I need ideas!!
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Topic: I need ideas!!
Posted By: busymum
Subject: I need ideas!!
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 5:55pm
My DH is struggling with SAHD stuff, it's been 7 mos for him but he's had three at a time all that time. We're going to talk about what to do tonight. He wants to keep on as SAHD but please chuck us all the ideas you can for me to help him - thanks as always!  -------------  |
Replies:
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 6:14pm
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I know you want to homeschool the girls but what about Hannah going into kindy for a couple of mornings a week. Would help Nat out a bit and I think Hannah would enjoy it. You could put her in the one that Andrew goes to and it would be free with the 20 hours free. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 6:20pm
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Fisrt of all, kudos to your DH for being a SAHD. He is doing amazingly well. At risk of being gender stereotypical here but I reckon it must be way harder for a guy to get to grips with being at home with kids 24/7.
Does he get involved with playgroups and the like? Maybe that would help him, get some adult time whilst also being with the girls. Also, Bec's suggestion of kindy is a great one. Allow him time with the littlies whilst Hannah is getting big kid time. All the best with this - SAHD's rock! |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 6:27pm
It's going to be a tough decision..but you could sell 2 of them. I'd pick the tidiest one 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 7:03pm
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Haha Pepsi!!
Becks I was thinking on that... there aren't big waiting lists for kindies in PN? I think there is a couple of months wait usually, isn't there? ------------- |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 7:29pm
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I have nothing intelligent to add except big ups to Nat (and all other SAHP's) coz I would go stark raving mad stuck at home on my own with this lot! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: LeahandJoel
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 7:54pm
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He could also try playcentre, all ages from birth to school age (5-6 dependimg on when you wouls start them), other kids as well love having dads at playcentre. Also gets them all out of the house for a few hours in the morning. Good on him for being a SAHD -------------  
 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 8:15pm
thanks for the replies (keep them coming!). Just to clarify, at the moment DH and the kids are going to the puzzle library and the public library weekly, playcentre x2 per week, and mainly music each week also. MIL does 1hr of housework each week also, and between all of that there is one weekday off! And he knows of no other SAHDs or dads' groups around... gets tired of talking "girl stuff" at women-dominated coffee groups/playcentre/music/etc  ------------- |
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 8:25pm
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Can he start doing some cool "outdoors" activities with them - I know its getting really cold now, but what about wrapping up really warm and heading out to Himitangi to collect driftwood, or things like that? Its sounds like he is doing lots of stuff already - but am guessing its a bit tough being a bloke at the women dominated things (its hard enough as a chick going into some of these things!) What about something like jumping beans (do they have that in Palmy?) - might be a bit expensive though, not sure. Swimming? My brother is a SAHD, but he doesnt drive and they live semi-rural, so the only thing that they do on a regular basis is kindy (my nephew is 3), but he has had a really tough time, being so isolated. I try to go up once a week and pick them up and take them out, but some weeks its a bit hard.
------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 8:25pm
Wow, that's a lot of stuff. My DH and Michaela just hang out together 
We've contacted our local plunket to find out if they can set up a sahd group maybe you could do the same - a pin group for blokes. Kindy's a great idea too, in fact Briona's not far off qualifying for 20 free hours too if you'd be happy to send her to kindy or pre-school a couple of mornings/days a week. -------------  
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 8:28pm
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wow they do do a lot.. i only take toby to playgroup once a week and just recently the library too.
maybe he needs to hang back a bit and just chill at home more? ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 8:39pm
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I am all for pushing the girls into activities and motivating into your DH into becoming a joiner, I'm not really talking about kindy either, I have heaps of fun with Olivia at dance classes and swimming lessons. How about reconnecting the girls with Daddy on a one to one basis by giving him time to spend alone with him. It must he harder to form that bond when it is a 3 tag team action.
