what would you do?
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Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=1777
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Topic: what would you do?
Posted By: Bizzy
Subject: what would you do?
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 10:00am
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heres the scenario...
in mcdonalds having breakfast as a treat before doing the groceries, and in walks a lady carrying her very little baby. the baby looked only to be a couple of weeks old and wasnt swaddled just wearing a lttle outfit. the lady sat outside and there was a small breeze blowing. the blanket was on the table and the baby was crying. it looked like thery were there to show off their baby to some friends who turned up with flowers and they they held the baby, who was still crying (not screaming mind you.) so here the thing, i went over there to fetch my 2 yr old who was wandering around and asked how old the baby was and got told 3 weeks tomorrow, i then suggested that maybe it was cold... should i have minded my own business? i didnt think that mcd's was an appropriate place for a new born (what with all those yucky germs)but kept that opinion to myself (oh and my husband.) (have posted this on another board also to get as much feedback as poss.) |
Replies:
Posted By: netballgirl4
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 10:15am
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i would have dont the same thing i dont think mcd's is the rite place to bring a new born ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 10:44am
I think you were right in suggesting the blanket, but (even though I hate McDs and rarely ever go there) I don't think it is any worse than taking your child shopping or somewhere else, germs are everywhere. We took our daughter when she was 8 days old to a school play, I wonder what you think of that?  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: fairsk8
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 10:56am
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I would of told them that it was cold and maybe baby would like a blanket and not just suggested it was cold. But agree with Meow, no worse than supermarket or anything in regards to germs. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 10:58am
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While I agree that McD's is not the greatest place to bring a newborn baby, had it been me at the very least I would have been indoors and not outdoors, and had the wee thing bundled up to its eyeballs ! You don't take tiny babies out like that *just* to show them off, if someone is desperate to meet them they will either come to you, or you go to them in a place like their own house. ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: netballgirl4
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 11:54am
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do u think she was a first time mum ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: robyn
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 12:32pm
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I agree the baby should have had a blanket etc but I know I would have been devestated if someone had of said that I shouldnt have a baby at Mcds or a stranger telling me what I should do with my baby. The first few weeks are pretty hard for a first timer anyway and you are very conscious of doing things wrong. ------------- KOBE born 19 March 2004 http://www.TickerFactory.com/"> 
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Posted By: fairsk8
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 12:57pm
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Yeah that is so true Robyn. I was so scared of doing something wrong when I had Xanda that I packed up all my stuff on my first night home from hospital and went home to my mum. Stayed there for three weeks and hardly left the house or the farm. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/">
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Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 2:12pm
fairsk8, Ella used to have that same top Xanda is wearing in that photo, "I love Daddy"  She had it in pink though, it was a Christmas present for daddy (well, not really lol) on her first Christmas. I just went through all of her clothes and have to get rid of heaps of them, including that top 
She is growing so much atm!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 3:02pm
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I agree for a first time mum it can be hard - this is coming from me - who hardly left the house, AT ALL. but, i think there is a big difference between well-meaning comments and ones that are nasty.. and Deb - yours seems like it was well meaning and not nasty or unreasonable. Even being the very self-conscious person that i am - receiving a comment like that wouldn't make me angry i don't think - maybe a little miffed that you had pointed out something i had possibly overlooked, but nothing more.
I disagree that most people would go to your house if they wanted to meet baby. sometimes it doesn't matter where you go you just wanna get out of the house and meet anyone ANYWHERE! And how many times have you possibly had just THE CUTEST outfit you wanted to put baby in to show them off, but know that by the time it's the right season, baby will have outgrown it, or whatever. So i can see how, being a new mum possibly - and very proud and eager to show off new baby in the cutest outfit - this mum could have overlooked that it was a little chilly. I would probably have done the same thing as you Deb. Just possibly said how cold it was today, what a cute outfit the baby had, but how lucky she had a blanket with her!! ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 3:16pm
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Janine, what I meant to say that is if people really sincerely wanted to meet your newborn then I'm sure they wouldn't be adverse to dropping by for a visit so as not to put you out - but especially so if you are hesitant about going out places. I can also understand about the cute outfit thing though, I guess what I was trying to highlight was that if it was me in that situation I probably would have been "over prepared" and had bubs bundled up to its eyeballs LOL ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 3:34pm
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mcdees isn't that bad a place, i think supermarkets are probly way dirtier! but i don't think its that bad to say something if you think bubs is cold. like the others said, its all in the way you say it. i burst into tears after going to visit a friend up the road. she was staying with an older lady and the first thing she said was "this baby should have more clothes on!" i'd bundled her up so much cos it was winter, that when we got there she was too warm and i'd stripped her off a bit. she made me feel so incompetent. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 8:29pm
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i see people who wearing jackets and hat ,gloves and there newborn have no hat on pi##s me off i would have said something i live in dunners so its cold here my mum was going to work and its snowing she sees a woman walking around with bubs in a front pack with no gloves on bubs hand and no hat poor wee things siomepeople r idots ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 10:46pm
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I feel the same - i get really angry when you go out and see mums and dads with the big expensive labels, and all that, bundled up - and their kids aren't wrapped up or babies have no hats, jackets, blankies, sometimes not even any socks etc - being very very mindful of the fact also though that once they are a little older than 3 weeks they are little people with minds of their own who often will not want to keep hats on, will think socks are perfectly good to pull off, eat and discard etc... - actually, Ayja is like that alot, and has been since day dot. i remember though when paris was tiny - i went to the bank with mum and the lady working there said to me "you know, you are the first person i have seen today who has a hat on their child" it made me feel great - and also astounded cos it was a shocking cold rainy day! ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 10:53pm
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I'm kinda with Robyn.
