What do I do?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=17647
Printed Date: 25 October 2025 at 1:50pm
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Topic: What do I do?
Posted By: Henna79
Subject: What do I do?
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 11:26am
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This might be a bit of a story so sorry if its to long. Ok I moved out of home 10 years ago and a few years after that my sister bought a friend home who ended up living at there so she is family to those who were still home but not really to me (I was living in Nelson them in Paeroa) anyway its her 21st this weekend and I have only just been told about it and of course am expected to drop everything and go 'home'. I am so sick of doing this with my family as it happens all the time and am sort of wanting to make a stand this time. Do I? or do I just go? Just to add a but more as to why I am not keen I am tired of feeling like all I am doing re my pregnancy and just life in general wrong. I ended up having to tell family the sex of baby this week as I accidentally let it slip to my brother and so thought they might not be to happy if they found out through others and didn't exactly get the response I wanted and am now critisised by the for finding out in first place and now getting it in the ear from my them re why on earth am I not coming this weekend ra ra ra.
Any advice is much appreciated and again sorry for the rant. DH tells me I shouldn't go and that I need to toughen up in general with them  I know I need to but just can't seem to summon the balls to do it.
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Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 11:32am
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I agree with your DH. If you don't want to go then don't.
I didn't go to my brothers 21st because I was tired and I just said that. |
Posted By: MyBelly
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 11:43am
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Oh honey that sucks so badly, i know how you feel, DH tells me i need to "toughen up" with my family but its easier said than done huh?
Noone should be critisising you though for finding out the sex of your baby, its exactly that, yours. If you dont want to go honey then dont, say that you are too tired and dont want to, tell them you havent got the money right now, and will go when you have the money or when baby comes, its up to you. Maybe you could try telling them and somehow find the balls to do it, i ended up doing it wen i was about 20weeks preg and i didnt talk to my sisters for a couple of months, but then they got over it and realised tat there was going to be a baby soon and tey wanted to see it, so had to do what i wanted. and maybe tell them and then go and spoil yourself so you dont feel so bad? i.e. chocolate, manicure, facial, movies shopping etc?? good luck thou hun 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 11:56am
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I agree with the others. There's no point stressing out over your family and what sounds like their emotional blackmail. You have your own family now and you need to put them first. Your family is going to have to learn that you won't be jumping through hoops for them anymore, best to make the stand now before baby comes.
Easier said than done I know, but it sounds like your DH is going to be supportive though so go for it, you DH and baby are what really matters. -------------  
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 11:58am
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You shouldn't go. They should have given you more notice, after all they've known that she was having a birthday. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 12:18pm
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Aw, you poor thing!
I agree with the others: Its your choice.. stay home if you want to  ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6"> 
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 12:24pm
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Sorry but they told you just this last weekend? No way o zay. They need to give a bit of a longer warning and I will not go if I dont feel up to it.
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 12:25pm
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Your DH sounds like mine! As the others have said, if you don't want to go then don't. If you can tell them how you feel but if not then use money or feeling tired as an excuse, I know it is often hard to tell your family that you aren't happy with them. Sounds like if you go it could be quite stressful which is not really what you need while you are pg.
All the best whatever you decide to do ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 3:18pm
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You shouldnt do things just because everyone else expects you to otherwise one day it all blows up. If you dont want to go then ou shouldnt and they should love you enough to be understanding
Good luck hun ------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow">  Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 3:25pm
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I think that since you've said you're wanting to make a stand this time, then you might feel great for doing just that. Good luck! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 27 May 2008 at 3:47pm
I've got to agree with everyone else. Make a stand sooner rather than later. It may take time but eventually they get used to the new no bull s*#t you. Great that your DH sounds supportive for you in doing this, best of luck 
As for finding out the sex of the baby that's no ones place to comment on whether you do or not. We found out with all of ours and its a surprise the day you do find out, it enables you to be a bit more prepared if that's what you need (I'm a very organised person so need to know what's happening) ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08) 
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Posted By: Henna79
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 10:41am
| Thanks guys, well yesterday I had an email conversation with one sister (she was at work and emailed me first) and told her I am not coming she wasn't to happy and of course moaned to another sister who started texting me that night. I just told them both that it's not my fault I didn't find out until Tues and so I am not coming as I have other plans. I feel much better about doing it today wasnt feeling to good yesterday. |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 10:54am
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Good on you for saying no! they will get over it!
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 1:04pm
well in that case dont get balls, you dont have to be confrontational about it all. just dont go, or lie or make an excuse... or say you will make an effort to go and then just ignore the whole thing... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Henna79 wrote:Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 3:19pm
Good on you Heather  ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08)
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 28 May 2008 at 4:05pm
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Yay! Good on you for saying NO!
Dont let other tell you what to do!! EVER!!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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