Single Parents
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=185
Printed Date: 07 October 2025 at 2:18am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Single Parents
Posted By: Donna.I
Subject: Single Parents
Date Posted: 16 November 2003 at 11:47am
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The Single Woman's
Prayer Now I lay me down to sleep. Please don't send me no more creeps. Please just send me one good man, One without a wedding band. One good man who's sweet as pie. Who brushed his teeth and doesn't lie. Who dresses neat and doesn't smell, And act like he's the man from hell. Man, if I should die before I wake, That would truly take the cake; No matrimony or honeymoon. No fancy reception planned for June. No throwing of the wedding bouquet. Please, God, don't let me go out that way. If I die before I meet Mr. Right I won't go out without a fight. But then again with my luck, He'd probably be just some schmuck. The single life is not that bad I know it's just a passing fad. I won't be blue. I will not frown. Besides, I like my toilet seat down. No more makeup, won't comb my hair. So never mind this stupid prayer. The single life will do just fine. |
Replies:
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 17 November 2003 at 11:10am
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Ha, ha, that's great!!
Surprisingly enough, the kids dad has been behaving himself. Yesterday he spent the whole day with us, bought us lunch, we had a great time, and the girls loved spending time with him. He was sober too  . Times like that remind me of why I fell in love with him in the first place  . If only it would last....... -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: lou
Date Posted: 10 December 2003 at 7:07pm
I've posted a christmas card on line for you all. You can get to it by http://www.nowebpage.com/christmascard - clicking here 
so much for it being a new topic  oh well
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Posted By: Alyoop2
Date Posted: 10 December 2003 at 8:00pm
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Thanks Lou, Sophie is such a cutie!!!
------------- Ali ----------------------------- Sean (17-08-2001) Coeliac - Gluten and Dairy sensitive James (29-12-2003) Gluten and Dairy sensitive |
Posted By: AngieBaby
Date Posted: 11 December 2003 at 9:55am
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What a great card! Sorry it wasn't a new topic - we're still exploring it!
Merry Christmas! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 11 December 2003 at 11:06am
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Merry Xmas Lou (and all) ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: melz
Date Posted: 31 December 2003 at 2:29pm
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Hi,
When do you know that your toddler is ready to stop having naps? Miss Angelina still has one nap a day and needs but after her nap she has so much energy that she doesn't go to sleep til about 9pm which is just a wee bit to late after a full on day. Any suggestions? |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 31 December 2003 at 6:11pm
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Maybe wake her a little earlier so she doesn't sleep so long, or make the sleep earlier in the day? ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: hardsell
Date Posted: 06 January 2004 at 6:15pm
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Finn has just gone four weeks old and has colic - poor wee bugger has been screaming his lungs out and it's really disrupted his sleep patterns.
What works? Have tried Gripe Water, Infant Mylanta, Welleda Colic Powder...it's driving my wife nuts! At the moment I have him in a Kapoochie sling thing which seems to be doing the trick (touch wood) Do we just have to grin and bear it out for the next few eeks? Cheers |
Posted By: Devils_Angel
Date Posted: 07 January 2004 at 1:57am
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I'm trying to work out what formula is best for my baby and I was wondering if anyone has a tin of SMA and S26 so that they could tell mef there are any web addresses on there or an e-mail so I can ask them about there products.
I've found contacts for nurture and karicare already.  ------------- It is dangerous to confuse children with angels |
Posted By: Devils_Angel
Date Posted: 07 January 2004 at 2:01am
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I'm trying to work out what formula is best for my baby and I was wondering if anyone has a tin of SMA and S26 so that they could tell mef there are any web addresses on there or an e-mail so I can ask them about there products.
I've found contacts for nurture and karicare already (for some reason I can't get my own topic??? It keeps puttin git in weird places... fingers crossed it doesn't happen again or if it does I'm sorry ------------- It is dangerous to confuse children with angels |
Posted By: lou
Date Posted: 07 January 2004 at 9:53am
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Hi Devils_Angel. Havn't seen you on here in ages. How are things are going? Sorry can't help on the formula thing as breast feeding. Have you tried doing a search on Google?
All the best on your search for infomation
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Posted By: Devils_Angel
Date Posted: 07 January 2004 at 10:30am
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Hi lou, yea I've not had any time since I've had bubs on the 5th of Dec.
I got really sick with toxemia and the internet was the last thing I ever thought of. Bubs was fine though and still is doing fine. I've created a website for him: http://www.angelfire.com/ultra/baby5 ------------- It is dangerous to confuse children with angels |
Posted By: lou
Date Posted: 07 January 2004 at 10:50am
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I've just had a look - very cool, Brae looks very cute
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Posted By: lou
Date Posted: 07 January 2004 at 11:03am
My Girl is 7 months and over the last few weeks she has started waking up to 5 times a night to feed when she used to only wake 1-2 times. I tried feeding her just before I went to bed to help her to sleep longer, this worked for a couple of nights, but now she is waking about an hour after I put her down as well. I have also noticed the last couple for days she is not wanting to feed as much during the day. I don't want to not feed her at night when she is hungery, but I can't last much longer doing 2 hourly over night I used to wrap her which helped her to sleep, but now she just wriggles out of it.
Any suggestions? 