I think there is also something to be said about the tedium of house work as well, I mean I don't mind it myself but I remember you saying once he wasn't good with the Ground Hog Day aspect of it. So maybe hiring a cleaner for 1hr per week to do the floors and washing so it isn't completely killer. ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 8:47pm
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I agree with MrsM, I'd take advantage of the 20 free hours, see if she can go in the mornings to either kindy or daycare.
I also agree with Peace, I think it would be great for him to have a break from the house cleaning/washing aspect of things at least one day a week. Good luck on your decision making. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 8:48pm
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Since you go to playcentre can Hannah and Briona not be left there alone yet? He could pick up another day and then he only has to go the parent help days and when Kryssi wants to go. Maybe he could organise a boys night once a week where he could do boy things with his friends (play cards or something I don't know) so he has something to look forward to?
I think hes doing a really awesome job, I have enough trouble with 2
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 10:33pm
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I was brought up by a SAHD, it rocked!
Dad used to take us on all his errands (he made work for himself by always buying cars that broke down ). We used to think it was awesome. I know it sounds harsh, but he treated it more like he was working from home and we were his little helpers. From an early age I knew all about cars (could bleed brakes when I was 10), learnt how to do architectural drawings with dad, spent time hunting and shooting, driving etc. He taught us awesome life skills. We also went to kindy every morning.
I think a good thing for not only dads but everyone to remember is that its OK to just do nothing, and just have a 'learning free' day. Kind of like learning through osmosis rather than doing specific learning activities or constantly being on the go. We also used to do things like going to collect leaves (Dad would let us roam free for about 2 hours in the backyard while doing this) and then he'd spend maybe an hour making collages with us. 2 hours off - 1 hour on. Not bad! |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 10:46pm
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ooooh , isnt there some other sahd's on here eg, superdad? could they maybe get talking, just so Nat knows hes not the only one out there and so he can talk about it to another male ?
he sounds like hes doing an awesome job though, good on him 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 21 May 2008 at 11:08pm
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Teresa Campbell St doesn't have a waiting list you could enrol her this week and she could start next week. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 22 May 2008 at 7:30am
Good on him Shame there are no SAHD groups or more Dads involved in the activites they attend. Maybe a 'Dad time out day' is what he needs Im not sure of the criteria, but ive heard of some parents getting 9 free hours care, regardless of age. But that would probaly mean the girls have no free day------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 22 May 2008 at 9:53am
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I'm with Emz on this one. My dad wasn't a SAHD as such, but we lived on a farm, and I was one of many, so my mum would send the older 2-3 off with my dad for the day. We always had a ball being dad's 'helpers' (I'm sure life was much easier for him on days we stayed home, but we didn't realise that at the time!).
So my suggestion would be for your DH to think of what he enjoys doing, and involve the girls in that. Guessing here, but what about going on walks, maybe a building project - even if its just a small piece of furniture? If he's having a good time, the girls will pick up on that and enjoy themselves too. I thought RachandJack's suggestion of a night with the boys was a good one too. Is there something he can do for himself? Even maybe a uni paper or something? I hope things get better for you all ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 22 May 2008 at 10:23am
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Maybe he's trying to do too much stuff out of the house? I know it stresses me out when I try and commit to too many things...
So, some at home activities maybe? Hide and seek? Getting the girls to help him with house work? We used to make rain puddles out of newspaper and put them around the house and you were only allowed to jump in puddles - I don't remember if that's exactly the game but recall it being super fun and very time consuming
They could write and illustrate a book together? Bake? I'm all for getting kids involved in housework. I don't know how much he does it at this stage... and sometimes it is much more work than it's worth!... but I believe the things they learn from it are super beneficial to them. As well as getting housework done and spending quality time etc. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 22 May 2008 at 2:13pm
annnnd you and the girls could work on a wee book for dad for fathers day ,(or anyday of course ) photos of him and the girls and then get the girls to dictate to you what they like about spending time with daddy and favourite things they've done etc
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nikkiwhyte wrote: