Daycare Mums
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Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17214
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Topic: Daycare Mums
Posted By: FionaS
Subject: Daycare Mums
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 12:26pm
Not a debate (please  )
Out of interest, do you feel daycare is beneficial to your child? Do you (those of you whose kids are at daycare) experience any negative effects of daycare on your child / family? Or do you find they totally thrive? ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Replies:
Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 12:34pm
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All of mine have thrived.
Abby in particular started at around the age Gabrielle is and after several months of difficult settling in she was great. She's now three and daycare has really changed her for the better, she is much more self assertive and sociable now. We haven't had any negative effects except she wants to go more often  .
She goes on a Monday and Wednesday for 6 hours a day and a Friday for three. Which is about all I want her to go as she is my last baby. Plus she has picked up a huge amount of knowledge from there. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 12:35pm
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Well, for me, it's not about it being beneficial. It's necessary. But I think he does get a lot out of being there, and he really enjoys being with the other kids.
In a perfect world I would still send him, but maybe just two days a week rather than 5 (although he is only there from 9-3). Possibly not much help sorry Fiona! |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 12:38pm
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Are we talking full-time or part-time daycare?
Isla goes 9 hrs a week- 1-3.30pm on 2 afternoons, and 4 hrs on wed am. Despite still crying when I leave, I know she has a great time. I wait in another room til she stops crying, for my peace of mind, and its only ever a few mins. She is kept busy, learns new things,...they had a honey comb in there the other day, and were learning about bees and were scraping the honey off and got to bring some home, ..she is taught about things like washing your hands,..now when she follows me into the loo, as soon as I stand up shes poninting into the bathroom to remind me to wash my hands!,...interaction with other kids babies up to 4 yr olds,. all good skills! Totally happy she goes there, even tho I still often feel guilty about it since I dont even work. Although I now know its as much for her as it is for me! |
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 12:40pm
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Charlotte totally thrives, is very switched on and definitely ahead of her non-daycare peers. You can really see the difference when you put her with another child about her age who doesn't go to daycare at all. She gets so much stimulation and is exposed to everything from painting to play dough to sand to swings every day. She loves it and is itching to get back after the weekend.
IMO, its awesome and I will happily send along our next one (out of necessity as I will have to come back to work) but even if I wasn't going back, I would still enrol for at least part of the time. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 12:43pm
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Maddie totally thrives!!! They can do so much there with her that we wouldn't even think of or have the time to do at home!! She really loves it and I love that they have a learning programme for her so she is learning all the time. It's great.
We'll happily send number 2 along when that time comes though for us also it will be a necessity. I do think that picking a really good day care it key!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:00pm
I'm considering 3 days per week. Since I won't have another baby to care for, for over 12 months, I'd like to work more hours for the next year to help with mortgage etc. Plus, despite my best efforts, Elle gets bored at home so we are always out at parks etc. I think she would enjoy daycare but it is REALLY REALLY REALLY (emphasis not shouting  ) hard for me as I was always 100% sure I'd be a fulltime stay at home Mum and to be completely honest, was totally anti-daycare (sorry - but I was...not now though). Now our circumstances have changed and I have learned that kids are all different and benefit from different things. I think my assertive, intelligent (yes bragging) strong minded wee girl would love some time at daycare. I couldn't do fulltime, it's just not me but part-time might work. Eeek. I want to do what is best for all of us but Elles does come first, since financially we can cope without me working if we have to. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:04pm
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It is a hard decision. I put isla into daycare out of necessity for my mental health, but now can really see how much she gets from it. Although she does only go 9 hrs a week, so not the same as 3 days.. but I wouldnt want her more than that while Im not working, so it works well for us!
Remember u can shop around and find a place that suits you both, and also there can be HUGE waiting lists! |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:06pm
Caitlyn has always been assertive and strong minded, and ahead of her peers in speech , walking etc (yes,bragging too  ) and she really thrived at Daycare, it really helped stimulate her and gave her chances to challenge herself, so if Elle is anything like that i think she would love it.
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:12pm
LOL. Yeap, Elle is the most assertive, determined and independent person I know...and she's only 20months...imgaine what she'll be like when she is 20! 
She wants to learn new things **all** the time but never wants help - she is determined to do it all on her own. I was like that as a child too actually. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:16pm
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Jaymie has been doing 2 days a week for a month. It has already had some benefits - she is more sociable and ready to accept other people more readily. She use to cry whenever another child came within her personal space, but now she is able to have other children near her and playing with her. I think as she is our only child, the socialisation is important for her. ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:16pm
| Im sure she will love it Fiona! Isla has so much fun, and now she doesnt scream to leave when I go to pick her up, but takes me to show me stuff, too cute! |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:22pm
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My olders kids loved it and they thrived, they are still friends with the kids that they went to daycare with, which is so special. Conor is still in the same class as one of the boys that he started DC with. Unfortunately next year they will be separated for the first time since they were 3!!
So not only will she learn heaps, she will make "lifelong" friends. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:24pm
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Aww Mel!
Hmmm so now to find one so I can explore pricing etc. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:26pm
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Fiona i think given her personailty Elle would thrive.
To answer your questions, I think it has been beneficial. Since Paris pretty much stayed home for the 1st year of her life, she was scared of EVERYONE, i mean if anyone other than mum, dad, and nana came into the room, she'd sream from the time they came in to the time they left. She started daycare at 11 mths and i was so petrified of how she'd cope. She coped well and became much more confident and happy with new people, to the point that now, with her going to school soon she is wonderfully outgoing. She still has her shy moments but overall deals well with new situations which previously she seriously didn't. Ok, so, downside.. which probably doesn't apply was for sending ayja to daycare so early, it mucked up her routine something mental, but again she was 11weeks, and they couldn't always get to her right when she was showing itred cues, or couldn't put her straight to bed cos she'd cry for a couple minutes then go to sleep but if others were just going to sleep that wasn't ideal. Though at this stage that shouldn't affect Elle. Ayja, from being in daycare since so young, has always been very very sociable, plunges head first into new situations, very independant. For both my girls it has given them the opportunities to experience a world of things that really if they were at home, i could have tried to provide but probably not to the extent of what they can. Also, socialising with other kids, in an environment where teachers are watching out for them is great, they learn what's right and wrong and how to deal with other kids, they learn to sit and listen at mat times, to sit and eat nicely at meal times etc. It's quite funny because our group of mums through daycare has commented before that at birthday parties etc, you say it's food time and the daycare kids all go sit down nicely at the tables and wait quietly and eat nicely etc whereas some non-daycare kids will usually need to be called another time, and tend to leave the table pretty quickly, the daycare ones are the ones that are there till it's all gone!lol. I think they learn alot of how to behave in situations with other people/children, and it's good for them to learn to trust other adults outside of their family and learn to form bonds with other people in a caring relationship. Again, downside, which you'll get with all situations.. ie playgroups, kindy school, is that yes from time to time they pick up on some behaviour that might not be great, they might pick up on some interesting words which they might try, or try a new thing like the mega-tantrums that ayja tried out after seeing her little friend use them effectively. In those instances we just carry on with our way of doing things, our routines, and remind them that THAT type of behaviour/language is not acceptable here in our house, also it's great to let daycare teachers know too and they'll keep a watch for it and help kurb it as well as looking for the source that they might be picking it up from. The biggest thing too, as others have said, is the amount of knowledge they pick up. Ayja astounds me with what she's coming up with because since going in with the over-twos, she is now in with kids ranging up to 5 years, so picks up alot of knowledge from them.. probably helps that all paris's friends have adopted her too, but now at nearly three, she can say abc's, identify letters and numbers (even knows a few that her sister gets stuck on which paris gets grumpy about), and aheap of other stuff - they learn alot about life and the world around them - our girls go to the recycling centre to see where the recycling they do goes, they go to the gym, they go on park trips, they go to the A&P shows, they go to kiddie concerts like baby proms, and they have topics about everything so learn a heck of alot and might even find alife-long interest. There's a huge difference betweent he effects of having a kid that's in daycare from 7.30 am till 5pm every day of the week, and having a child that's in there a few days a week which i think is a really good balance. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:26pm
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Do you want one around our area or closer to where you work?
------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:43pm
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Probably around here as I work in the city. For some reason I prefer the idea of a suburban one.
