The great toilet seat debate
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=18927
Printed Date: 12 October 2025 at 4:17am
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Topic: The great toilet seat debate
Posted By: pepsi
Subject: The great toilet seat debate
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:11pm
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Over the years I have listened to female friends complain about their significant male others leaving the toilet seat up. And based on comments I have heard on tv, it is long time issue that men aren't putting the seat down when they are finished in the loo.. So is this something that really frustrates the crap out of women in general?
Maybe I'm naive, but to clarify, I grew up with 2 brothers, and my mum never made them put the toilet seat down. It never occurred to me that they "should". I guess I assumed that since both males and females use the toilet, no-one really has "right of way" do they? So yeah, it goes without saying that I have never asked DH to put the seat down, so he never does. I don't know if I would feel differently if I had sons because I don't know if it's part of teaching manners? I dunno?.... So is this an issue at your house? Have you had to train the males living there that they must put the seat down? Why do you think it is that the males are the one who is supposed to put the seat down, as opposed to the females leaving the seat up? I don't know why I was thinking about this, but I really am curious.. |
Replies:
Posted By: KH25
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:18pm
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Dh leaves the seat up - it doesn't really bother me and I only had sisters....
The only reason/arguement that I have ever come up with is that both male and female use the toilet seat down but only males use it up so maybe it should be left down?? But like I said, it doesn't bother me  ------------- Kelly, mum to DD, 19Jun06 (26wks 1lb15oz) DS1, 24Oct10 (32wks 4lb11oz) and DS2, 31Dec11 (32wks, 4lb11) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:19pm
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It's not an issue in our house because we haven't made it an issue - if that makes sense.
My feeling is, woman who make a fuss about their partners putting the seat DOWN after they are done, should stop and think about the fact that their partners have every right to ask them to put the toilet seat UP when they are done. Sooo in our house when you go to the toilet you'll either find the seat UP or DOWN depending on who was in there last. I have more important things to worry about than worry about whether or not the boys have put the seat down. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:26pm
The toilet seat is found both up and down in our house. It has never bothered me how the toilet seat is left, what bothers me more are males that miss the toilet competely and I get wet socks  !!
One of the joys of flatting with guys in my younger years  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:30pm
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DH always puts it down. His mother trained him well. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: AliaDawn
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:33pm
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I've never even noticed this... guess Mike's mum trained him up (had 3 males 1 female in the house) cause it's always down... Our toilet is an old one here, with a bit of yucky staining on the inside, so I'd be a bit embarassed if he left it up when people were around! and there's no way marks like that are coming out. -------------  
 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:35pm
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I don't really care. I live in a house of males so I am the odd one out. What I am trying to do thou is get them all to put the seat and the lid down as the toilet likes to spread its water over the walls ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:38pm
Same. I hate it when they miss (I flatted with guys too) |
peachy wrote:Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:40pm
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My DH always puts its down and I prefer it down personally. More because it was designed for the seat to be down so it 'looks' right IYKWIM... ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:40pm
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I don't mind the toilet seat left up... I've got bigger battles to fight
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Posted By: mandz
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:41pm
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My DH always puts both the seat and the lid down. Before I met him I always put the seat down but not usually the lid. However after living with him for a couple of years I notice I too put the lid down on every toilet I use as a matter of habit!
I can't stand the seat being left up personally.... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Zack Robert Henton - 29th December 2009 |
Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:46pm
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This is my feeling too! My DH leaves it up or down depending on where he had it (TMI)... I would rather it was left down also because it feels more hygenic (ie. I don't have to touch it) but then again, he has to touch it to put it up... so yeah ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids 
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: marielb
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:47pm
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My DH always puts the seat down - I don't think I told him to, he just does!
Doesn't really bother me though (maybe because its always down :) ) ------------- Isaac is 6, Ethan is 4, Rico is 2 and Hunter is almost 1! |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:53pm
DH always puts the seat down when he's finished......his mum taught him to and i applaud her because she was the only female in the house with 4 males!
i'm teaching jack to lift the seat up to go, and put both the seat and the lid down when he's finished. i'll also be teaching charli to put the lid down when she's done. it's just how i like it, don't know why 
------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 5:24pm
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The seat has to be down in my house.
Reason being: I'm the boss and thats the way I bloody well like it. End of story. Matt complained about it when we first started living together, saying ew I have to touch it and its so gross etc, so I responded with the fact that he should be washing his hands after he goes to the toilet anyway, so whats the problem. Thomas will be taught to put the seat down as well. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: ellen
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 5:43pm
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Living in a house full of males I don't get much choice but it's never really bothered me. I used to get more upset when the boys were little and there seemed to be more pee on the floor than in the toilet!
Because we use the ensuite toilet I always get in a real panic when someone visits as I'm never quite sure how the other toilet is looking - they have to keep it clean now. I always use toilet paper to put the seat down if I'm using public toilets though - can't stand the thought of touching it. And I do find myself wondering why the seat is up in ladies toilets? |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 5:50pm
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mike always leaves the seat down, always has.
especially important when there's littlies toilet training (ie girls) who get a bit flustered when somethings not the same. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 6:03pm
tHE ONLy time it bothers me is in the middle of the night when busting for the toilet in my tired almost asleep state I rush to the toilet plunk myself down and nearly fall down the toilet cause the seat has been left up! LOL...I can laugh about it ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: baalamb
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 6:27pm
Same!!!!
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 6:50pm
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I have never noticed the toilet seat up ever.
Before I was married i was living at home with 3 females and 2 males. I guess they were too scared to leave it up. Since I have been married i'd have to say DH has never left the toilet seat up ( I think maybe he prefers to sit anyway  )
What they need is some type of pedal for the guys to stand on when they are using the toilet tat lifts the seat up and drops as soon as they leave (just like a pedal bin) - that would solve everyones problems ------------- 
 
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 6:55pm
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Well we NEVER have the issue because my DH sits to pee (maybe it's a european guy thing? All the German men I know do??) and so does Joey.... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:11pm
Thats a great idea Christy! Especially if you market it as a 'gadget', men would love it!  ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:12pm
| Well according to Google...someone has already invented one of those foot-pedal toilet seats... hehe |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:13pm
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OH wow I have my eyes opened I though 'ALL" men stood up to pee
I also heard if you have your toilet in with your bathroom you should always put the lid down to flush the toilet as 'splashes' get out and depending where your sink is - with your toothbrush on the basin - well lets say you maybe brushing with some of those splashes!! Yuk ------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:15pm
Ewww yes I saw some documentary about that too!! There are so many microparticles containing faeces when you flush the toilet, you should always put the lid down. They did an ultraviolet light thing and showed just how far the water splashes when you flush...definitely an eye opener.. |
Posted By: meow
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:35pm
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All good for the immune system
I guess either DP never actually lifts the toilet seat to pee - or he puts it down
Other guys come here and leave it up though, which is gross as there is always pee on the rim of the seat! Call me strange, but I'd be fine putting it down if it were DP leaving it up - but having to put it down after other guys have used it makes me feel ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:48pm
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I don't care either way, in fact I don't even know if Willie puts it down or not, if he doesn't I must just subconsciously put it down before I go.
I agree with the puddles on the floor tho ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:57pm
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i dont mind either way either
but,,,,i do wish we girls could stand and pee, that would be fun .... |
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 8:08pm
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Both seat and lid down here at all times when loo not in use - keeps things looking nice and tidy Oh, and both me & DH do that so nothing to argue about.
However, if we didn't, I don't think I'd make a fuss ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 8:55pm
ewww I can't believe that grown men leave puddles!!! 
We used to leave it whichever way, but since TTing it is now left down for "in case of emergency" ------------- |
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 9:08pm
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Very occasionally I find it up, but it doesn't bother me. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 9:30pm
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I can stand and pee.... it's the aiming part that gets me DH always leaves the seat down. I do prefer it that way, I hate touching the toilet seat, but I've never made a fuss over it. I do see it as good etiquette though and I hate it when male guests use my toilet and don't put the seat down. -------------  
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Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 9:36pm
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I REFUSE to touch the toilet seat, the only time is with gloves when I clean it. When DP and I moved in together he never put the seat down and I got so peaved!! Once he had all his mates around and I called him from the bathroom to "come and put this bimmen toilet seat down in the correct fashion" he was very embarresed and never left it up again lol. But we have lids down as well and I never find either up so im a happy chappy. ------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow">  Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 9:36pm
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Like some others have said, I just think the toilet looks 'nicer' when the seat is down- I hate seeing it left up. Luckily DH puts it down so its not a bother in our house. I usually put the seat down to flush though because I had heard that toothbrush thing a while ago, its good feng shui and its quieter. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 11:14pm
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Seat and lid must be down before you flush, the crap (literally ) that flies around when you flush is too gross.
Ad to if you don't go that far, well it should be down, becasue if you struggle to the loo inteh dark ainthe middle of the night, plonk your butt down and the guy has left the seat up, it really sucks to have your butt pretty much hit the water. -------------  
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Posted By: catisla
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 7:59am
wait until the DH is in this situation dying for a poo, and things will change for a while. Personally i never understood why, if they can write their names in the snow with it, they can't aim properly even with the toilet seat DOWN. ------------- |
Posted By: queenbean
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 9:16am
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Seat and lid always down in our house, good ole DH!!
-------------   
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Posted By: sadie
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 10:08am
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Lid ALWAYS down in this house. Lids up gross me out - looks horrible and also really unhygenic when you flush with the lid open.
Besides, I've never agreed with the whole leave the seat down argument - and this is from someone who grew up in an all female house.... |
Posted By: NeoshasMummy
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 10:39am
My DP wants to know how on earth a man can pee sitting down. How the heck am I supposed to know lol------------- https://secure.fertilityfriend.com/home/30c4ec/" rel="nofollow"> Mrs Te Kani ❤️ Neosha 26/5/2007 |
Posted By: Shorty
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 12:40pm
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Our house the seat and lid are always down.
It bothered me to start with when we first lived together as he always left the seat up...not sure why now, maybe something that is passed on from my mother? |
Posted By: marielb
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 1:14pm
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Actually, he must leave it up a few times as I have almost sat in the water at night occasionally!!! ------------- Isaac is 6, Ethan is 4, Rico is 2 and Hunter is almost 1! |
Posted By: BellaBoo
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 2:41pm
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Seat and lid down for me but Dh leaves lid up or seat up or both- no real consistency.
When I was drunk one night( a long time ago!) I was busting for a wee and ran to the toilet and as soon as I sat down the pee came rushing out. Unfortunately I didnt have time to lift the lid so it was quite a mess ------------- http://lilypie.com">   http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 3:10pm
| Oh K. You kill me. That's hilarious! |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 3:13pm
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DH leaves the seat up here. Drives me mental
If we have a boy I am DEFINITELY teaching him to put the seat down
BellaBoo - ROTFLMAO that's pretty funny ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 3:56pm
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Haha K done and done Not pretty eh.
I've had to hold my DH while he pees cos he was so drunk and I knew he would get it everywhere so it was a necessity. However I do remind him of it quite often when I need something done... emotional blackmail yay!
Seat down, lid up in our house. I don't care if the lid is down or up cos the toilet's off our laundry so can't 'infect' anything anyway. But yeah general rule is lid down within 2 metres of toothbrushes, food, kitchens etc. |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 11:12pm
Hubby was wondering the same.... he doesn't know anyone who sits to pee (male that is) except for Rhylz who really doesnt count as hes still in nappies ------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 09 July 2008 at 9:35am
I guess the penis just hangs between the legs and voila.... not that difficule to imagine. Surely? That's how it works with Joey, I don't watch DH on the toilet... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 09 July 2008 at 10:07am
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DH puts the seat down (lid up). His mum taught him to. I'm very glad! It looks tidier and more hygienic. And it's polite --- chivalry is not dead! ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 09 July 2008 at 10:20am
yep neil sits to pee too, he's not German, just tall. He says he can't rely on his aim as it has further to go. So not an issue in this house either ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 09 July 2008 at 10:24am
| Yep, I think seat down and lid too are the way to go. dh is pretty good but often the lid is up. I cant use a bathroom with a toilet in it if the lid is open...just cant do it. Cant brush teeth or have a shower with the toilet "looking" at me. |
Posted By: lucky3rdtime
Date Posted: 09 July 2008 at 1:51pm
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LOL at nzpiper
DH always puts the seat down and usually the lid too. I don't like the lid down in the main toilet, which is separate from the bathroom, but I prefer the lid down in the ensuite. I prefer the seat down cos i think that's its natural position and i think that men that don't put it back down are just lazy basically. But worse than that is when they miss, that annoys me, at least if you miss can you wipe it up instead of me having to ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 09 July 2008 at 2:05pm
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Lid and seat are always down unless it's in the middle of the night...why??? because Seth has a bladder problem and if he's not fast enough he forgets to lift up both in his drowsy state and ends up peeing all over the seat/lid AND floor -------------  
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