What would you do?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=18135
Printed Date: 14 October 2025 at 11:49am
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Topic: What would you do?
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Subject: What would you do?
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:04pm
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Replies:
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:06pm
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OK so my parents booked a trip to Portugal AFTER they found out the gremlins were coming for right around the time they were born, so I totally feel your pain!
Sucky, and I will *never* get over it! (Mum thinks I am a drama queen) -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:06pm
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OMG that is awful... :( I would be sooo mad! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:07pm
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I'm confused though why wouldn't she want to be there..how selfish and b^&%&y of her! not a true friend:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:11pm
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Well, i guess you know where her alliances lie...
If she chooses to go overseas knowing full well that you are getting married.. OK, unless its like THE biggest band ever and its a one off show that they will never repeat.. If that is not that case and she's just going cos she can?? Then thats not cool at all! ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6"> 
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:12pm
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Sounds to me like her priorities have changed, and she feels the concert is more important to her than her best friends wedding.
If that's the case, call her bluff. Tell her to go to the concert and you'll find someone else to replace her. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:27pm
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I had a similar situation and my bestie at the time ended up not being a bridesmaid. I could tell she wasn't that into it so I sat her down and asked her. Yep, it stung a bit but in the end, at least she wasn't forced to do something she didn't want to and I could replace her.
Do you think maybe she is jelly? Or do you just think she is that kind of person? IMO I wouldn't have her as a bridesmaid. She doesn't sound worthy of sharing your special day in that way. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:34pm
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How rude. I wouldn't want her in my bridal party if she is going to be like that, ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:36pm
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How rude.. I'd be so angry if a friend was as selfish as this..
Like Becks said, I wouldn't want her in my bridal party if she acted like this  -------------  
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:47pm
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:48pm
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if a 'friend' of mine did that, i'd tell her that's fine, i'll get someone else and don't bother with her at all.
a wedding is a one-off special time, concerts are happening all the time ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:50pm
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Maybe not the same situation, but my this happened to my DH at OUR wedding last year, only his best friend decided he couldnt be best man because his pregnant partner was not included in the bridal party (he had only just met her, and she had him wrapped around her little finger!)
he didnt like the idea of her sitting at a table without him (she was lucky to be invited at ALL!) to top it all off his "withdrawal" from best man duties was sent via email and just weeks before our wedding. DH had no shame in letting him know how he felt! they arent friends anymore because of it. in my opinion, EVEN if she was asked to be bridesmaid AFTER she knew about the band thing, she should still be at your wedding. Thats what best friends do. i cant imagine why anyone would choose a stupid band over a friend! in fact i find it so frustrating when friends do things like this to each other. If this was me, i would wait until the next time i spoke with her.. then when the concert is brought up again i would say "oh, you are actually SERIOUS?! i thought that was all a big joke, i didnt seriously think you would go to a concert instead of my wedding". ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:51pm
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 1:53pm
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Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 2:24pm
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h,mmmm that is just really horrible ------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow">  Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 2:32pm
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That does suck..
But... and I'm not taking her side at all, as I would be steamed as well... She is clearly at a different life stage to you. I would just cut her loose. She obvously dosen't get how important the wedding is to you, and dosen't get why you don't understand why this concert isn't that important to you. Different life stage, different priorities. You will maybe reconnect when she catches up life stage wise. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: ohanlon82
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 2:44pm
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sounds like she is totally jealous.. got a friend like that and she always turns the stuff back on her..
sounds like you could have made your mind up.. not worth having the stress for your wedding... imagine what she will be like leading up to the wedding.... i would tell her you are going to ask someone that will be in the country  ------------- http://lb2f.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/RPaODBg.jpg |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 2:48pm
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Well, this sounds for the week for crappy treatment by friends doesn't it??
I agree with cutting her loose to be honest, it sounds like you really have drifted apart and she has made it clear where her priorities are. *big hugs*. These things suck! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 3:03pm
Yeah I'd say she's jealous. I think you're better off without her TBH but I think you're right, wait until you're settled with Caden before you worry about confronting her.
 -------------  
 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 3:07pm
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 4:37pm
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Sheena I have lost contact with a few friends as we are at different stages of live and we are the same age. Don't worry yourself too much (althou might help bring Caden out ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: gypsynita
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 4:38pm
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that totally sucks -- something similar happened to us...
we asked DH's best friend to be one of my bridesmaids, she agreed then told us she was going on her OE but would come back for the wedding. she booked her tickets through me but refused to get a return ticket (even though our wedding was in january - like peak time to fly) and then we got an email from her a month before the wedding saying she wasnt coming home for the wedding cause her boyfriend might break up with her if she did!!! i understand people have different priorities, but really! If he's that fickle that he can't handle being in a different country for a week then he's really not worth it is he? this same chick actually missed her own sister's wedding two months later for the same reason... moral of the story - not really friends anymore cause you totally don't need that in your life!! friendships are supposed to be give AND take, can't just take the bits you want and ditch them the rest of the time. my advice would be get yourself a new bridesmaid - i did and it couldn't have been better ------------- Anita Mum to Cian (Aug 08), Josh (Jun 10) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 4:41pm
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Maybe you've outgrown each other, like you said you're about to become a mum and she's still doing the single thing.
It's ok to move on, someone will come along to "replace" her. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3)
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 6:14pm
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yeah sounds like you've probably got from each other all you needed to when the friendship was strong (that whole, reason , season or a life time thing)
Imo being asked to be a bridesmaid is a big honour, i guess its just not as big an honour to her, it is very sad really ,but thats what happens with friendships sometimes i guess |
Posted By: blondie
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 8:09pm
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Thats terribile I had something like this happen but it was my own sister the night before my wedding she phoned to say she didn't want to be a bridesmaid anymore (she was so jealous as im the younger sister)On my wedding day she was there as a bridesmaid but was a sour face all day even in the photos and ever since my wedding day we have not been that close so kinda sad I think people who try to be a pain at or about weddings are a pain in the A*se.
I do hope you get it sorted before your wedding. ------------- 
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 11 June 2008 at 8:35pm
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I think you should message her back (or talk to her if you're brave enough) and just ask her to let you know definitely if she will be available to be your bridesmaid or not- because if shes not going to be there then you need to find a replacement. Its a perfectly reasonable request. Like the other have said, when you settle down, get married, have kids etc you often lose touch with friends at different life stages. I have some friends that have lasted the distance but have lost touch with others.
I think she may be jealous and is trying to disrupt things for you and stress you out. Asking her straight out will call her bluff and you can move on from there. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 8:25am
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 10:42am
Do it now and Caden might finally grace you with his appearance  
Im a very tempered person and if someone did that to me i would go kung foo on them! 
At my wedding my sister (who is also jelous and an unhappy so and so) walked around my wedding with a grumpy look shooting nasty comments at people which i tried to defuse but them the minute we said I DO - her , her partner (who was DHs bestman) and son (who was paige boy with Bay) went and got changed out of wedding attire BEFORE the photos! so i asked her to get changed back for photos and she snarked "nah its too fu**ing hot"!!! well!....i screamed at the top of my lungs in front of everyone and she finally went with her men and got changed.......she sulked all night and "I" had to say Sorry! Biarch!!
sorry that was kinda off the topic! lol |
CadensMum wrote:Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 1:59pm
 Urghh that would make me go kung fu aswell!!! I would refuse to say sorry lol.------------- |