This is SO not right! Ranty vent....
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Topic: This is SO not right! Ranty vent....
Posted By: Jay_R
Subject: This is SO not right! Ranty vent....
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 11:28am
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Yesterday afternoon I was running a couple of errands on my way home, and just down from where I'd parked my car were three men who were standing at a table with a big sign. They were trying to get people to sign a petition to get the government to change the anti-smacking laws back to parents being able to use 'reasonable force".
Now, just to make it very clear - I am completely against using violence against children as a means of discipline. Well, violence against children full stop. So because of this, I was just walking past the table, not looking at them at all, when one of the men stepped into my path and asked me would I please sign the petition. I very politely said no, don't think so and tried to keep walking. This man then said well why not? I really didn't want to get in to it, so I just said I wasn't interested. He then proceeded to badger me, trying to get me to explain why I didn't want to sign. Ended up turning into a huge full blown barney! Conversation went something like this: Me: I don't believe we, as adults, have the right to hit children. Him: So you'd rather use hippy techniques like time out (sneer) Me: Yes, I would. Him: Well aren't you marvellous Me: So you smack your kids? Him: Yes. I smack them with love. Me: You love your kids, so you smack them? Gosh, they must feel truly treasured, I always feel a good smack makes me feel very good about myself. Him: You are being very immature. Me: You are being very intimidating. Him: So, why do you think then that we should allow the government to tell us how to raise our kids. Me: Too many of our babies are being killed, we need to stop that. We have to work at the lowest common denominator, which means make it against the law for anyone to smack their children, including those who think they are able to "smack with love" (sneer from me here) I'm sure you get the idea - but basically it just went on and on, him really trying to get me to believe that I was being misguided in my beliefs, and giving me examples of when it was ok to smack your kids, and how to do it etc etc. It actually made me feel sick. So in the end I said to him, you know what, I really want to smack you right now, but if I did I'd be arrested for assault. To me, makes no difference if I hit adult or child, still assault. I then told him he was disgusting, standing there on streetcorner with two other men verbally challenging me for disagreeing with him, and I walked off. I was left feeling very upset, and very angry. So not right, being accousted when walking down the street like that. Grrrrrr de grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 
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Replies:
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 11:34am
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How rude!
And .. I completely agree with you....although I may have just smacked him (with love of course) ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Konagirl
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 11:39am
| That's awful. What an idiot. Totally agree with you and well argued!! |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 11:43am
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OMG how rude of them to do that. The only time I smack Josh and Andrew is when they are going to touch something hot and that is jsut a tap on the palm side of the hand. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 12:05pm
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Grrrr I mean, sure, its obvious he's passionate about his cause, but how unpleasant do you have to be!!! ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6"> 
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 12:07pm
Gah, where do these people get off??
I totally agree with this comment too -------------  
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lilfatty wrote:Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 12:17pm
| You are right almostthere - I can understand people being passionate about a cause (although it makes me shudder that someone would feel THAT strongly about smacking kids), but its just not right to use intimidation like that to try and sway someone to your way of thinking. |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 12:19pm
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That is so rude!!!!!! What an absolute nerve to argue with you like that!!!! Good on for giving him what for though! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 12:21pm
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well argued but poor you.
what a dick! -------------  
 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 1:29pm
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Good grief, what a jerk!
I've smacked Caitlyn in the past if she has been in a dangerous situation she knows better to be in, she hasnt had any long term damage and i dont believe me smacking her makes me a bad mum or anything, hell i was smacked and it didnt do me any long term damage, but i do prefer time out methods before it ever reaches a smacking stage. I am yet to see evidence that the smacking law has reduced child abuse tho, maybe the change will just happen very slowly . But he really needs to change his methods , what a twit |
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 1:31pm
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I hate arses like that. Think they're so awesome and go on and on about stuff.
I was smacked when I was a child (I was a right naughty sod and everything else was tried first before me getting a smack on the hand/bum) and I turned out right - HOWEVER, there is a fine line between using reasonable force/abuse/giving your kid a smack cuz they've been REALLY REALLY naughty and you've tried everything else. I wont get into this debate cuz I'm not in the mood to get shot down, but I do think that retarded people like that need to get off their high horses. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 1:48pm
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Whatever a person's beliefs, it is no one's right to push their beliefs onto someone else - especially not forcefully!
You did good joshierocks! I'm really glad you gave it to him between the eyes!  ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 2:01pm
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Yeah, good on you JoshieRocks! I rarely have the confidence to tell people where to go when they're being pushy and rude like that and I always regret not speaking up afterwards. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 2:21pm
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I normally would be a bit of a fraidy cat - but he got me at a very bad moment. I'd been a bit naughty and been on facebook before I left work and I'd seen a very sad video about a baby girl called Kelsey who was subjected to physical abuse by her stepfather, and who ended up dying after he kicked or punched her so hard in her stomach that her organs basically exploded.
So I was already feeling very upset, and it was sheer bad luck on their part that 1. That man approached me and 2. He decided to goad me. |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 2:33pm
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OMG Clare that is so sad what happened to that little girl ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 2:46pm
Have you seen the video Becks???? OMG, she goes from being the happiest smiliest (sp) little girl, to gradually seeing bruises on her little face and arms, to seeing her eyes lose their sparkle, then her smile disappears.... then she's gone 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 3:08pm
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No I haven't seen it. I think I might cry if I do. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: queenbean
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 3:15pm
I TOTALLY agree with this!! Whatever your view is, is irrelevant. What is the point of a petition if you have to force people to sign it?!! I also hate door knockers, especially ones that drag their young children along .
-------------   
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Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 3:33pm
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OMG i saw that video It was horrific ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6">
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: Shorty
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 4:17pm
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Don't think I want to see the video
I am really pleased you stood up to him, I like Ginger's reply, we have a right to an opinion but we have no right to force it on someone else! |
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 4:24pm
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I would be tempted to ring the local Community Constable and have a chat with them. NO-ONE has the right to force their views onto anyone like that. We are lucky to live in a country were we have freedom of speech and freedom to believe what we want, but it is wrong for someone to intimidate others into thinking the same way as them. Imagine if this idiot had "cornered" someone who wasnt as strong in character as you are, someone who was easily frightened or intimidated.....not on at all.
------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 5:05pm
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What she said! |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 5:13pm
hang on....in america right? ive seen that one! and the father and her mother got sentenced and her real daddy was in the army ? very very sad, there are some really sad vids of childabuse victims on Youtube, like the girl who did the voice of "Ducky" in Land Before Time, and the little girl in "all dogs go to heaven " her dad murdered her when she was 10 .... |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 6:01pm
What she said! Totally inappropriate. |
Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 6:10pm
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I actually considered that. I'm sure people have to register to be on streets with petitions. I'm going to give it a bit more thought.....
And I agree with what you've all said about not pushing your opinions on others like that. I am vehementally opposed to smacking children, but I would never push that on others. Every parent has the right (within reason of course) to bring up their children the way they believe is best. I choose not to smack my child. That is my choice. Thanks for all your support guys. Really appreciated. |
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 6:17pm
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Of course people have the "right" to be on the streets with petitions, but I think that you will find that they are NOT allowed to harrass or bully people into signing them!!! I would call them, just to make them aware of it - basically so that they can keep an eye on these guys if they come back.
------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 6:55pm
What she said! I personally have (and probably will again) given my lot the odd smack on the butt but whatever side of teh debate you are on, it's not fair to try and impose your views on others. Fair enough to ask you to sign the petition, but as soon as you said no he should have let it go. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 7:24pm
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Absolutely. No one should be badgered into signing something that they don't want to! I think he was over-zealous.
As for that debate though, I always thought that they should not have changed the law. However, now that it is changed, I don't think they can (ie should) just change it back because I think that would make things worse - kinda like lowering the drinking age. But I was very disappointed in the "defining" that was brought in. It didn't define anything and was a waste of everyone's time. I would like to see it re-defined but not repealed, and I haven't seen any petitions like that around. ------------- |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 7:25pm
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also might wanna mention it to the store that they have people outside intimidating paying customers.
good on ya btw! |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 9:25pm
Good on you!  Sounds like just the kind of person I would expect to want to hit his kids! 
I had a similar experience in Manners Mall with a guy- not quite as pushy as your guy though! He basically asked me if I thought the government had a right to tell us we can't physically discipline our children and I said yes- I got the good old sneer and "so you're one of those in the minority then". It was quite nice in the end though as a guy sitting across from me leant over and said that him and his friends all agreed with me too ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 11:04pm
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Good on ya. I'm very very sure you need to have a permit from the cvouncil to set up anything in town etc like that? I know I used to rong the coucil ob greenpeace, wspa and this one busker all the time when i worked in town and the lovely community constanoon woul move them on, lol. I asked how come they dfidn't get kicked out more often, the council said not many people realise they are supposed to have permits thus don't complain. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 12 June 2008 at 11:05pm
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lol at the typos was feeding and typing at the same time! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 13 June 2008 at 8:18am
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I'd rather be approached by a greenpeace or wspa or busker than an agressive smacking man though!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 13 June 2008 at 10:15am
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I was thinking exactly that as I read this.
How awful for you to be accosted like that. You did well though, good on you for telling him what's what! Did you call the community constable? -------------  
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 20 June 2008 at 5:20pm
I had the displeasure of running into these people today in Onehunga. They went to approach me and I told them I wasn't interested, I was ready to use the stroller as a weapon and bowl them out of the way  they had a lady with them and while I was waiting to cross the road, she yelled out to something about Corporal Punishment, I just kept walking. I can now see why you would feel so intimidated by those people. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 20 June 2008 at 5:43pm
Stink Mel, sorry you had to experience that 
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