I'm sure you advice was very well meaning, and suggesting the blanket was a great idea (tactfully phrased to not be condescending). I personally don't have a problem with taking a newborn to McDs, providing the mother wasn't stuffing fries down the babe's throat. But yeah, she might have been miffed, but more because you were right than anything else! Atleast she might think twice before leaving the house next time? |
Posted By: Kim
Date Posted: 12 March 2006 at 11:20pm
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I was at the hospital having blood tests done on Thursday and the person taking blood told me I was a bad mother because Zac was cold!!! It was around 30 degrees outside and around 20 degrees in the hospital with the a/c on and Zac was not cold. He had a singlet, t-shirt, shorts and socks on and was quite happy smiling at everyone. I was so flabbergasted that I didn't say anything back to her. Then she didn't even put a plaster on properly so I had blood running down my arm.
I think if she had suggested Zac was cold instead of telling me I was a bad mother I would still of been offended. ------------- Zac Mark - 30.11.05 Samara Ailsa - 13.08.07 |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 6:58am
Kim - double ouch ! Unfortunately, housemate situation excluded, I'm not so good at keeping my tongue when people are outright stupid like that - would have said something equally nasty back to her  ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 7:58am
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I wouldnt have said anything to her. If i was her i probably would have been really offended too! But thats just me, she might have appreciated you saying something.
I dont think McDonalds is that bad. Unless the baby was licking the floor or something. Or all the toddlers were coming up and grabbing the baby. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 8:02am
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I probably wouldn't have said anyhing either, i would have just thought it! I am no very good at saying stuff to strangers - especially being a first time mum myself!!
LOL, when Joey was timy I HAD to have mcd's so we bundled him up and sat him on the table there in his capsule (he was asleep) so I could have a burger, how awful that must have looked!!!    ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 11:10am
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yep, alot of the time you DON't WANT to be at home - by the time the 2nd week is over you just want out of those 4 walls and anywhere will do (those 1st timers, who have not yet experienced this... beleive all the mummies when they say this!! you will love your baby, and possibly like being athome too, but will get to the point where even going to the supermarket to do the shopping might be the highlight of your week!!!) lololol ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 11:19am
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I took Maya to the Warehouse and Pak n Save when she was 3 days old (the day we came home from the hospital). It was neccesity not choice - we needed groceries and some bits and pieces for her and there was no one else that could go. My midwife was fair horrified - she told me I should keep her home for at least the first couple of weeks.
I so know what you mean about the housebound thing tho Janine - when Maya was about 4 weeks old it rained for 2 weeks straight and I was stuck inside at home and couldn't go anywhere for fear of her getting wet/sick. I was pretty much climbing up the walls! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 12:31pm
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Oh here is a story for you all! Makes the woman at McD's sound like an angel! I went to a Hot Rod show a couple of weeks ago. It was a nice sunny day but really really windy, and this woman had her baby in just a singlet & nappy. No blanket or anything! I couldn't believe how stupid she was. I went up & offered her a blanket for the little one & instead she handed over her baby & buggered off to go buy food. Then she came back an hour later! I was so horrified. I didn't even know her & she just left me with her baby. Who does that??? At least her baby was nice & warm when I handed him back. I gave her my blanket too because I wasn't sure if she had any other gear. ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: lenabeanz
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 2:07pm
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I would've gone and rung some foster parents or something!! (ok I don't know the kids background) - but who would do that?!
------------- http://www.snugglepie.com"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 2:48pm
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OMG She left her baby with a stranger??????? Who does that?!?!?!?!?
And what about a sunhat? i hope the babe didn't get sunburnt! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 3:01pm
OMG!!  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 3:24pm
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OMG thats terrible, makes you wonder about her mental state ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 3:26pm
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omgodddddddd u should have rung the cops poor child ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 3:55pm
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That is appalling...
When Jake was a few weeks old, I had been at the supermarket, and left him in his capsule, sitting in the trolly to unlock the car to put him in. This awful lady came up and told me off because the sun was in his eyes. She probably meant well, but I took it the wrong way and burst into tears. Very hard not to take helpful suggestions to heart when you are a new mum... Also, I don't think Maccas is THAT bad, I can think of worse places that I have sen new bubbas. Just my opinion, though, and can I just say good on you for saying what you think. Often there is no one to stand up for por helpless little bubbas. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: netballgirl4
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 3:57pm
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omg who does that ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 4:17pm
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OMG who could leave thier baby with a stranger like that?
