Don’t get me wrong....
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Topic: Don’t get me wrong....
Posted By: BugTeeny
Subject: Don’t get me wrong....
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 3:22pm
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.....I am a nice person. Honest!
But in today's world of high fuel prices, rising food costs and crazy mortgage interest rates I am really beginning to become less than charitable 
Today, so far, I have had two kids come to the door (with their parents) selling chocolate to fundraise for their school camp. Now, I LOVE chocolate, and I thoroughly enjoyed my school camps/trips, but I just can't afford to spend $4 chocolate. I was holding Hannah, who was a little grizzly, might I add, and when I apologised and said I didn't have any cash, but wished them luck, one of the mothers looked a little skeptical and said "You don't have cash? You're a mother, you should ALWAYS have cash on you...." I just smiled and said "Have a nice day" and shut the door. So, OK. I can understand what she means... but keeping cash in my wallet so I can give it to strangers when they come on to MY property? I've also just hung up the phone after listening, politely, to a guy talking about Riding for the Disabled. I believe in this, I really do. But when he says I can give "$20, $30, or $40" I asked if there was a smaller option, as we have a new baby and funds are a little tight right now. He asked me , not in a nice way, if I would use the charity if MY child was disabled. 
I just hung up. I feel AWFUL for hanging up on him. But seriously. I donate on Daffodil day, to hospices, IHC and the MS society. Only a gold coin each time I see a collector, but every little bit helps, right? Hrmph. ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 3:27pm
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Erm why should you have cash cos your a mum? I have no idea what that is about, I never have cash on me, I have cards.
I think it is fair enough to say no sometimes. We try to do our bit but if money is tight money is tight. $20 is a lot especially when on a tight budget. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 3:28pm
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Absolutely!
I guess the cash thing is so you have money for incidentals should EFTPOS not be available...But really, how often does THAT happen? But I'm with you - everything goes on my credit card and paid off each month before interest is taken. -------------
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 3:30pm
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Oh I know what you mean about the charities phoning.. I don't mind their calls when they ring and ask for donations but they expect soooo much sometimes. If they asked, would you donate $5 then I would be a little happier and fine with it. One asked me the other day if I would spare $30 and I was like ummmm no, I don't have $30 sorry and the person was all cranky when I said that.
The kids in our neighbour are nice and so are their parents, I've never had them say I should carry cash. Why would I? |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 3:31pm
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I never carry cash, neither does DH, so anyone coming to our door is out of luck. I wouldn't have brought any chocolate if they'd come to our door, I don't believe that schools should be selling chocolate as a fund raiser. JMHO.
------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 3:32pm
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How rude of both of them!
I know exactly what you mean - We always give if we can but only if we can. I don't get the Mum's must have cash thing either!?!? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 3:36pm
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I think that is so rude. We are not obliged to give to any charity for what ever reason so they should just take a no as a no. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 3:36pm
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when charities ring up i just say - sorry i have already donated to my two charity organisations for the year... and $4 for chocolate, thats steep. normally they are cheaper than that, sounds like it may have been a scam?! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 3:37pm
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I never ever have cash on me as such. It is really rare in a month that I do have cash on me and when I do McKayla takes all of it and put it in her money box.
I really do like giving but get highly upset when it is expected of me and then wont give on principal. I know I can be really mean.  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 3:40pm
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I never have cash on me either. That was pretty rude of the mother to say actually!!
We're the same, give bits here and there to charities when we can... and sponsor a child and give money to our church which does a lot in the community... not a lot but you're right, every little bit helps. Imagine if everyone gave a gold coin every time they saw a collector. And with the whole people being rude on the phone, reminds me of a phonecall I had the other day. We always have these annoying people who say "Hello Mrs **** I'm ringing from Australia" and try and get me to do some stupid holiday thing. I'm always polite, sometimes let them say a couple of sentences before saying "I'm not interested thankyou". And they talk soooo slowly and always have English as a second language so it can be quite painful sometimes as they're obviously reading from a manual thing word for word, cos when you say something, they just say something else that doesn't even respond to what you just said lol. So the other day as soon as he said he was calling from Australia, I said "oh we're not interested thankyou, and could you please take our name off the calling list as we get quite a few calls from you".... polite tone and everything, cos I figure it's their job, they have to do it, they have to pay the bills somehow right. And he hung up on me!!!! Without saying ok sure, thankyou, or bye! Boy was I fuming. I think if I have the common decency to be polite to someone who is actually really annoying (and I'm sure they'd get a lot of people being rude to them), the least they can do is be polite back. Anyway, totally off topic --- but some people can be rude these days huh? ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 3:47pm
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What got me was a Plunket person in the mall tried to get me to donate something like $30 a month. When I told her I was with Te Puawaitanga not Plunket, she gave me this big lecture about it. Um excuse me, get over it.