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Posted By: midkemia
Date Posted: 14 January 2004 at 3:18pm
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Hello,
I'm a first time dad, my little fella's just about 6 months now. Having a few problems with night time sleeping. I've read a few books (or parts of books), some which suggest having a "family bed" as in the little guy sleeps with us. Other books which explain the "leave for 10 minutes" meathed. We have sort of done both (which I know is not a good idea ... but at 1 in the morning you start to try just about anything). For the first 4 months he was a perfect sleeper during the night (would still get up to feed about twice a night but would go straight back to sleep). I think the heat has something to do with it and were quite sure he is teathing now. Would welcome any suggestions or ideas to help. Must admit, I'm a bit of a softy and find the 10 minutes of screaming very hard ... I try to go back in after 5-10 minutes and reasure him that were still here and see him when he wakes up .... but all I want to do is hold him .
This means that my wife has to go in most of the time. Comments and suggestion most welcome !! Regards Wayne
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Posted By: kez
Date Posted: 15 January 2004 at 8:00am
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Hi Wayne,
I am a first time Dad too... Our little one is now 7 months... It is not easy and the screaming can sometimes be hard to deal with... In fact while writing this I have been trying to get our daughter off to sleep... I just want to encourage you to keep trying and working at it... You may find that one thing will work sometimes and not others... You may even find something that works most of the time... It is a case of trial and error... and taking note of what they respond too... I think we too often forget that our littles ones are human... we kind of think of them as something else... (Don't know why?) I think by thinking of our little one as human and as having needs, this makes a big difference... Hope this helps! |
Posted By: Daddy
Date Posted: 15 January 2004 at 11:09am
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Hi I am a first time father with a 4 mth old. I will be minding my daughter for 1 day a week when my wife is back at work. Any other fathers out there with a voice of experience on this?
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 15 January 2004 at 8:17pm
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My little angel (sometimes!) Maya slept thru the night perfectly from 7 weeks, but at 6 months she turned into a night-time monster and woke 2-3 times a night. Plunket told me this is because around 6mths they start deveoping a recall memory ie. they remember that if they cry, someone will come and get them. The only solution to that is letting them cry, which is soooo hard as you know. Plunket line were great, I'm at home by myself with Maya so I would ring them at 1am when she was screaming and tehy would keep me talking until she went to sleep, which took up to an hour and a half. After a week of screaming fits, she eventually got the message and settled herself back to sleep.
Wish I could say it was permanent, but we just came back from Australia yesterday which has unsettled her and she is in her cot objecting at the moment! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: midkemia
Date Posted: 16 January 2004 at 9:03am
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Thanks to everybody with their stories and help.
We've had good sleeps the last few nights, though I would have to say with bringing the little dude (Liam) to bed with us. I'm aware that this goes against some of the ideas that are out there, but it seems to be working for us. Much less stressful for all involved and from what I've read not dangerous at all. I'm not sure what habits we are teaching Liam, from what I've read if we are going to do it this way we had best be prepared for a little one in the bed for a year or two. On a personal note ... feels a lot more natural than trying to get him to sleep screaming, and I quite enjoy being able to watch him go to sleep next to me. One night after about 10-20 minutes of screaming in his cot we brought him to bed. He stopped crying, looked over at me and touched my face, looked back at Mum then settled down and went straight to sleep. It was wonderful. Its been nice being able to catch up on some sleep for a change. Regards Wayne |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 16 January 2004 at 10:46am
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I tried to put Maya in bed with me when she was sick a few months ago, but she just climbs all over me and won't settle, so back in the cot she goes.
Had a mammoth screaming session last night which ended with me giving in and giving her a bottle, followed by another start at 4.30am which I also gave in to. I've put her back in the safety sleep, coz I think the problem is she's banging her head on the side of the cot and waking herself. Hoping for a better night tonight.... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: midkemia
Date Posted: 16 January 2004 at 10:55am
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Hi Emma,
Yes, Liam is not crawling yet ... so I'm not sure what we will do then ... good point, that will be interesting. We've tried to use a safety sleep, but Liam can still twist himself around and get from his back to his tummy .. even when we have it on quite tight (little monkey). Yes, the giving in thing ... use to feel bad about that, but when I have work the next day just getting some sleep is main thought late at night. I could go into another room, but would like to know that everybody got a good nights sleep not just me (then I just feel guilty). How you have a better night tonight. Regards Wayne |
Posted By: AngieBaby
Date Posted: 16 January 2004 at 10:58am
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Hi Wayne
You're lucky winner #1 for our Males on the message baords prize! Thanks so much! Great to see some guys chatting online too! Thanks and have a great day! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 16 January 2004 at 7:51pm
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Maya turns onto her tummy in the safety sleep too, but she's just about out of SIDS risk so I let her stay on her tummy. She's been in a portacot for a month without the safety sleep, as the mattress was too thin and she could pull herself and the safety sleep and the mattress up to stand! Now she's back in her own cot it stops her climbing around and hitting her head on the wooden bars in her sleep. I've found the safety sleep great, as it settles her, but she has been in it since she came home from the hospital. I think it would be hard to introduce one later on. You're right tho, themost important thing is sleep. I woke up this morning feeling like I hadn't even been to bed which is stressful for all concerned! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Alyoop2
Date Posted: 18 January 2004 at 9:11am
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Hi Wayne, Our new son is almost 3 weeks old. He doesn't like sleeping in his cot at night, and we find we can be up to him every hour some nights. We also have tried putting him in bed with us, and find it works a treat - he relaxes so quickly when he is in with us. I am wondering if it is something to do with being near our scent. I too am concerned that we are setting up the pattern for him being in with us for ages. Our first son was in his own room at 10 weeks old, and I would like to think we can achieve that again. I am going to try making Jamie's cot cosier, cooler, have something that smells like 'us' etc until I find out what works for him. ------------- Ali ----------------------------- Sean (17-08-2001) Coeliac - Gluten and Dairy sensitive James (29-12-2003) Gluten and Dairy sensitive |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 18 January 2004 at 3:20pm
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Maya has 'dolly' that she sleeps with. When she was small she used to suck on it, now she reaches out for it as soon as I put her in the cot (she frets when it's in the wash). I think it gives her a sense of familiarity in her cot. Funny baby, when she doesn't want to sleep she throws dolly out the side ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: lou
Date Posted: 18 January 2004 at 5:21pm
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after the first 2 weeks sophie wouldn't sleep in her cot at all, so she spent the days in our arms and the nights in bed with us. By about 7-8 weeks she started sleeping in her cot, and now she sleeps in it almost all the time. Still likes to come in bed with us for an our or two at times.
You just have to go with what works at the time |
Posted By: midkemia
Date Posted: 21 January 2004 at 4:36pm
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Thanks again for all this feedback, I guess its nice to know were not alone in some of the struggles we have.
I've picked up a book called "the no-cry sleep solution: Gentle ways to help your baby sleep through the night". I'm hoping to get something from it. We have had good sleeps lately, but this is still with Liam in our bed at night, whilst I'm happy with the sleeping I'm just nervious about habbit forming and what is best for Liam. I know I have decided that the Crying is not best for any of us, when he does start he normally get worse if we leave him, and to be quite honest I can not handle that. I know that if I was upset I would like somebody to comfort me. He can get to a point where there are tears, hes short of breath .... its not very nice, and something that I don't seem to be able to deal with for someone I love sooooo much. Must say that all this leaves me feeling like a bit of a failure, as most people I talk to (who have kids but are grown up), don't seem to understand. Everywhere you go I hear about the "let them cry" method, and for plenty of people it seems to have worked. Guess I'm just a bit of a softy. We went through 5 hard years of trying to have Liam (he is an IVF baby), I would just prefer to hold him and help him than let him cry. So thanks again to everybody, your stories have helped me feel not so alone with this, I'll advise if I think the book is any good (just got it today). Regards Wayne
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Posted By: lou
Date Posted: 21 January 2004 at 5:02pm
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I've just had a look on the net at the book. It looks good. I've got a couple of books by Dr Sears (author of the forward) and found them really fantatic. I expect this one will be of the same standard as it's endorsed by him.
Have you seen his website? www.drsears.com well worth the look. I like his stuff as he comes from an attachment parenting style rather than the "let them cry" Did you get the book in NZ as it's one I'd be interested in reading it. |
Posted By: midkemia
Date Posted: 22 January 2004 at 7:50am
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Hi Iou,
Yes, so far the book reads great and I had not heard of Dr Sears, but the lady who wrote the book highly recommends him so I will be having a look. I got the book from the Public Library (South). I'm not sure if you can buy it in NZ, but if I like it I might consider getting it from overseas. You could always book the book ... so to speak. It definitely has the type of style that I'm looking for (the attachment parenting), though some of the discussion is a bit emotive for me. I still believe that there are plenty of different ways of getting through the tough time and we all have to find the best way for us. Not a firm believer that there is "only one way to do something", but I'm willing to by pass that if the rest helps !! Regards Wayne |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 22 January 2004 at 10:52am
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Ahhh sleep. Last night was horrible. Alyssa has been sleeping all night since she was six weeks old. But occaisionally she has a horrible night and last night was one of them. I even had to give her a breast feed at about 1am. Man does it make you appreciate your sleep. A friend is bringing me out a safety sleep this afternoon to try on her as i think one of her problems is that she crawls out of her covers and gets cold. She also bangs her head on the side of the cot. Anyway im off to see if i can have a nap now. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: lou
Date Posted: 22 January 2004 at 11:28am
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I've put Sophie in a safty sleep for basically the same reasons, and it seems to have helped a little. I had a pretty good nights sleep last night. Sophie only woke just before 2 and then went though to 6. I am so looking forward to when she starts going right though the night. It's so long since I've had 8 hours straight that I can't remember what it's like. I imaginge when she starts sleeping longer I will still wake as I'm so used to it.
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Posted By: melz
Date Posted: 22 January 2004 at 1:24pm
| Angie slept until 8:45am this morning. Darn shame I left for work at 6am so it was my husband who got the benefit! |
Posted By: midkemia
Date Posted: 23 January 2004 at 9:27am
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Yesterday and last night (and so far today), Liam has not slept much at all.
He is also being very clingy to Helena (my wife) which makes giving her a break very difficult. The last couple of nights have not been very good, its not about sleeping though the night anymore its about actual sleep, most of the time Liam is tired and grumpy, if Mum is out of site for longer that a few minutes then he gets very upset. I've been trying to speed read the book I got out of the library to see if there is anything in it that would help us now, but its mostly about routines which take time, which is good for the future ... but only if we can actually get there. Which at the moment is an unknown. Helena is taking Liam for a walk as that normally gets him to sleep, but only for about 20mins, which is just not enough ... he keeps rubbing his eyes, yawing. Look real tired, but he just will not go to sleep, his temp is OK (we check this all the time), we make sure hes clean, well fed, even if Helena stays with him, he still will not ... does not seem to relax enough. Helena is out her wits end, I feel useless, can't think of what to do and have to go to work (so I also feel guilty as I get a break) so I can't help out as this morning he still will not go to sleep. If anybody has some suggestions ... remedies .. jokes .. anything to help would be great ... Very tired and concerned Daddy W |
Posted By: lou
Date Posted: 23 January 2004 at 10:58am
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I had just written a nice long reply, went to post it and I'd been loged out I shall have to type it all again.