Thanks for all that info Janine :) I overheard some ladies talking at the playground today and they were convinced that their daycare kids were more relaxed, adaptable etc than their stay-at-home kids (it sounded like they'd gone back to work with their first and stayed home with their second). Not suggesting that is necessarily true as temperament etc comes into it but it was interesting to listen in. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:52pm
| Fiona, my little boy is in a daycare in Onehunga which follows a Christian philosophy. PM me if you want any details. |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:54pm
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I've got Coopers name down at Toybox on Manukau Road (Trafalgar St end) and KiwiSupertots by KFC. I'd prefer Toybox as I've heard it is family owned and one of the teachers at school used to teach there and knows the owners well.
I won't be sending him to the same one has Conor and Nyah went to as I wasn't happy with them towards the end. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 1:58pm
| Which one was that Mel? Wondering if it is the same one Joshua is at.... |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:02pm
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Even thinking about it makes me nervous! ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:03pm
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They both went to Babes on Crowne St (the road by the shell station on Mt Albert Rd) and then they went to Royal Oak Childcare on Mt Albert Rd, down by Pah Road lights. (they are owned by the same couple). ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:08pm
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So are there usually long waiting lists? ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:09pm
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Wait lists can be anything from a few months upwards, I think I've even heard of almost a year wait lists!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: gypsynita
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:10pm
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Just out of interest - what age do you think is ideal to send them (assuming it's a perfect world and money/work isn't a factor!) ------------- Anita Mum to Cian (Aug 08), Josh (Jun 10) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:10pm
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Oh well that won't work then!
Hmmm. Decisions. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:11pm
| There is an 18 month waiting list for under 2's where Isla goes! |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:13pm
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Ok so that really won't work then! ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:16pm
That seems so nuts! So basically....some mums need to book a space before baby is even conceived???? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Kellz wrote:Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:17pm
You just have to ring around and go on lots of visits, not all waiting lists are quite that bad thankfully! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:17pm
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Fiona, I'm far from being a Daycare Mummy (I have personal reasons why I would NEVER send my boy to daycare)...BUT I think that you should definitely take the plunge and enrol Elle. At the end of the day if it all turns to custard & it doesn't work out for both baby and Mum, you can take her back out and slip back into your old routine at home.
You won't know for sure how Elle will cope in that situation UNTIL you try it. ------------- Single Mum to a darling wee boy of 3 years :) |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:21pm
Put it this way, I put Cooper's name down when I was 8mths pregnant with him. With a start date of the end of August! ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:21pm
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Waiting lists can vary Fiona, I have friends who managed to get their kiddies into daycare within a matter of a fortnight and others who do go on rather long waiting lists.
I'm *guessing* Auckland has a reasonable amount of daycare centres so the waiting lists shouldn't be quite as long as other places in NZ. ------------- Single Mum to a darling wee boy of 3 years :) |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:22pm
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End of August this year Mel?
....if so, thats CRAZY!! By the time Elle would start DC she would nearly be old enough for Kindy... ------------- Single Mum to a darling wee boy of 3 years :) |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:22pm
It is that bad. My sister is a manager of a centre in Ponsonby, they have a two year waiting list and are in desparate need for more qualified teachers. There is a shortage of teachers, and in return there is a shortage of spaces in the centres. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:23pm
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If only number 2 was on the way as planned none of this would be an issue! I'd be a stay-at-home mum, full stop. It's only because we have to wait so long before we can even TTC again that I'm considering this option.
I guess everything happens for a reason though. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:25pm
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Oh wow Mel ...you sure it doesn't differ in certain areas?
Most of my high school friends have studied and become qualified in this area & currently working. Seemed to be the popular choice for tertiary study back then ------------- Single Mum to a darling wee boy of 3 years :) |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:29pm
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It could be different in different areas, I would suspect that the central city centres would be fuller than say ones further away. I know in our area it's really tough and there are a shortage of centres too.
Fiona I'd do a ring around and get an idea of the wait lists (if any). Or consider home based care? ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:32pm
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Home based care would definately be my preference. I will think about it and talk with MIL as she said she would like to have more time with Elle.
Why oh why do I feel guilty about this? I guess it is hard to change mindsets, even when they are irrational. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:46pm
I'd say it does vary from place to place or area to area...when we started looking there were several places who could take us in a matter of weeks including the Kindercare we chose (she started within 2 weeks), but then Kindercare in Milford for example was about 8 month wait. I would imagine central city areas with the high work population would fill up fast compared to some of the more outlying areas. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Shorty
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 2:49pm
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We chose in home care till our boy was 1, we then moved him into a DC by work.