BTW....are you really not meant to go out for the first few weeks? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 4:58pm
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Well I'm glad I'm not the only one who seems horrified by leaving a baby with a stranger! I don't know what that woman was thinking! I mean what if I had been some freaky person who ran off with their baby??? Not that I would but still. And she was well & truly gone, it wasn't like she was just over somewhere still in eyesight because my fiancee Spencer went looking for her & couldn't find her.
Lol Paws! It's not so much that your not supposed to go out, its just a bit daunting. I remember having to go grocery shopping by myself the day after I got home from hospital.....Man what a mission! I breastfed Alex in the car before heading into the supermarket, then I had Alex in my arms, his baby bag on my back and it took me ages to get the blanket just right to put Alex on the baby seat on the trolley. Then I had to quickly whip around the supermarket & then afterwards had to breastfeed in the car before heading home. I was absolutely shattered by the time I got home & got all the groceries put away, then I still had to do dinner ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 5:13pm
| thanks guys. i guess i am just one of those people who think newborns should stay at home and be cuddled and get lots of attention and learn about sleeping somewhere other than mums tum, cause it must be traumatic being born. i mean they dont have good imunity yet and they cant regulate their own temps - so what harm can it do in staying home and laxing out for a couple of weeks. then again if i had to take him out i think a capsule would be preferable. |
Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 5:28pm
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I'm with you, I'd much prefer to stay at home when they are still newborn. Everything is there, all the baby stuff, clothes, blankets, spit up clothes, couch to sit on, tv with remote, drinks & food in the fridge...... ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 6:02pm
| yep - i cant see the point in feeding my child while out shopping either. what is so important that it cant wait, i cant imagine (if i was a baby that is ) that being joggled around while try to suckle would be that easy too. toniellis that sucks having to go shopping the day after your bub comes home... i gues i was really lucky that my hubby stayed home and did lots for me and didnt expect dinners or anything for the first week and still doesnt expect me to be super mom and do it all... |
Posted By: robyn
Date Posted: 13 March 2006 at 8:46pm
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We were told to keep Kobe home for a couple of weeks but that was just because he was prem and my sister whos baby was prem was told the same, they still arent ready to fight infection. As long as people arent leaning all over baby, touching and breathing on them then I dont see any problem with going out if you want to and besides, think of all the germs and bugs that are in hospitals or the doctors with your baby! ------------- KOBE born 19 March 2004 http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
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Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 14 March 2006 at 11:42am
Yeah I thought it sucked too having to go grocery shopping straight away, especially since I was still abit sore from my C-section! And sitting in the carpark feeding a baby is definitely NOT fun. Unfortunately thats what happens when the other half works 14 hour days. Thank god this time around he has a different boss!!! So I can quite happily sit at home while my man runs around doing everything  ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 14 March 2006 at 1:10pm
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we went grocery shopping as well when paris was 3 days old - the day that i left the hospital. and you do get a lot of people coming and doting and BREATHING all over baby! that's what i found great about our buggy the second time around - was that all people would see was paris - it wasn't till they possibly looked back behind the buggy that they would go "oh my god there's a baby in there!" most people never even knew unless she cried. another plus side to having a phil and teds double buggy... lol.
however, with the shopping thing - i found the front pack was wonderful for going shopping - cos those trolley seats aren't great for babies anyway, too hard even with a blanket in them and they slouch down in them. we would put ayja in the front pack, she would fall asleep and i would still have hands free - which was important cos even with mike there - since we had paris int he trolley we always needed an extra set of hands. i think in the first few weeks - it can be daunting, and some may prefer home, others can't stand it - it's basically up to you, but at least have a few outings even if it is just to peoples houses or something, or maybe to a coffee shop to have a catch up with someone, because th elonger you leave it, the harder it gets to go out. definately - if hubby has time off after you have baby, try getting into the swing of things during that time. Just by figuring out together what you need to take and how to get ready in less that the 2 hours that it can take the first few times, once he goes back to work - you at least aren't tackling that for the first time, even though you'll be by yourself, you'll hae done it a few times before so it shouldn't be as mush of a catastrophe! ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: fairsk8
Date Posted: 14 March 2006 at 1:26pm
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I had to go to chemist and fill prescription and go do groceries when I got out of hospital, Xanda was 5 days old. I left him in his capsule and put the capsule in the trolley adn just tried to fit the groceries around it. Also put a cloth nappy over the whole capsule so that ppl could not look in and breathe all over him. But it was a mission and a half and boy was I glad to get home. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/">
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Posted By: Roxy
Date Posted: 15 March 2006 at 10:31am
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Hey what did you say to the lady when she finally came back for her baby???????That is so terrible......The lady in mcdonalds I would have tried tactfully talking to her bout bubs or something then perhaps mentioning how it getting a bit chilly...would have tried not to make her feel bad......And lady at hosp that did bloodtests..it woulda taken all my willpower not to slap her but I would have deffinetly given her a piece of my mind....how bloody rude!!!!! ------------- Caleb 15/11/02 Brooke 14/11/05 |