My thought are with you. I'm not sure how old your son is, but have you considered that he may be teething? THis can be quite upseting for some babies affecting their sleep and making them clingy. You could try some bonjela or paracetamol. Also I'd sugest getting his ears checked just incase it's an ear infection or somthing. It's good to check out all the possiblities. THere is normally a reason for a babies changing it's pattern, you just need to work out what it is. Other sugestions... 1. Use a sling or if big enough a backpack. This keeps him close while giving you free arms, making it easier to do things and decreasing stress levels. I speak from experience as for the first two months we had to carry our girl as we could not put her down. Even now I put her in the backpack if she is grizzly and she loves it. 2. Call in the troops. Get someone in the do the washing, cleaning and to prepare meals. By the sounds of things Helena has enough to do looking after herself and Liam without having to worry about the other stuff. It also gives her some company as being at home all day with a tired grumpy baby is no fun, and very mentally draining. 3. When you give her a break make sure you take liam out of ears shot so that helena can get a decient rest. take him for a nice long walk or drive. 4. Plunket family centres offer great support and advice. Helena could book in for a day or two. THey will look after Liam while she rests. I hope this helps some. Let me know if there is anything else I can do. A long shot, but are you in chch? If so I'd be happy to do a meal or pop in for a bit. Hope things improve soon Louise |
Posted By: midkemia
Date Posted: 23 January 2004 at 11:53am
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Thanks for you comments and suggestions Iou.
Yes, I think our little fella is teething, we've used some powder stuff, and some other liquid that is meant to taste like blackcurrant. If these don't seem to help (not that we try both at the same time), then the paracetamol comes out, we have some strawberry flavoured stuff. At this stage this has not helped. But I have had a phone call from Helena saying that the walk helped (she walked slow and read the book whilst walking). It seems (from the book) that we don't have a proper routine, we have a few triggers (like a bath before bed time) but not a exact time to begin or anything else really. Helena said that they are both doing OK now, he had a little sleep, though I could still hear him being upset in the background. Funny enough Helena is going out today to get a backpack thingy, we were given one, sort of a frontpack, which Liam does not like at all ... and is a bit ulkward to wear. Shes also made an appointment with the doctor for today so hopefully that can cross any illness out. Should have said some of these things in previous post, but can't say I was thinking right. Liam is 6 months old by the way. During my holidays (I had three weeks), I was able to take Liam for lots of walks ... we (Liam and I) even went and did the groceries together to give Helena a break ... must admit that I started to feel a lot more confident knowing Liam during that time as I was able to spend plenty of time with him, since being back at work ... I've gone back to relying on Helena to tell me what to do with Liam, as I normally just get to see him about an hour before his bed time and hes starting to get grumpy by then too (but we always have bath time together ... everynight since we brought him home ... plenty of good memories there). Must admit I've been a bit hesitant to contact Plunket, we did try during some of the really hard times ... but I've never got through to that 0800 number even after ringing back for over an hour ... did this about 5 nights in a row before giving up. Also unsure if they will "approve" of the co-sleeping method that we are trying out ... must admit most if not all of the people I work with have given me very strange looks when I've talked about the co-sleeping ... which I don't do anymore, it seems that even though I try to keep an open mind, some people find it hard to. Yes, we do live in Ch-ch, thanks for your offer, I will pass it on to Helena and get back to you, I think just a nice chat with somebody whose gone though the same or simular things. Thanks again for your support, it is much appreciated. Wayne PS – I’ve had my posts disappear a few times (from being logged out, think there must be a time limit that you logged in for before the system logs you out). I paste my post into MS Word first (and do a spell check) so that if it happens can just paste it back again !! - In fact it happened again to this post !!! |
Posted By: lou
Date Posted: 23 January 2004 at 1:21pm
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normally I copy my text before I post my reply but I forgot last time.
Sounds like you are doing everything right. I know what you mean about people not understanding. But whan it comes down to it you need to do what's best for you and your family. I havn't tried the plunet 0800 number, but I have been to one of their family centres a couple of times when I was recovering from being sick and was absolutly exausted. I was a bit aprehensive at first trusting someone else but they were really good. An option to keep there if things get desperate. |
Posted By: Alyoop2
Date Posted: 23 January 2004 at 9:39pm
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When I was at my wits end, I would take Sean to see the doctor - after all, it is free for the littlies. It felt good to be able to rule out things, and just put it down to 'normal behaviour'. Often with Sean, his skin was being irritated, as he is prone to eczema. The warmer nights in summer didn't help at all. We tried various combinations of creams, different types of fabric against his skin, different washing powders, until we found a combination that seemed to work. When Sean was teething, we used TeethMed from Naturo Pharm. It is wonderful! I have to say - although it may not be much help at the time, perseverence does work. We all know exactly what you are going through. Trust me - it does get better - we now have Sean (29 months) and Jamie (3 1/2 weeks). Second time around, we are finding things far less stressful, as it's not a new issue. You really do most of your learning with your first child. I have to admit - I didn't much enjoy being a mum to Sean when he was a baby. This time around with Jamie, I'm really enjoying it - lol - even with the 2 year old nutter running around the house ------------- Ali ----------------------------- Sean (17-08-2001) Coeliac - Gluten and Dairy sensitive James (29-12-2003) Gluten and Dairy sensitive |
Posted By: Alyoop2
Date Posted: 23 January 2004 at 9:44pm
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By the way - we are co sleeping with Jamie a lot of the time and find it works really well. Don't worry about what the people at work think - you have to do what works for you and your family, and if co sleeping means you get more sleep, then go for it. I am not sure what plunket thinks about it, but I do know it is supported by many mothers in La Leche League. The other thing that comes to mind is to wonder if Liam is going through a growth spurt. These usually last a few days, with the child being very clingy and wanting to feed all day and night, then they settle down again. I haven't personally tried the 0800 number for plunket. I know others who have, and to be honest, they haven't had anything good to say about it. ------------- Ali ----------------------------- Sean (17-08-2001) Coeliac - Gluten and Dairy sensitive James (29-12-2003) Gluten and Dairy sensitive |
Posted By: Alyoop2
Date Posted: 23 January 2004 at 9:46pm
Thinking off the top of my head here - hence the 3 posts in a row - have you tried baby massage? It used to calm down Sean really well when he was strung out.------------- Ali ----------------------------- Sean (17-08-2001) Coeliac - Gluten and Dairy sensitive James (29-12-2003) Gluten and Dairy sensitive |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 24 January 2004 at 2:53pm
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Maya was really clingy to me and wouldn't go to her dad for about 3 mths, but now she seems to be over it. he was apprehensive about taking her because she cried with him, but I convinced him to persevere and she settled after a minute or so of him talking to her. Now she gets really excited when she sees him.
Family center wwre great for us too. I had mastitis and 9 days in hospital with it and afterwards I went there and they took her for the day while I slept. they feed the mums, entertain the babies and they have some helpful videos they show if you want while you're there. I've gotten thru to Plunketline a few times (must be lucky lol) who were also grea t and a lot less judgemental than I thought they would be. There's a plunket nurse called Jenny who is on Staurday and Sunday nights/mornings and she is awesome. I've spoken to her several times while Maya screamed in the background and it helps to have someone impartial to talk to. Good luck, and things will get better as I have found with Maya. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: lou
Date Posted: 30 January 2004 at 9:21am
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Wasn't sure where to put this so thought I'd try starting a new topic. Let's see if it works.
I'm not sure how many of you are still breastfeeding, but I am and loving it. It was really hard going to start with - breast infections, painful let down, and it took 3 months for supply to equal demand. But for the last few months everything has been going great. That is till thursday @ midnight when I woke up with a massive lump in my breast - a bloked duct. Man was I ticked off, and rather worried as the last time I was quite sick and ended up in hospital for two nights. It hadn't improved by yesterday afternoon so I went to the doctors, who has put me on antibiotics as a precaution, to get it before it turns into a full blown infection. It seems to be a little better today. At 7 1/2 months I really didn't expect this to happen. Anyway just wanted to tell someone, and well you guys are such a good listening ear
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 30 January 2004 at 3:12pm
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Ouch Lou you are not alone and i can definately feel your pain and am sending get well wishes your way. Ive had the starting of mastitis lots up until Alyssa was about 8 months (im sure it comes with her growth spurts). The worst night was sitting in the chair bawling my eyes out while she feed of the sore breast (It feels like fire for all you lucky ladies that havent experienced this). A really really hot shower seems to help me and i try to express as much as i can in there as well. On the plus side it means that you must have lots of milk. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: midkemia
Date Posted: 30 January 2004 at 3:24pm
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Just a quick thanks to everybody (especially Lou) with your stories and suggestions.
Just thought you'd like to know that everything seems to be going OK at the moment, were all getting OK to good sleeps, far better than before. Now that we are doing the co-sleeping thing, the only problem we have is with making sure Liam is safe in our bed. We have the bed against one wall, but have no rail or anything for the other side or end of the bed. I’m looking at making a rail of some sort … or getting some old partitions from work (cell partitions) they are quite solid and would not be pushed over easily. If anybody else has any ideas I’m more than open to one or two. Sorry, can’t give any suggestions about “lumps” … apart from being call one sometimes !! W |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 30 January 2004 at 3:30pm
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dont know how it would work in a double bed but maybe you could look at a saftey sleep. They tuck under the mattress and have a velcro strap that holds the baby in place. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: melz
Date Posted: 30 January 2004 at 3:47pm
| Never used a safety sleep but looked at them in the shops and surely they wouldn't be too hard to make? Assuming one has any skill with a sewing machine! Or even buy a safety sleep from the shop and then add on an extra length of material with velcro attached to it |
Posted By: midkemia
Date Posted: 30 January 2004 at 3:56pm
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We did attempt to use a safety sleep when we were trying to get him to sleep in the cot and he had just started rolling over. Found that he would get himself twisted, and still on his front.
But I think your on to something here, as the bed is quite a bit bigger than the cot, and whilst we are (when I say we ... I mean Helena) is sleeping next to him it would be easy to untwist him or anything. The one we have is quite long ... though for the queen size bed we have it would have to be modified. Or perhaps some rope !! (he he) Thanks for the idea ... will look into it. W 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 30 January 2004 at 4:07pm
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Safety sleeps are great - Maya is 11 mths and still in hers at night.
