Infidelity
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=18851
Printed Date: 01 October 2025 at 11:22pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Infidelity
Posted By: pepsi
Subject: Infidelity
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 6:16pm
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There was a story on 20/20 quite a while ago about infidelity, and they set this hidden camera thing up to see how the friends of girl #1 would react if they caught her boyfriend cheating. Girl #1 was in on it and so was the boyfriend and the actress who was playing the other woman. It was only girl #1's friends who didn't know it was a set up.
Anyway, the scenario was girl #1 was yet to arrive to meet her girlfriends at the restaurant, but while the girlfriends were waiting, they see girl #1's boyfriend having an intimate dinner with another woman. I think one of them ends up texting him to say "I can see you, girl #1 is on the way here"..so the boyfriend and fake girlfriend quickly leave the restaurant. The dilemma was, would the friends tell girl #1 what they just witnessed? In the end yes, they told her everything. Girl #1 was happy they did and they revealed the setup. The reporter was talking about how many people wouldn't tell their friend as they wouldn't want to be the bearer of such bad news. Also, some friends wouldn't want to say anything for fear that their friend wouldn't believe them. So, if you saw a friends boyfriend with another woman - would you tell your friend? Also, if you yourself were the friend who was being cheated on, would you want your friend to tell you? Personally I'd say yes in both instances. I actually have told a friend I knew of her boyfriend cheating (as he was my bf at the time's best friend - so I knew) , and it was tough as they had been together for a really long time. But she had her suspicions and I really just confirmed it for her. Not sure how much harder it would be if the friend had children and you could potentially break up a family, but I think I still would say something.. |
Replies:
Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 6:22pm
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Yes and yes. -------------  
 
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 6:57pm
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Yes and yes for me too.
------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 8:32pm
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Yes to both questions ------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow">  Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 8:36pm
yes , but id much rather be anyone else than the one telling them 
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 8:50pm
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Depends and yes.
I think it totally depends on how sure you are that they're cheating (I wouldn't say if I wasn't sure), how good a friend they are (I would tell my besties everything but if its someone I don't know that well I would have to make a judgement call) and what type of person they are- some people don't want to know. Ages ago I had found out my good friends BF had cheated and I told her but she turned on me and I ended up losing the friendship because of it. Obviously it wasn't as good a friendship as I thought at the time- but it was definitely a case of shooting the messenger! She wasn't the type of person who wanted to know. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 8:57pm
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i would like to be told if my partner was cheating........and i would also tell my friend if i saw her partner with someone else ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 9:02pm
| yes and yes. Ive told a friend I saw her boyfriend kissing another girl (it was in my house right in front of me) and she didnt believe me and believed him, almost ruined our friendship but at least I know I was honest with her and would hope someone would do the same for me. |
Posted By: almostthere
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 9:56pm
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Yep. I would bring it up with him and then say: umm, i just saw your guy here with this chick...
Cos you never knw.. the wife/GF could know about it and say yes, i know.. And it would be all a sweet.. or my friend might not know and i have jsut given her the opportunity to confront him I most certainly woldny go in all blazed up tho, cos you just dont know what their situation is.. ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6"> 
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2128f6 - chart |
Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 04 July 2008 at 10:01pm
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I'd tell him that I knew and give him the opportunity to do the right thing, if he didn't then I'd definitely tell out of respect for my friend. Same goes if my friend knew my partner was cheating on me, out of respect I would expect her to either do the same thing or just tell me herself ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 7:32am
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Yes and yes to both questions for me. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: gypsynita
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 10:46am
yeah - i think giving him the chance to tell first is a good idea, at least then if he "man's up" then you won't get shot for being the messanger! plus if you haven't actually seen them kissing or whatever it could still be innocent... (or maybe I'm just naive?) ------------- Anita Mum to Cian (Aug 08), Josh (Jun 10) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Two Blondinis wrote:Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 11:16am
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Id tell my friend, and as much as id hate it id want my friend to tell me. Cause its happened to me before.. and my friend told me and i just didnt believe her which is stupid! Grr. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 11:29am
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yes and yes.
although sometimes love is blind!!! your friend may end up hating you for it, as has happened to me!! sometimes people actually know whats going on but just want to "not" know if you get what i mean. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: Phat_Cat
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 11:37am
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yes and yes - i would approach my friend and say so but in doing so I would make absolutely certain of my facts, then i would leave it up to her as to how she would handle it. If it was me definately Ive been cheated on before and ive made it my thing not to let it happen again. DH & I have discussed as to what one calls cheating and we both agree that a kiss on the lips(well passionately) qualifies as cheating as it all starts there...a kis on the cheek however is acceptable because i have a male friend who does that everytime he sees me and DH is aware of that. ------------- Tristen - 24/06/07 Rylan - 11/12/08 Angel Babies -14/08/05 & 21/01/2010 Curtis - 26/02/12 |
Posted By: Mum2L
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 2:06pm
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yes and yes. Honesty is the best policy. And one thing that is true, once a cheater, always a cheater. Both DH and I have been affected by cheating ex-partners... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 4:28pm
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Yes and yes for me too. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: sparkle
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 6:15pm
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I've told a friend before, saw it with my own eyes. She went and confronted him, he denied it, she believed him, came back to me and said "bottom line is, I believe him"
We had been friends since we were 13 (were 23 at the time) and that pretty much ended our friendship. I heard later that he'd done it another 2 times, then she finally put all his furniture and belongs into black bags, left them on the driveway and told him he'd better come and get them! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 7:00pm
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Yes and yes. I'd wanna be pretty sure of the situation first and might approach it with a, hey is that girl keen on your man? Seems to me like they have been a bit too close lately.
If anyone said something like that to me, I'd go right and ask my DH for his side of the story and I would believe him. I guess if I had a couple of independent reports, I'd get suspicious though. Not that I think that would ever happen though, my DH is really very honest! -------------  |
Posted By: LJsmum
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 7:10pm
yes and yes here as well  -------------  
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 05 July 2008 at 7:15pm
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Id like to say yes BUT i have been in this situation with my sister (gez i had to think about whether i wanted to put that or not but here we go), DH saw her DF (of 13 years!!) with another girl and then we caught him out on a few things BUT we never told my sis because ...well....reasons that seem silly now and i feel quite stink about it but i thought that if somehow we were wrong then i wouldv totally caused crap for her .....(she found it in the end)
So id say yes but in reality i may not not sure if id want my friend to tell me either...
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