We found inhome to be fantastic and could not fault his carer, she loved our boy as if he was her own! Each DC has different waiting list, also each room has a different waiting list. Our DC has about a year for the babies room then it varies for the next 3 rooms. My son would not have it any other way, by the time the weekend is up he is ready to go to DC, he is talking about them all the way there. My suggestion would be to visit a few and have a chat to them....also the carers in the room Elle might be in. I went around to a couple when we were looking, in various areas, work...home. We went with by work so if we were needed urgently we were 2 mins away. They are just lovely and have been so helpful...some things have taken a bit of help...allegies etc. We have stated TT and they have been so supportive! I would be happy to take you along for a visit, they would love to show you around! |
Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 4:13pm
| I did Caitlyns daycare as a Porse family educator so she did not officially go to a daycare centre but I took her to church playgroups, music and movement group and I used to take her to and from Kindy for kelly(caitlynsmygirl) |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 5:02pm
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I havnt read what every one wrote but I agree with Janine.
Zaara stayed home for the 1st year, and when she went to Day care I found her to be more confident and she started walking soon after she started Day care. She talks alot I think for her age and she knows soooo many songs, rhymes, stories etc that I dont think I could have taught her that even if I tried. They do so much at Day care and they do it from scratch and kids all join in with what ever is going on. They can get messy and wet etc at Day care, while at home we try and avoid that. Also at home on weekends even tho we try to keep her entertained I find that may be she gets bored after a bit..... I think day care is great!! However the down side is that she does pick up some funny habbits. Tantrums, spitting, bitting etc (No bad words yet...Thank God). But we just keep enforcing that this is not acceptable at home and she does learn sooner or later. But I think there are way more upsides then down. Oh and Zaara goes to Day care 5 days a week from 8.30 - 3.30 (Some time 4). ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 7:00pm
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My kids have been in creche full time from 3 months and yes, had done the tantrums, bitting and spitting but I'm sure that whether they were in creche or kindy or even school for that matter they would pick up bad habits. You have to make sure that you work with the DC to handle the problem.
I do wonder why some are called Daycare and some are called Creche ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Alex 6 and Harry 8 |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 7:48pm
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hehe, ours is officially called an early education centre, my friend who used to teach there hates the word daycare as it implies they just baby sit the kids .. which they sooo don't, it really is an early childhood education they get.
Fiona, like others have said you might find that in-home or nanny etc work better, depending on hours you need to work and you can go through Porse, or there are various nanny agencies out there that are very very reputable, and that could work until she got into daycare if the list at the one you liked was a bit long. The other thing some people do is shared care with another family and hire a nanny between them so they can fill in the gaps, and kids either go to one or the other's house and that also fulfils the social side. Most nanny agencies etc also have their nannies keep a progress book of what the child has done/learnt and eaten that day and sleeps times and all that, plus alot of agencies have weekly playgroups that the nannies take the kids to as well so the kids socialise and the nannies can catch up and pick up different ideas from one another.. much like a coffee group. (he he, can you guess i was a nanny before i went nursing?) there are really lots of options out there, good luck finding the one that suits you best. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 8:12pm
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Ella goes to home based care (which works really well for us and she loves going). We go through Jemmas and they run a playgroup once a week, which Ella's educarer takes her to it- it's a great a way for her to get more personalised attention, but at the same time a bit of extra socialisation and stimulation. good luck with whatever you decide to do ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 8:38pm
| Ha Jack picked up all of those bad habits without even going to daycare. |
Posted By: catisla
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 8:40pm
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I've been planning on going back to work three days a week from Feb next year (baby will be about 5 months old) - it means baby will be in care from about 7.30 - 5.30 (a long day) but i need to work for financial reasons and i would rather do 24 hours over three days than over five so i can have two full days off with my baby.
does this sound ok? or would i be better off considering shorter days for the baby's sake?? i have his name down for a centre that i have visited and am happy with ------------- |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 14 May 2008 at 11:21pm
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Andrew went to daycare from 5 months old and I think it made him the headstrong boy he is. He had learnt a lot at daycare but also picked up on some bad things as well. Best way to find out about them is to ring them and visit them. In some ways I think Josh has had it better by staying at home with me till he is about 18 months old and then he is going into care. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |