Daycare - Friends or no friends?
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=18638
Printed Date: 09 April 2026 at 1:30pm
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Topic: Daycare - Friends or no friends?
Posted By: Peanut
Subject: Daycare - Friends or no friends?
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 9:22am
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Just thought I would gather some opinions here as really don't know what to do.
I put DS name on lots of waiting lists (as chch is hard to get into daycare) and he has now been offered 3 places. They are all on par with each other but: 1. He would be with about 5-6 of the plunket coffee group babies. 2. He would be with a wee friend that he sees at least twice a week. I am really good friends with the other lady and was prior to babies 3. He would be on his own. What do you think would be best for him? I keep changing my mind. Also MIL wants to look after his 1 day a week. I am not close to her and find her rather irritating. Is it disruptive to do 4 days DC and 1 day with MIL? TIA  -------------  
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Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 9:33am
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If you don't want her to have him just say that you have to have him in daycare 5 days a week as that is what his placement is and theres no point paying for a day each week if hes not going to use it or something to that effect.
I don't know which of the 3 options I'd choose though. I'd be more inclined to go with whichever place he was really happy with the carers/teachers |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 9:35am
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Well it comes down to which one you felt more comfortable with... Maybe option 2 - then he'd get to make more friends and you might as well?
I have a love hate relationship with my outlaws and personally I wouldn't do it. I did it with Nyah (she had her every Friday from the time Nyah was 9mths) She never followed our routine and Nyah was overly spoilt and it drove me mad. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 9:36am
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I would probaby go for option two. And I would LOVE my MIL to keep having DD once a week for a break from Daycare but alas its not to be. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 10:15am
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i would possibly go for 2 as well, if you have a good relationship with that lady then maybe you can share pick ups etc too... but yeah i would look at what the staff are like and how he interacts with them. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 10:19am
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I'd go for one or two, depending on which DC you feel most comfy with. You could always trial the MIL for a month and see if it works. Just a thought. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 10:20am
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Yep - I'd do number 2.
It's not so much for your little one but for you. I mean, he'll make friends in no time at all but it's always good for you to have a fellow mama friend at creche 
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Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 10:51am
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Wicked. Thanks for that. As I say I kept changing my mind. I like them all and DS is such a cruisy kid that he was sweet at all of them when we went for wee visits. I kinda thought option 2 as we can share pick ups etc and also then he will have to make other friends and I can too whereas with 1 he will already know lots of the kids.
MIL issues - i was kinda thinking along the lines of you, .Mel. Think I will just let her have him for a half day every month as a treat for them both rather than a full day every week. i just think its too disruptive for all involved. Now to actually stick to the decision. Any other comments welcome! -------------
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Posted By: mandz
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 11:12am
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Hi Peanut
I definitely think Option 2 as well. But with your MIL I think you should let her have him one day a week if that is what she is wanting to do. I know you find her irritating but am assuming your DS doesn't! Please don't take offense at this, just think that it could build a really good relationship between your MIL and DS. My sister has two boys, both of them have spent one day a week with my mother and one day a week with her MIL, with the other 3 days at daycare. She finds her MIL very irritating (as does her husband and it's his mum  ). But the boys have never found it disruptive and love spending time with their Granny! They even know exactly what day they are meant to be where!
Anyway, just my 2 cents worth... Amanda ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Zack Robert Henton - 29th December 2009 |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 12:10pm
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I guess it depends on your plunket group. Im really close with mine as in they have become my best friends so I would love for my kids to go to the same preschool (in fact some are) but if its just a nice group of people that you catch up with once every one or two weeks then i would go with option 2
If you want to tell me what daycares you are looking at (PM me if you like) I can tell you if I know anything good or bad about them, Ive done quite a bit of research into chch preschools |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 1:14pm
*snort* insert poo joke *snigger* |
nikkiwhyte wrote:Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 2:33pm
Can always count on you to drag the tone to the gutter! 
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 2:55pm
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 4:50pm
| I'd be inclined to go with no. 2 as well. And I think a half day a month is fair enough, I find my MIL irritating as heck as well (plus she doesn't do anything the way I like it in regards to looking after Jack and its often more hassle having her around as we then have to deal with a disrupted child for the rest of the day). |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 5:00pm
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Thats my thoughts on it, Emz. She doesn't listen to a word I say so its just a pain.
The only prob is that she gave up work to look after her grandhildren but never actually asked. Luckily she looks after her daughters child once a week! DH thinks she should have him once a week so that will be an interesting discussion. Well, decision made and booked! Thanks everyone. I appreciate your input! -------------
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 27 June 2008 at 8:45pm
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When I had to put Andrew into care we had no option but going with option 3. But it was a good daycare and that is what I was happy with. He made good friends there. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 28 June 2008 at 9:38am
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I'd go with #2 as well but remember at 6mos it won't matter from his POV where he goes. If you don't get on that well with MIL then just let her visit and do night-time babysitting when you and your DH go out. -------------  |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 28 June 2008 at 10:46am
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I should have said that he won't be going to daycare until Feb next year so will be about 14 months. Its just he has been offered the places now and want to make a decision so that other kids can be offered the places that I say no to. -------------
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Posted By: marielb
Date Posted: 30 June 2008 at 2:56pm
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My DS started at kindy with no friends, and now he has lots
I chose the kindy for the staff and place, not for friends, but I guess it would be nice if I knew some parents there ------------- Isaac is 6, Ethan is 4, Rico is 2 and Hunter is almost 1! |
Posted By: cat007
Date Posted: 30 June 2008 at 3:08pm
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My DS has been in daycare for several weeks now. I personally have found that it is better for him to bond with his teachers than with the other children when they are so young. They dont tend to have "friends" as such at this age, they just play with whoever has the toys that they want too. DS has a couple of children that he knows from coffee group in his daycare group but he doesnt seem to continue that bond that he has with them when at daycare.
However, DS has got a couple of teachers that he has bonded with really well. They always end up looking after him and giving him cuddles when he is upset - and he is happy to go to them. Its made settling him in so much easier. And he has so much fun with them. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  [/url http://lilypie.com">
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