They also hit up a friend of mine and the only way she got out of it was writing the wrong bank details down. They then rang her up and told her she was wrong, and she eventually told them she couldn't afford it. So so pushy. Like new mothers can afford that service. I was at the ATM once and a kid selling chocolate came up behind me and said 'Oh I see you're getting money out, buy some chocolate off me' I was very polite but then lost it when he stayed there badgering me so I turned around and gave him an earful with some not so nice words. A 12-year old should no better. Even better, I told his description to my friend who teaches in his syndicate and he got in trouble hehe that'll teach the littly shyte some manners.
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 3:49pm
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I got asked if I would like to give $1 to cure kids when I purchased a $2 newspaper the other day. I said no thanks but felt terribly guilty then annoyed for them making me feel guilty. I just cant donate to EVERY charity. When I win lotto (power ball of at least $16mil and no sharing) thenI will make up for my scroogeness but right now my famiy needs the money more than I do.
I did get stopped by Barnardoes once and when I said "Sorry but we're on a tight budget right now" the lady said "of course, I understand, thanks for listening, have a nice day".....now THAT is the response you should get. |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 3:52pm
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I don't carry cash on me unless I know I need it for something, that is when I get it out of the hole in the wall!!! How rude of those people. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 4:00pm
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I never have cash on me....so what is that all about?
And how rude!! if some one says no then leave them alone! I donate to Unicef each month...that day they called to ask if I could increase the pymnts...I told them that I wish I could increase it by loads but I am pregnant and will have no income for 6 months therefore cant commit to more that $5 increase a month (hey I spend that much on a cup of coffee) and he was very nice about it! he kept thanking me and telling me that even $5 goes a long way!! But badgering people is just pure rude!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: gypsynita
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 4:02pm
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how rude!! it's your decision whether or not you donate, and not their place to question you if you say you can't (or won't for that matter)... you should have told her off for teaching her child bullying tactics by example ------------- Anita Mum to Cian (Aug 08), Josh (Jun 10) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 4:09pm
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We just dropped my BIL's car back to him as Hubby had been loaning it for the weekend to take a trip away. I opened up one of the compartments in the front seat area and there was about $30 in change sitting in it Fark it would be nice to have $30 to sit around doing nothing in my car!! I have also had people rattling the tin at me lately but I just have NO money to give.
Personally, I think you did the right thing in the face of rudeness, polite but to the point. I don't get it how their kids are trying to make money from candy because THEY can't afford it but think obviously you can because you aren't them - classy. What ever happened to hearing no gracefully? ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: Freesia
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 4:38pm
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I never have cash on me either. We get loads of the telemarketers calling and some of them do get really curt. It's so annoying how the same ones keep calling you too. Now as soon as they say "Hi, I'm *** from ***" I just cut them off, say "I'm not interested" and hang up. I've given up waiting 10min to get a word in.
The only charities I really go out of my way for are MS, SPCA and local hospices. Nowadays we can't afford to support every charity so we just have to pick the ones that 'mean' something to us and do our little bit there. -------------  
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 5:00pm
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Yup I think CureKids was the charity I have donated money to several times in the past few days ...at Briscoes they ask you at the counter if you'd like to add $1 to your purchase for the Cure Kids fund ...(I *think* it was cure kids) ....each time I felt horribly guilty and put on the spot so I said yes ....especially since I had the little rascal with me, I would have looked a terrible mother otherwise (or at least thats how I felt at the time) ....the 4th time I had to go back (was trying to track down something in their circular) I turned around and said no I've already donated 3 times THANKS!
But every person infront of me said yes ...so imagine how much money they must make using that approach ...think of all the Briscoes stores (and I assume other shops prob follow suit) and all the customers that go through them and give $1. Definitely an effective way of getting people to donate ....also kinda rude! |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 5:03pm
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That person from Riding from the disabled was so rude! I have had the same people ask me for donations and I had the same response - sorry but is there a smaller amount I could give? The person I had though was very understanding.
