Ugh Stretchmarks & Saggy Skin
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Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=18124
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Topic: Ugh Stretchmarks & Saggy Skin
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Subject: Ugh Stretchmarks & Saggy Skin
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 9:48pm
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I REALLY HATE my post baby body. It's depressing to look at in the mirror. Sure I'm not a big girl, but I have MAJOR overhang and very very deep stretch marks and scars all over. I still have the wrinkled prune thing going on, the more weight I lose the more excess skin I have. My parents are even grossed out by it.
I need to marry a plastic surgeon - AND QUICK! Maybe I should scare you all off and take a photo 
I think I'm partly to blame, I had an excruciatingly itchy stomach throughout my pregnancy, and despite being told not to itch it, I did just that! I itched away to my hearts content, no stretch marks showed up until 36 weeks and from there it was all downhill. I even get a really itchy stomach nowadays, and the stretch marks have gotten deeper as my stomach has gotten smaller. They don't look half as bad on my bloated days. Maybe the key is to not lose weight. *sigh* Any other mummies here have body hang ups? Or am I the only one? Any recommendations for tightening these areas and helping lessen the appearance of saggy wrinkly skin on tummy? Anything other than Bio Oil I could use on the stretch marks? Rant Over, I'm just sick of my parents saying 'Eww gross, put it away. No mans ever going to want you' ....saddest part is that I agree with them. I can't even bare to look at it ------------- Single Mum to a darling wee boy of 3 years :) |
Replies:
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 9:52pm
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Sorry but how rude of your parents to say those things. Mine is bad and at the moment I don't care. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 9:54pm
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Yeah I agree with Becks, not good for a girls self esteem! Tell them to shush up.
I don't care anymore, I know I have weight to lose, and I'm going to try, I'm just not going to get to hung up about it. After 3 kids, you kind of have other things to worry about... IYKWIM ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 9:58pm
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Ok, I thought about this a fair bit before I typed this, and even now I'm not too sure what to say.
I haven't had kids yet, BUT I have stretchmarks and saggy skin as a result of yo-yo weight gain and loss. I don't particularly like ALL of my body, but you know what? My DF does, and because he does, it makes me feel good. So anyone who is judging you JUST on that, is not worth wasting your time on, IMO. My DF loves me for all of me, not just what I look like naked - because there is so much more to me than my skin. The same will apply to you - from what I hav seen on here, you are a bubbly, friendly, loving person who is a fantastic mother to your boy and THAT is what you should be focussing on. The exterior is only a small part of who you are. As for your parents, sorry but that is so rude and harsh. Talk about a boost to your self esteem. Roll on the day you're able to move I think, because that attitude is not healthy. I don't know if this has been much help, but I just wanted to say SOMETHING, because your post hit a part of me deep inside - I used to be like you. Now I focus on my positives and I'm a lot happier for it. Huge  to you, because you seem like a wonderful woman.
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 10:02pm
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Yeah I think it is rude of them to say that, but we are really open and honest around here. I give as good as I get - trust me!
I haven't cared up until now. It's not a huge issue tbh, Lucas is far more important and worth every scar I have on my body, I stick by that. I'm not trying to impress anyone etc etc, but since I've lost a bit of weight it's gotten really bad ...can see it through loose fitting clothes even. I wonder if I do crunches and work on my mid section, if maybe it will stretch the skin and make it look a lil better  ------------- Single Mum to a darling wee boy of 3 years :) |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 10:04pm
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Nearly 2 years since my boy was born and I'm still really self conscious of my tummy. I hate DH having to see it and I hate when he touches it, I just feel that it is so repulsive looking no matter what he says to reassure me.
I've been working quite hard recently to lose the extra weight and nothing has worked on the overhang or tightened up the crinkly, post-stretchmark skin around my tummy button. The stretchmarks have shrunk and faded a lot and I have hope that they will keep shrinking and fading over time, I just wish the flabby muffin-top would go away! My weight is dropping but the flab remains there, its just not fair 
Of course our kids are worth is a million times over, its just so depressing that I never appreciated my body before it was stretched beyond its limits! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 10:04pm
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I don't know if you can tighten skin up like that?? I could be wrong and someone will correct me. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 10:08pm
 I can't believe they say that to you
I know I'm coming to terms with my new body, and it's not easy. I too have body hangups, you're not alone. And I'm blessed I have a wonderful DH trying to combat all my negative feelings (much like what minik8e was saying). Anyway I'm sorry I don't really have anything constructive to say.... but..... I'm sure most women feel the same way. I just think it's so insensitive what your parents said and I know how much worse I'd feel if someone said that to me so big hugs My MIL calls stretch marks somethings nice but I can't remember what the phrase is.... but I try to think about it as, well if it was between not having stretch marks and not having Harry, or having stretch marks and having Harry, I certainly know what I'd choose! So I'm trying to wear them with pride... oh that's what it is MIL says, stretch marks are a mummy badge  ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 10:09pm
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Thank you for your msg Minik8e, I feel like crying now. That was so sweet and very well worded.
It will take one hell of a man to stick by me and persevere a relationship, Lucas comes first and always will, nothing can change that. Nor would I ever let a guy try to change me. My body issue is more of a self confidence thing. ------------- Single Mum to a darling wee boy of 3 years :) |
Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 10:09pm
My MIL lost a whole heap of weight and had to have an operation to remove the excess skin. Sorry Steph, I know it's not what you wanted to hear ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow">
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mummy_becks wrote:Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 10:09pm
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Nicely said Liz and slightly OTT OMG When did Harry turn 4mths!!! Gosh that's gone quickly.
Right as you were. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 10:10pm
I know, and flip now he's nearly 5 months!! We took him to the playground today, I can't believe how old he is.
Yes, as you were. ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 10:14pm
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Yeah Liz there is some phrase a friend of mine once used to describe stretch marks ...can't quite recall it but it was a nice way to justify them.
I'd have Lucas over my pre-pregnancy body any day. As Mel said above, I never really got to appreciate it prior to Lucas ...it always fluctuated & I had eating issues but I know my tummy wasn't half as grotesque to look at in comparison to now! ------------- Single Mum to a darling wee boy of 3 years :) |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 10:14pm
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Yeah i did think surgery was the only way to get rid of it. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 10:18pm
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Yeah you know I used to always read those Woman's magazines with the 'Real-Life reads' and woman would be complaining about their bodies etc, I remember seeing photos of excess stomach skin etc etc, botched surgeries ...etc my stomach used to churn at the thought. And now I am experiencing that. NOOOOOOOO
Much the same as my birth going the opposite to how I wanted. The idea of stitches, tearing ...injections, assisted birth, drugs ETC I was very against. I ended up having a ventouse birth, internal & external tearing/stitches ...an episiotomy to the side, pethidine...I couldn't walk properly for ages after & took me a week to poop I was so scared to go toilet. This is why I'm never having sex again  ...unlike some women I learnt my lesson the first time. Legs crossed  ------------- Single Mum to a darling wee boy of 3 years :) |
Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 10:19pm
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I so know what you mean Steph. I can't believe it when I look at photos of when I was 14 and I thought I was fat I was a stick back then. You don't know what you've got til it's gone huh. ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 10:27pm
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So so true, I blame it all on peer pressure! I hated high school and my teen years, I had body dismorphia and spent the majority of those years obsessing over a weight problem that wasn't even there. I was TINY! Was all in my head. ------------- Single Mum to a darling wee boy of 3 years :) |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 10 June 2008 at 11:56pm
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So true , too bad we cant go back in time and tell our teenage low self esteem selves how beautiful we really are.
Im going to mention my late friend again , and i apologise because im sure i mention her wayyyy too much . BUT , i know she always cared about her body and had pretty low selfesteem when she was at highschool, and according to our mutual friend she wasnt too happy after she had her baby with her post baby body .....BUT i know she would have much rather had her body whatever size and have seen her daughter turn at least a year old, than not at all-so what im trying to say is , whatever body we got , as long as its healthy , at least we got one .... and if we have a "low " day (and i get them too, im not immune) then i say its a good excuse for chocolate  (as if you need one ! )
besides i've met you irl Steph , your gorgeous, if i was "that way inclined " id totally have a crush on you ...baby ...hehe Oh annnnnnddd before i forget, i've known girls who are toned and tanned....and miserable ..... |
Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 6:18am
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I hated being too skinny before I had Seb... and now I'm only 3 sizes larger, and I hate being too big! (was sz8, now sz14 at 5"9) I don't seem to be able to lose or gain weight now, so it's a bit irrelevant to the loose skin, but body image is a stupid thing. -------------  
 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 6:34am
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Sorry Steph but I've asked my friends and family (ranging in age from 30-65) and they tell me though the stretch marks will fade to a silvery hue the texture and elasticity of the skin will never return
Don't feel bad about the way your waist looks. Your body was the amazing wonderful vessel that contained, nourished and grew your gorgeous son. Any man who doesn't like it isn't worth your time.
This is why women throughout the world and throughut history have started wearing "mature" styles after having kids. It's not because we're older and wiser, it's simply to hide the way our bodies were ravaged by pregnancy.