I had to stop breastfeeding at 9mths coz Maya had failre to thrive, and I went thru a kind of depression afterwards, like "my baby doesn't need me any more". I had mastitis when she was 2 weeks old and had 9 nights in Nat Womens with it (really bad dose). I'm so pleased that I kept up the feeding tho, now Maya is on a bottle and all the preparation, sterilising etc. gets very tedious when you've got milk on tap. LOL tho - my milk still hasn't dried up, but Maya has forgotten how to (or doesn't want to) latch anymore ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Alyoop2
Date Posted: 30 January 2004 at 4:46pm
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After weaning Sean, my milk never dried up completely - I was still producing colostrum right up until the day my milk came in for Jamie - 2 years and 4 months later! ------------- Ali ----------------------------- Sean (17-08-2001) Coeliac - Gluten and Dairy sensitive James (29-12-2003) Gluten and Dairy sensitive |
Posted By: lou
Date Posted: 30 January 2004 at 7:03pm
I'm pleased to say I'm much better tonight - I managed to unblock the duct in the shower and then the lump all but disappeared as I massaged/expressed. A huge relief
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Posted By: Alyoop2
Date Posted: 30 January 2004 at 9:05pm
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I am so pleased to hear that Lou. I had lots of problems with blocked ducts when I was b/f Sean. At the moment, Jamie seems so hungry that I don't have any chance for anything to block up. He feeds madly all day - often for 1 - 2 hours at a stretch. (I think he is going through a growth spurt), then after only 2 - 3 feeds at night, I wake up in huge pain, with my breasts at least 4 sizes larger than I went to bed with. Hmm - then the hungry baby latches on, and it all starts again......................... Ali <- who is finding the sleep deprivation really starting to kick in, was just vomited all over, and whose baby won't go to sleep!!!!! lol - I love it really |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 31 January 2004 at 7:41am
| Thats great to hear Lou! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 31 January 2004 at 11:10am
| Glad everything is going well Ali... |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 25 July 2005 at 9:07pm
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bump ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Donna.I
Date Posted: 26 July 2005 at 7:29am
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Ahhh single parenthood, can you beat the stress lol, maybe that is why I am insane ------------- Donna Ingram Co-ordinator Gastric Reflux Aide mailto:info@gastricreflux.org - info@gastricreflux.org http://www.gastricreflux.org - www.gastricreflux.org |
Posted By: kbushnz
Date Posted: 26 July 2005 at 9:27am
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We had a safety sleep for briana - her cot mattress is a lot thicker than most normal cot mattresses so we modified the safety sleep by attaching longer velco strips to it to make sure it went around the mattress - maybe you could do this with your queen sized bed. ------------- http://www.baby-gaga.com/"> 
http://www.tickercentral.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 July 2005 at 1:15pm
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LOL at me tho - I sometimes think it was easier being a single mum than dealing with a grumpy hubby! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Donna.I
Date Posted: 26 July 2005 at 3:33pm
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lol maybe us singles should post about all the positives of being single lol ------------- Donna Ingram Co-ordinator Gastric Reflux Aide mailto:info@gastricreflux.org - info@gastricreflux.org http://www.gastricreflux.org - www.gastricreflux.org |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 27 July 2005 at 5:32pm
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1. Bed all to myself... ahhhh
2. Only have to deal with one child instead of two (Men are more like children that adults more often than not, I'll bet you coupled ladies can confirm this )
3. One parent's rules, no undermining or fighting over styles 4. Friends and family get to see Hannah a lot more as I am out and about to see people a lot 5. Being able to study and having more money than if I was in a relationship!!! 6. Making friends with other single Mums (and having something in common to b*tch about )
and I could go on.
Although ideally maybe I would have a partner. Or atleast have the skills to deal with guys. At the moment I'm such a freak any time any one gets close!!! p.s. Unfortunately could make a list longer than that about things that are crap about being a single mum, but I'm not going to give my negative mind the satisfaction!
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Posted By: Donna.I
Date Posted: 28 July 2005 at 4:12pm
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* Food is soo cheap * No fussy men to feed * No smelly farts * Everything is done my way * Easier to diet * The telly is all mine * and I can bad mouth males all I want Hmm can anyone add to this lot ------------- Donna Ingram Co-ordinator Gastric Reflux Aide mailto:info@gastricreflux.org - info@gastricreflux.org http://www.gastricreflux.org - www.gastricreflux.org |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 July 2005 at 4:30pm
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Definitely! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 28 July 2005 at 4:44pm
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I could...and I am married!!! LOL ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: skirts
Date Posted: 28 July 2005 at 9:53pm
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Hehehe, loving all the positives you guys are putting forward about single parenting, definately need them to look at on the bad days I reckon!
I think another positive is getting to do all the special things yourself and not having to share it with someone else, I know its a little selfish, but isnt it nice to be the one that does everything for them at times, the one they come to for cuddles or comfort, I love that about it. |
Posted By: Donna.I
Date Posted: 29 July 2005 at 7:29am
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* Watch a chick DVD anytime I want * I can follow my career no problems, leave the country if I want even for my career and only have to worry about changing the kids schools (which I aim to do in about four years time once I have my qualifications ------------- Donna Ingram Co-ordinator Gastric Reflux Aide mailto:info@gastricreflux.org - info@gastricreflux.org http://www.gastricreflux.org - www.gastricreflux.org |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 29 July 2005 at 1:57pm
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I had a few probs with the leaving the country one - Willie could put his foot down and not let me take Maya, and he has threatened to in the past, but never went thru with it, and I have always brought her back. Seeing the terrorist attacks in London freaked him out tho since Maya and I were there last Nov, and he is very iffy about letting us go to New York shortly (I have meetings there) for the same reason. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 29 July 2005 at 3:39pm
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Man I love the sound of your jetsetter life Emma!!!!
Can't wait til I am finished school and dragging Hannah around the world
I get paternity results by Sept at latest, and then officially Hannah's dad will have guardianship rights. I don't foresee that he will exercise them. But was talking to a mother at creche who had the same deal and 2 years down the track the kid's Dad was wanting to be very involved in kids life. I guess I'll have to wait and see
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 29 July 2005 at 3:48pm
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Did it cost you to ge the tests done Nikki? Or did her dad pay? Sorry nosey i know
------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 29 July 2005 at 3:48pm
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You never know, Willie never even turned up to Family court for our custody hearing, and he never came to the pre-court counselling either, so the judge ruled in my favour, and yet here nearly 2 years later he thinks he is father of the year! Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but Maya and I were on our own for a long time, and we did it really hard, and it will be a long time (if ever) before I get over that. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 29 July 2005 at 4:15pm
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Maria - As I am a student with a giant student loan (and Chris is as well) we both got legal aid. Well, officially I am waiting on him to get his sorted but there should be no problems with it. It's quite cool because my lawyer is one of my best mate's older sister, who I have known since I was at primary school. She sorts everything out for me and is there for me on a personal level as well (And not nosey at all, I've never been one to worry about those sort of things)
Emma - Yeah, many people have told me that one day Chris might want to be a part of Hannah's life, but I really can't see it. He's got a whooooole lotta growing up to do before he'll be a good father as well. Be interesting to see what he'll do when the results come back though. At the moment he is in full denial. Last time I saw him (about 5 months pregnant, showing a bit) he didn't even acknowledge my belly or the pregnancy and talked about exams and our degrees and stuff. Definitely avoiding the issue!!! I think maybe it's a bit different for him as well as we were never in a relationship together so I guess he doesn't feel any obligation to care. |
Posted By: Donna.I
Date Posted: 29 July 2005 at 6:35pm
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Well I guess I count myself lucky. My ex hubby (from a 13 year marriage and four kids) with whom I walked from five and a half years ago, just simply said 'whatever'. He hates the responsibility that a family brings, in fact I think he would be glad to be freed of the fortnightly visitation (consisting of a total of 33 hours with his 6 & 10 year olds). My youngest's father is very supportive, and he wants me to aim high and go for whatever I want, wherever it takes me. This guy is one I am not sure if I would ever figure out (mind you can you ever figure out males lol). He does not want to be involved with his son, simply due to his obligations, private (he is a single dad of two) and work (which consists of very long and irregular hours) as he feels it unfair to give his son inconsistant visitation, being in and out of his life. Though he does like to be kept updated of everything about our son. He has always said that he would be happy to see his son when older and wanting to see him. Hmm and I wonder why I am single lol ------------- Donna Ingram Co-ordinator Gastric Reflux Aide mailto:info@gastricreflux.org - info@gastricreflux.org http://www.gastricreflux.org - www.gastricreflux.org |
Posted By: mumstheword
Date Posted: 03 August 2005 at 12:43pm
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i was a solo mum up until a year n half ago, It definatly has its ups and downs, Calebs dad by his own hoice dosnt have much to do with him, when Caleb see's him he asks me whats his name mummy?? Hes never really been around much, wat bums me the most is as I look at my son with so muh love i cant understand why his dad dosnt love him to, they way I do, 4yrs on I still cant get my head around it, But since we wernt together when I had him all the choices where mine names baby stuff, nobody to argue with, this preg we talk for hours about wat were going to name the baby, daycare or stay at home? how were doing up babys room wat colours?? sometimes its been easier to be alone, But andrew is so much better than Calebs dad, he has 2 daughters already and is a great dad to them, but I do have my days were I wish I was alone,just because its all ive known, but then I look back at th time I was alone and I love parenting together, Andrew reinforces watever I say and I do the same, But being a solo mum to Caleb we have the srongest bond, he is my lil man, hes a gentle happy child that cant wait to be a big brother...
to all single parents good on you its one of the hardest jobs around, being mum and dad, and theres alot of you out there that dont have the best family support, which makes it harded again... Big ups to you all xoxox ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 04 August 2005 at 4:18pm
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Even tho Willie and I were technically together when Maya was born, I went thru my pregnancy on my own. He never came to a single midwifes visit or scan, didn't come to the birth, and refused to discuss the pregnancy much at all. He wouldn't even feel my tummy when se kicked. When my waters leaked at 28 weeks he dropped me at the hospital and went home without even waiting to see if baby was ok. I was so sad, I really wanted him to be as excited about the pregnancy as I was (once I got used to the idea!) but it didn't work that way. I've got no family here in Auckland either, but I do have great friends who supported me thru, and still do.
It's taken a long time for me to come to terms with the way he behaved, and we have talked about it a lot, his excuse was that he didn't want to get attached to the baby 'in case it died'. What a great excuse that is. He also knows that when we have our next child he has to be more involved, come to the scans etc, that's one of the conditions of me agreeing to have another baby in the first place. But he is genuinely sorry, and I do believe that things will be better next time round. And he is a great dad to Maya - LMAO the other night he was singing the "barney" song in his sleep.. I love you, you love me.... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 05 August 2005 at 12:38am
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hahahahahaha things like that really let down the tough image huh?
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Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 05 August 2005 at 6:48am
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My oldest son's father and I broke up when I was 8 weeks pregnant, apparently in a family of druggies and nudists I had brought them great shame. We never had contact until a not so good friend told him I had had a boy. He rang me at my mothers and asked to see him. I decided that I wouldn't deprive my son of his father so said yes but warned him he had to be consistant and regular or he would have a hell of a fight on his hands. He visited three times, twice late and once stoned. Then I get a letter from his lawyer saying he wants to take the baby (1 month old) for walks. My reply was "he's not a dog", and not when his client is doing drukgs just before visitation. We got paternity underway at his request and the the SOB after a court date had been set dissappeared. Apparently he changed his mind. We couldn't cancel the court date, not throught lack of trying and he was named the father (previously unknown on birth certificate) Micheal is now 8 and we have never seen him. His dad is a deadbeat always has been always will be. He now has a great step dad who has raised him since he was 18 months. We are currently looking into legal adoption, as I worry if anything happens to me he could be made to go with his sperm donor and be seperated from Troy and his brother and sister. Some men are pigs. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 05 August 2005 at 9:41am
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wowee
makes my situation pale in comparison! i hope you guys do get adoption sorted and i'm glad michael has found someone to love him as his son
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 05 August 2005 at 10:30am
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vick - you may be able to get your patner named as his legal guardian in the meantime -
there have been changes to the law re this too so you may want to look into this and see if your ex would have any rights if anything did happen to you... this site may have some info re this: http://www.justice.govt.nz/family/children/careofchildren-june-2005-chapter-2.html ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 05 August 2005 at 11:09am
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thanks, I'll look into that when i am done here. The main thing is peace of mind and even the guardianship would do for now. At the moment my will states that troy is to look after micheal in the event of my death and my sister will be an extra guardian. We were advised that we should have at least one blood realitive. Given the way the NZ court system works though it only takes one horrible judge in a bad mood to give micheal to is natural father instead of the dad who loves him. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: mumstheword
Date Posted: 06 August 2005 at 9:54pm
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Calebs io dad cares that lil about him he told me that if andrew and i want toget Caleb legally adopted by andrew just to send him the papers, that way he wot have to pay child support... thoughtful aye, but as he does make good money and does always pay on time were not going to do it till were married... atleast when he looses $100 or so dollars every week that will remind him he has a child... it may sound rude but hes NEVER done anything for him ever... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: nuttymama
Date Posted: 07 August 2005 at 7:49am
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Micheals natual father still after eight years doesn't pay child support. The courts still haven't tracked him down to serve the papers on him. Which is good as when we broke up his parting words were "I aint paying for something I don't get to see". So it suits me fine. I looked into that website gsmum, I just have to figure out now if he has natural guardianship, it was a little confusing, if he hasn't we won't have to contact him, and it's as simple as getting some papers signed by a registrar. So we will get that clarified by a lawyer. Thanks for the tip. ------------- Abigail 06/01/2005 Jayden 21/11/2001 Micheal 03/04/1997 |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 07 August 2005 at 9:08am
My dad never paid child support for us. He somehow managed to claim he was broke even though I KNOW he inherited HEAPS of money from my gran, half of which was supposed to go to me and my brother, grrrrrrr. 
The funny thing is, although he NEVER gave a thought to us now that I am pregnant he seems to have poppoed back into my life and acts like nothing ever happened... go figure ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 07 August 2005 at 3:37pm
| Vick, I think the new law coming in means that the parents named on the birth certificate both automatically have guardianship rights. It used to be that even if the father was named, he didn't automatically have guardianship. (Just found this out, don't know if it applies to you at all?) |
Posted By: skirts
Date Posted: 07 August 2005 at 3:39pm
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Males huh, they def can be pigs!
Summers dad has never ever laid eyes on her, his choice but one Im happy with. Hes a loser and shes really better off without him, though at times I wish she had a loving supportive father, for both her and my sakes, but cant change whats happened a, just try and make the best of the situation. Plus I love her to bits and thats all that matters
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 08 August 2005 at 2:44pm
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Yep Nikki, prior to the law change, the father was only a guardian if he was married to or living with the mother at time of birth, regardless of whether he was named on the birth certificate or not.
Vicky, if it helps, you can have Troy appointed as Micheals Testamentary Guardian with or without his fathers permission. When I took Willie to court for custody of Maya I also had a will prepared naming my parents as Maya's testementary guardians. This means that they are not her legal guardians unless I die, in which case they have equal guardianship rights. Even now that Willie and I are back together I have left this clause in my will, as I feel that God forbid anything happen to me, having Mum, Dad and Willie as legal guardians gives Maya a good solid grounding. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Angelme
Date Posted: 13 October 2005 at 12:48pm
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I feel with the need, the demand of company of other single parents, I have created http://s13.invisionfree.com/SPDownUnder - Single Parents Down Under A place for Single Mums & Single Dads, from Aus and NZ. Single parents getting together, chat, friendship, support. ------------- Cheers Angel NZ Single Parents http://www.nzsingleparents.com - www.nzsingleparents.com |