Also the people who ring with holidays to Aussie - I had that the other day but the person knew my first name so obviously I'm now on 'the list' as opposed to them going through the phone book. This is the first time I've had a call like that so it makes me wonder where they got my name from. I just told them I had a young baby so wasn't traveling anywhere for a long long time and she laughed and thanked me for my time. I agree though. We just have enough for us at the moment and I can't do charities this year. No one should be made to feel guilty for that. -------------  
 
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 5:41pm
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Wow crazy stuff, we just had some Indian lady phone here offering that free holiday to Australia ...she wouldn't let me get a bloody word in! I ended up shouting 'NOT INTERESTED' and slamming the phone down! Are they actually calling from Aus? She sounded distant and crackly ....and god couldn't they at least hire people who speak clear English?
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 5:52pm
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I've had the Aussie Holiday people calling...they always sound so put out when I point out that I am a travel agent and really don't need thier "free" holiday.
And you're not the only one becoming less that charitable...I've had to start saying no to the Curekids becuase all the $1 donations are adding up!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 5:57pm
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I'm a mum and I *never* have cash lol - if I do my kids help themselves to it! Most weeks I am scratching to get together $3 for Mainly Music and $5.50 for Maya's school lunch on a Thurs coz I always use my card.
I have certain charities I support (the local Hospice and Kidney Kids) and I do tend to give a couple of dollars if there are collectors outside Countdown for various charities. I gave $1 to Curekids last time I was at Patch, but that was coz I was spending $200-odd and I figured $1 was neither here nor there lol. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: ellen
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 6:06pm
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It's sad that you were made to feel bad for saying no to the chocolate. I can't believe someone would have the audacity to say you should carry cash - WHO CARRIES CASH ANY MORE? What a great role model of understanding is that mother?
I used to let the telemarketers do their thing before I said no - now I get in before they can get in full swing and politely tell them I'm not interested. It particularly annoys me that I can hardly understand what most of them are saying anyway! Our school had a carwash at the local supermarket to raise money for a school camp. We didn't specify a $$ amount but instead asked for donations as the kids did most of it and we couldn't guarantee the quality. Some gave gold coins and others gave $5, $10 & $20 - people just gave what they could and what they thought it was worth. In the end I think they made about $600. |
Posted By: Mum2L
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 6:33pm
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I honestly can't be bothered giving to charities now, as I seem to be suffering from 'charity burnout'. It is really bad in Wellington city, as there seems to be a bucket collection every day for every charity under the sun. In the end, I just started walking past. It is sad, but I have to do it. I worked out that I donated about $300 last year to those bucket collections. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: LeahandJoel
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 6:35pm
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If its the holiday ones or the ones selling the booklets with vouchers I just say no thanks and hang up whether or not they hear me is their problem. We donate to Blind foundation, guide dogs, Hearing assoc. (these we have used as a family so are happy to donate during their weeks), and starship, (hoping like heck we never have to use it!) I was asked to donate for some disaster once and when I said no thanks ( in fact we had already donated) I got the full song and dance about helping others I said to them that these days I am a needy person with a small child so when was someone going to support me monthly? That shut them up quickly! -------------  
 
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Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 7:19pm
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Ugh, how rude... What part of 'NO' don't they understand!!
Our phone number is unlisted and STILL we get telemarketers and people calling to sell us stuff...HOW do they get our number???? -------------  
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 7:33pm
I gave it to them , sorry Neeks, thought you wouldnt mind ..... but seriously , for goodness sakes, some people are rude and pushy ! its like the member on here ( i forget who sorry ) who was harrassed by men wanting her to sign about getting rid of the no smacking bill ! If we had the money (eg we were Brad and Ange or something ) im sure we would all LOVE to donate to whatever we could , but we arent -(I think ..Angelina isnt on here is she ?) Money in my wallet, i never have money in my wallet, whats that about? ooh shes lucky she didnt come to my door, im such a b*tch to people like that, i would have said "no. I dont " and given her a withering look (im good at those, lots of practice  )
As for the riding for the disabled guy, what a t**ser! who the hell does he think he is ? |
Neeks wrote:Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 7:38pm
LOL thanx Kelly, you're a real gem  -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 7:38pm
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anytime mate, anytime
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Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 9:01pm
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We are unlisted too, but somehow manage to get people calling from Australia offering their credit collection services to us...(we are on their database as a company)....thats pretty funny, but they are always polite. I dont mind the collectors on the streets, as at least you can walk away....I do hate the kids coming door knocking selling chocolate (I am with you Mel, I think its wrong that schools are selling chocolate!! So much for promoting healthy eating...) we seem to have quite a lot of kids come around (there are loads of families around us)...and most of the time we feel so sorry for them that we end up buying it! But occasionally its older kids - ie youngish teenagers, and I sometimes feel quite intimidated. On that note - when people knock on your door, do you just open it, or do you check to see who it is first? Do you have a chain on your door? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 9:24pm
