof my diabetes i may as well plan EVERYTHING!  lol------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: Helen21
Date Posted: 09 May 2008 at 11:58am
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I know that kids do cost money but if you gradually start buying baby stuff as soon as your pg(or sooner) it really doesn't effect the weekly budget that much a part from nappies and formula if you don't breastfeed. And we also started buying nappies 1 packet with the shopping each fortnight while I was pg which helped. We also started putting away $50 a week into a 'baby' account when I was pg so we learnt to live on a little less as well as having some extra money when bubs arrives. It's not until they start saying "I want... (insert most expensive toy here!)" that it really starts getting costly!
Your plan sounds good almostthere ------------- http://lilypie.com">
Chloe 12/7/03 Miya 5/11/05 |
Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 09 May 2008 at 2:55pm
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Lol yay! glad to hear you say that.. IM not too worried about the baby costing too much, just the fact that ill be dropping to $320 over teh weeks while on maternity leave.. which is quite a drop for us but im sure we'll cope if we can get the loan paid off! ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 09 May 2008 at 4:23pm
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I think its normal to feel that way. My DF was fully scared to start with but now he is super excited as we only have about 4 weeks left until our baby is due.
We are still both scared about being parents and stuff, but the way we see it is that there is never a right time for kids and it will always be a lil scary until you get the hang of it ------------- |
Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 09 May 2008 at 4:36pm
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Aww, i cant wait til I can say its me not far from having a baby I know it can take time but i think my fear has been alleviated somewhat! thanks guys :) ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 09 May 2008 at 5:01pm
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Thats what we are all here for **hugs** ------------- |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 09 May 2008 at 5:02pm
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Oh and, when I looked at my BFP I nearly passed out even though I expected it lol, I though "OMG what have we done!!!" lol but when you see that "Omg what have we done" on yor first scan wiggling and kicking around you will know that its all worth it and your fear will turn into extreme excitment ------------- |
Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 09 May 2008 at 5:12pm
Awww!!!! OMG i even had the beginnings of tears when i read that.  ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 09 May 2008 at 7:47pm
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Ex NZWP ers in here Kaysey!! Rianna is a fellow 08 bride.
We have ended up in a similar financial position, have taken out a loan to pay off the car and the cc's which will take 18 months to pay back. I'm not worried so much about the cost of the baby, I'm worried about losing one income, its not huge but its a help and I want to be able to afford as much time off as I can, and not be forced back to work IYKWIM. Good Luck, I think a certain leap of faith is required. Its hard if your the type of person that likes to plan everything. |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 09 May 2008 at 11:02pm
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Hehe Yep NZWP! I am b2b2008 on NZWP! Mainly a lurker these days. I got your name from your profile ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
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Posted By: alexbabe
Date Posted: 10 May 2008 at 9:35pm
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kaysey- hun all the plans i have heard you talk about at work and stuff, i know u and dh will be fine, its just a matter of the unknown and what it brings.
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Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 11 May 2008 at 11:47am
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Hello fellow NZWPers
*sigh* yea i guess all these fears are normal.. Though i cant wait to be a mother, i am a little scared of all of it ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 13 May 2008 at 9:56pm
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The day I got my BFP, i was so excited I almost forgot to pull up my pants before I ran out to show DH(it showed before I had even finished peeing).
By that afternoon I was freaking out. With the same worries, how can we afford to do this etc. I guess its something we all go through, especially when we are constantly being told how bad things are getting financially. My sister has 2 kids and they live on one income and her mantra is.. you pay all the essentials for living and then just make do if theres anything left. I keep reminding myself that whenever I get spooked. Dont worry chick, Im sure its worth the worry Funny how they get us worrying even before they are here!-------------   
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Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 8:42am
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Lol it is funny indeed! I only have a few more weeks before we throw ourselves into fulltime TTC.. Scary thought ut think we're gonna be ok ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: alexbabe
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:35pm
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almostthere-yeah not to long till you off the pill-must be exciting.