Now is a good time to start watching Trinny and Suzannah or see a style consultant and find out the best way to work with what you've got. Pre-michaela many of my tops were short (not cropped though) and in the weekends there was often a line of tanned, toned skin showing between the top of my hipster trousers and the bottom of my t-shirts. Now I only buy tops that reach my hips because the silhouette is nicer (but i don't buy baggy, even though it hides all bulges, because that makes me look like a tent with legs)
-------------  
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 9:07am
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Awww not what i wanted to hear. I always had hope it would go away. But infact it wont. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 9:43am
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Right. I didn't read the replies but wanted to direct you to a fabulous website if you haven't already been there:
http://theshapeofamother.com/home.php - The Shape of a Mother Frick. I had something else to say but I can't remember! |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 11:00am
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I'm not sure why, but I find that website makes me even more depressed about it!
I think half my problem is that I got off virtually stretch-mark and sag free when I had Ella. I just had one tiny mark where my belly piercing was and I was back in my regular clothes almost straight away. Then when I had Benjy, surprise! My tummy popped out at 2 months and just kept on stretching. I so wasn't expecting that! Anyway, obsessing about the ugliness certainly isn't helping me. I'll just keep on hoping that time and exercise will help (despite all the advice to the contrary, lol!) ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 11:33am
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Oh, sorry! I didn't realise!
I love the website because it makes me realise there are people around the world with all sorts of body shapes and there is something much more important that has come about after our bodies have changed so much - that we all have kiddliwinkos. I'll take the link down if ya want. |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 12:00pm
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Lol the photos on that page make me feel a wee bit better ....although my stretch marks/saggy skin is much the same if not worse. Maybe I should join the photo weigh loss thread on here, and 'share my journey' of healthy eating and exercising in the attempt to TRY and tighten up that area.
Sorry for starting this post Was totally on a downer last night.
I look at Lucas and I can safely say I'd much rather have him any day over a 'perfect' body. What is perfect anyway? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as they say! So as of now, I'm going to try and eat healthier ....cut out all the crap food (after I finish my pack of bikkies here  ) ...I had a really good breakfast so I don't feel so guilty about that. Going to do lots of crunchies, and walk regularly with the pram (weather permitting) ....and I'll try the darned bio oil again. Although I honestly think it doesn't do jack. But I'll stay positive ------------- Single Mum to a darling wee boy of 3 years :) |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 12:25pm
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Big hugs to you
i went through this when my daughter was born 5 years ago. my entire stomach was covered in deep red stretchmarks and i looked about 4 months pregnant for a long time. when she was about 18 months old i decided i needed to lose weight and give myself some confidence. i managed to lose 30kgs, but never managed to lose my excess skin around my tummy. it wasnt until my pregnancy this time around that i finally came to terms with my saggy tummy and silvery stretchmarks. i now call them my "mummy" marks 
My DH doesnt mind them and im not about to go flaunting my tummy around on the beach anytime soon (anyway, theres only about 8 weeks in the year that you can wear a bikini!) its just no big deal to me anymore. ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 12:46pm
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First off, I want to slap your parents! Even if you guys are up front about that sort of stuff, waaaaay uncool! My Dad is the same, he's always railing on one or other of us about our weight. Sucks to him!
I don't actually feel too bad about my stretchmarks, mainly coz I've had them since puberty. I have major issues with my weight and the fact that I'm 30kg heavier than I was pre-gremlins, but then I have done the major weight loss thing in the past so I know I can get it off, it just sucks being pregnant. As soon as this baby is out I am getting this weight off. Believe it or not tho I actually felt kinda special when I looked in the mirror the other day and saw two new stretchmarks. So far this pregnancy only the old ones have flared up, so I was kinda pleased that Chiara gets to have her own special ones. Crazy I know! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 12:47pm
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PS. Pre gremlins I lost 35 kg and never had the saggy skin even tho I'd had a Maya, but I suspect things are now sooo stretched that even when I get the weight off I'll still have the sag. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 2:23pm
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Don't take it down Nikki!
I didn't mean to make you feel bad, sorry! I'm just a doofus, I'm sure most people on here appreciate the site for what it is and find it comforting. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 2:34pm
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Aww hugs. Not nice for your parents to say that.
Excercise and toning the muscles underneath can certainly help a lot but whether or not that is a total fix depends on the person, genetics, the amount of skin etc. The one thing that exercise WILL do is to make you feel better about your body because you know it is strong and healthy + it releases feel-good hormones too. So exercise is definately a win-win thing. As for a man finding you attractive...they will (and probably do!). Men are not as shallow as we think. Just to add something into the mix - I don't have stretch mark or saggy skin on my tummy from pregnancy (I do have both on my thighs since my teenage years...buh...genetics) but I have aweful body image issues. I have friends 4 times my size who are happier about their bodies. Men find confidence attractive and love the imperfections we hate. So it is something that many of us struggle with for various reasons - you are not alone. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |