TIME OUT - ILEGAL????!!!!
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Forum Name: General Chat
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Topic: TIME OUT - ILEGAL????!!!!
Posted By: BaAsKa
Subject: TIME OUT - ILEGAL????!!!!
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 6:36pm
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Someone was telling me today that her friend has had her kids taken off her for putting them in time out!!! WTF!!! and when she asked what the deal was they told her it is now ilegal to use timeout but i cant remember the reasoning.....
not sure if i believe it though.... anyone know if it true!??? |
Replies:
Posted By: JadeC
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 6:40pm
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Um, that sounds pretty false. ------------- http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Mum2L
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 6:43pm
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It is untrue, I'm afraid. It is perfectly legal. Timeout is actually recommended a form a discipline, rather than smacking. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 6:43pm
well if that make that ilegal then our kids are going to go off the rails!
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 7:17pm
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If they make timeout illegal , then they , whoever THEY are , can quite frankly come parent my child the way it suits them because clearly what the parent wants to do is no longer good enough.
Do they want the morning sickness and the episiotomy as well ?? |
Posted By: Nextbub
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 7:40pm
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What if you put yourself in Time Out. Can they come arrest you for that.
I see time out as a good thing (within reason - ie if you put your kids in TO for all day then that wouldn't be very good but if it was just for a few moments while everyone cools down then thats Ok) |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 7:44pm
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I apologise for sounding skeptical but I'm curious to know whether this bullocks was made up or whether you've only got part of the story - I'd be asking where she put her kids in timeout and for how long (i.e. was her idea of timeout locking them in a closet for several hours?) -------------  
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BaileyandAstin wrote:Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 7:48pm
| my friends mum used to that, literally , she would lock my friend and her older bro and younger sister in the cupboard...surprisingly my friend has very little to do with her mother .... |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 8:21pm
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My understanding is that any kind of correction by force is illegal, so if your kid doesn't want to go into time around and you carry them there while they kick and scream, technically that's illegal. (if my interpretation is correct!)
Buuuuuut, my feeling is that you have only heard about 1% of the story. No one's gonna get their kids taken off them without there being some pretty horrible things going on and/or warnings given (in the case of lesser things). As in, if the authorities had difficulties with you using time out, they will likely ask you to change and follow up on you later. They only move in swiftly if they are convinced (and can convince the family court as much) that the kids are in some kind of danger. -------------  |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 8:24pm
| actually I heard something about Time out being made illegal too. something about it "restraining a child unecessarily" - not sure... |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 8:26pm
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so what are you allowed to do ?
by this rate you just have to sit back and allow your child to do whatever they want |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 9:01pm
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Well that's why I was disappointed that it wasn't clarified better in the first place. I don't want it overturned, I just want clarity.
Here's the actual text for anyone interested: Parental control (s59 of the Crimes Act) (1) Every parent of a child and every person in the place of a parent of the child is justified in using force if the force used is reasonable in the circumstances and is for the purpose of— (a) preventing or minimising harm to the child or another person; or (b) preventing the child from engaging or continuing to engage in conduct that amounts to a criminal offence; or (c) preventing the child from engaging or continuing to engage in offensive or disruptive behaviour; or (d) performing the normal daily tasks that are incidental to good care and parenting. (2) Nothing in subsection (1) or in any rule of common law justifies the use of force for the purpose of correction. (3) Subsection (2) prevails over subsection (1). (4) To avoid doubt, it is affirmed that the Police have the discretion not to prosecute complaints against a parent of a child or person in the place of a parent of a child in relation to an offence involving the use of force against a child, where the offence is considered to be so inconsequential that there is no public interest in proceeding with a prosecution. ETA: And a recent Police report on it which kinda shows that the incidents of these kind of reports aren't that high, but when parents are paranoid things can blow out of proportion. http://www.police.govt.nz/news/release/4027.html - linky ------------- |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 9:22pm
that is THE most pathetic thing i've ever heard!!!!!!!!!! 
god help the next generation...they are screwed! ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 9:23pm
that's really shocking! but for some reason, i couldn't help but laugh ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 9:27pm
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havnt read all the posts, but i do remember hearing an argument at the start of the year i think it was that had been bought up by some organisation that time out was bad and they wanted it made illegal, something about it being unfair to the child and , isolation blah blah
some people have too much time on their hands! and i bet they dont have kids either LOL ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 9:33pm
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so really just radeing thru the crimes act thing it actually contradicts itself.
it just makes me mad that a woman (mp SB) who herself has been charged with assaulting a police officer (wheres the respect there????!!!!) and whos kids have been in and out of jail numerous times! wants to tell the good parents in this country how they should be parenting their kids?! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 9:46pm
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It doesn't contradict itself at all, it just removes consequential smacking or force.
Time out CAN be construed as force as it is consequential, I think it is a load of BS that someone got their kids taken off them though. I think the best way that if you feel threatened and want to avoid (dammit no eye rolling emoticon) being a consequential forcer of time out (*rolleyes*) then pick your child up in a hug, carry them to where they are having time out and place them down. Me, I just tell Olivia to go to her room No touching involved!------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 9:51pm
dont worry , she also told me her mother would stand them in a row and knock their heads together, and i used to have this image of those silver balls on a string, where you swing one and they all knock together , and i would have to try not laugh, probably helps that my friend is so calm about it "oh yes,,,,i remember the days my mother would lock us out of the house in the rain ...but it was ok ! we would play SURVIVOR!" |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 9:59pm
PMSL the kelly! ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 10:03pm
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ROFL!
funny i pictured the silver balls too! i remember seeing our neighbour who is a surgeon chasing his son up the road with wooden spoon, the son ( i think we wouldve been 7 or 8) was laughing his head off and then dad caught him and smacked him and O grabbed the spoon and ran to the nearest drain and threw it in and then stood there going "nah nah na na nahhh you cant smack me now" it was real funny to watch ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 10:13pm
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haha, i remember my mum chasing my brother around the house with the wooden spoon and all of a sudden he stopped ! turned around !!! and grabbed it out of her hands and broke it in two !!! *gasP !*
the look on her face was priceless! ...then she says "right! i'll get the fish slice !" He ran for his life unnecessary exclamation marks added to make it more dramatic 
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 10:21pm
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ROFL!
i remember my mum doin the "i hope youve looked because if i come in there and find it your going to get such a smack!!" naturally she found it strait away , and i was gone! down the stairs and out the door, i figured if i pushed the button in on the lock as i ran out the door she wouldnt be able to get me so i stopped running just outside the door! but alas i forgot she could actually unlock it from her side!! i was about 9 i think. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 10:27pm
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hahaha!
guess our parents were smarter than we gave them credit for .... nah, twas because they had longer legs, thats all |
Posted By: Mama2two
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 11:10pm
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I seem to remember hearing something about time outs being classed as mental abuse!!! Soon we won't be allowed to parent our kids at all if the stupid government has anything to do with it!
Speaking of our childhood discipline. With my Mum it was more about the build up to the smack with the wooden spoon than the actual act. She would give you the look, tell you to go and get the wooden spoon and then make a big thing about you bending over and pulling your pants down. Before the smack came I would be hysterical - the smack itself was nothing compared to the fear of the thought of it BTW, I have someone managed to stay out of jail and have not gone crazy ape bonkers with any heavy machinery! Who would have thought!
Oh, and our 'wooden spoon' was actually purple and plastic after my big brother had the original wooden version snap mid smack and was stupid enough to be a smart arse and say 'Look mummy, now you have 2 wooden spoons'! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 11 July 2008 at 11:51pm
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Mental Abuse that is absurd!!!
I don't see anything wrong with putting them in a corner facing a wall for a couple of minutes to (hopefully) give them a chance to calm down and think about what they have done. and yup I agree it will get to the point where we wont even be able to tell our children off. it will be interesting when Megan is a older and how she behaves in public. Personally i don't think any parents should get a criminal record for giving their child a smack across the backside or leg..more often than not it is their pride(he child's) that is hurt. In saying that though I believe it should only be use as a last resort or if their lives are in immediate danger ie they have run across the road. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 12 July 2008 at 5:38am
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Mental abuse?? Time out illegal??? Jesh...if that was true then what next?????
Things are getting ridiculous! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 12 July 2008 at 8:49am
hehe same thing happened to my little brother ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 12 July 2008 at 9:05am
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i think the government needs to really but out on how people parent their kids!
mabye their parents were really hard on them or something, but its pathetic for them to tell a entire country how to parent our kids. what i am curious about tho is, if you were from eg: america and came to nz on a holiday, and smacked your kid what would happen?? i mean it is the LAW afterall. do they tell you on a plane on the way into nz that its illegal to smack your child?? i think the goverment needs to focus on the BIG issues, rather than the little things that may or may not change things. eg: if criminals fear the punishment of actual HARD time in prison they may think twice before doing it, rather than killing someone then being in and out of a cushy jail before their 30! its rediculas ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 12 July 2008 at 9:38am
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I didnt get the whole story from this lady hense why i asked here!....
I could vaguely recall hearing something about TO becomming ilegal but also figured that this lady mustv done something a little more than TO so what she did wasnt really my point in this topic - it was whether it actually is ileal for TO... I think that they are getting carried away with these laws
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 12 July 2008 at 9:41am
So what are they going to do if we all ignored the law and kept putting our kids in time out? They cant take kids off everyone or put us all in jail!!  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 12 July 2008 at 12:54pm
| I know at playcentre you can't put your kid in time out because the whole philosophy is that you can't exclude anyone from anything. |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 12 July 2008 at 1:33pm
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So out of interest Rach, how do they want/expect you to discipline your child at playcentre? -------------  
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 12 July 2008 at 2:16pm
they can to,! and we can PAAARRRRTYYYY !!!!!!!! 
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 12 July 2008 at 3:24pm
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Oh I hadnt htought about it like that!! Gosh that would be sooo much fun - a free holiday! ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 12 July 2008 at 3:55pm
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*imagines all the drunk partying parents while the children take over the world*
COUNT ME IN!!!!!!!! -------------   
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 12 July 2008 at 5:08pm
| Sweet ! lets go put our kids in timeout !! and do it loudly ! |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 12 July 2008 at 7:45pm
I think that they actually encourage you not to take the child totally out of the situation but to calm them down in the situation and let them sit in a chair right there until they feel they are ready to join the group again. However that doesnt work one bit with McKayla and works her up even more to the point that you cant calm her down. Quickest for me to deal with the situation is take her to the library. Have a bit of a talk. Hear her side and tell her my side. Come to a compromise and then join the situation again. Parents do use time out or what ever they find appropriate at our Playcentre still. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 12 July 2008 at 9:21pm
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Haha Kelly!!! ------------- |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 13 July 2008 at 10:59am
Actually most of the time the kids don't need discipline as such but more encouragement to share. I use time out at home tho and have used it there because Jack just lost the plot. In theory it sounds nice but in reality it just doesn't work and they understand we are just not 'suppose' to. |