its amazing how much we worry before baby is even here. ------------- http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/"> 
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Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:44pm
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Yes exciting and nerve wracking.. I keep pointing it out to DH. Last night he was being very nice to me and even gave me a cuddle and calle dme: the mother of his future children.. I could have melted! ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: Phat_Cat
Date Posted: 15 May 2008 at 1:35pm
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we all freak out its only natural as you want the best for your children. sorry to say you are normal with your fears/concerns its a bi step but a well worth one. DH's are funny like that mine always wanted to have children in a 5 year plan so that we would have time to save etc. Well fate had a different plan and after losing number one to a MC everything changed and within that 5 years we are married and have number 2 child on the way and wouldnt have it any other way. You learn to budget, you learn to cope and these little people have such an impact on you its crazy!! Also buy nappies when they are on special New World and the Warehouse do good specials from time to time on huggies... and we bought (from our TTC stage) & borrowed alot of stuff as well...people are amazing when you tell them that you are expecting and trademe is a good place too... LOL
good luck!! ------------- Tristen - 24/06/07 Rylan - 11/12/08 Angel Babies -14/08/05 & 21/01/2010 Curtis - 26/02/12 |
Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 15 May 2008 at 2:49pm
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OO thanks for that tip! I keep looking at things like that and DH always goes a bit funny, so i stop looking., When we do finally start TTC next month i think i might just start stockpiling ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 16 May 2008 at 2:22pm
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Like everyone says that stress is normal. Even we I was around 8 months preggers I was questioning things lol. It'll all work out. I would definitely recommend buying things over the course of your pregnancy, makes it a lot easier....Good luck TTC!! ------------- 
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Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 16 May 2008 at 2:45pm
That's precisely how I feel. We have had two full time incomes forever and going down to one is going to be a struggle. We will be able to pay the bills but not have much else left over and we don't believe in credit cards! It sucks to think I will need to go back to work 6-12 months after the baby is born when I would like to be able to be a SAHM. |
fleury wrote:Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 16 May 2008 at 2:50pm
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Ok, this is from a kind of different perspective....I actually envy you for losing your cluck. I'm at the stage where a baby is something that I want just so badly, that I am reduced almost to tears when I see a mum to be, because I so badly want that to be me. We are TTC at the end of this year, but that is sooooo far away, and I have this horrible feeling that it will be too late...money will be tight, but we have amazing family support and I know that we will MAKE it work...but it's still soooo far away, and DF doesn't really understand this overwhelming desire I have - yes he would like children now and if we won Lotto, it would be happening now, but it doesn't consume him like it does me...
I know that sounds really obsessive I guess, TTC and children AREN'T the only thing I think about but yeah (I'm also planning a wedding, and doing house renovations and just generally living life. |
Posted By: GuestGuest
Date Posted: 16 May 2008 at 3:18pm
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Hey Minik8e, you don't sound obsessive at all and I know that is the case for many people in this forum. Don't worry, the end of the year isn't as far away as you think (it is almost June already) and it must be exciting to have your wedding to look forward to!
I really hope I don't get too clucky because I don't want to start getting overly upset every month that my AF shows up. Right now I am enjoying TTC and I hope it stays that way. Every month I don't get pregnant is another month we pay off more of the mortgage (always trying to look for a positive side!)
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Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 16 May 2008 at 3:19pm
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No it doesnt sounds obsessive at all! I cant say ive experienced the cluck to the same extent as you, but i have been in a place where DH had said he didnt want children at all. This made me question the need for our relationship becuase as far as I was concerned thats where we were ending up. He had never made it know to me in the past thaat he didnt want children, in fact quite the opposite!!
I would see women and be close to tears, knowing that i may never experience that. It is tough i know it is!!
I guess the point of this thread was to make it known to anyone that would listen that i wsa scared. I still very much want ot start my own family, but often voicing the fears etc can help
I really hope that this year flies for you and that soon you can experience motherhood for yourself hon, I really do ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 16 May 2008 at 3:34pm
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Yeah I can understand your fear - it's such a huge, immense, life-changing decision that will affect all factors of your life (wow, I just read that back - how reassuring!!!). I think I would be more worried if you WEREN'T scared (especially with your first bubs), but that would just be my opinion!!
Have your fears been alleviated a little? I do know exactly where you're coming from, I guess I just needed to get it out and this seemed like an ok place - sorry!! One of my colleague's DILs came into the office yesterday, she's 25 weeks pregnant and yeah hehehe |
Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 16 May 2008 at 4:41pm
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AWww i hope i didnt ofend you!!! I know how that wait to start ttc is hard!! Its ok, you can vent anywhere u like hon!!
My fears are getting alleviated somewhat, but i reckon they'll never go away but from what i hear they are normal lol ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |