How you were raised, and now
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=18298
Printed Date: 10 October 2025 at 12:56am
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Topic: How you were raised, and now
Posted By: busymum
Subject: How you were raised, and now
Date Posted: 16 June 2008 at 9:07pm
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Coming off from the other thread (under your roof), how do you rate your upbringing vs what you intend to do with your kids?
Let's say the scale is A soft B somewhat soft C somewhat strict D strict My parents were D and I'm aiming for C. -------------  |
Replies:
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 16 June 2008 at 9:16pm
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Our upbringing was between B and C. They were very trusting that the decisions we made would be good ones, but look out if you made a bad one!!
I intend to be the same, I want to be my childrens friend and to be someone they can trust and talk to about anything at all, no matter what the problem/issue is! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 16 June 2008 at 9:20pm
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Our was between B and C depending what parent you got I am aiming for about the same except more consistency between me and Jesse. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 16 June 2008 at 9:26pm
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Mine was between B and C, Mum and Dad *tried* to be strict and they made really sensible decisions, but I was a particularly evil teenager, no one could have reined me in (they still can't!) so they had no chance.
I'd like to think I'll parent the same way my parents did. The one fundamental difference I want to make is to make sure they all have healthy self esteem coz I think it was my poor self esteem and feelings of not being good enough that made me turn evil as a teenager. I agree with the consistency thing too Danni, we struggle with that already in our house. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 16 June 2008 at 9:29pm
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Up until i was 12 id say C but once my dad left if would have been A.
Hmm, i think i want to go for B i think. Maybe C. I dunno. We'll see. Lol. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 16 June 2008 at 10:03pm
Between B and C and I aim to be the same- if I can be half the Mum my Mum was I'll be pretty darn pleased with myself  ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 16 June 2008 at 10:08pm
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I was definitely raised an 'A' but I was a fairly responsible teenager anyway (set my own curfews, rang home when I was going to be out for a while etc. etc.). But I was allowed boys sleeping over in my room and while my parents didn't condone smoking they didn't forbid it either - just said it was a stupid move (and I didn't anyway).
I don't think I'd be quite as soft with out kids though - it does come down to the personality of the child and my sis went a bit off the rails with the 'A' approach. I think we'd probably aim for a C for the key things and a B for the less important ones. -------------  
 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 16 June 2008 at 10:09pm
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I had B & C parents too and I aspire to be like my parents. -------------  
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 7:53am
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Is there one to come before A? My mum was WAYYY to soft, she used to be strict in Oamaru. Really strict. To the point i would have ran away and never came back as it was overboard. Then got way to soft here, i wagged school all the time, smoked and done marijuana at home as a teen and mum didnt care..
DEFINATLY NOT how im raising Kylah ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: Henna79
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 8:14am
| mine was def D!! It's really funny though cos now (with the younger siblings) their upbringing is def pretty close to an A. I guess after 28 years of raising kids you kinda give up a little bit when you get to the next round of teenage years |
Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 8:29am
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Mine was about a C. I'm aiming for C as well, but DP is definitely D in his approach.
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 8:46am
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Um D++ is how I was raised and I'm aiming for an approachable c.
Have to say, the how to deal with teenager thing is a whole lot different and more scary when you actually have one in your house. I always thought I would be soft and let them do pretty much whatever (within reason) they wanted as my folks were way OTT with me, but the reality is alot different when you actually have one. Its quite scary, actually. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 9:34am
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me too, I was raised as D to the extreme. Am aiming between b and c. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 9:47am
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Definitely D and I aim for a C but approachable.
------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 10:02am
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I would say I had between D and C...aiming for a C ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 10:05am
| My parents were probably a B - C. B because they weren't around a lot to implement it (work) but when they were around, a C. DF's parents were probably a C - but in a good way. DF would like us to raise our children the way he was raised which seems to have worked - strict but very supportive. They have a very close family which seems to have more to do with it - if they misbehaved they had to tell Grandma, and Grandma is AWESOME, so to let Grandma down was heartbreaking. My family.....not so close and I would prefer my kids to have a family life like DFs than like mine. |
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 10:07am
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I was raised as a D, DH was raised as a B and we are aiming for between a B + C
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 10:20am
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Raised between and B and C and I am hoping to do the same. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: lucky3rdtime
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 11:24am
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I was a C in the early years but more of a B by teenage years. Dad was stricter than Mum.
I am aiming for B to C with Gabs. We have already discussed backing each other up, which I think is important. I'm not sure on smacking yet. I was smacked as a kid (but not excessively) and I don't think it does any damage but if I could work out a better way to discipline I would. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 11:42am
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My mom I dont know what to say. She had different rules for different kids and just totally wasnt a great mother in my aspect so if I can do better then we are off to a great start.
My dad I will say was a C and I want to be a C. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 12:45pm
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Beyond D and I am hoping for C although DP is going to be difficult and make it B!
------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow">  Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: shaz
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 12:50pm
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Dad was an A and Mum was probably a C.
But the person I really hated to let down was Dad, even though I new nothing bad would happen it was heart breaking to think I had disappointed him. Mum was the boss of our house and although strict in some respects now that I'm older I realise she was pretty fare (just couldn't see it at the time  )
I would like to be a C but more approachable than my Mum was as we really weren't very close. Daddy's girls here. ------------- Mum to Natasha Aroha 9/12/1995, Alexandra Makareta Waimarie 22/4/1998 and....Alyssa Frances Hopaea 18/03/2007 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 7:52pm
I have heard so many D kids talk like that! My parents are also still raising kids but I find it very sad because in a lot of ways they are stricter on the younger kids than us. My theory is that they think us adult kids are too liberal (dye/cut our hair, use contraception, working mum) and they are trying to restrict the younger ones even more to prevent it - to the point where they are trying to limit the contact between 15yo sister and 24yo sister because they think she is a negative influence!  ------------- |
Henna79 wrote:Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 9:35pm
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Mine and DH would be D. I think we will aim for C, there will be definate house rules so to speak. DH and I turned out ok! (even if i did revolt and become a naughty teenager...) -------------   
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 10:38pm
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Raised mainly D. Sometimes C ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 10:44pm
had to quote cause I forgot the letters stands for LOL... My parents I would say were C... I got away with things and could wrap daddy round my finger when i wanted to - BUT when it counted they were strick. I was never allowed to go to a rugby gym disco cause it had alcohol (this is before I was 17).. actually the only time he let me go it was cancelled LOL grrr  I think I was more naive than some of my friends whose parents let them go out at night to things like that and more lax with things.
I would say I am a C with my kids. But once again would put my foot down when it counted. I have a feeling I will be more of a D with brooke than josh. If her gwen photos are anythign to go by (see photo gallery) ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 10:47pm
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Teresa after the weekend that has just been I have heard some of the things your parents are doing or trying to do. To me it is a bit strange, but that is just me. I can tell you more if you like. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 17 June 2008 at 11:06pm
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Mum was a D+++ (Mormon upbringing) and Dad was more B - C (An Atheist).
Once we got to teenage years (approx 15+ years) both mum and dad laxed out (Dad more so than Mum lol) a bit and went to B - C. I agree with Peachy and want to be friends with my children and have good trusting relationships with them ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 18 June 2008 at 5:37am
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Very much D!!!! We would be aiming for between B and C. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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