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Well I don't mind the kids at the door thing although like someone else said $4 for chocolate is a bit steep usually is $2or 3. As for the bucket thing's there are only certain ones we will donate to. I think the cure kids thing is awfully cheecky to be honest cause 9 times out of 10 people are going to say yes that is alot of money to raise. as for people ringing up for them I hate this as often its tea tme etc. So I just say sorry not a good time to be calling good bye. I do try to give when I can cause I do think being generous is a good wya to live, but I also think there is limit to how much people should push to get thing's. As far as that plunket thing goes there is no way the ywould get anything out of me and when i have been hit up I politley say no as i was rather disapointed the the service or lack of it we recieved. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 14 July 2008 at 9:39pm
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I to never carry cash and struggle to scrape up enough for mainly music...if I have cash DH pinches it and buys V drinks, I eftpos everything. We have an unlisted number so barely get calls for donations. I have a weakness for the Child Cancer Charity and donate to them online whenever I can. I like the txt charities as they only as $3.00 and we can do that!! ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08) 
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 15 July 2008 at 12:08am
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lucky that mother didnt come to my door i dont carry cash and if she had said that i woulda asked if her boobs are hooked up for eftpos as im not behind the times.
These days i dont have the patience for rude people so i tend to be quite blunt. I once had a child come up to me at the drags and ask me for money just cos he wanted it and wouldnt take no for an answer i told him if he didnt bugger off i would get someone to chase him away (i was about 7 months preg). He was prolly about 12 and i woulda demanded a chat with his parents if i wouldnt have had to waddle anywhere to find them -------------   
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Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 15 July 2008 at 9:30am
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I strongly disagree with anyone coming onto my property or phoning me with out invitation. I am a grown up, who chooses what charities I would like to donate to, and I do so. I will not be harrassed into it by 'cold calling'. I do sympathise with charities as it's a hard road to raise funds, but I feel that by invading my privacy they will only go on my 'who not to donate to' list. Harsh probably, but that's how I feel. ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 15 July 2008 at 9:36am
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Neeks when you put your number onto and entry form for anything that is how they can get it. And also a few months back there was the thing about companies getting numbers from LTSA throuhg number plates and licence numbers. I did hear on the news this morning that the United party has a policy of no tellymarketing calls after 9pm and a national register so your number is off any tellymarketing register. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 15 July 2008 at 12:44pm
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I don't like the phone calls either. I just say no don't call again.
Luckily where we are we don't get door knockers coz it's too dangerous but I too also object to people coming onto my property and trying to scam money out of us. Has happened living elsewhere. The thing that gets me about shops like Briscoes or Pumpkin Patch is that they think they're doing a good thing by asking you to donate a $1 but with all the zillions of dollars worth of profit they make why are they not donating $1 for every $1 you donate? It just doesn't gel with me I'm afraid. I also refuse to be guilted into donating. DH and I have gone without a lot of things to get to this point in our lives. I love to help people out and we donate when we feel like it and don't feel pressured. The more pressure somone puts on me the more stubborn I get. And when I win my millions I'm going to put a million dollars aside and use the interest made to help pay for herceptin medicine. Of course I'll donate to other charities but that will be my main one. Come on Powerball!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 15 July 2008 at 12:49pm
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DF was telling me he heard some guy on the radio say a really entertaining suggestion for the phone people, say "hang on, sorry, could you hang on just a minute?" then walk away for about 10 or so minutes, and when you come back, they'll be gone
haha laugh tho if they are still there ! |
Posted By: Freesia
Date Posted: 15 July 2008 at 3:07pm
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Ha ha, I might try that one next time -------------
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Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 15 July 2008 at 5:15pm
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hehehe my Dad always says "How about I call you back? What's the most inconvenient time for you?"
then hangs up  -------------
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Posted By: catisla
Date Posted: 15 July 2008 at 5:43pm
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If people really don' t take no for an answer and you don't want to be rude, a great line to tell them is that your emigrating next month (this worked a dream for me when i really was leaving the UK for here) It works for those annoying people who try to get you to switch electricity supplier as well. ------------- |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 15 July 2008 at 6:43pm
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haha mama pickle , love it
I remember watching my overly flamboyant friend answer the phone to a survey person once, he tried telling them it wasnt a convenient time but they wouldn't listen ....so , he started singing to them , California Dreaming,and at the end he said "thankyou very much " and hung up |